Making Room in the World for Me

by Joseph Barker, Graphic Designer, Melbourne, Australia.

Have you ever felt scared of other people? I grew up being scared of my parents, particularly my Dad. When they used to fight and he got angry, it felt like I was being torn inside. When I spoke up it only seemed to make things worse, so I ran and hid in my room.

I’m 35, and recently I’ve realised I’ve spent my life still hiding in this room. True, I moved country (to the other side of the world!), but essentially I’ve always reacted the same way. When things get challenging, I run back to my safety zone: my work, my computer, my home. I say I am open to others, but I only let people see a bit of me, only get ‘so’ close.

This ‘beautiful isolation’ has not been beautiful at all. There has always been a deep sense of loneliness, of feeling ugly, and that I was unacceptable.

Three years ago I met a woman who was different. She was warm, honest, funny and direct. But it was the way she tenderly folded my jumper one day and placed it on my bed that touched me in a way I can’t explain. When she introduced me to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and the possibility that:

‘everything is energy – therefore everything is because of energy’

it simply made so much sense. It confirmed the feelings I had been having all my life – and explained the care I felt in the way she lived.

When I attended a Universal Medicine event for the first time my immediate impression was one of equality and unbelievable safety. Here were all these people, and yet I felt so safe and warm! Through the simple presentations and healing work I have been part of since then, I have come to recognise that the monster I have been running away from all these years actually does not exist. All I am running away from is life itself.

Seeing I have a choice to stay present no matter what occurs has been incredibly powerful. We often hear that to be an adult you need to harden up, to take life on the chin. My experience is the opposite. I have discovered that when I let myself really feel what’s going on, with me and other people, I have the opportunity to make an informed choice, to take responsibility. If I choose to leave I can do it knowingly – not from fear or a perceived hurt. In short, I no longer have to run away from life, or run away from me.

I am not perfect. I’m learning to do this and communicate. 30+ years in a small dark room will tend to cramp your style! Through the friendships I am letting into my life, and old connections I am nourishing, a new trust is being built. Again and again the theme is of simplicity, and that we are all the same. Today my Dad and I are able to talk as equals, and I know and understand he’s actually always been underneath, a tender and gentle man, just like me. Although we’re not together anymore, I walk every week with the lady I mentioned above. We have developed an honest and open friendship which continues to grow and enrich my life.

Yesterday I returned home from a simple barbecue – a few people in the sun talking and having fun being together. Nothing earth shattering happened. No miracles or lightning struck. But when I returned to my old safety zone, my home, I felt well, warm, vital and alive. And I realised… it’s people: I love being with people. All people, all sizes, shapes and kinds. Yes, it can be challenging at times, but it’s why I feel I am here. To share and joke and laugh and hug. To question and contemplate. Yes, people get angry and frustrated, but now I see that is not something to be scared of, but to understand. We all have much to learn. It’s like I am finally returning to my younger self in that room and giving him a big hug. We have a world and soon he sees that the world is an awesome place to be. Besides he’s 6ft 3” and way too big for such a small room anymore!

At last, I am making room in the world for me.

234 thoughts on “Making Room in the World for Me

  1. Making room for our essences is such a home coming. Every room is open, as the doors are never closed and we find that we can explore and eliminate all the hidden atrocities we have had over many life-times, those things that have remand in those corners hidden under all our-stuff.

  2. When we come across somebody who has a genuine streak to them, that can touch us very deeply. I remember meeting a woman who had been attending Universal Medicine events for a few years and the hug she gave me felt like it was out of this world, so open and warm – I kept wanting more and more. It is those little things that open up our eyes and show us that there is a different way of living, different way of being with people and that behaviour passes the test time because it is consistent and reassuring.

  3. When we start to understand energy we realise that many very sensitive and tender people are underneath those that display violent behaviour, and by not judging we become open to understanding.

  4. It is so important that we take ourselves by the hand and guide us gently and tenderly through life. We can bring and live the love that we all so very much deserve and yearn for.

  5. Thank you Joseph for me this was a great reminder of how we can be touched by the most simplest of things, not by the act but by the tenderness in which they are performed.

  6. I love reading this. It reminds me of how I and my world has changed so much since being introduced to Universal Medicine. Everything has been so enriched and continues to deepen and this blog reminds me to appreciate and not take for granted for all these changes.

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