In 1966 I was born into what is commonly known as ‘Middle England’. For those who are not familiar with this term, it is not a geographical location; Middle England is used to describe a particular class of people in England. People in ‘Middle England’ are characterised by the fact that they are neither rich nor poor, they are what is known as ‘comfortably off’. In fact, not only are they ‘comfortably off’ but they are ‘comfortably everything’. Comfort is a defining factor in nearly every aspect of life in ‘Middle England’. There are of course exceptions to the rule, but I shall talk about what makes up life for the majority of the people in Middle England, for I am one of them.
We tend to be well educated, not boffins by any stretch of the imagination, but our parents instilled in us the importance of doing well at school. A good education, a good job and a good life are all intrinsically linked in Middle England. In fact we see ourselves as ‘good’ people. We have enough money for it to not be an issue. We can afford family holidays, school fees, clothes with ‘labels’ and a couple of cars.
Middle England is a very cosy place, very cosy indeed, and therein lies the problem – when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave. We settle into comfortable jobs, comfortable friendships, hobbies that bring us comfort and comfortable marriages. What adds to our idea that comfort is a goal of life is that we compare ourselves to the majority of the world’s population who are struggling with the day to day basics such as food and water and we feel very privileged and lucky to be living the way that we do…
But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?
Ah, now that changes… everything!
I have spent many years feeling what is commonly considered as ‘comfortable’. However what I now know is that feeling ‘comfortable’ actually took a considerable amount of effort because my body did not feel naturally comfortable at all. In fact my body was pretty irritated and uncomfortable most of the time, but due to the array of medications that I chose to administer myself, I rarely got to feel the full force of my discomfort.
I drank coffee to pep me up, I exercised strenuously to take the edge off my gnawing irritation, I ate sugar to rev me a little, I smoked marijuana to stifle my anger – oh, and my anger was to stifle my sadness, I had boyfriends to cover up my low self esteem, I overate to dull my awareness, I watched a lot of really crap telly to simply zone out and I partied hard in order to completely and utterly obliterate my ability to feel anything other than high. There is nothing that I have listed here that is unusual, in fact all of this is considered very normal for people who consider that they have a comfortable way of life – how else do we maintain the facade of comfort?
Repetition goes hand in hand with comfort. What is it that we repeat? Well, we repeat everything: we say the same things to the same people in the same way, we behave exactly the same with the same people, we do the same things at the same time in the same way, we eat and drink the same things, we smoke the same things and ingest the same things, we move in the same way, we think the same thoughts that we have always done and very often all of these things are actually very similar to the way in which the generation before us chose to do things.
We may kid ourselves that we are branching out by trying something new, but often that ‘new something’ has the same flavour as pretty much everything else that we’ve always done.
For example, I replaced strenuous gym work with strenuous yoga, thinking that I was bettering myself, oblivious to the fact that I was replacing one medication for another. I replaced marijuana with meditation, again thinking that I was doing something better and missing the fact that they both served the same purpose and that was to prevent me from feeling what I was feeling.
The Truth was forever inside me but comfort lay like a blanket of fog over the top of truth, obscuring my ability to feel it clearly.
Getting out of comfort is not easy: there is an inertia built into comfort that means that extracting ourselves from comfort has the same momentum as running in quicksand.
But the truth of the matter is there is no place for comfort in truth and no truth in comfort.
Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.
It is a misconception to think that living a life of comfort is actually easy – it takes a huge amount of effort to give the appearance that nothing much is changing. If you look at a man walking in a wind tunnel, it may appear as if he is not moving at all but he is actually having to work very hard at staying where he is because he is working against the force of the wind. We are all getting pulled up to constantly evolve, that is the natural order of life, therefore to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve.
Comfort is a form of mummification, one that we have chosen for lifetime after lifetime, which begs the question as to why we continuously choose comfort over truth. Deep down (whether conscious or not) we can all feel the same unbearable fact and that is, that this bastardised version of life is the culmination of every single choice that we have ever made. If we owned up to this fact then we would all be called to account, and that is something that most of us aren’t prepared to let happen, therefore we often choose comfort because it feels much easier to simply put the telly on and have a beer: avoidance is our default setting, and although it muddies our perception, it can’t actually prevent us from feeling the truth of all things.
I am forever grateful to Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon Family and to the Universal Medicine Student Body for their commitment to both the truth and to love. I have been continuously inspired to make different choices, and those choices have led to an increase in awareness, a deeper understanding of life, and to begin the process of dispersing my own fog of comfort.
By Alexis Stewart, Dedicated Student of The Way of The Livingness, Partner to an amazing man, Mum to a beautiful boy, Yoga Teacher, Disability Care Worker, Sydney
Further Reading:
How Hard is it to Change?
Comfort | Unimedpedia
Countries in Comfort
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
I totally get what you are sharing here about how being comfortable is so not it but it is also our default desire to be comfortable rather than truly align to evolution.
These two statements stood out for me and much to ponder on, “when something is so comfortable, there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave” and “But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?” Could we really digest this because we are either of these – where are you?
Whilst you were born in ‘Middle England’, I was born in a village in India and raised in the Midlands of England. I was bought up in struggle, and this struggle remained within me for many years. From time to time it tries to sneak in and I know that this is just an illusion to make me less when I know I more than this. Materialistic things are not the answer too, there is nothing more priceless than finding the true love that I am and this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine too – I am forever grateful for re-discovering who I truely am.
Beautiful, and it is true discovering who you truly are is the best thing ever.
It is staggering the amount of effort required to maintain the facade of comfort that so many settle for and it is only by examining the choices we are making and becoming aware of how this cements us in a way of life that has to be constantly maintained, that we can start to make different choices and emerge from under our blanket of comfort and choose the path of evolution in which there is no room for comfort.
The paradox of comfort is that one has to work hard to maintain comfort.
‘Middle England’ is very much like ‘Middle Earth’, a term used by Tolkein to indicate a state of comfort and the status quo. In this land people love their comfort, whether it is the latest trendy this or that, or their wine and dinner parties, or their Sunday morning with croissants and coffee along with a ;Good Weekend’ style newspaper supplement. In hobbit land( ‘Hobbiton’) comfort is double breakfasts, a continually singing kettle, and cake-filled afternoon teas, and described as ‘‘a wise respectable country inhabited by decent folk, with good roads, an inn or two’. After his huge adventure out into the world to face the giant spiders (complication), goblins (resistance, nastiness, brutality) and trolls (well we all know what they are), Bilbo Baggins comes back to Hobbiton but now no one wants to know him. He cannot have his old life back because he has grown and evolved in himself and the inhabitants of Hobbiton no longer recognise him, and treat him as a suspicious stranger. This is why so many people seek the comfort of comfort, so that they will be acceptable to the population around them.
Not wanting to stand out plays a massive part in keeping the status quo but when the status quo is a stagnant millpond of lies (and we know that it is), it speaks volumes about the ‘set-up’ that we have purposefully set up.
Yes Alexis, the spirit has deliberately buried itself in lie upon lie and the ‘status quo’ is a polluted conglomeration of those lies which are constantly kept together and operating to maintain the comfort the spirit so desperately needs for its separated existence.
Wow that is an awesome revelation Lindy, I remember that part of the LOTR movie and hadn’t put it together like you have done. Brilliant observation of life and why we want to stay in comfort.
“when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.” However, even while living in the illusion of comfort that is a powerful knowing that there is something missing.
and that missing something is us.
Living a life of comfort is a great way to mask our awareness and hence we feel comfortable being comfortable, yet when we start to feel the truth we realise that we can no longer live in the comfort that we did, and taking responsibility for our choices is a great start.
Discomfort is a great sign of increased awareness. How different would our lives be if we actively avoided comfort and instead sort discomfort? Not so as to make life miserable but to always be looking at increasing our awareness and thereby forever going deeper into life.
Feeling comfortable is a lot like lying. It becomes our illusion and is something that has to be constantly fed, or it crashes around us. Evolution is about making choices. Choosing to stand still evolves no one.
So true feeding the illusion is a huge distraction and leaves no space for evolution.
‘Middle England is a very cosy place, very cosy indeed, and therein lies the problem – when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.’ I am feeling that whatever situation one is brought up in, the comfort of the ingrained attitudes and rounds would be enough to keep one going around and around like a cracked record. But the ‘middle’ may well be one of the trickiest situations to emerge from. Personally speaking, although I had a reasonably ‘comfortable’ childhood (financially) and a super easy childhood relationship-wise, I was still appalled by the world situation and this in itself made me question the very fabric of society and its raison d’être. But it wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon and saw his presentations that I realised the depths of danger in ‘comfort’.
Yeah it is easy to miss how devolving our norm of comfort is. We stop seeing anything for what it truly is. At least a drug addict knows their life is not it. Whereas when we are comfortable we can easily think we are all good.
The mere fact that there are massive levels of alcohol, drug abuse, extreme sport activities and a lust for escapism in and amongst the middle classes of countries all over the world, shows what Alexis has accurately revealed here, in that there is absolutely no true comfort in living in a way that never challenges the status quo, or the security-driven mindset that rules it.
We all know that Life is designed to expand constantly and that our true purpose is to support life to do exactly that and so what kind of a strange life have we set up here on Earth, when we are all so desperate for nothing to truely change? and how much force do we have to constantly apply to resist the natural pull of the Universe?
Suicide is the leading cause of death world wide. It is safe to say that these souls cannot bear how awful life is and how we are missing the connection to the greater aspects of life and the universe. We all know the truth.
“Repetition goes hand in hand with comfort.”- The repetition of behaviours based on a familiarity of those choices brings about a false sense of what is ‘normal’ and thus accepted by the masses, even if those choices have lead us all more and more astray from understanding and living from our true inner essence, power, and potential.
One day we will all realise that what we have come to accept and even embrace as ‘normal’ is actually abnormal and even abhorrent to all of us when we are living from truth.
That day seems a long long way off, but when I think I’m the not to distant future we will look at this particular phase of humanity with particular abhorrence for its normal is so destructive to our being-ness.
Being comfortable is like being very good in avoiding being challenged. To do this we need to numb ourselves quite a lot with food, watching TV, alchohol or drugs and also ticking the boxes like having a job, a family etc so we don’t need to go out there and really be ourselves in the world.
It is precisely because we are not being ‘ourselves in the world’ that we need to mummify ourselves in comfort.
Yes being ourselves is the answer to our woes in the first place, comfort and everything associated with it is an endless vicious cycle until we step off and return to being ourselves.
There is a saying about boiling a frog, if you do it slowly it will just lie there and be boiled to death, but if you were to place it in boiling water it would hop straight out. This is the evil of comfort you just keep doing it until it eventually kills you.
The thing with comfort is that we can be quite happy there as everything is ok. Looking at ourselves and way of life may not come to the forefront as nothing is wrong. And this is where the evil lies – in our apathy.
Comfort does not necessarily mean that everything is ok. Many people are very comfortable being unhappy and actually more comfortable when things are painful and difficult than when things start ‘going well’ for them. Comfort refers much more to what we’re used to, rather than to something being ok.
This is a beautiful expose on the comfort we have all chosen, all around the world. The fact that you have lived comfort and evolution means that you write in a way that understands both deeply and without judgement life from both inside and outside the wind tunnel. Thank you for actually putting what you have lived down in history for all of us to learn from.
It is true that repetition goes hand in hand with comfort. When we introduce something into our rhythm that is not supportive, and we keep repeating it, then we are choosing to lessen. The fact is as human beings we are constantly evolving, and if we go against this, it is comfort.
When repetition is borne out of self love then it creates a loving and solid foundation. A rock solid base on which we can stand. The question therefore is ‘is what we are repeating loving or not?’
It is very understandable that people seek comfort and safety in such world we have created – full of lies, illusions, violence, jealousy, dog eats dog, cat fights cat. People seek anything that will lessen the pain and ensure a ‘better’ future. If only we realised that our complete joy, love and fulfillment lies in our very own hands – reconnect to the inner heart and find the jewel right there.
To the Sons of God that we all are, comfort is purgatory.
Having been a professional dancer for 17 years it is interesting seeing some people I know doing excessive Yoga and seeing them believing that they are doing something great for their body. I feel their bodies are hard as before and it feels this is like being not as honest. Before when I was a dancer it was obvious to me I have to make my body hard and in a way smash it. Yoga has this spiritual stamp, that says you are more caring for your body. But in fact, the energy of disregarding the gentleness and delicateness in the body is the same as my dancing profession, but just having a different face.
Stephanie I agree, there are many similarities between dancing and the type of yoga that people have erroneously come to believe is yoga. Both push the body to physical extremes, both put the body into unnatural positions, both involve pain, both provide identity to the person performing, both are impulsed by the same pranic energy; an energetic source that does not come from soul. But make no mistake, even when an activity doesn’t involve pain or harmful positions but is impulsed by prana then it is still harmful.
Absolutely- especially the identification is a huge one. For me it feels it is the prior reason, why you then put your body under pain and extremes postures etc.. The identification needs constant feed and the more you stick out and belong the more it gets fed.
When I go into comfort and plateauing or not being focussed I am open for energies that just want to destroy me. This might be very destructive thoughts in form of doubts or anxiousness. We are made to stay present and to constantly move on- I get it proofed every time. The moment I connect back- the thoughts etc have no chance to get me.
When any of us go into comfort, plateauing or not being focused the energy that wants to take us away from our connection with God is already in and having it’s way. It is our movements (movements being physical movements, speech and thoughts) that have the ability to switch us from this separative energy to the united energy of fire.
Sadly we have made life about comfort- always chasing the dream at the expense of the body; this is the opposite to the richness of the universe that we have access to when we are willing to respond to the call of evolution.
“always chasing the dream at the expense of the body”, rather than connecting with everything that we’ve ever truly wanted through the body.
True that repetition goes hand in hand with comfort. It sets up patterns and an ‘easy’ way of living that we start to default into rather than reading everything all the time and welcoming what is next. Comfort keeps us from evolving and keeps everything about a 1 dimensional way of life.
It’s great how you show that the kind of ‘comfort’ you describe here actually wasn’t truly comfortable and that there was a constant nagging disquiet underneath that we often dull down or try to avoid when actually that tension helps us to recognise when we’re not living true to who we are and so is something there to help us not just settle in the false comfort…
This is all so very true and I absolutely love what you have shared and exposed here Alexis. Perhaps we need to redefine comfort, for how can it be that something that requires so much force to sustain it, can be deemed in any way comfortable when it is the direct opposite of what true comfort actually is. True comfort is being at one with the flow of life and living in such a way that we are not imposing on our external environment nor allowing certain factors within this environment to impose on us. Our evolution is about returning to our true self – the body of love that is our Soul – and in this process we get to feel a greater settlement within our body and the way in which we move through life when we allow this love to infuse all that we do.
Liane the eloquence of your reply has enabled me to see (yet again) that “True comfort is being at one with the flow of life and living in such a way that we are not imposing on our external environment”, there are still many things in my life that I try to impose myself upon and my body lets me know very clearly what they are, as I feel very uncomfortable when I bring force into life that is simply wanting to flow.
No surprise everything in this world is designed to not let us feel the tension underneath the seemingly comfort. It needs constant feed to not feel the universal pull, that asks you to be more ALL THE TIME.I would throw the word settlement into this- and rereading you comment Liane I see you used the word as well. Being connected to the flow of life and true evolution back to our soul you will always feel the tension that asks you to be more, but don´t have to call in forces to numb the feeling of not living it.
” Getting out of comfort is not easy: there is an inertia built into comfort that means that extracting ourselves from comfort has the same momentum as running in quicksand.
But the truth of the matter is there is no place for comfort in truth and no truth in comfort.” Very true Alexis – Life isn’t just about ‘me’, We are not here to live comfortable lives and not progress in our evolution.
Sue, indeed we are not here to live comfortable lives and yet we have cocooned ourselves in our own private duck down donnas (duvets), with what appears to me to be little or no regard for anyone who does not in some way contribute to keeping us mollycoddled.
So lovely to read, how we live in comfort is what needs to be dissolved. It is that comfort that keeps us in continuous struggle, although we may not see it as such. It really is a source of our constant wanting to check out, to numb our bodies, as we are not made to stay stagnant. We are here to evolve.
I have started to seek out the unease, the tension and the disharmony because I know that by addressing the source of these things, I am addressing what keeps me in separation from God.
It is extraordinary to see the layers of comfort we have chosen to numb ourselves out to the blatant and not so blatant horror of our way of life on earth. It is alarming and sobering to realise that ‘comfort’ actually describes practically everything that we do.
Brilliant blog Alexis exposing the comfort so many settle for, but in fact becomes very uncomfortable when you’re open to truth and evolution.
It takes a lot of hard work to remain in the comfort. This line is a clincher. “It is a misconception to think that living a life of comfort is actually easy.”
What a great sharing exposing the trap that comfort truly is. Comfort is actually so uncomfortable we are always left unsettled no matter how ‘better’ we think we might have become. Something is forever missing and we dare not look at that something for fear that it might capsize a bigger picture that a tiny boat of discomfort is floating within, and it will. It is a perpetual chasing of own tail.
Your blog is so inspiring and timely for me, thank you Alexis, I have for a few months now been experiencing the comfort of a habit pattern I feel is not only this apart of this life but lifetimes past, it is so easy to be caught up in it and in its familiarity it feels comfortable even though my body feels beaten up. “Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.” I can feel the tragedy of living my life hiding away in comfort, and denying the light that I have come to this world to bring. I feel inspired to look and feel deeply into the hurts that I have covered up and so not wanted to feel, so that my soul can bring healing to myself.
and once our soul has brought healing to us then it can then go about the business of bringing healing to all others.
Yes Alexis, and this is our definite healing, being able to share with others the result of our achievements and consolidating them with our sustained commitment
Is it not amazing how terrible it is to live in the space called “Middle England” when you bring truth to it. And to think this is what a lot of people aspire to, due to the comfort people living in “Middle England” seem to have. But as seen by the writing, comfort is no fun, no joy.
The comfort you are talking about is a life setting, its a condition, an addiction and it is so ingrained that sometimes it doesn’t even appear like a comfort at all. Great subject to expose, as it still has a hold on most of us in one way or another.
Often our lives of comfort are not rocked or questioned until something happens and this then provides us an opportunity to go deeper and question things.
The thing is, in our ‘masterful avoidance’ we are not only avoiding dealing with what holds us back and the intricacies we have crafted in order to do so – the far greater thing that we are avoiding is the fact of our magnificent love, that we are this – we are Love.
Dare we go there and accept this, and learn to bring the power of this love into every aspect of our lives? Now that is the question for us all…
Brilliantly said and exposed Alexis – “avoidance is our default setting”… Phew, now if we REALLY looked at this?? We would see that we are indeed masterful – with a higher degree of mastery than any elite sportsman or artisan we could imagine – at avoiding the truth of what we have been living, in all the myriad ways in which our lives are devoid of the love of the soul.
We are so masterful in fact, that we let ourselves think that the props we use to numb the deep ache for the absoluteness of the soul’s love in our lives… that they actually ‘do the trick’, and keep us happy even… All the while knowing that there is something deeper to be lived.
The depth to which I could appreciate Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the Student body for their willingness to break free of the comfort and show the world what life feels like without it – I won’t live long enough to exhaust this appreciation thats for sure. These days repetitive conversations grate on me like rubbing a cat the wrong way (up the back not down) and I do feel a tension that there is more within me to come out and more to life than what I am currently aware of. I rather feel this tension than the tension of holding in all those emotions and hurts and expectations from and for life to be a certain way to stay comfortably static.
“But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?” Living a life of comfort is something we have all lived in certain times or parts of our lives, but it is the opportunities to stop and feel what’s really going on by our actions and or movements, that we can stop and consider, what living life is really about. Its also great to note that life doesn’t run in a straight line, rather it flows up and down and this is where we learn and uncover what holds us back and what confirms and propels us forward. That is evolution and life lived in constant flow with the rhythm of who we are.
Kelly your comment caused me to ponder on whether we are living life or if life is living us?
Yes what I have been noting of late Alexis is exactly that. Are we moving with life and the rhythm and flow of our own connection to our bodies or are we pushing against the flow and moving in a way that holds us back and creates unease and tension. Life can either be a push or a surrender to the divine connection that holds us all.
Repetition does go hand in hand with comfort, but it has an air of function to it rather than a way of being. Repetition is about doing, whereas a rhythm in life is about being who you are in whatever your activity is.
Agreed Linda, in fact it’s a full time job!
When anything is ‘comfortable there is little incentive to question it’ – wow Alexis you have just explained the status quo to perfection.
Not only is there little incentive to question something when it’s comfortable but we actively look at getting ourselves into positions of comfort. What this translates to meaning is that we are all, looking en masse to get ourselves into holding patterns of stagnation, when all along the absolute jewels in life are hidden within the discomfort. If we all moved towards the situations that make us uncomfortable then we would free ourselves of the shackles of illusion in no time and realise that comfort is nothing but a lead albatross.
“Repetition goes hand in hand with comfort” there is definitely the safety of familiarity and that which does not challenge us to be more but keeps us playing small away from the powerhouses that we are.
This stood out to me today too Francisco. It is like building a wall around something and thinking it will be there forever, but it breaks down and crumbles if we don’t keep maintaining and keeping it solid and strong. We continually are running round each day keeping the wall as solid as possible conveniently not seeing that without the wall in the first place we would not be needing all the energy it takes to keep it up! Perhaps this is one of the keys to living a much fuller and grander life. We don’t need to do more per se, just simply allow what is not true to fall away
“Repetition goes hand in hand with comfort” is a great insight into the inertia of living in Middle England or any other middle, for that matter. Serge Benhayon presented on circulation energy during the Universal Medicine retreats this year and I can feel that we just keep regurgitating the same old, same old and keep treading water when we choose this type of existence.
Gabriele I am very aware of the repetition that exists in the way that we speak to each other. So often what we say comes from an automated place that lacks any freshness or ingredients from the present moment. We drag out responses from yesteryear and when something is said from yesterday it makes it even harder for another to respond with aliveness. On the other hand when we speak from our bodies in the present moment it makes it harder for another to pull out an automated response and so they are encouraged to also speak from their bodies in the present moment.
Well said Alexis and Gabriele – circulation energy is a great comfort to a great number. It is a form of superstitious protection to fend things off, but in fact it is a huge prison-house that only speaking from the body, as you say Alexis, can defeat.
This is great Alexis. The way you have expressed this so clearly communicates the absolute involution of comfort, for if we consider that we do the same things in the same way over and over again in comfort we could comfortably think we are at the very least staying put, when in actual fact we are effectively going backwards because the universe around us is constantly expanding and evolving.
Comfort certainly is a form of mummification; thank you Alexis for exposing the harm we inflict on ourselves, and others, when we fall into comfort. I loved reading about Middle England and the lifestyle it fostered, also your moves to move away from that comfort and security.
I too would come from what you would describe as a similar background. What I have noticed is that there is a strong push for comfort and security and for a period the drive to achieve this seems fulfilling but often there comes a point where there is a tension or a feeling of unsettlement and that there has to be more than this. I feel like we all know there is more to life than what we as a humanity have currently made it.
Kristy yes indeed we all do know that there is more than this because WE ARE MORE THAN THIS, more than this is WHO WE ARE.
Yes there are so many forms of comfort, even hard work can be comfort; the world is hell bent on being comfortable at any expense.That is our supposed goal in life, to be comfortable and the more comfort the better, the earlier we are able to retire the better. And how wrong or missing the point of life can we be as you say Alexis, there is no truth in comfort and no comfort in truth, so it is time to cut the comfort and get on with it.
This is really blowing the comfort out of the water. Comfort is trying to stand still in the constant pull of evolution. It is a very default setting for most of us, but it takes so much energy. Letting go of the hold of comfort is freeing the love we have inside, that wants nothing more than to rejoin with the oneness we come from.
‘ Letting go of the hold of comfort is freeing the love we have inside, that wants nothing more than to rejoin with the oneness we come from’, Benkt this is pure poetry to my heart.
I love how you point out that replacing strenuous gym with strenuous yoga and marijuana with meditation was what you believed to be better when actually it was just the same and a way to avoid feeling what you were really feeling.
I can feel how I have been trying to avoid mistakes and being ‘wrong’ by investing in being ‘right’ and how that causes anxiousness and is detrimental to my nervous system. And how devastating that is when I don’t get rewarded for being right!
Fumiyo I too have been very invested in not being ‘wrong’ and to an even greater extent I have also been invested in being ‘good’. It’s pretty incredible for me to now realise that both wrong and right and good and bad are simply arbitrary terms whose very loose translation seems to change from person to person and even more crazily can be determined by the mood of the person at the time!
I love what you have said here Alexis. The ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ thought paradigm is an integral part of the ‘Good’ illusion. It is almost shocking when one realises how invested we have been in this way of life, using the structure as a false marker of truth.
Lyndy the even crazier thing about ‘good’ and ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’ and ‘right’ is that they don’t actually have any structure, they are as solid as a house made out of ice cream! Truth on the other hand does not budge an inch, it simply stands as it has always done, acting like the immoveable beacon that it is.
Absolutely Alexis. These ideas/beliefs are constructs of our creation – ‘ice cream’ as you say, and made of ‘insubstantial fabric’ as Shakespeare says. Truth is and always will be.
Many of us would still think comfort is something you do to yourself if you’re feeling not that great or it’s something you need in a seat or a piece of clothing. The comfort that we are speaking of here is more in a life setting. You know when you are unhappy or feel life isn’t going anywhere but then you feel better or you do something like go on a holiday and it all feels different until you return or until something happens and you feel like you are back in the same hole. Comfort here is defined in a lifestyle, meaning that all the little choices you make to do certain things moves you to a point where you almost walk in the same circle, Monday is a drag, Wednesday we made it and thank god for Friday style of thing. By the way we live we can actually hold ourselves in a state of repeat, the date may tick over and we may look older, the world on the surface may change but we get the feeling of going around in circles. This is what we can call comfort, dealing with a day just as a day and not seeing where we have been or where we are going. Living life only because we have woken up and that’s just what we do. The world and history has always shown us there is more to life then just what’s shown in front of us, comfort is the thing that hide the more. We can walk ourselves around to keep ourselves deliberately blind, it’s a cruel thing we do to ourselves.
In these past years of attending presentations by Serge Benhayon, I have come to learn and to discover for myself through life itself, how there is a difference between the dullness of comfort and being well cared for. As our bodies need to be tenderly cared for and cherished, as does the being inside. But comfort can be when the body and the being are supplemented in to a dull state where nothing can be truly felt or expressed.
When I read the following paragraph again, this time I found myself laughing at how ridiculous we are: ‘I drank coffee to pep me up, I exercised strenuously to take the edge off my gnawing irritation, I ate sugar to rev me a little, I smoked marijuana to stifle my anger – oh, and my anger was to stifle my sadness, I had boyfriends to cover up my low self esteem, I overate to dull my awareness, I watched a lot of really crap telly to simply zone out and I partied hard in order to completely and utterly obliterate my ability to feel anything other than high.’ I myself did plenty of those things, but it is sheer craziness when you read it there in black and white. As you say Alexis this is considered ‘normal’. I was at the corner shop the other day and a bunch of blokes were talking about their beers in a deeply affectionate and ‘intimate’ way as if they were their most treasured thing. It was startling! And yet I know that I myself have done this with music and other things . . . which is in fact exactly the same.
So many pearls of wisdom in this blog, this one really stood out for me today “the Truth was forever inside me but comfort lay like a blanket of fog over the top of truth, obscuring my ability to feel it clearly.”. I have started to clear the fog of comfort and am relishing in the truth that I see. And the less tension in my body as I re-connect to truth.
“Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.” we choose the easy way out in order to avoid evolution and yet at the same time defending that which keeps us imprisoned in being less and far away from the truth of who we are.
Francisco, we fight tooth and nail to defend our chosen ways of comfort, lest we be exposed for the choices that we are making to dumb life down to the most basic, and I would add barbaric, levels that we have settled for.
So true, Linda, that comfort is in fact exhausting to maintain while being open and engaging in learning and expanding one’s awareness is life-enhancing even though it can be uncomfortable.
Great exposé, Alexis, of the paradox that what we are conditioned to aspire to as being ‘good for us’ is in fact harmful as it suppresses and dulls our true capacity. Because we innately know this but do not know how, or have the confidence to extricate ourselves, we indulge it activities and behaviours to not feel the pain and suffering of not living our potential, thereby allowing and perpetuating the pattern.
‘Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.’ Well said and very true Alexis, we settle for so much less than we are capable of and create a comfy nest for ourselves that offers no evolution or true connection with ourselves or others.
I also have lived a very comfortable life but always felt very uncomfortable knowing that something essential was missing. On the very first occasion I attended a presentation by Serge Benhayon at Universal Medicine I knew I had found the key that would show me my way to my true essence. Much of it has been very uncomfortable as I observed and let go of the protective layers of comfort that I realised were the cause of my discomfort.
So many types of comfort we can resort to, anything we choose to do, to not feel what we are truly feeling could be called comfort.
Jill it’s so true what you say about there being ‘So many types of comfort we can resort to, anything we choose to do, to not feel what we are truly feeling could be called comfort’, which when you look at it, describes most of the activities that we have chosen to fill our days with. If we were to go ‘cold turkey’ and pull out everything that we ate, drank, smoked, injected, ingested and engaged in that had a numbing quality to it, then we would be left in a state of sheer panic and utter destitute anguish! The trick is to gently work on the reasons why we are using things to numb ourselves and then what we find is that, over time, our need to use then gently evaporates.
Kapow – what a blog. “But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?” Imagine if we had an index for evolution as opposed to an index for poverty? Would we find that the most ‘privileged’ of us were actually destitute? This goes a long way to explaining why people with seemingly great lives commit suicide or live dosed up on antidepressants, drugs or coffee.
Comfort used in this sense of the word is a state and way of living that we constantly re-introduce and pull into our lives to assuage the pain, guilt, hurt and contraction that we carry around life. It is a Linus blanket that we carry around and cover our pain with. All we need to do is uncover the hurts and let them out into the Light of the Sun to be seen and dealt with and then comfort will no longer be needed or sought for.
I don’t really know much about England, but it sounds like you guys are really good at getting stuff done and not being lazy!
True Lydia, and yet there can be great ‘comfort’ in all the ‘doing’. Comfort is a ‘go-to’ place to attempt to stop feel the tension and hurt of life as we live it.
It is amazing that an abusive way of living has been used to dull the uncomfortable comfort we are in. When I first heard the word comfort as applied to how we lived it did not make any sense to me at the time, that my continual mulling in my head was a way of comfort. I have now come to understand any behaviour that we indulge in to not feel our pain and hurts is comfort.
Ariana what you share about being selective in where we bring evolution and love, is a very good point. Bringing those qualitites into my family relationships was incredibly difficult and it was met with what at times felt like forceful resistance. I can understand anyone who chooses comfort over evolution, as evolution really does shake things up BUT and it really is a massive ‘but’ the rewards for bringing evolution and love to any-thing are immeasurable whereas the effects of not bringing those things to areas of our lives always, always involves pain.
So many great facets explained and expressed here Alexis of the so called normal life that we as society use to stay in comfort or in a state of limbo, where we then don’t have to challenge any of our own or group behaviours, but to only think that is normal to live abnormally in disregard, disconnection and abuse to ourselves and others.
We can gradually let go the species of ‘comfort’ that you are speaking about Alexis in your excellent blog, by becoming more of who we truly are – and doing whatever it takes to clear the old and surrender to our true essence. When not living in our truth and essence we are so unsettled, and so ‘uncomfortable’ that we seek comfort instead, as a way of feeling secure in the world. The only way to feel secure in the world is to live in the world fully but not be ‘of it’.
Yes comfort we feel is our friend but in truth it is our old foe that we have carried around for aeons and can be hard to shake off. Because comfort has been a long held pattern in our lives, it feels like a huge weight to lift off. When we peel back the layers of comfort bit by bit and see why we use them, we begin to reconnect to our natural essence and the real magic of living life and learning starts to clear our way. Clearing comfort is like cleaning your home. It may take a little time and patience, but when it is complete the space feels amazing.
This is a great point Alexis ‘ We are all getting pulled up to constantly evolve, that is the natural order of life, therefore to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve.’ Interesting how we choose comfort over evolution when it is obviously hurting us, the rise in illness and disease is proof enough that something needs to shift so we can embrace what is on offer equally for us all.
Rereading your blog Alexis I am reminded of the fact that ‘comfort lays like a blanket of fog that masks the truth’. I am aware of the times I lapse into comfort and my responsibility to acknowledge the truth and kick out comfort so that I, and humanity, can evolve.
Brilliant. An excellent expose of what we’ve resigned to as a whole humanity. The exhaustive strain of quicksand masked as comfort while we miss out on the glory of life when it is lived in love.
It’s interesting to consider what comfort means to us and how that looks in relation to everyone else as well. I certainly don’t think life needs to be about suffering, which some may think is the opposite of comfort, but instead what if ditching comfort is more about living to our full potential for the benefit of all…
“But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?”
Absolutely Cherise this is such a revealing question…….
For I can see that as soon as we make it about evolution then by nature of this being true we then have to take greater responsibility for our choices, lifestyles and relationships – money/assets can smooth over the parts we don’t want to feel or deal with.
It’s so true what you say, that choosing to not be aware does not ever actually change the fact that we are aware and do indeed feel all of our choices and the truth of what is going on. I could read your blog over and over, because I find it very pertinent to any stage or circumstance in life, if there is an ongoing pull for us to evolve then there is never a ‘time out’ or off switch from this .. and therefore to find ourselves in comfort at any point is rather uncomfortable!
Cherise the discomfort of my comfort is so familiar to me that it actually feels comfortable!
There is nothing wrong with a comfortable life per say. That is not to be judged. The problem is that in selling out to the illusion that life is all about security, getting ahead, family, a good job, or whatever your version of comfort is, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to discover that life has a much deeper pulse – a pulse that is there to be felt, but unlikely to be so whilst-ever we bury ourselves in the concerns of everyday life.
Great subject to bring up and expose, being comfortable and well off was certainly the aim for me and it is a hard consciousness to shake. I keep thinking I will be able to do this or do that if only I had a bit more money.
We waste so much time, money and resources keeping us in this numbed out state of comfort and is comfort ever really satisfying?
Not a bad suggestion Brendan, only problem is, very few people would be able to get away from the telly in order to join in the discussion!
The term Middle England reminds me of middle earth and the ideal of having a comfortable life (that being the holy grail of everything you could ever want). But comfort is overrated, and I would rather have purpose, aliveness and enthusiastic joy any day!
Comfort or evolution, comfort keeps us stuck, numb and small, ‘Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.’
This is indeed considered normal for a lot of people, “I drank coffee to pep me up, I exercised strenuously to take the edge off my gnawing irritation, I ate sugar to rev me a little, I smoked marijuana to stifle my anger – oh, and my anger was to stifle my sadness, I had boyfriends to cover up my low self esteem, I overate to dull my awareness, I watched a lot of really crap telly to simply zone out and I partied hard in order to completely and utterly obliterate my ability to feel anything other than high.” Why is it that we accept this as normal, when clearly it is not a loving way to be?
I have never heard the term ‘Middle England’ before but sure do recognise what it means, and how much of a struggle it is to keep things the same, and actually at the detriment of myself and everyone else on the planet. What you have described here in this blog unfortunately would be considered a very normal way to live, but maybe deep down there is a distant wish that there could or should be more to life, but when everything around you is telling you that you are doing well where you are it is easy to see how people get stuck in the comfort.
Comfort is such a strange thing. Now matter how uncomfortable the situation might be, we often opt in for the comfort of discomfort. Sometimes it takes guts to be completely honest and say ‘Actually, we have screwed up’.
I love the bit about the inertia of comfort… why make tracks to get out of it when it is, well, comfy? The apparently perfect picture of my ‘middle england’ upbringing belied such abuse and neglect – the most insidious of it being the pretence and cover up that denied the space to talk about what was really going on. It has been an incredible process to break through this, coming out into the imperfect pastures of responsibility, honesty, learning and a developing relationship with truth.
Chasing fast cars, big houses and ideal marriages in posh neighbourhoods might look all shiny on the outside, but on the inside never quite live up to the image we so desperately want to create.
For me, Universal Medicine held the key to awakening in me the understanding that I have a choice, live a purposeful life rather than a comfortable one.
Great exposé of the irony of Middle England – believing that fulfilling its ideals will bring fulfillment in life but in fact results in the opposite.
This is a very insightful sharing Alexis. I also know the comfort of not moving out of my comfort zone and how that holds me back from evolving. I find my comfort is also in not speaking up some times when I feel to, yet at other times I speak out, but it is with indignation.
I know “Middle England” so well Alexis, it is a very comfortable place to be and on the whole people leave you alone. It can be easy to think we are moving forward, but the truth is we just choose something else that is within our comfort range. It is only through the reflection of Serge Benhayon and Simone Benhayon that I have realised the extent of the comfortable life I had created and how crippling this can be.
I have really enjoyed all your analogies of what living in comfort is like Alexis – struggling through quicksand, walking in a wind tunnel, mummification. When we choose to come back to our true state the body feels so light, so in repose even when really working. One of life’s great burdens is actually ‘comfort’ . . . and I am not saying here that one should not have a dishwasher or a warm fluffy could doona (duvet)!
Comfort is a mummification, and I would ask why do we choose comfort over not only truth, but joy, exuberance, vitality and a purposeful life. The answer is simple, because we don’t know there is another way, but now thanks to Universal Medicine we do know there is another way.
Alexis this is awesome and this whole blog backs it up completely – ‘Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.’ – When we get to feel our comforts and start to be honest that we are totally surrounded by them, then this is a great starting point of living our life to the full abundance that is possible.
‘It is a misconception to think that living a life of comfort is actually easy – it takes a huge amount of effort to give the appearance that nothing much is changing.’ Alexis this is so true the more we live in comfort the more exhausted we become, because denying our truth takes a huge amount of effort.
Great blog Alexis, it took me some time to realise how many of our own medicines we have in order to cope with life, once I truly understood this it was easier to start letting go of the things I used to make life more acceptable when in truth I was actually just numbing myself to get by.
A great point about the ‘medicines’ we use to cope with life, many of mine needing to get stronger and more frequently administered to quell the unease of living a lie. Yes to wean myself off the medicines (be that coffee, alcohol, shopping, social distraction…) means periods of acute re-sensitisation but it is a no-brainer for me now in terms of wanting to live alive and alert rather than numb and disconnected.
‘Comfort is a form of mummification’ – I LOVE this – it’s the perfect image for comfort and how when you’re feeling great and comfortable slowing it starts to become totally restrictive of all your movements. The fact is is very difficult to move forward when you are comfortable in your life, because why would you? It’s definitely time to ponder where I’m comfortable 🙂
‘But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?’ A very good question Christopher! It is a question that can stir up the most ‘uncomfortable’ feeling of life shifting beneath our feet, of parameters that were employed for safety being blown away, of indulgences exploded before our very eyes. In fact it is a question they may get us in a lot of trouble. But let’s go for it! It’s the only way to go. To work against universal expansion is nuts.
What if life is not about comfort but about evolution – that is huge if you stop and really consider what this is being presented. The level of comfort that I used to live with was very high and now looking back after attending Universal Medicine I can see how I have been letting go of this and feeling the deep sense that I am here to evolve and be All of who I Am with out any reduction what so ever.
It is only through honest appraisal that we can know the truth of what is really happening to us and in the world at large. Any ‘averting of the gaze’ opens us to a comfortable illusion.
This article has opened my eyes to Middle England all around me and within myself. I even heard the term on the radio this week. I see people living from one good meal to the next. I see holidays in nice places but little communication. I hear discussions about politics with a sense of it’s ok because the rising tide hasn’t reached them. I grew up like this and the emptiness of living disconnected with myself and other’s felt awful. So now when faced with comfort I can choose to continually feed it- an energy that is toxic to my body and the world- or I can be connected and allow a loving flow through my body. Being honest about how deathly comfort is and not numb out from this is allowing me to step away and no longer pretend it is relatively harmless.
The majority of people in this world are decent enough. So why are we seemingly dominated by corruption and evil at all points? Simple, because most people are equally given up on life being any different, and determined as a result to look after their own at expense of everything else.
Comfort holds us stuck, checked out and numb in a continual cycle of struggle fighting the natural pull towards evolution. No wonder we are exhausted.
When we are in a theatre of war or when we are very poor or very ill a life of comfort seems a very big and desirable aspiration. Once we have that life of comfort, we realise that that is not it.
Becoming more aware of the choices we make, how they affect ourselves and others opens up a whole world of learning.
Alexis, I can very much relate to what you have written, having grown up in ‘Middle England’, seeing that on the outside it all looks rosy and a good place to be, but on the inside there are relationships that are struggling; lack of purpose; lack of self worth; drugs and alcohol, the truth is that comfort is not a great place to be.
This blog really calls out comfort for what it is, a way to delay the evolution that we are all being called to.
Yes, it is a missed opportunity.
I know when I have a repetitive conversation something doesn’t feel right to be repeating the same story in the same way because nothing is learnt. Repetition doesn’t feel right when it’s done in a certain quality to keep a status quo, trying to stay put and keep everything the same even though life is and has moved on. But repeating gentle and loving actions feels really good and spreads out in other areas of life, and certainly doesn’t want to remain static but grow and expand.
Well said Alexis, no truth in comfort
I struggled living or trying to fit in with life as it was around me, I was drawn out of myself, looking outside for understanding created doubt and self sabotage. I got comfortable thinking that I was ‘different’. Coming back to trusting my inner connection, has allowed me to really feel the qualities that we all share, underneath the choices and behaviours that are but a thin veil over the top of our true selves. I see more in common that was, is not, I can feel our equality, divinity and connections. This connection with others has come from an openness to connect within.
Great exploration at the term ‘middle England’, I was born in England, but not so middle, but the same comfort of the familiar was something I repeated again and again….it does not matter if it all looks ‘good’ or we have chaos in our lives every day, it can be our comfort. Life is for evolution, learning to be more of who we truly are and learning to express it, anything else is a perpetual prison and denial of true essence. It is the illusion of security as the purpose of life, is this really what we are here for? I would say no, we are grand, divine and precious beings, with a true purpose to express and return to this knowing of ourselves.
You’ve nailed this Alexis: “Comfort is a form of mummification…” One that we have wilfully chosen, and one that we have every opportunity to unravel ourselves from.
We are not here to numb ourselves from life, but rather, to bring our all to it. It is a continuous, grand and amazing process, to be willing to see and unbind ourselves from all the comforts which have held us back – and acknowledge that yes, we are truly so much more than we have by and large accepted.
“what if life is about evolution?” Asking this question alone, turns the world and what predominantly drives us, on its head Alexis.
What if our lives are not about securing all that makes us comfortable, that we may then ‘rest’ in its apparent safety net? What if, yes, we can be solidly committed and responsible in our temporal lives, but there is yet a far greater and deeper responsibility – that of being open to all that is truly love, and not shirking from exposing that which is not…
This is a marker I do my own best to live by also – does what is comfortable and that which has been decreed ‘normal’ truly hit the mark, when love is our foundation? Does the glass of wine and its attendant overload of sugar and poison to my body truly confirm love? Or does it sabotage my body and being, that I remain far less than who I truly am – thereby affecting everyone and everything around me?
These are baby steps evolutionary-wise, but if we truly want to look at the mess of our health, our relationships and what is going on underneath the apparent ‘comfortable surface’ of so many lives, there is a call to responsibly face what needs to be faced, and why we have let things be as they are.
Comfort can come in the form of misery or milkshakes but a sure sign that you are taken is when you don’t feel challenged but nestled into a mush of your own warm and murky mess.
Sarah it’s a tricky one because there are also people who use challenge to stay in comfort, particularly physical challenges and work challenges. Having the ‘next challenge’ can be a fantastic way to avoid feeling the deeper parts of ourselves that are bubbling to come up.
Comfort keeps us in disconnection from the natural flow of Life that surrounds us – To chose to remain in comfort, we are going against all that we are impulsed to be and to express and against our known Truth.
It’s interesting that the english language is quite unveiling with the term: ‘to be well-off’. It exposes that in truth you are off, when you are well-off!
Ha ha so true Felix. Off all right.
BAM….and the truth be told. I love how you don’t hold back in this telling and uncovering of truth and comfort. This line leapt out at me today – “There is nothing that I have listed here that is unusual, in fact all of this is considered very normal for people who consider that they have a comfortable way of life – how else do we maintain the facade of comfort?” If we took away our ‘medications’ and had to feel the uncomfortableness of comfort, I would hazard a guess that we (or most of us) would change pretty quick smart.
‘But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution? Ah, now that changes… everything!’ So true Alexis, how that completely turns around how we may see our purpose, everything that we think we are here for, and everything we are doing.
What struck me from reading your blog Alexis is that discomfort can be used in the same way as comfort. Some of us get stuck in repeating the same old patterns of discomfort and use them to avoid feeling, looking at the truth and evolving. Comfort and discomfort can be viewed as on opposite ends of the same spectrum, both being “… forms of mummification” or as I experience them, ‘numbification’.
This is really beautiful to read, the comfort is what needs to be dissolved. I feel it is the comfort that keeps us in continuous struggle, although we may not see it as such. It is the source of our constant want to check out, to numb our bodies, as we are not made to stay stagnant. We are here to evolve.
‘Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.’ When one opens themselves to the prospect that there is ‘more’ you begin to feel/live love, understanding and expansiveness far beyond what you thought was ever possible it is then that the absolute tragedy of having lived in comfort and reduction becomes very apparent.
When we live lives that are comfortable, in the sense that all our needs are met and beyond, it is super important to not ever take this for granted and also to never ever forget that not everyone lives like this and has the quality of lives that we do. Purely from a practical and temporal perspective, we must realise that those of us who live as we do are very blessed – blessed to have a roof over our heads, blessed to have food in our belly every day, blessed to have the clothes we choose to wear. However, there is another level we can take this to, and this is the blessing of the quality of interactions and relationships many of us have – the warmth of our relationship with our husbands and wives, children, parents, grandparents, etc and animals too. It is this we need to stop and take stock of, and realise that not everyone has the warmth in their relationships – they may have sorted the practicalities of life, but their relationships are lacking. And so for those of us that have the blessing of both, it lies as a responsibility for us to reflect this to every one around us, to remind everyone of what is possible. If we stay in comfort of what we have and hold, then we lose the purpose of life and lose the purpose of why we are here.
Henrietta although I understand absolutely that most would consider that they are ‘blessed to have a roof over their heads, blessed to have food in their bellies every day and blessed to have the clothes that they choose to wear’, had I lost of all of these things, then I would have seen it as a equal blessing, (granted probably not at the time but at some point in my evolution).
This is so true Alexis – all the things that ‘befall’ us are indeed a blessing of sorts, it is simply for us to see it as such at a given moment in time. All that happens is constellated to happen, a balance of sorts in the big wheel of karma, and how we handle this and how we perceive this can change our lives completely.
Middle England is quite endearing if you think about it, with all the past times, hobbies, creations, socials, clubs, etc… Middle England does a good job of settling into life. But as this blog implies, this is all simply a ‘comfortable’ life that doesn’t truly look at or experience absolute reality. By not embracing reality we miss out on the fullness and grandness of life that is available if we were to deal with reality. Comfort is a blanket that smothers a deeper awareness.
There is strong pull towards seeking a comfortable life free of any trials or tribulations or challenges, naturally so, but if I look back on my life the times when I have grown the most, developed as a person the most have been the times when I was the most uncomfortable or challenged. Everything that happens is an opportunity to learn and grow.
I suppose the thing about living in so much comfort that life becomes a lie, is how exhausting and draining this can be – I know because I have lived it in full. What strikes me most about this kind of comfort is the dullness and, the unwillingness to ask for more. It’s like you are not allowed to ask for more because you have so much already, and more might seem greedy or ungrateful, or perhaps even unrealistic. What I am learning from the Benhayon Family however, is that there is always more because we have a soul that we can endlessly re-connect to and deepen our relationship with.
Alexis the point you make about trying something new “We may kid ourselves that we are branching out by trying something new, but often that ‘new something’ has the same flavour as pretty much everything else that we’ve always done.” is really pertinent. For example watching the young adults from the UAE fly there cars to London to race around in the summer time is perhaps considered something new, but is in the same flavour of what they do at home. Equally it was not until I came to Universal Medicine did I understand that its about the quality of energy first, if you do something different in the same energy it’s just a different version. Yet for a true change, you change the care and quality you are with yourself and it changes everything. That has been my experience.
Your analysis of comfort is sharp and precise like a razor’s edge – “there is an inertia built into comfort that means that extracting ourselves from comfort has the same momentum as running in quicksand”. It is easy to get used to things just ticking over with the occasional drama thrown it for good measure and plenty of medication as in beer, wine, prescription drugs and soft drinks to name but a few of our socially accepted pacifiers.
There is this paradox of how our bodies are our way back to the joy and love our essence is full of, yet when we first drop out of comfort, what we first feel may be quite unpleasant but so necessary so it can surface and be let go of. Without this first choice to free ourselves from comfort, we are stuck in what Alexis correctly states to be a default that keeps the unpleasantness in. A nasty state of affairs but in no way necessary.
Having been in comfort for so long we become invested in the choices we have made to not choose to live by the truth we know and it is our pride which holds us there. Crazy when we are desperately trying to ignore the fact that we know that we are in misery despite the ‘comfort’ of our surroundings.
Sometimes the fear of going into the unknown and walking outside our comfort zone can become all a bit too much. As a creature of habit we like to know what is ahead of us and how we can work ourselves around it. This is one all to familiar and is an obstacle that I have been working on. In the sense that the more I live knowing that everything is energy and that I am no different, to surrender to this and trust the Divine plan and God you have nothing what so ever that you are ‘working around’. Being the grandness of Love that I am consistently surrendering and allow this to unfold in my life is one that requires a loving dedication and commitment to feeling me and the energy around me.
This exposes the impact of our pictures of how life should be, and how these pictures only succeed in separating us and dividing humanity – a very uncomfortable place to be when we innately know we are all equal and deeply connected.
Middle England is a bit like sitting on the fence – you are neither a part of the usual struggles and issues the world faces, but neither is the way you live evolving you or others to change the status quo of the world, and therefore you just get on with life in a comfortable rut, and yet will never see it for the rut it is.
The notion that everything is alright for us because we are not subject to any of the horrendous acts and events affecting other parts of humanity is a total illusion for we are all connected; one body, and what affects one of us affects us all inextricably. Comfort is the layer around us which keeps us shut off to this, which is needed to take away the feeling that we are choosing ignorance over our awareness and which perpetuates the creation of such an illusion.
“We are all getting pulled up to constantly evolve, that is the natural order of life, therefore to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve”.
As you have expressed Alexis comfort is like a blanket of fog mummifying, dulling and hiding our true inner wisdom, evolution and purpose.
When we are in our comfort of what ‘works’ then you don’t get to see that you are in comfort at all. One of many lines in this blog made me wake up and become even more alert than normal – “Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.” – this is very sobering because it is so true. When we can expose every element of comfort then we are embracing our evolution in full – this is Magical and very Empowering. To be on it about the comfort that we are holding onto is essential, can be seen as hard work but once you are free from them you would never even consider why you would want to go back to the comfort that sucks us dry.
Middle England is a great way to describe the place of comfort we seek out in life – the place we can settle and not be asked to grow and evolve.
‘What adds to our idea that comfort is a goal of life is that we compare ourselves to the majority of the world’s population who are struggling with the day to day basics such as food and water and we feel very privileged and lucky to be living the way that we do…’ What a trick … and yes, we have to be grateful for this , our ‘good’ fortune.
“Comfort is a form of mummification,…”
I grew up in the middle class and for a long time my life was so normal to me that I could not detect the comfort in it. I just accepted that there are some people better off than others without asking too many questions, after all I had enough personal problems to keep myself busy with, so who had the time to bother with other peoples devastation and look too far beyond their own four walls?
The interesting part is that the moment I started to truly care for myself and others, most problems disappeared and freed up lots of capacity to bring more purpose into my life and offer support to others.
Repetition of events, movements, behaviours without awareness, observation and love, become very stagnant and stale indeed. We repeat because we enjoyed that sensation once and want to get it again – little realising that the quality of who we truly are is actually the great enjoyment, the big daddy of all enjoyments,and in that way we never have to repeat anything but just expand and grow.
It is so true that when people are comfortable there is no motivation to question the harm that may come from settling for less than what is possible… yet we deny ourselves and others so much from living seemingly safe in our comfort bubble refusing to live the magic available to us outside of it.
“Fog of comfort” is such a great description. We have a choice to surrender to the fog or the truth. The truth is always within reach but by creating more fog / comfort, we can pretend that we can’t see it.
‘Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.’ It is extraordinary that we have allowed life to become reduced, literally flattened, from the magnificence that it is. If we for one moment feel ‘ordinary’ then we are in a reduced state and this we have come to imagine is comfortable. But it is extremely uncomfortable.
“It is a misconception to think that living a life of comfort is actually easy – it takes a huge amount of effort to give the appearance that nothing much is changing.” I love the truth in the irony of this. When I am in comfort there is definitely a tension felt and if this is allowed to continue a stagnation occurs which promotes the inertia you talk of.
If we ever manage to sort out the dire issues on our planet like constant wars, massive levels of illness and disease etc, then we will have the problems of Middle England – what to do when things go well.
Re-defining what we mean by ‘doing well’ would go a long way to supporting us to get more honest about where we are at.
I used to think I had made it in life when I could a ‘comfort’ level, and most people live this way never questioning it, but most of the time you still feel empty and miserable. Meeting Serge Benhayon and attending Universal Medicine presentations changed this for me greatly and now when I hit comfort I can feel the tension of this and the stagnation in my body. Evolution is our natural and true way forward and the more we take steps to live this truth we support and inspire many others who are drifting behind to also choose this way.
“When something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave”. Achieving ‘comfort’ is more a goal in life that I too had. I now see that staying in comfort is like walking through muddy waters, keeping me in the same place, there may be a little movement slowly, but not much. Evolution requires us to step outside of our comfort zone.
The illusionary life of ‘comfort’ is swamped in boredom. An existence with no true life or vitality.. from there we can never appreciate the amazing simplicity and multidimensionality of life as it truly can be.
Interestingly my comfortable life was characterized by excitement and stimulation.
Take the smokescreen of comfort out of our lives and we are exposed to and inspired by (if we choose) the glory that is life and the devastation that we have created by choosing to be ‘blind’ (comfy).
It goes without saying that there is no true evolution in repetition – yet as a human species we seem to think we have come far in our evolution.
“…when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.” Therein lies the ultimate problem. When things are SEEMINGLY good there is little desire to give it up, yet living in comfort as you say is living in reductionism. Not living this way in the knowing that there is something far grander in the forever evolving and expanding is certainly worth investigating, considering and even giving it a go!
“comfort lay like a blanket of fog over the top of truth,” I love this line. It speaks so deeply to the malaise I can still fall into from time to time, thinking that life is getting better because it is more comfortable. I love that you have made life about evolution.
I recognise a lot of the choices you speak about Alexis, I would use certain behaviours and food to numb the feelings, but they always come back, in truth we are not made to live in comfort, it should never be the goal but instead to evolve. What does evolving mean? For me it means how I interact with others, whether I make life only about me or am considerate of everyone in the moves I make.
“…when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave…” Absolutely Alexis… the ability to question and see the whole picture, not just a part, is affected by comfort. It is our ability to question that offers one the opportunity to ‘step outside the square’, to evolve, to make choices and to see the big picture of life.
Alexis, Thank you. An expose on the mainstream way of living life. When we get honest with how painful living ‘comfortable’ is, we then begin to change how we move and this completely shakes up life. It also returns us to ourselves and an amazing strength that we have within, that then guides us in life. This is true power and presence.
In reflecting on this blog a little earlier I realised just how much we simply accept in the world around for what we are told it is rather than what we truly know. We would prefer not to ask the questions and to just go along with the story. It is this apathy which make the masses complicit to the harm within humanity.
“But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?” The question you pose here Alexis is very revealing, and you have uncovered a minefield in terms of what it means to be comfortable. When this word is deeply examined there are so many layers to it, and it is so ingrained in so many that it can be very exposing to realise the levels of comfort we have chosen to avoid living truly responsible lives.
I have memories from as far back as is possible to remember of choosing to hold back that last little bit. Never shine too bright, never try too hard, never aim too high – what if people get jealous, what if you get disappointed, what if you fall – it has always been deemed do enough to be comfortable and get by, and the idioms “if it is not broke don’t fix it” and “leave well alone” were common place. But reflecting on this I notice it is all about self, not much responsibility and love of or desire to serve humanity. I have started to see life differently.
‘But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?’ – A profound question that is offered for everyone to ponder deeply. It is interesting how we from early age are taught the opposite, that we should seek comfort – and history shows that we keep making the same choices over and over again.
It’s interesting how the ‘comfort’ we aspire to in ‘middle England’ is not actually comfortable at all. Comfort speaks of stagnation and resistance, which can never feel truly comfortable.
Brilliantly summed up by the author – one of the key perils of meditation is that it simply numbs us to not feel, and we buy into this thinking it’s doing us good, yet feeling is the key to knowing……but not many people are aware of this. Although this article is not primarily about meditation it sums this fact up so well.
There is nothing comfortable about comfort…. spot on. Our bodys are screaming for us to get this, yet we are slow to recognise it. The dulling we go into is extreme, in order to not feel.
The breaking down of what is normal and comfortable comes from expressing what is really going on. Thank you Alexis for this. Everyone feels it and normal is all we do to stay ok with it despite what we feel.
This really brings home the truth of self-medication being used in order to not feel, and dull our awareness down as much as possible.
“I replaced strenuous gym work with strenuous yoga, thinking that I was bettering myself, oblivious to the fact that I was replacing one medication for another. I replaced marijuana with meditation, again thinking that I was doing something better and missing the fact that they both served the same purpose and that was to prevent me from feeling what I was feeling”.
“The Truth was forever inside me but comfort lay like a blanket of fog over the top of truth, obscuring my ability to feel it clearly…” A brilliant description Alexis of how comfort keeps one from seeing, feeling, knowing truth and even questioning the status quo…
It’s interesting to feel that comfortable isn’t actually very comfortable at all when we feel into it. It’s a distraction and denial covering something up that we don’t want to feel, or ‘parking’ something, putting it aside because we don’t want to deal with it. Although it feels uncomfortable, it’s great to see through it and expose the truth of comfort to break this pattern, thank you Alexis.
When things go well but we don’t do what is now needed, then it is unpleasant and uncomfortable over time. When things go well and we very much appreciate that and are open to what is next – Heaven!
I can feel the stagnation within “Middle England” that comes with the arrogance that life is cracked, especially if people have gone to “good” schools and so on, but underneath burying the feeling that all is not quite right, overriding it, simply ignoring it or in denial of it!
“We are all getting pulled up to constantly evolve, that is the natural order of life, therefore to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve.” What you share with this line Alexis, does makes so much sense to me as I do feel in my body a kind of a struggle, as in putting an effort in place to keep my life as it is and in that I do resist what is constantly being asked of me, to become more of what I innately know I truly am.
The man in the wind tunnel is a great way to highlight the fact of our residence to the natural evolution that the universe is going through and of which we are a part. Science has confirmed that the Universe is constantly expanding, and, since we are an integral part of this, we must expand and evolve too. The huge amount of energy we use up trying to keep things stuck in the status quo is phenomenal, and explains the plague proportions of the current disease of exhaustion.
Well said Lyndy! We do have a unsupportive habit of resisting our own evolution, but the reality is that we are given everything we need and more to make it an experience that does not have to be that difficult. It is the resistant choices we make that leads to the plague proportions of illness and disease. It it time for us to realise that evolution as you have so beautifully said, it is a part and parcel of our life here on earth and beyond. Evolution never ceases, as it is the way we expand the universe together.
“Repetition goes hand in hand with comfort”. This line stood out for me, as lately I have been discovering and appreciating the purpose of repetition. I find that if I bring all of my awareness to a repeated movement, there is nothing the same about it. The physical movement may be the same but what I feel and become aware of is different each time. This makes it delightful to stay present with my body when I am doing something I have done many times before to see what else is there to feel.
The man in a wind tunnel appears to go nowhere but is working really hard to stay put. We do need to work really hard in order to not change as the universal constellations move on and pull us to evolve. Like a stretched rubber band, this must get even stronger as we fall further behind as years go by. This resistance creates a lot of tension, which requires even more socially acceptable medication to drown out our awareness.
Middle England is pretty much everywhere these days – even the hobo has his area of comfort which, though it might appear to be discomfort to others, is comfortable for him because he doesn’t have to be responsible and can just live a selfish existence pleasing himself. Feeling ‘comfortable’ actually does take ‘a considerable amount of effort’.
Alexis, this blog exposes comfort for what it is: a ‘façade’, ‘like a blanket of fog over the top of truth’. It’s hard to see through the fog and it’s so great to have the headlights of Universal Medicine to show us that there is a way through if we are willing to go there.
‘Middle England’ seems to be a very comfortable place, and one I know personally. It is set up for us not to worry about others but at the same time be slightly humble because we don’t have it all. But we have let this position make us lazy – we’re OK to not take responsibility for what is going on in the world and as long as my bubble is OK then I don’t need to look outside it. At least that is what I used to think of life before I began to study with Universal Medicine and was presented with the fact that I have a massive opportunity to break the norm, to be aware and in the world and not stay in comfort
Ha Alexis, I see I have avoided reading this for a week! Middle England definitely describes my past as well, being comfortable in comfort, never even contemplating that life is about evolution. It is interesting to feel how we can delay too : “Getting out of comfort is not easy: there is an inertia built into comfort that means that extracting ourselves from comfort has the same momentum as running in quicksand.” I can feel how the truth is nothing changes in comfort, we repeat the cycle with the same comfort energy.
‘Repetition goes hand in hand with comfort….’ There is a constant impulse for things to change and in truth nothing stays the same as the energetic configuration of all things changes with time however when we do not keep up with these impulse we are in delay. We attempt to ignore and not follow the impulses we receive which in effect means we require more ‘comfort’ in our surroundings to offset the ‘discomfort’ from not living according to our true nature and going with the flow of our natural evolution back to our one truth.
When we have chosen comfort in the past it becomes part of every choice and decision we make until such time as a choice is made to be in connection to truth.
“We may kid ourselves that we are branching out by trying something new, but often that ‘new something’ has the same flavour as pretty much everything else that we’ve always done.” – the activity may look quite different but it’s the intention or energy making the choice to do it that may be the same. Going from partying hard to exercising hard may look like a healthier option and be celebrated as being a ‘good change’ but if the underlying reason for doing either of these activities isn’t look at then it’s just a different flavour ice cream…but it’s still ice cream!
By distracting ourselves with things like alcohol, TV, drugs, emotional relationships, food and so forth we seemingly mask the affect/impact that living comfort-ably has on our bodies, however if we live this way there comes a time when a stop moment – perhaps illness and disease – is needed to show us what we’re really doing to our bodies.
I love how you’ve exposed the characteristics of comfort. That people may make changes seemingly for the better but if anything were to truly challenge the status quo established then there is huge resistance – like people espousing the good in charity but on the condition that their status remains unchallenged. I can feel this in myself, I can make changes to better my life but ask me to pull out all the stops I know are required to deliver truth and love in all I do, I drag my feet. This exposes the lack of truth and love in even my ‘good’ choices.
“Comfort is a form of mummification”. This expresses well how stifling comfort is. For lifetime after lifetime, we have been seeking comfort as the pinnacle of life, yet by doing so we well and truly trap ourself in ideals, beliefs and a way of life that rejects the natural evolution and expansion offered by life.
Thank you Alexis, for so clearly exposing the effort needed to stay in comfort. There is also ‘middle Australia’ and I can relate to everything you have written here. We might think we are rebelling or choosing a different path, but it is really more of the same until we wake up and take a really honest look at ourselves and how we are truly feeling. This is not comfortable, but we are so worth the effort in order to experience the steadiness and power that comes with learning to love oneself and everyone.
Connecting to the inner essence within that we just allowed as children is key… The ease, the joy, the being in the present moment is super powerful and most would get to enjoy this at some stage in our childhood. Seems crazy that we get so caught up in the temporal world that we instantly with out even questioning shut down our light and joy. Returning back to our original divine source is exactly where we want to be – Our Natural Self.
‘I have spent many years feeling what is commonly considered as ‘comfortable’. However what I now know is that feeling ‘comfortable’ actually took a considerable amount of effort because my body did not feel naturally comfortable at all. So true Alexis, comfort is not ‘comfortable at all, because we are hiding when we are in comfort, and our body knows that, even if we refuse to pay attention.
“We are all getting pulled up to constantly evolve, that is the natural order of life, therefore to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve.” …and this is what we choose to get stuck in. We can feel that there is more, and that by making different choices the possibility of true change is huge, but we settle for familiarity and comfort so we do not have to deal with how amazing we actually are or all the jealousy and compariison that would come with it.
Middle England brought up the image of middle earth and the content hobbits living the shire. How boring the world would be if all we had was comfort! Comfort lacks living life to its fullest that has no ending or prize, just commitment to self and others. I know which one I have chosen!
And when we choose to move out of comfort, there is a world of difference between making surface changes (the act of doing) and true change which touches our very essence.
‘Repetition goes hand in hand with comfort’ Repeating old and familiar behaviours, friendships and work patterns forms the cocoon of comfort. Breaking free of this requires self awareness, and commitment to do something about it. Without this there can be no movement.
Re-reading this blog this morning, I ask myself how often do I choose comfort over evolution? Each time I do something that dulls rather than brings vitality to my body, I am choosing not to feel, and this is a form of comfort
“… my body was pretty irritated and uncomfortable most of the time, but due to the array of medications that I chose to administer myself, I rarely got to feel the full force of my discomfort.” Me too, a huge array on a regular basis that numbed everything I was feeling and kept me in the illusion of having a good life. Sobering up includes going cold turkey on comfort, but it can be done and very lovingly so. The more we choose to re-connect to our bodies and our inner stillness, the simpler it becomes to feel and understand why we choose all the medications and comfort. The more we feel and release our hurts, which can be eons old, the easier it becomes to relinquish the comforters, as the need to smother them up no longer exists. Embracing a comfortless life is not about living in poverty or hardship, its about feeling clean, vital, innocent and committed to evolving ourselves, not indulging ourselves.
I find it very important when moving on from a position of comfort, to be very discerning and appreciative of any aspects that are actually truly supportive. To just see the stagnant, hindering parts is very important but in my experience not enough, as if we only emphasise the negative, we go into reaction and choose the opposite.
Love what you have said here Adele. We are all trapped no matter what class, and that unless we cultivate our awareness and open up to love we are stuck. Alexis has put the magnifying glass on this particular class so beautifully.
It feels to me that In comfort we have given up, stopped asking questions, we are actively choosing to be blind, until devastation knocks at the door in the form of illness, disease, devastation and war; when our own back yard is in jeopardy then we decide to care.
Unless of course those things are part of the comfort that we are choosing to hide in.
You can see how investments become comforts, the house, the car, the lawn, the children’s schools, the annual holidays, the iPods, iPads,etc, all the identifications that make life acceptable, yet there is one gigantic missing piece,a relationship with self, for if there was we would be honest enough to admit that these comforts do not bring true lasting joy and settlement.
Lucindag, I’m gad you mentioned the lawn! The amount of money, time, effort and concern that is put into lawn care is astronomical!
What i can feel about this comfort is that nothing ever changes and thats exactly the way people like it, their buttons never get pushed, the boat never gets rocked and the rot that is pervading humanity stays at an agreeably comfortable distance.
Lucinda I used to believe that the ‘rot that is pervading humanity stays at an agreeably comfortable distance’ but I now know from my years spent in comfort that I was riddled with rot.
A very interesting study of a large portion of humanity, for this comfort is not confined to England alone but is rife in all countries. We will take great lengths to avoid the responsibility of evolution and there is no greater way than to paint the perfect picture and confidently ignore that is 2D in comparison to the 5 dimensionality of the life we could be leading.
This has become an aspiration of many thousands of people – to become personally ‘comfortably off’. In all honesty I can feel this within me too, a self-serving desire which only leads to being caught in the attractions of the system we have created for us to exist in. Awesome, timely and inspiring blog.
Comfort is so insidious… it has us believing life is ok, and numbs us from feeling our bodies. As you say Alexis – a fog over us where we cant see the wood for the trees. And it is only when someone like Serge Benhayon stands clearly in front of us and disperses the fog that we begin to see what is truly going on in our world – then we have a responsibility to shine our light in the fog too and support others.
Comfort keeps us from feeling the responsibility of our choices, of linking our choices to the outcomes. Comfort can also keep us from having truly intimate relationships.
Most relationships revolve around comfort.
I was talking about something similar to this the other day with a group of people I had just met. We were talking about the term ‘normal’ and it sparked from the title of this blog “Middle England”. As you are saying Alexis yours was a term to describe a group of people and not a location. I was commenting on how we use ‘normal’ in the same way and how the ‘norms’ move around year after year. If we were to look at normal in 1966 I would wonder how far they have moved. What I have noticed is that the norm is moved all the time and so we could hardly take it as a gauge of anything other than the movement of what we all are doing. But yet we see normal as a place to rest or feel comfortable. Remember if a ‘norm’ changes then you need a base or foundation to have a comparison to. Just the mere fact of a group of people all doing the same thing shouldn’t put us at ease but rather make us want to look at the quality of what they are doing and then see how it fits in with our history. For me our ‘norms’ are out of control and no longer should we feel comfortable with that word. Look back to 1966 and see forward to today and realise our norms are not acceptable. Now fast forward another 50 years, is that something you can live with? Norm is a great name for a person but hardly a great name for a group of people.
When we are ‘in the middle’ we are buffered and can hide even more in our comfort – a note to self to how much I still place myself ‘in the middle’!
I love how you have described comfort in this piece Alexis and how it ‘muddies our perception’ because we are so numbed by our choices, that we start to believe that they are ‘normal’, when all along we know they are not as you so aptly share. Love your expression!
‘…therein lies the problem – when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.’ – True, but at the same time it is interesting how many people say ‘was that it..?’ ‘surely there is more..?’ indicating that they already know, and have started to ask the questions. Yet when it comes down to it, are they willing to also question the comfort they themselves are living?
“But the truth of the matter is there is no place for comfort in truth and no truth in comfort.” This is priceless and an ever deepening truth in ones life as one begins to see it more clearly.
‘Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.’ So very true Alexis, the tragedy of not being the glorious beings that we are, fooled by an imitation version of the ‘good’ which is actually very destructive to our bodies.
As you rightly say, we wrap the blanket(s) of comfort so tightly around us because we all feel the “unbearable fact” that the life we are living is not the truth and that we have actively chosen that non-truth. That hurts. Hence the comfort blanket. But it’s a merry-go-round with the pain and regret getting ever more extreme and thus, as can be so easily seen in the way modern life is developing, the comfort blankets get evermore enshrouding.
The trouble is ‘Middle England’ land of comfort is such an enticing place to live and gives us the illusion that we are doing ok. We know we may never reach the top shelf people of society but we sure ain’t sitting down with the “have nots” of this world either. More and more it is becoming clear that if we do not ask ourselves what’s next constantly, we plateau and settle for a new level of comfort.
Comfort is a way of living which deprives us from the joy and vivacity which is burning in us. Comfort dulls and damps this down so that only a weak glimmer is left over. As a consequence there is a lot of sadness in those bodies living in comfort.
“– when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.” If I could measure the relationships I have chosen, mostly it has all been around comfort. This has been the relationship I have chosen with myself mostly – to not be responsible for what I know and feel that could be the results of great change and very simply so.
I know I have fallen for this false notion of good many times in my life. That if I compare my life to one that has more extremes of poverty, violence, abuse etc then it is easy to say that everything is ok. But as you say Alexis, life is not about just gaining security, safety, and physical comfort. It is about evolution: meaning continually expanding our awareness and our connection to the love we are and bringing this awareness to all of humanity.
We can be rich in the material physical world and yet be very poor in terms of knowing who we are, and the degree of connection with our soul.
Not many people have the will to rise out of the sands of comfort. What is needed is the choice to wake up from an enchanting dream. This is highly supported through connection to our bodies, our markers of what is true.
We are all lighthouses, the more we choose to shine, we offer a guiding path, impulsing those around us to fire up and embrace the divinity that we are all from, the light grows and grows including everyone and everything in it’s beautiful glow. To be in comfort is to place a box over your light, capping yourself to your own detriment and that of everyone else.
It is the comfort brought on by our desire for peace that stops us from truly understanding the true harmonious relationship with life that is on offer.
Adam on reading the word ‘peace’ it became apparent to me that we settle for ‘peace’ in our own homes as well as peace on a global scale. I used to think that peace was something to strive for but now I understand that it is often simply a state where people have momentarily stopped shouting at one another. Peace never runs very deep, whereas harmony is in every layer.
There is an incredible sluggishness to comfort, arranging all our treats around us so it’s not too much effort to dull ourselves down when we’re feeling uncomfortable. It’s all about US – the individual, we feel that life is good because as you say Alexis, ‘someone else is a lot worse off’. Again we’re only thinking of ourselves, it’s pretty ‘off’ to measure how well things are going for us by comparing how badly they’re going for others. Our bodies know the truth, they cannot lie, they know how divine we are, the divinity that we are here to bring, to dismiss this takes an enormous force causing an incredible amount of dis-comfort in our bodies which we work very hard at numbing down so we don’t have to feel it. We are living a lie in comfort.
I have experienced comfort as you describe Alexis – ‘The Truth was forever inside me but comfort lay like a blanket of fog over the top of truth, obscuring my ability to feel it clearly.’ I can also add that for me comfort has felt like living in a bubble and yet you do not know that you are in a bubble and therefore truth evades you. Once you crack the bubble open everything seems so much clearer and it seems unfathomable that life was so thick with the fog and the inertia. The bubble can reform at any time as comfort will seek to take hold at any opportunity. Imagine how big the bubble is for Middle England!
Comfort is a big thing as we have been fooled to believe this is the way to live our lives and spend a life time constantly striving for it. All comfort is a form of numbing so we don’t get to feel what is really happening within ourselves. It’s like a big cover up so that we don’t need to make changes and improve the way we are living hence the increase in disease and illness. Thank god for Universal Medicine for exposing this lie we have all been living.
It is so easy to get trapped in seeking comfort in life. The mantra of study hard to get good marks, a good job so that you can earn money and have a nice house, car, and family. It all rings pretty hollow and self centered when it is laid out like this. What is the the purpose to this life? What are we contributing to humanity if we are only looking for comfort? All of these questions are very exposing of the life of comfort that lacks true purpose and shows no responsibility.
When we seemingly have ‘everything’ on a superficial level, we very rarely question the quality of our choices in life; until something shakes us out of the comfort we are swimming in.
or is it the comfort we are drowning in?
Susan, the evil was even more concealed for me because I was actually very happy in my comfort. I smiled broadly as I snuggled down even deeper into my eiderdown. Happiness and comfort are an evil mix.
This is an amazing piece of writing and I can say, apart from all that you have truthfully shared about Middle England Alexis, that comfort is one of the reasons I have “lost” most friends and family to. We have a Middle England here in Hong Kong too, in fact it is the most of Hong Kong. It was something I was also born into but had also always desperately wanted out of. Most of my friends thought it was crazy that I did not enjoy the comfortable and so called stable lifestyle that I was born into, but the truth was the hypocrisy and discrepancy felt from young in this lifestyle caused me tension, and there was no true comfort or stability to speak of.
If we were born into comfort, it is very difficult to come out of it, if we were born into poverty, we strive our whole lives to go into Middle England and most will make it there. If we were born into high society, it was an even more refined form of Middle England that keeps us there no matter what. So to remove oneself from Middle England takes a great deal of willpower and a commitment to feeling our way through life even though it is not the normal practice. There is no true security until there is true freedom.
Adele I have to share again your potently truthful last line, ‘There is no true security until there is true freedom’.
Saying that we live ‘comfortably off’ is actually quite a curse; it means we are not struggling but also not inclined to have lots of purpose and commit to life in full. Even when we have everything you could temporally wish for; a great financial foundation, loving family, a good career and so forth, this doesn’t grant us the right to disengage from humanity and rest on our comforts and put aside our responsibility to support the community.
“Comfort is a form of mummification”. Could not agree more Alexis, comfort is an insidious condition that dulls our awareness and our natual sense of evolution, a clever trick that satifises our spirits but slowly kills our bodies.
Could it be that true harmony is only possible when we as a society start to say no to comfort, but instead live a life of truth and love. I feel that for now the majority doesn’t truly care about the state of the world, that is how other people feel in parts of the world where it’s not so safe and loving to be and express themselves. Particularly for women. We should inform our politicians that this is not acceptable and say no to any form of abuse or power over people. Are we willing to let go of the comfort? Even is this may make other people feel uncomfortable by reflecting to them the innate love that we are.
The macrocosm is a magnification of the microcosm, therefore we each have to make the choice to stop abusing ourselves before we can live in a world that is free of abuse and likewise planetary harmony will only be possible when we have each returned to a harmonious way of living within ourselves.
The ideals and beliefs one has to live up to in the life of middle England (or wherever) comfort when you dig a little deeper is not so comfortable after all. It takes a lot of force on ones body and numbness to not feel what we are really feeling and hence the need for more comfort and distractions like holidays and the idea that everything is perfect to be sustained in this illusion. The truth of connection to ourselves our soul and God is all that counts in life and everything else we may have leaves an emptiness and loneliness inside to be masked over for everyone to see otherwise especially ourselves.
This form of comfort is found everywhere and is very entrenched in our society, those who see themselves as ‘poor’ or struggling dream and aim to be comfortable, those who are called ‘middle class’ are desperate to keep hold of that or step up to the next ‘class’ and those who are in the so called ‘top’ shelf think they have hit the jackpot and try very hard to make everything appear to be the best, great and happy. But as a whole we are missing the point and not realising that when we just look out from our apparent ‘standing’ in life by society’s standards, we miss the opportunities that are constantly there to evolve. One such thing is to evolve out of the ideas and beliefs that we are all separate and in our own pods and that we don’t affect each other greatly by every thought, action and movement we make.
“Middle England is a very cosy place, very cosy indeed, and therein lies the problem – when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.” This is indeed the trap, and one that so many are caught in. Its not until these ‘comforts’ are threatened in some way that there is a feeling of unrest, and that maybe, just maybe this ideal of comfort doesn’t hold the answers to the deeper questions we have about life, and there comes a point when we have to step out of that comfort zone and begin to examine exactly what it is that we are doing and how we are living. Ultimately, no amount of comfort can bring us truth.
Seeing and understanding comfort as ‘reduction’ puts a whole new slant on life. Why would we want to live a reduced version of life when we can live life to the full by stepping out of comfort?
Being ‘comfortable’ is an addiction for one does not need to live in Middle England to succumb to it. Anything that we become accustomed to, even drug addiction, being homeless or having fame and riches, can become ‘comfortable’ compared to stepping out of the comfort zone of our established life. We become secure in our habitual way of living and to step out of that appears too hard, uncertain or scary. So we stay ‘comfortable’ in our discomfort.
Interesting point Ariana – that often the suburbs and areas we may aspire to living can often be the ones where none of the neighbours talk and the rest of the world is locked out behind bars
A fantastic question to pose …” But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?…” Comfort is like the fog that stands in the way of one seeing, connecting and feeling to the purpose of life.
The life we carve out for ourselves is truly a choice. What I see reading this blog is how sometimes choices are so familiar that we don’t realise we are even making them or that life could be any different.
it is huge to see the paralysis of the cosy comfort we settle for which is in reality a series of coping strategies to offset the misery, sadness or at the very least unsettlement of knowing deep down that there is something that does not ring true in this existence. When we can realise that comfort can be a prison we can start taking the steps back towards true freedom.
So many ways available to us to prevent ourselves from feeling how uncomfortable it can be to be comfortable.
Comfort seems to mean not feeling or being aware of anything which may be saying that all is not OK, or that we are called to do something outside the level of activity which we deem to be acceptable. I know this from being in comfort and realising that there are many layers to it.
Living in comfort is like painting a wall that has had children’s artwork done with waxed crayons. The crayons are the truth we try to cover up and ignore, but they never stay away or hidden, and remind us of things that we have not dealt with.
Thank you Alexis for exposing just how deeply uncomfortable a ‘comfortable life’ is wherever we live in the world. We can cushion ourselves with all the material possessions and be physically comfortable but because we are all part of the same pull to evolve ourselves spiritually back to a deep connection with our soul, if we are resisting that pull, it can get extremely uncomfortable regardless of how much we try and distract and numb ourselves from feeling the fact.
Living in comfort requires a loving dedication towards oneself to be absolutely honest. Even as I begin to be more aware of the choices that are not true to me and make changes I can still feel how I can drop into comfort. Letting go of comfort I am learning and understanding is an ongoing process and will always be as in every moment I am given an opportunity to evolve.
One UK news channel gave prominence to reporting of the siege and bombings citizens of Aleppo, rather than to the Rio Olympics, which dominated the other news channels. Olympics and mass sporting events are a convenient way to captivate millions of people as they are sitting in comfort to watch individuals compete against each other at great public expense, with absolutely no benefit to the greater good. Affluence and the comfort it spawns is malevolent as it feeds the habit of sitting back and looking the other way while large parts of the world burn.
Middle class life is often seen as one of the highest ideals, it’s comfortable, wealthy, totally safe and secure, and it looks amazing from the outside, but none of this means anything without a connection to the truth, a commitment to love and a truly evolving life.
It is incredible and inspiring to shine light through the fog of comfort, one of the most illusionary and entrapping aspects of life. I know ‘Middle England’ well and am more than happy to kiss goodbye to its blind, separative and enslaving grip.
Reading this blog brings a really strong sense of the numbing of comfort and how its goal is to maintain the status quo! If life is about evolution then comfort is indeed not very comfortable at all.
The world is a very unequal place and it begs the question, ‘How did we let it get that way when we are all, in essence, equal?’ Was it our determination to be individual that created the separation that feels so awful today? A determination that descended into comparison, jealousy, greed, and corruption that created a world where there is poverty, malnutrition, poor housing, conflict and war? So much needs to be done to undo all this and return to who we truly are. It starts with each one of us letting go of our image of self and developing an understanding that we are a one humanity and our responsibility is to all.
‘this bastardised version of life is the culmination of every single choice that we have ever made. If we owned up to this fact then we would all be called to account, and that is something that most of us aren’t prepared to let happen, therefore we often choose comfort’ ….. yes, you’ve completely nailed comfort and exposed it for what it is ….. mummification that retards us all.
Some very powerful analogies… especially the ‘mummification’ and the ‘wind tunnel’ … and yet they are not over the top, because the ‘comfortable life’ is actually worse then this… and it really needs to be for want of a better word… fully exposed.
Meeting Serge Benhayon and family certainly felt like a knife cutting through the fog, a huge awakener to what life is truly about and how off track we are. When humanity focuses on imroving the quality of everyone’s lives, not just a few, then we will truly understand just how evil a life of comfort is.
The more comfort we are in the less we want to know the truth. Ironically we already know the truth, we just don’t want to know what we know.
Comfort certainly does numb us from feeling all things. This default mode of comfort where we avoid looking at what we are feeling is all too common and ‘normal’. How we go into autopilot and this is what feeds the complete comfort that we trust in because it never asks us to be who we are. We check out, and call this happiness. The question is what are we choosing when we choose this?
The story of the Buddha’s path to enlightenment is one of extraction from the comfort trap. Like many of us he too was born into comfort – albeit at a slightly higher level than many of us! – Yet defeated the illusion that this was the sum total of life… though not without his share of trials and tribulations.
When I was born my parents were not part of Middle England but it was something they strove for, yet the importance of doing well at school was also instilled into us as being a means of getting on in the world. Education is often used as a social advancement and I was aware of the arrogance of ‘haven’t I done well’ and it being a prop for my own worthiness. When the emphasis is on education and qualification to feel OK about oneself, there is no doubt it keeps us from knowing the truth of who we are.
Comfort is one big trap that is keeping us on a level of life that in truth doesn’t satisfy the pull we constantly feel to evolve. We are constantly asked to be more, to be all that we are. And choosing comfort is a great way of avoiding that responsibility.
Recently I stayed in a house, on a well attended to housing estate. It all looked good (though felt empty), and there was a part of me wanting this too. Having had this life up until a few years ago, I had walked away feeling how that way of life wasn’t ‘it’. I was intrigued into why there was this attraction. I wanted it because it looked good and it fitted a picture of where I thought I should be. I wanted the comfort and perceived ease and lack of responsibility. My picture was that when life is a certain way ‘I have made it, I can relax now’. This is the lie though, because we can never ‘make it’ as we are constantly evolving and it takes a lot of abusive behaviours to numb ourselves to not be aware of this. It was a great wake up call in seeing how this picture and belief could keep me held in comfort.
‘We are all getting pulled up to constantly evolve, that is the natural order of life, therefore to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve.’ Yes, the deeply ingrained consciousness that chooses comfort over evolution is forceful and seductive, and we do not even know we run on this energy because it has become our normal.
Comfort is held up as a goal for all, almost the ultimate success. Comfort food has recipe books dedicated to it. Comfort is a selling point for our clothes, our shoes and our furniture. We should choose a way of care, nurturing and love for ourselves, but comfort does not provide any of those things. Comfort locks us away in the quiet cotton wool existence, stifles our joy, and calls us to pretend that as long as we are okay, it doesn’t matter what happens to the rest of the world.
‘We should choose a way of care, nurturing and love for ourselves, but comfort does not provide any of those things’ in fact comfort distorts the physical evidence that results from our lack of self care, nurturing and love, which means that we keep ourselves from fully feeling that we are, in dire need of those qualities in our lives. If we took away the comfort it would be very obvious that we needed to change much about the way that we are choosing to live.
“But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?” – An amazing question to ask – what if we should not aim to succeed in life by becoming comfortable, but aim to every day, month and year to have evolved back further to who we are.
What really stuck out for me that “What adds to our idea that comfort is a goal of life is that we compare ourselves to the majority of the world’s population who are struggling with the day to day basics such as food and water and we feel very privileged and lucky to be living the way that we do…” Wow this statement alone shows clearly how with comfort it’s not about evolution, not for ourself and not for mankind. Perfectly happy to let pain and suffering go on as long as there is personal comfort.
It appears to me that people choosing comfort are forever defined by what they do and how the world treats them. It would seem that even though they’re living under the belief that they have life under control, they don’t realise that often they are being manipulated (played with) in some way, without consciously being aware of it, sadly so.
Everything about life is set up to obtain comfort or to stay in comfort if we have it. To realise we have been playing the wrong game is huge… we have been playing on the wrong pitch and not noticed the real game going on next door…which is the evolution of life…here everything is brought and more! How have we been able to ignore this?
Years and years of practice!
The comfort you describe here is so much a part of our existence it doesn’t occur to us that change is a Good Thing, and that we need to take responsibility for our own direction, not leave it to others to fix everything for us.
“I discovered that when I open my heart, I realise I know so much that my mind hasn’t even had access to before.” Thank you Danna, this is a lovely testament to what Serge Benhayon has gifted us all with, to know how to reconnect to our inner hearts where true wisdom resides which allows us to debase our pursuit of knowledge at the expense of our bodies and instead live harmoniously in connection to who we truly are.
As a society, if we resist the constant pull of evolution we must rely on higher force , which explains the high level of crime, illness and mental health crisis as people need distractions more and more to avoid connecting to a deeper level of love. We must stop and feel the way we are been asked us to live as it is only through reconnecting to our bodies and the wisdom within that we can once again return to who we truly are.
There is nothing more divine than reconnecting to our soul, it is a sacred way of communicating with God and all that there ever has been and will be and in that we too get to feel the love that we all are.
If we resist the constant pull of evolution we must rely on higher force , which explains the high level of crime, disease and mental health crisis as people need distractions more and more as a way to avoid connecting to a deeper level of love, we must stop and align to the way that we have been asked to live as it is only through reconnecting to our bodies and the wisdom within that we can once again return to who we truly are
I love how you have named the inertia in comfort and how it can be like running in quicksand. I have not only subscribed to the ideals and beliefs of Middle England, but striven to achieve them all my life, often in some very self abusive ways. Anything that seems to threaten this comfort I have felt great anxiety over, which is what I see happening in the world also. Wanting a green and pleasant land over actually seeing we have a responsibility to humanity that has led to people trying to convert comfort and keep its status quo going. People trying to say people are different to them and so their plight has nothing to do with them – trying to shut people out if their little bubble of comfort. Despite world events showing us without a doubt, we cannot continue to ignore the fact that trying to cling to comfort is killing us all.
But the attachment to comfort is strong. I am reminded in the UK of this by all the mugs and t-shirts saying ‘ keep calm and carry on…’ I have a responsibility to notice all the times I feel a threat to my comfort and rather than dig my heals in and defend, I let go and be love. This I can choose in my day today and tomorrow and so on, letting go of my investment in comfort and allowing myself to be and see the true state of the world.
Middle England feels like cosily packed into a sandwich surrounded by comfort. Comfort is very numbing and often does not allow us to see the truth. Comfort is like an energy which laces every action we do, so that the action misses the power of love and truth.
I am inspired by this blog to reconsider what it really means to serve in life – rather than to do what appears to be service whilst protecting the comfort of my life. Thank you Alexis – from the heart of Middle England!
I love the analogy of trying to walk in a wind tunnel in the effort it takes to stay in comfort against the constant pull of our true evolution. When we come to understand that that evolution is to be joyful, loving and living accordance to our natural impulses and truth it is hard to understand why we would resist so much.
It is amazing how much the class divide not only separates us but also keeps us where we are, essentially not evolving and staying in the comfort we know and avoiding change at all costs.
Once we stumble away from who we really are and attempt to become the next ‘new and improved’ version, as you have said life just becomes a bastardised version of the original that just continues to mutate. Like a single seed, just one bad choice left unchecked and we are off. You can’t improve on perfect but we spend our lives trying which is the ultimate comfort… but there is no evolution in perfect.
This is a fantastic expose on the comfortable life, on how normal is so ingrained that we accept a medicated dull life as our lot. Painful but hugely inspiring blog to read and reflect on.
There is comfort and there is comfort. It is so important to distinguish between them. There is the comfort of wearing shoes that support your feet, of sitting in a chair that supports your back, of wearing a jacket to keep warm, and the comfort of knowing that you can come home to a cooked meal and a warm bed. These are natural comforts that support us on all levels. But then there is the comfort of not wanting to give up a certain food because you like the taste (even though it makes you bloat, or racy or tired), the comfort of not wanting to change your rhythm or your habits to accomodate for another, the comfort of knowing that you have all you need and being happy with that despite others going without.
This latter form of comfort is often rocked in times of crisis, such as an illness or a disease or a natural catastrophe that calls us out of our usual way of being – it calls to us and gets our attention so that we leave behind an old way of being that no longer serves us nor anyone else. But why is it that we have to wait for such a calamity to shake us out of our comforts? This is a very powerful thing to ponder on. Alexis you have really opened up the conversation, you have opened up the can of worms that no one really wanted to look at but now we have to – and this is only a blessing for us all.
I would say that prior to Universal Medicine my goal was to reach and stay in comfort, and my whole way of living support that picture. The reality was that brought me misery and tension in my body that started a rot creating illness on all levels. To understand what it means to evolve even though at times it is really challenging has completely changed the way I approach everything.
I too can feel this comfort in me, when I don’t want to feel the reality of what is going on or when I don’t want to feel what someone is really up too I can go into wanting to eat or watch television or do anything not to feel it. It is in this state that we let things go.
Alexis your point “when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it..” is so true and really sums up what a ‘comfortable life’ is all about. It is designed specifically to be so good and desirable that in my experience you have to be weird or strange to question it. And whenever steps are taken to leave behind some of these ‘comforting’ behaviours and choices, there is often a backlash of some sort by those who do not want the same choices exposed for what they are.
I find it interesting that the ‘Middle Kingdom’ as China described itself for centuries was one of the most stifling places on earth.
“When something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave” – This is very true, and by ‘leave’ it doesn’t mean everyone in Middle England or who are living comfortable lives has to get up and move away, but they can choose to live a different way; one of purpose, service, consistent joy and evolution and thus leave the comfort behind.
Great blog highlighting how comfort is the true enemy of evolution and avoidance the ammunition.
Nothing can replace true love, but true love. Even though we have tried and tried for centuries, to fill the void with so many other things, nothing has worked, and our ailing bodies are a testament to that. Our bodies tell us loud and clear, and if we are not feeling joyful and alive, we are not with our true selves, and that emptiness has to be filled.
Wading through quicksand is a brilliant way to describe the mire that is comfort and the difficulty we can experience distracting ourselves from it. Thank God for Serge Benhayon – someone who extricated himself from comfort and who now spends his time presenting what is needed to support others to do same.
Brilliant blog Alexis in its stunning dissection of the disease we call comfort. We suffer the same disease in ‘middle Australia’ and I have been – and on some levels still – am a leading proponent of it. You are correct in saying it is hard to break free from because it looks so good, as if we’re doing all the right things, being the good citizen – at least on the surface. Great to cut through the middle class comfort consciousness.
‘The Truth was forever inside me but comfort lay like a blanket of fog over the top of truth, obscuring my ability to feel it clearly.’ How true Alexis. We can still feel the comfort and the binding, dulling, lethargic effects of it but what happens is that we come to imagine that this is what the good life is. We mistake this chimera for the real thing.
“Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.” Once our awareness is opened up to this truth and we choose to take responsibility for our part in the world then we can offer true healing to ourselves and humanity and break the cycle of living to exist with all it’s very tragic side effects, which are becoming harder and harder to ignore even in the comfort bubble.
“Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.” And this tragedy is compounded by the fact that this reductionism is celebrated by society and as children brought up to aspire to it.
Repetition – that reminds me of the comfort of watching the same characters doing pretty much the same thing year after year after year on soap operas such as Coronation Street, Crossroads (in my day), the Archers, Eastenders, Neighbours in Australia – I took these addictive medications for many years and actually felt a great freedom when I stopped. I know some people who have taken them for almost their whole life and must have their daily dose every night!
I absolutely agree Alexis, to be in comfort actually takes a lot of effort and I love your example of the wind tunnel. This is so, so true, we have to use an enormous amount of energy to go against our natural pull to evolve in order to settle for comfort. I find it amusing how we have created so many variations of the same comfort to mask what is really going on. It can be uncomfortable for some people to read your very exposing and honest blog because it is asking us to be honest about our choices and understand what we are actually contributing to if we are not choosing evolution.
Repetition is the key word that goes with comfort. If we are comfortable then there isn’t a pull to change or to evolve. Often it then takes a full stop moment for us to question how it is that we are living and that may come in the form of an illness, accident or a break down in a relationship to drag us out of our comfort which is a far cry from living the amazingness of the joy and love that is our innate state of being. When we stay in comfort, we have very little inkling to delve into the wonderment of what is on offer from when we align to and live from our soul. Living soul-fully isn’t comfortable but it offers the riches of heaven.
This comfortable place you describe Alexis is in reality just a moderated version of a deep misery. And because my misery looks a bit better than yours I think I am well off. I remember growing up, there were moments in life, often on Sundays when it was possible to feel that everyone could see that this way of being was totally empty. No wonder we have since filled up the spaces with 24/7 sport, TV, internet and mobile devices. Because when you get down to it there has been a big empty gap in the middle of you and me where our Love should be.
“What adds to our idea that comfort is a goal of life is that we compare ourselves to the majority of the world’s population who are struggling with the day to day basics such as food and water and we feel very privileged and lucky to be living the way that we do…” – there’s much, much revealed when these words are studied properly. What if life’s not about money, but about taking responsibility for what we feel. And in that following the impulses from within that lead to a more loving world, not a ‘better’ world. Yes, a more loving world might be seen as a ‘better’ world, but not as a goal or drive. Instead a more loving world is a logical outcome from a more loving way of being firstly with ourselves and from here with others.
I just ate too much and even though it tasted very comfortable in my mouth – and I feel full now – it does not feel comfortable in my body.
I had no idea just how insidious comfort is! It is essentially a way of living that can be in everything we do, say and even think. What are we comfortable in if comfort itself can be rather uncomfortable? The comfort of not feeling our hurts, pains and woes.
“Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction” this statement really sums up how the ‘good life’ we are sold is really nothing more than the lure and easy choice to stay small and not take responsibility. A chilling reminder of what is at play here.
It is possible that when there was war and wide scale deprivation in society, striving for and ensuring that people had a certain level of comfort was a step up. But even if that was so, it would have been then under different circumstances. It does not seem wise to turn what might have been useful in one moment into ideals and beliefs that then dictate how we live on an ongoing basis, especially since we can simply choose to keep deepening our ability to sense what is actually required to truly support humanity in each moment. The fact that something is deeply wrong in our pursuit for living in comfort is evident by the extent of depression, as well as alcohol and drug abuse amongst the most ‘comfortable’ and the most ‘successful’ amongst us.
Golnaz, alcohol and drug use are an intrinsic part of comfort culture, they are underpinning foundations of the whole illusion, take them away and the illusion would crumble overnight.
This blog has great depth to it. When I read it I feel the prompt to wake up and snap to it. But what am I snapping too? Is this is a form of comfort too, to look for something … I can feel the comfort is thick in my thoughts. Any awareness on what comfort means, or a thought that is playing small is a great start to realising more and more of the fog of the comfort.
I agree with you that my life growing up in Australia was comfortable too, and very irresponsible. I did not grow up essentially. I ticked all the boxes in being a ‘good person’ and being well-liked. I attended a prestige school and was a part of well-respected adults that my mum associated with. It looked good on the surface but behind closed doors there was a lot of abuse within my family and eventually self-abuse towards myself. I ended up getting involved in drugs and still managing to pass myself as a respected member of society, from what I learnt growing up, but was killing myself on the inside. A life of looking good and very clever manipulation, is not so a comfortable life in the end, it’s chaos inside – it does not feel good. My experience was it being released in your close relationships partners and family. Not so good at all. I am so much more responsible these days from the chaos that was not so comfortable at all. Far from it thanks to the love and support of Universal Medicine. I have bought love back to my family and relationships.
True Alexis. Comfort is uncomfortable, as the body can never settle without true harmony.
Yes, joy is much better!
I was running a group today, I was about to begin and I realised I had no idea what I was going to say and that I was outside my comfort zone. I accepted that I did not know, after my initial very short freak out I then settled into my body and bang, I started speaking and it came pouring through me.
The environment we grow up in feels so familiar and we can be so accepting of this being normal that to even consider life being any different challenges our entire being.
I sort of see comfort as the best kind of drug or sleeping draft – it dulls the senses and puts us to sleep when it comes to our evolution and seeing the reality of the world – that no matter how good our life is, there is so much suffering in the world to sit back and stick to the ‘good’, that we can’t just be cruising though life, that there is always a pull to be more.
The suffering in third world countries is very obvious and therefore addressable, it’s the suffering in the suburbs that goes unseen and that will be the last to get addressed because it will be denied and defended until the end.
Very very important statement Alexis – when we measure life along one life, from abuse back to what we can claim with certainty is not abuse, when in truth it is just less abuse. Why not measure away from love, so that any deviation away from the truth of love is felt?
‘But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?’ Isn’t there always something pulling us to be more?
It took me ages to realise the extent of comfort in my life, and I am still unravelling it. I loved it when you said there is no comfort in truth and no truth in comfort. I feel that when we are immersed in comfort there is no reason to search for truth as we are very happy where we are. Often it is when there is a big shake up, an illness or tragedy, that we begin to look for another way. I can begin to understand the grace of discomfort through this.
It’s so true that numbing or distracting ourselves with food, TV, work, multiple relationships, alcohol, drugs and the like is so normal that people don’t realise what else is there to live outside of these comforts. All of these things are designed as ‘entertainment’ to keep us ‘occupied’ and ‘interested’, but we are missing out on real life which is entertaining, interesting, diverse, divine AND filled with millions of opportunities to be involved all together.
‘middle England’ can also be replaced with ‘comfortable England’ – the problem being – we can get to a point where everything is ‘OK’ and therefore we stay in our bubbles and don’t want to see what is happening in the rest of the world because we don’t want to rock the boat in our own lives. But there is so much to be said for what life truly is about – what our purpose is here – the fact that we live energy first. Serge Benhayon is one such man who has ripped the bandaid off, so to to speak, and allowed so many of us to see the truth and purpose of life and our responsibility.
Reading further on in your blog I am realising the abuse of living a life of comfort, and the many layers of avoidance we employ to maintain ourselves with great effort in a way of livingness that is so many millions of miles away from what is true and naturally sustainable. As we go from one type of numbing to another we are lost in a pursuit of the unobtainable – a search to find ourselves when all we are doing is looking outside when the true wisdom of life is to be found in connection to our soul. It’s really simple – and what we do is make it all complicated – or in your words ‘The Truth was forever inside me but comfort lay like a blanket of fog over the top of truth, obscuring my ability to feel it clearly’.
What a great blog Alexis, describing what ‘comfortable’ living really means. It may be called ‘middle england’ in the UK, but there are many many places in Australia that one could draw many parallels to what you have shared. Which fosters exactly what you have said “when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.” As long as people have their home, job, have gotten married (so they can look over the fence at all the single folk, feeling superior that they actually don’t have to put up with dating anymore) in the meantime, are putting up with untold abuse and living in arrangements with their partner and staying there in fear of being alone! There is so much to say about ‘comfort’ so thank you for opening this up for discussion.
“But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?” This is a very exposing question for many Alexis, myself included, but one that most definitely needs asking. When we start to really question ‘what is comfort’ it highlights so many areas of life where we are caught up in this and it can be very challenging. I have found this to be the case and can still find myself choosing to remain here rather than choosing to evolve.
It is so common for us to want to live in comfort. It can be our goal in life to want to create a comfortable life for ourselves. Perhaps this is natural when we have experienced tragedy or poverty. We want to ensure that we are going to survive. But in the end comfort can kill. It can kill us inside. If we relax into comfort nothing changes and we can sink into apathy.
Living a life of struggle can equally be a comfortable trait.
Creatures of habits in our comforts we humans are……until life delivers something to wake us up. We then have a choice, to resist ( which requires a lot of force) or we can stop, reflect, see the bigger picture and take the new steps to evolve that we are being continually asked to take.
I lived in northern California for many years, and winters are prone to have Tule fog. There was one year that the fog did not lift for over three months. The fog was one that had no comfort in it at all unless you were a fruit tree, that was the only thing that loved it. We live in comfort and just get used to the fog we have made, we become the fruit trees. It is a choice to leave the valley of fog we have chosen to live in and seek the warmth of the sun.
It is a good point you make, Alexis, that we cannot but feel the truth, even though we expend a lot of energy avoiding it. By staying entrenched in a life of comfort we are just delaying the inevitable return to joyful purpose, where every day is filled with meaning and love.
That is right. A lot of comfort is really numbness and would feel very different when the numbing is taken away.
Middle England sounds like the Hobbit’s part of the Middle Kingdom. This is probably not a coincidence.
Alexis, this is such a great article and expose of ‘Middle England’. I can feel how much comfort there is as someone who grew up in ‘Middle England’, keeping things the same is key – keeping the same friends, saying the same things, repeating the same behaviours, and that if someone steps out of this they are excluded – seen as odd, there is much pressure to conform to comfort and do what everyone else is doing.
Ah Rebecca, the scourge of the crowd, a deterrent from breaking free from the majority, since the beginning of time.
“However what I now know is that feeling ‘comfortable’ actually took a considerable amount of effort because my body did not feel naturally comfortable at all.” It takes a huge amount of honesty to actually feel and admit this, particularly so when all our creature comforts kid us into thinking that we have a very successful life. Our real wealth lies in how well our bodies are, how vital we feel, how open and loving towards one another we are, how strong, steady and reliable our temperaments are, how committed to life, work and our communities we naturally are. These qualities are seldom on our radar but in reality the most essential, our true evolution is about evolving our internal growth and our inter-human relationships, rather than lining our nest with things that suppress our vitality and keep us numb.
Knowing that life is not about comfort but about evolution is one of the greatest gifts exposed to us by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, as the truth of this is felt and cannot be denied and always known inside, hence the discomfort of comfort is also felt and therefore the need for distractions. A great uncomfortable blog of the reality we are stuck in in our own ways, offering evolution as the true way of living. A brilliant expose of what is really going on.
Aah yes Alexis, your blog has rung so many bells for me as I too was brought up to feel very self satisfied with living in comfort – and yet there was a part of me that was very uncomfortable. In fact the whole way I lived life was a paradox as I was not living true to myself nor to anyone else. I was compromising everything I did to fit in, whilst underneath I was rebelling and feeling contracted by the rules and regulations that appeared to be part of the comfort – even to recall this makes me squirm. It is wonderful to at last have found a way that offers freedom of choice as to how I live my life, and now I feel by being truly me, my life has extended way beyond middle England and includes the whole world, and now I feel truly alive.
Your blog Alex offers me to feel the trap of having a comfortable life. To have a comfortable life is normally something that most of us want to achieve as it is a positive way to live. Thank you so much for not holding back your experience with comfort as it is an invitation to change our lives as well.
This blog is a cracker, I related to all you have shared. I really appreciate that through the inspiration of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon there are people like yourself that are willing to write in a way that breaks a consciousness, shakes comfort, and asks you to question everything. All this without an ounce of judgement, powerful stuff.
Rebecca, the really ironic part is that it is often the people who are ‘comfortably off’ who are donating their time and money to help those who they perceive to be ‘less fortunate then themselves’!
For many of us we seek a better or comfortable life thinking that this is what will bring us joy however this is so far from the truth. True joy only comes with living our true purpose, which is the return to living soul-fully.
When I look at what is going on around the world I see many tragedies taking place, but the biggest tragedy of all, as you have so succinctly demonstrated Alexis, is that the majority of humanity is holding back who they truly are, reducing themselves to a much smaller of version of the amazingness they actually have to offer. And the crazy thing is, is that it actually hurts our body when we live in this reductionism, so not only does the world miss out on all that we have to offer, but we suffer too. Now that does not make sense – but we still do it – the pull of staying in comfort is that powerful!
and Ingrid, I wonder if all of life’s tragedies ultimately stem from the one original tragedy and that is that we have all separated from the truth of who we are.
I love the way you say ‘But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?’ Great question. And it is not about being uncomfortable, because there is nothing wrong with having a comfortable house, and good job, what is in question here is, are we awakening? Lifting our awareness to what is going on? And taking up the responsibility to shine our light in every hidden corner of the world?
It is interesting how Society has manipulated the word ‘rebel’ and to reward people for being ‘Middle England’ and hold to that. To ‘rebel’ is to challenge what is going on in the world – and it serves the ‘what is not true’ to not be a rebel and stay in comfort. Exposing this subtle manipulation and welcoming true ‘Evolution’.
There are many rebels throughout history who have been employed by the ‘what’s not true’.
I love how you also expose here how we can change hats so to speak but it can be within the same consciousness or energy, so we are still entrapped in a reaction to avoid the responsibility of making a true change that asks us to be more. We can only begin to see clearly when we step out of the fog of comfort.
‘For example, I replaced strenuous gym work with strenuous yoga, thinking that I was bettering myself, oblivious to the fact that I was replacing one medication for another. I replaced marijuana with meditation, again thinking that I was doing something better and missing the fact that they both served the same purpose and that was to prevent me from feeling what I was feeling.’
This is huge. ‘Bettering’ is such a trap – we fall into the belief that we are advancing, changing, growing and developing. And yet, naught has changed truly. It is a great lesson to learn to read the energy behind our choices, as opposed to merely looking at the behaviour that plays out.
Thank you Alex for so clearly pointing out how comfort permeates our lives in so many ways, all to avoid the truth our bodies are wanting to express, and the responsibility we have in every choice that we make.
Thank you Alexis, comfort is stagnating and not expanding and growing. I was interested in your words on how we make the same choices, do things the same, think and move the same, as I can now see areas where I am definitely static or stuck (Groundhog Day), and I can feel the natural but repressed movement that is waiting for me to connect to, to make changes in these areas.
I totally relate to this – ‘avoidance is our default setting, and although it muddies our perception, it can’t actually prevent us from feeling the truth of all things.’ – When you start to bring in awareness then this default mode starts to become more and more exposed. It can be so toxic when you forget that you had an awareness and slip back into default mode.
It is realising that we are not at all comfortable in our comfort, when we really allow ourselves to feel that we are in fact extremely uncomfortable as we live so far from our natural essence that we are numb often to how painful this is to feel.
What a powerful expose of the comfortable life. Comfort is what is pushed at us so often as being the ultimate goal in life, and yet little do we realise that it is what is holding us back from being all of what we can truly be. This does not mean being richer or more ‘successful’, it means expressing everything that we are able to express. Pushing the boundaries that we have tactly agreed to. In know for myself the lure of comfort has left me in a place where there is a fear of ‘rocking the boat’ and what might result from it, but I also know that there is so much more to be lived of this life. I dedicate myself to that.
We can see evolution as survival of the fittest, purely developing bigger buildings and faster technology, comfier homes, more sophisticated weapons or travelling to the moon Or we can see how evolution truly can be about deepening the love we live with each day, working back towards us all living in harmony.
Comfort is certainly a ‘mummification’ – a way of going stale, a way of stunting our own growth and potential! Thank you for this great reminder to always ask of ourselves to be more and hence to bring more to ourselves and to others (being careful not to interpret this as doing more rather than being more first and then doing what is needed).
The seeking of comfort, as I and many others have, only serves to numb ourselves to what is truly going on and leads to living in a false reality. It neither prevents or changes what is happening, and does not stop it from affecting us, only our awareness of how it affects us is reduced. This is like putting our fingers in our ears so that we don’t hear the sounds of an abusive relationship of a neighbour, the abuse continues it is only our awareness that does not.
’We may kid ourselves that we are branching out by trying something new, but often that ‘new something’ has the same flavour as pretty much everything else that we’ve always done.’ – Yes, I can relate to that, it is not easy to find the real deal in the overflow of options. I had no idea, until I attended the Universal Medicine presentations and started to understand the importance of energy and learning to discern for myself.
Comfort sits in Middle Earth as far as I have experienced. The description you offer of medicating to not feel how uncomfortable it actual is to be in a body of comfort is absolutely real and telling of how we think we are educated and intelligent and yet use this against ourselves to justify creating self-harming choices.
Hello Alexis and I was born around the same time but not in ‘Middle England’. I can very much relate to what you are saying about middle road or comfort. Not really sticking out but also not really sinking below, the middle road. Some may see this as the safest option and I know from my upbringing it was what my family strive for. Not to much success but just enough, not too much of anything but just enough. If we can say we aren’t in control of what goes on around us then how am I able to create a life of middle? It almost crazy to see how little choices in each moment lead to you attempting to walk the supposed middle ground of safety. This blog sums things up beautifully and this one is a work in progress, I will be back.
Comfort is a big fog, illusion and tool to hide from responsibility and true love.
Comfort is evil – as it numbs us to feel truth. So by saying yes to something that you want to be exactly like it was yesterday is a comfort.. To further expose the lie that comfort is actually allowing ourselves to play stupid and unintelligent, as it tries to put a facade to outside (arrogance) that we can do it again and enjoy it.. Whilst the evolution is to be more, not the same than the previous moment. I too have and still find myself wandering around looking for the same instead of truly new. And so cementing the comfort that I had chosen over truth. This is why it is so poisonous. Yet something we can choose to break through as Alexis is sharing with us. Something divine is calling us to be more – if we listen, we might not always know (in our minds) what will follow.. but we have tried everything else.. So we can only win.
This is most certainly not a comfortable read. Truth is not comfortable.
Thank you Alexis for so brilliantly showing the illusion of ‘good’ and ‘better’ which prompt us to settle for the comfort of having arrived somewhere, whilst in fact as you state life is always about evolution and deep down we all know it. That is why most of us do not wake up every day with that same joy and wonder that we approached our days with when we were young.
Comfort is keeping the status quo; evolution is living the future. They are two opposing energies.
Ah yes – the unseen, unspoken evil hidden in the last place you would ever think to look – the comfort of a good life. It is this comfort that we have all experienced at some point, for i know for myself i can make even a uncomfortable situation comfortable in a sense, if it is familiar and isn’t asking me to be more. We get caught in thinking where we are is fine, everything looks good, or everything looks like we imagine it should and so why should we consider change? Why would we ever begin to question the quality of our relationships or way of living? And yet in truth given the currents trends, we cannot continue to remain in this comfort, for something is clearly not working.
If we truly owned up to the comfort we are in, we would have to take responsibility for ever choice we have ever made and will make, most of humanity are not ready for this level of responsibility.
One problem with comfort is that when everyone around you is also in it, it takes awareness and honesty to question it and make a change. I always thought there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t satisfied with the job, boyfriend, money to spend, etc. It never felt like it was ‘it’ and so I questioned and searched for meaning to life whilst using various activities, behaviours, food and drinks to stifile my feeling of discontent, that was until coming across Universal Medicine and the Ageless Wisdom teachings.
The true rebel – someone who steps out of comfort and listens to and follows the impulses of their soul.
The statement that avoiding the natural pull to evolve takes immense energy makes a lot of sense, when we we see how much illness and disease has unknown origin and cause. It makes sense that there is a fundamental misinterpretation of what life is about, that is, comfort rather than evolution, that is driving the current trends of lifestyle illness.
‘Comfort is a form of mummification..’ So true Alexis – comfort glorifies existence where evolution expresses true livingness.
‘Repetition goes hand in hand with comfort.’ I agree with this, and to take it a step further, I feel like repetition is the bastardised form of ritual and rhythm. In truth, it is gorgeous and very needed to have a rhythm in the way we live. But the difference between repetition and rhythm is that the rhythm evolves and is always asking what is next – how can I be more caring, more loving etc? The repetition asks nothing but to continue carving deeper the behaviour that moves further away for the truth of life.
I never realised that comfort was so uncomfortable until I actually gave myself permission to feel the poison of it. Every time I choose comfort I know there was a choice to connect and evolve that I am resisting. Whether it is with another, or myself or feeling something that I am observing, whatever it is, there is always an option to choose evolution or comfort.
“Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.” It is a tragedy Alexis but we don’t see comfort as this because it is safe and familiar, yet it keeps us locked in a certain way, that reduces out ability to see that there is so much more to life than the comfortable place we have chosen to stay stuck in. I know the more I release myself from the clutches of comfort the more I enjoy a much fuller and more honest way of living..
A great post on a really important topic. And while it’s defined as Middle England in the UK, that place of comfort exists in many other countries. I grew up in the US where it certainly exists. And it is an existence that so many people look to achieve as well. But with your writing you reveal that all is not what it seems.
Comfort is often associated with something positive, and a comfortable chair is really nice indeed but material comfort can also hide the fact that we inside our bodies may not feel settled, full and content at all.
“But the truth of the matter is there is no place for comfort in truth and no truth in comfort.” So very well said. We are never going to find the truth in comfort, and comfort offers us no truth.
Alexis, I really got to feel the part where you wrote about saying the same things over and again, just a different flavour. I can feel that in the small talk, not so much the words but the way they are said in a repeating pattern of going through the motions, doing what is expected, fitting in, narrowing down, not standing out. Yet to look at the world and the incidence of illness and disease, it affects the “comfortable” middle classes, there is no immunity so the comfort turns out to not be that comfortable after all, and it really pays to make life about choices that don’t leave us feeling less or lost, and also offer others the same reflection that we don’t have to conform if it doesn’t feel right.
Love the way you describe comfort Alexis “Getting out of comfort is not easy: there is an inertia built into comfort that means that extracting ourselves from comfort has the same momentum as running in quicksand.” It’s like pulling your wellyboot out of deep, thick mud, you can struggle all you like but in the end you just have to leave the boot there and walk away from it.
This blog does bring it home of the comfort achieved by living in ‘Middle England’ and accepting that as being a good thing, but with the rise in illness and disease, and depression being one of them isn’t this showing us that the comfort is no longer doing it for us. Somewhere deep inside we are saying there has to be more to life.
Allowing truth to pierce the fog of comfort dispels it and offers different choices.
I guess I could say I was born in ” Middle” Australia, Alexis but hadn’t thought of it in those terms. It is true that we do get comfortable if we don’t have any struggle in our lives, or very little. Comfort is definitely something that stops our growth and creativity!
“But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?” This article is brilliant! You bring to light a topic that we are so tightly invested in to make-work for us, all the while knowing something about it isn’t working. We have made comfort the name of the game but in that there is no true joy or vitality…just a numbing comfort! What if life is about evolution? What if we have lived life from this perspective?
‘The fog of comfort.’ yes this is how I have lived my life. It has taken dedication to calculate the exact staying in the same position, making changes that give the illusion of progress. But living this way is not only exhausting, it is devastating. A constant diet of hidden self fury, anger and frustration with myself for not breaking the silence of pretense that what I have been living has been fitting in with others. Forever repeating patterns of behaviours I designed that kept me stuck.
Reading this is amazing. It is like reading my life and how I’ve chosen to live with comfort whilst knowing the great truth of who we all are truly. So I know exactly what I do each day to keep myself in Middle England. I therefore know exactly what to drop so I feel the truth beneath. It is then that I get to see clearly what I have let drive me and feel more of who I truly am. A great inspiration to step out of comfort.
Oh my goodness, this is so true. Comfort is so alluring until we are honest enough to admit that our lives are not full of joy and the aliveness of perpetual growth and evolution, but merely going through the motions and ticking all the temporal boxes, stagnating in self and contributing little or nothing to the world in truth.
Comfort stifles the body and muffles its messages.
I can very much relate to what you are sharing here Alexis, the walking in quicksand, the inertia that is caused by all the behaviours that I repeat but well know are not in any way supporting me but leaving me swimming in the same old dirty waters time and again. And it is getting more and more obvious that sticking to what feels familiar is a trap, is simply something I have done so many times that I got used to it, but it does not mean it is true. So it takes some discipline in the form of making different choices consistently from what I know is right for me to stir out of the dirty waters and leave them behind.
Wow, unbelievably strong and super honest, I can just about taste and smell the sickly sweet trickle of comfort oozing relentlessly off the page. And you are right, comfort is very uncomfortable and takes a lot of effort, like the person in the wind tunnel.
‘why we continuously choose comfort over truth’ And we do this because of our unwillingness to walk the path of truth unreservedly.
Pondering back at the fogs I have created to obscure life had been the primary purpose of my existence. I was not always to be in comfort but more of avoiding evolution and change. Without the fog, life is better than 7k video cameras; there is now clarity and purpose.
Alexis, this is brilliant! I love the expose – this is something for us all to consider, and to consider deeply so.
There is much comfort that we can accept and hold onto without necessarily even being aware of it. And the comfort you are talking about has nothing to do with wearing comfortable shoes or warm clothes etc – it has all to do with growth, to do with evolution, to do with our day to day choices that either keep us stuck in the same energy time and time again, or on the other hand keep us expanding and growing incessantly so.
I love how you have exposed what hard work it is to fight against the natural evolution and growth that we are offered every day. It is like forcing a child into clothes that are too small or shoes that no longer fit. This is difficult and painful to do and takes much to override how we are feeling when dressed in such attire that no longer fits nor suits us. Yet we do this often – and what you have shared here offers us a moment of reflection, a moment to ponder….How comfortable am I?
“When something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.” Therein lies our biggest trap. Make life comfortable and no-one will seek their own evolution.
I am realising that the attachment to comfort is what trips me up and holds me back. There are lots of pictures attached to it that promise everything yet deliver nothing. It is great to feel the discomfort of comfort. There is nothing truly comfortable about comfort.
Alexis- great to expose the truth about living in comfort not just occurring in Middle England but amongst humanity and what society values as being “it”- purpose of life. In truth, comfort stagnates our evolution.
No matter how much and how long we have subscribed to it, comfort is an illusion and it will never be true. But I do remember when I was encountered with a choice to say yes to the truth I saw how devastating and annihilating it was to a part that thought it had built my life and its value up to that point.
As long as life is comfortable then most are not willing to make change. This is why medical illness, accidents and environmental disasters are needed, to knock us out of our comfort so we have the opportunity to see there’s more to life than just living a good life for ourselves and our immediate family. Ultimately we are all equal family and all here to evolve to live in an equal, loving and harmonious way. If the true qualities of love, equality and harmony are not present then life is just based on good.
“Repetition goes hand in hand with comfort. What is it that we repeat? Well, we repeat everything: we say the same things to the same people in the same way, we behave exactly the same with the same people, we do the same things at the same time in the same way” – this is very accurate. When keeping up a guard with the world it is easy to repeat what we know works, over and over – but the tension that brings is undeniable.
One day as I was driving to work, I was driving into fog and out into patches of the bright glorious sunlight. I felt what was being revealed to me was that this is like life, the difference being it’s my choice to choose to remain in the fog – in ignorance, in my safe comfortable patterns, or to choose this glorious light, my light, the light that has been forever within me patiently waiting for me to allow it to shine, by stepping out of my comfort zone, by choosing to be open and accepting that I have a joyous responsibility to shine, and seeing that same light reflected within and around each and every single one of us, is in fact everywhere and never not. Comfort isn’t living our truth, it’s like remaining in the shadow – it is a hiding.
I had a laugh when I read this Alexis because it’s so true, the joke’s on us and reminds me of the term ‘comfortably numb’ – pretending that all that’s going on around us isn’t, hence the need for medication in whatever form we choose it to be to dull the pain of what we in truth can’t stop ourselves feeling.
This is one of the best blogs I have ever read. When you say you made the change of replacing rigorous gym exercise with rigorous yoga, and that you were just replacing one addiction with another, I am reminded of the way the Quakers replaced alcohol with hot drinking chocolate. All the early companies making chocolate were Quakers – Rowntree, Cadbury, Fry’s and I am pretty sure that it came from Fry’s apothecary business where cocoa was imported as a ‘medicine’ (medication!). We can all be so fooled by substituting one addiction for another. See also http://www.unimedliving.com/relationships/relationship-problems/relationship-issues/addicted-who-me.html
I am saying ‘Wow’ again Alexis at the way you have brought ‘Repetition’ in as a crucial ingredient of the ‘Comfort’ recipe. We have brought this ‘samey’ rhythm of repeating known behaviours and set-ups to give a fake continuity to the way we live our lives, in an energy of protection, to build a life, to carve out a way, that will keep us safe and comfortable. No wonder so many marriages break down, as every move is repeating the same old anti-evolutionary way of living! Love is not really in our sights – it is all about safety!
I think what you are calling Middle England is what we called the middle classes. Then we had the upper class and the lower class. All of these categories create separation, comfort as you have said, and do not offer evolution so are not classes at all.
In India there is the caste system which is another form of the class system – in this case it seems more like casting a curse on people!
Alexis, I love the way you have taken this ‘comfort dream’ with all its desirables (2 cars, lovely home, good salary, good people), and then suddenly expose how the body was actually feeling – extremely uncomfortable and having to take ‘medications’. The body will always let us know how we are actually living and whether the comfort we are feeling is an imitation of truly loving living or not. It is not so much our circumstances that provide the well-being, but our ability to live lovingly in the body. I love the way you are talking about this.
Wow Alexis! What an amazing title ‘Middle England’. It sounds like Narnia or middle Hobbit Land – it is not a geographical place but a state of being – and many of us know it so well – the comfortable life which we thought was IT, few realise that somewhere deep down we were aspiring to live divinely, in love and in truth, and we found this pocket, this lesser haven called ‘comfort’ on the way and mistook it for the real thing. All we truly want is the real thing and we keep settling for substitutes. Beautiful ‘outing’ you have done here – Alexis.
OH TBM
A brilliant exposé on COMFORT Alexis. “But the truth of the matter is there is no place for comfort in truth and no truth in comfort.” In essence, each and every one of us know this is true but sadly most of us choose to ignore it.
For example, I replaced strenuous gym work with strenuous yoga thinking that I was bettering myself, oblivious to the fact that I was replacing one medication for another” – yes agree, me too, like substituting high fat for low fat foods ‘to choose the healthy option’, yet eating the same or more because of that…This replacement aspect is great to pick out Alexis, and I see a lot of this in my work in recruitment/careers — in the case of those overworking/workaholics, or serial entrepreneurs where it’s seen to be great, dynamic, aspired towards, exciting, desirable, getting rich, career advancing, providing for family, etc. They could be all convenient reasons [excuses] to prove a point and reason to sustain the deceit of hammering the body from a rooted ideal – hence what true good or healing is ‘going to rehab for burnout’, as some do for a ‘quick fix’ [to get back to work again], when the root cause of the problem, the ideal, continues to remain there underneath the offending style of working?
Yes, ‘Middle England’ is an aspiring class of people from a lower or working class into ‘middle class’… but the issue is aspiring to what exactly? To have better interior decorated homes, to have the first child in the family to go to university, the latest home/tech gadget… that’s bought on HP (hire purchase).. to give the impression of a “good life” being had, though as you share Alexis, what is good about the illusion that the snare of comfort brings? Lulled into a picture of goodness yet imprisoned by feeling completely at a loss, zoned out in front of the telly, or downing wine out of a fancy crystal to feel that ‘all that’ is ‘not really, truly that’ – I think no matter the ‘class’, or where we’re from, we’ve all felt the awfulness of knowing this – living a pictured lie. It’s thanks to Universal Medicine for exposing the most biggest lie, and presenting the way of evolution.
The temptation to get to that ‘cruise control’ point in life is what we have all been fed over lifetimes and from many generations. The fact of the matter as you point out Alexis, is that it takes an enormous amount of effort to live in a way that is far from true. Something for all to deeply consider.
Alexis, I love the list of past behaviours you wrote. A great way to describe the past!
I have learnt and am continuing to learn how even something that is at one point evolutionary can in fact become a comfort if we do not continue to expand and grow with it.
Yes Carola, this is true. Evolution means we cannot be complacent because we’ve learned something new or dissolved an old pattern. I find that once one pattern is exposed and cleared, another presents itself immediately; we are constantly called to be more and not rest in comfort.
This is so true Carola I have fallen for this trap, thinking I can plateau and rest on my laurels for a while and enjoy an evolutionary moment but this then becomes the comfort of not choosing the next evolutionary moment. We are always being asked to be more and this is something I am continuing to learn on a daily basis..
Whilst ‘Middle England’ is heavy into comfort, this blog has articulated another way that we as ‘Humanity’ are separated and encouraged to see our brothers and sisters in parts. This illustrates the sinister and underlying effects that labels have on us and the need to belong instead of calling it out.
Thank you Alexis, this is a powerful expose on the absolute discomfort of comfort and how we have it sewn up in terms of justifying and perpetuating it as something desirable and applaudable. In actual fact, when I read your description of life, it is pretty much what most people would aspire to as the ultimate successful life. How deeply in illusion are we when this is our ideal, and yet the body is screaming (through ever-escalating illness and disease) that we have not got it right.
True, Jenny. To see through this ideal of the perfect life is liberating beyond words, so what Alexis is presenting here is super powerful and needs to be shared.
“which begs the question as to why we continuously choose comfort over truth” – I do this a lot, regularly choose comfort over truth but really, the comfort we choose is only momentary because in reality, as you show in your blog, it is uncomfortable state to to be in. Where as truth might seem momentarily tricky, but it is a much more solid state to be in.
Sarah what you have shared highlighted for me how my choice to choose comfort over truth (as in eating to bury feelings of discomfort), contributes to the overall haze of comfort that covers the planet.
Clear the fog of comfortability and we see what is truly happening in the world.
Love the analogy of comfort being a fog Alexis… it isn’t until we are honest about the fog that clarity begins to shine through – we start taking responsibility and our lives become evolutionary.
This is a great expose of comfort Alexis… and it shows that it is really not as comfortable as we like to believe it is!
I was not aware of this term Middle England before Alexis – middle class yes but not middle England. However I would suggest that the majority of humanity is living in this same comfort – doing the same-same every day of our lives. It has only been through Serge Benhayon’s presentations that I became aware there was such a thing as evolution in the true sense of the word.
Thanks Alexis for a wonderfully expressed blog on ‘Middle England’ and all that this terminology offers. What a revelation to discover after all that the ‘middle’ description offers no sense of the true self at all. Indeed for me it had the effect of just magnifying the emptiness/sadness that was coursing through my body constantly. At one time that sense of emptiness in the middle of all of this comfort had me wailing to the heavens ‘there has to be something else’, when that primordial cry resulted in that emptiness being filled with the instant offerings from the astral plane, and I chose what was on offer being the only alternative that I was aware of at that time – the new age treadmill. Thank God there is more of a universal level of awareness now that there is another way and that way is presented by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and The Way of The Livingness.
A brilliant article Alexis and highlights the different levels of comfort we attain over our lifetimes can truly keep us stuck in a forever pattern of stagnation. This holding pattern of sorts also places an enormous pressure on the body and how it works. Which fundamentally changes our natural flow of movements, allowing us to be open and connected to ourselves and all others in the process. Letting go of our comforts allows our bodies to surrender to their naturally beautiful ways of expressing and that is the greatest game changer around.
Comfort has nowhere to hide in your brilliant exposure Alexis, and it is anything but comfortable in truth. Having had a similarly comfortable upbringing I can relate to it being a trap of sorts as it can appear that all is well and also can been seen as ungrateful to expect more out of life. There was always an underlying knowing though, that there is more than this and there is a greater purpose for us being here.
I agree Victoria that people are considered ‘ungrateful to expect more out of life’, not only that but a person would be thought of as ungrateful to criticize what they have when ‘so many people are worse off’ than they are. What a set up!
A very brilliant article Alexis, thank you, with many great points brought to light. When we give ourselves over to comfort we give our power away to avoid feeling the truth through the many distractions, self-medications and lifestyle choices that are at our disposal. Yet what the greatest disposal of all is our connection to who we are within through our bodies, through which we are guided to know the truth at all times. If we are honest there is a list we could all right of how we self-medicate with not just food, alcohol, drugs but also with emotions, entertainment, sport and relationships to perpetuate numbing how we feel through the illusion of ‘good’ or ‘cool’ lifestyle choices. Yet the fact that everyone else is doing the same thing does not make it true and our bodies as a society are reflecting a very different story. It seems that we have misconstrued the meaning of ‘normality’ to mean something that is commonly done, rather than a quality that reflects the truth or that which is natural in essence.
“But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?” Great question Alexis. I spent my married life and until the past few years in comfort, yet when I look back I can see that it was not truly very comfortable. Although I was living comfortably being able to live a reasonable standard of life with no huge financial worries, there was something there within me that knew things were not right. So what did I do? I found things to distract me from what I was truly feeling. I buried myself in books – that was a great way to live in a fantasy world that took me away from myself. The other thing I did when I was feeling extra uncomfortable and resentful about the family etc, was to go outside in the garden and dig furiously, or other strenuous tasks that were needed there. Having made myself extremely tired, then I would come to resent things and people even more. Yet I did not truly realise the source of the great discomfort I was feeling. I was feeling such an emptiness in me, a knowing that I was far more than what I was living. Then I discovered Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, what a revelation and what a turnaround in my life! No longer empty but full of the love that was there within me all along. Yes, it took me a good deal of work over a number of years, but oh so worth while. I have so much to thank Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for, like you. Thank you for your sharing the lack of truth in living a comfortable life. A great blog.
“Comfort is a form of mummification” – well said, plus an ouch at the same time. This is very needed to hear.
So awesome Alexis! The level of responsibility you are demonstrating is second to none!
I love this line, because it gives such an accurate visual: ‘ extracting ourselves from comfort has the same momentum as running in quicksand.’ Ain’t that the truth!
With each energetic release I am noticing the stakes go up in keeping the comfort going, so a deeper commitment and responsibility is required to stay on the path of evolution.
Alexis you have perfectly described most Australians too, let alone the comfort all humans choose in some way. Reading your blog I could feel how hard we work at not seeing another way to live but instead another way to repeat the same living. Great Blog on exposing “comfort”.
Yes, it is very powerful to have been able to deal with material discomforts in life. It allows us to see what the next step is.
Brilliant blog Alexis, I absolutely love it. It really exposes a way of life I was living that didn’t make any sense. It felt empty, pointless and extremely uncomfortable. I laughed as I was reading your blog because it reminded me of exactly how I felt about my life of living in comfort, it was stifling, suffocating and void of true love. The openness and honest way you’ve expressed is so, so true and spot on and brilliantly exposes the evil of choosing comfort over evolution.
Comfort is all around us, it’s so pervasive it takes an absolute commitment to expose, And even once it’s identified it is offered repeatedly in another guise, once again to lure us back in to ‘ not rock the boat’ of the status quo.
I had got so comfortable with being comfortable it was not until meeting the Ageless Wisdom Teachings presented by Serge Benhayon did I realise that “it takes a huge amount of effort to give the appearance that nothing much is changing”. Because comfortable is so comfortable it is still a work in progress for evolution to be the living norm rather than being dragged back to comfortable
“Middle England is a very cosy place, very cosy indeed, and therein lies the problem – when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.” – To stay in comfort, the distractions and numbing behaviours need to be constant, increase when they start to not do their job or move to something else to not feel the tension or irritation and dis-ease of living in such a way.
This is brilliantly said Alexis, thank you – clearly blowing the ruse of ‘comfort’.
Welcome Alexis, from middle England to Australia, the apathy capital of the world. We have it pretty easy in that we have not been bombed or attacked. We have reasonable law and order that was laid down by those that came before us. Now all our institutions are being corrupted and/or sold off leaving only a mess with a shrug of our shoulders for the next generation.
You really do have to strain and control your movements to stay in comfort. This is very insightful and blows the lid on comfort – it really isn’t that comfortable!
Many people strive for comfort yet when you say “living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction” you have nailed comfort. Being aware of the tension comfort brings (what an oxymoron!) takes a lot of honesty. When we go there and realise this we realise that we have been sold a lie and that there is more to life that what we have been told. There is then no escaping that we are here to evolve and what evolution is about.
Nikki I agree that ‘we have been sold a lie and that there is more to life that what we have been told’, however the fact of the matter is we all know everything already, we just pretend that we don’t.
Well said. And this is a huge source of tension.
Hello Alexis, when I read the title “Middle England” I immediately think of a movie or movies. It seems like an old title, especially for England itself. Also when I had finished reading I had a sense of the repetition of a day in my life and how it looked. We can busy ourselves to get through the day and tick the boxes, have breakfast, get ready, kids to school, work, lunch, pick up kids, dinner, kids to bed, TV and bed. Then wake and do it all again, and each day can look different because it has a new title and we wear different clothes. But is there truly a difference in our day or are we just letting it pass by? Are we living or just existing? Are we here to just work until we retire, raise the kids so we can go traveling etc, what is the purpose? I feel like you have struck something here Alexis and no matter where one stands, it’s worth looking deeper into it. We settle for the ‘comforts’ of life and then wake up years down the track and wish we were younger or regret where we find ourselves. Each day or each moment is an opportunity, an opportunity to feel what is going on, in and around us. We can either choose to feel this or we can do everything else day after day to run the other way. More and more I choose to feel.
Awesome, Ray. Good to not lose sight that we have an opportunity and a choice in everything we do. Evolution or comfort, what will it be?
No matter how comfortable we make ourselves, the kernel of truth sits within us all, waiting for us to let go of, or be shaken out of, our blinding comforts and truly see and feel what is going on for our fellow man, only thence it can grow.
In the past, I never would have considered that my life was one of comfort, and would have certainly argued against this if challenged (!) – because at the time, I equated being comfortable with ‘not’ being stressed, ‘not’ having a life filled with drama, ‘not’ have issues come up in relationships etc, and my own life was full of these things! What I have now come to understand however is that the tension of temporal life (stress / drama / emotions etc,) is not the same as the tension felt when we are not truly evolving, and in this sense the tension of temporal life can be a huge distraction to what we are offered in true evolution.
Thank you Alexis for exposing the poison that is comfort. I use to think that comfort – a comfortable home, car, job, and relationship – was the goal to life. Comfort has only served to dull my awareness as you have described, yet even through this I could still feel all that was going on and knew there was more to life than comfort. Now my life is about developing a true connection with myself and all those around me.
When I first heard comfort being exposed for being anti-evolutionary I was not even capable of truly grasping the mere thought or concept, neither did I understand the true meaning of evolution, nor of comfort. Today I know from understanding and feeling that comfort seeks security and lives for self while evolution asks what is needed next for everyone equally. It takes a bit to get out of the quicksand of comfort but that’s part of the process.
Nominating this lifestyle for the comfort it is and describing it with such accuracy is very exposing of my ‘Middle Germany’ that is just the same as your ‘Middle England’, a fact that actually indicates that this kind of consciousness is not national but global. And it is just one version of comfort, it would be ignorant to assume that other social classes don´t have their versions of comfort; key to understanding comfort is to recognise its anti-evolutionary character. Bring evolution into the picture and you will know your comforts.
And it is true as you say Alexis, that letting go of our comfortable castles and idaho’s isn’t easy. We’ve set up our lives to be based on keeping this comfort going, in order to numb a deep pain. But when we do start to open up to this, when we do start to remember the glory we all once knew, yes there are tears of what we’ve walked away from. But the sadness is a mere blip in the magnificence of the love that we feel, a love that holds us as we open and discard the layers of comfort and protection that have kept us hiding from our own grand love.
This sentence stood out for me strongly in this awesome article Alexis: ‘Deep down…we can all feel the same unbearable fact and that is, that this bastardised version of life is the culmination of every single choice that we have ever made.’ This is absolutely true. There is comfort in seeing the lie going, the lie of a lesser existence than what we are meant to have. We’ve bargained for love over ourselves, over the love that we are, and are meant to live every day.
I was just thinking about repetition and how whatever we repeat becomes our normal, and once it is our normal we rarely stop to evaluate and reconsider, and in that we create behaviours that are often quite harmful without realising what we are doing. In fact we don’t want to realise because we don’t want to be responsible.
Alexis, this is a great expose of the true meaning of comfort. I too was brought up in a world such as this, and have lived most of my adult life living out this ideal. Your sentence here is an uncomfortable reflection of what I have chosen over truth: “The Truth was forever inside me but comfort lay like a blanket of fog over the top of truth, obscuring my ability to feel it clearly.” Having attended many Universal Medicine workshops and courses presented by Serge Benhayon, I have been able to see how much comfort I have chosen in this, and many past lives, to avoid living the truth of who I am. I am much closer to that truth than I ever have been, but I know there are layers of comfort that I still have to break through. My appreciation and gratitude for Serge Benhayon, who has shown me and so many others the path back to who they, is eternal.
Comfort, ahh there are whole nations of different versions of it, we love the stuff for the apparent reason that it means we don’t have to do anything differently, or be responsible for anything that happens in the world. I get it, I am a comfort monster which I am more aware of day by day, the secret comforts like being nice. It is amazing how we live this way rather than allowing the way that is also possible, as is lived by the Benhayon family. Not that they are special or anything, rather they just choose to be absolute about living their truth no matter what. Very inspirational.
Thanks for sharing about Middle England, I didn’t know the term but know exactly what you are talking about.
It is great that you have been able to see through the comfort and the illusion instead of being stuck in it.
So Beautiful Alexis. The fact is that comfort is the imprisoning walls that are much more illusive than any metal bars and physical barriers we often associate imprisonment to be. This is because comfort can be many, many lives long.
Every country has a back-log of traditions and customs, a way that it ‘has always lived’. As you say Alexis this just reflects to us our own repetition of old habits. It is what we know, what we are used to, but in truth it is no more advanced than middle earth. If we make life about evolving every day the things that we do will be deeper and different in every way, and that will be welcomed, knowing that this is only change. To be static and stay fixed is to hold onto what has gone, like a mirage of the past.
What a powerful blog. Comfort in my life has been for me to escape in my head, telling/convincing myself that this was ‘normal’, yet this allowed me to not feel what was, and is really going on in the world around me, and as it ‘prevented’ me from feeling the lovely man I am, there was little to no reason to change anything. After years of being inspired by Serge Benhayon and other students of The Livingness I found/chose the love of my soul inside of me.
I can very much relate to the comfort you are talking about here, Alexis. Comfort is so dangerous to our well-being because it is so normalised and everyone is doing the same thing. I am finding that I can no longer have the routines I have had, as they do not sit well in my body. The more I break these routines the more I can feel.
That repetition of behaviours dulls us more and more until we get shaken and woken up by an event or our bodies finally call loud enough with an illness that wakes us up. The more I listen to my body the more that repetition becomes uncomfortable and tense whereas opening up and choosing to not repeat dullness feels lighter and I feel more awake. We don’t have to wait for the shout in order to listen.
I am so very familiar with this comfort trap, which I have been running with most of my life and which is encouraged throughout society as a prized life achievement. I too have been reflecting on the way this way of living compromises the actual quality, awareness and evolution that is available to us and although I have an intention to turn it round, I find there is a strong pull back that I keep drifting into – and I very much appreciate conversations such as this blog that draw my attention to it and inspire me to deepen my resolve to choose evolution rather than comfort.
Thank you Alexis. Middle England is indeed a place of great comfort. I was born into it too. When we are surrounded by comfort there is no reason to get out of it. I love your line: “But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?” This does indeed change everything. It changes our whole perception of what life is about. Suddenly there is purpose.
‘We are all getting pulled up to constantly evolve, that is the natural order of life, therefore to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve.’ The same choices through generations, sometimes a different flavour but not coming closer to this natural order of life. To get honest,step out of our comfort and build a relationship with evolution is key to be a shining star in the universe, as we truly are .
Alexis, your blog has definitely blown the fog off this morning, as I can feel my own comfort and my uncomfortableness with hearing and reading the truth that we’ve chosen this, as in ‘this bastardised version of life is the culmination of every single choice that we have ever made’ – that is absolutely true and that’s the thing there’s no truth in comfort or no comfort in truth and that is something I know and understand but do not always want to feel, yet increasingly I’m learning and feeling my discomfort and actually the lie of my comfort, and how much that blanket that is comfort stifles truth, and stifles life. And there is way more to go here I do know, so thank you for shining a life here on our comfortable middles.
‘Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.’ We hide in the comfort of a reduced existence – deliberately calculating and mastering the art of comfort in every facet of life, so as to never feel the tension of our greater responsibility, and our greater selves.
Totally, Kylie. The irony here for me is that some people see some of the choices I’ve made for myself as restrictive or reducing my ability to live a fulfilling life, have fun, etc. But this quote and your comment really tells it like it is.
In truth everyone doesn’t want the restrictions that comfort brings, we crave to live the fullness of who we are, but can’t bear to see what happens when we open our eyes and see what is really going on.
Comfort keeps us from seeing the potential of the group! Often when things are kept comfortable there is a silent agreement in group dynamics and what will rock the boat and what won’t, it is this that stops us from seeing full transparency.
Harry, not only does ‘Comfort keep us from seeing the potential of the group’ but it also keeps us from living as a collective whole, and that is because in the world of comfort we only consider the comfort of others once we have assured our own ongoing comfort.
A great blog here Alexis, exposing how comfort is a very real buffer that reduces the capacity to see the bigger picture of things and not get disturbed or uncomfortable about is actually going on in the world. It also provides the platform of separating people, such as creating the perception of the ‘them’ and ‘us’, which is a false perception because we are all one of the same. What affects one affects us all.
The name of the game in the world of comfort is to protect and defend our own individual comfort at all costs.
I am understanding why ‘good’ can be the highest form of evil. I was raised in a middle class part of the U.S. We had plenty of food , were warm and had 2 cars, went on vacations regularly. It was a good life, by many standards.
But I have felt a deep level of unease most of my life and I chose to ignore that feeling, because my life was pretty ‘good’. That is the evil of ‘good’.
I understand now that I was totally settling for less. But I felt that it was ok because I had a ‘good’ life.
Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for supporting me to see the real truth in my life.
How cool that you know what that unease now is. I felt the same thing during a comfortable holiday – I checked out and my body was having none of it. That unease is a confirmation of comfort if we’re willing to listen.
One of the dangers of “Middle England” is that it sets the tone for all who do not yet meet with its “standards”. It pretends that it has the answers and that a “comfortable” and “educated” life is what it is all about. The fact of Middle England promotes the aspirations of the good job, the lovely middle class house and all the values associated with such a life. These things are not necessarily bad in themselves, but as you suggest Alexis – in hiding behind these things we are not honest with ourselves about what is really going on underneath, or honest really about all the dysfunction behind closed doors within our families – and there is a lot of it, it just doesn’t look as dark as in those more deprived areas, but just as dark it is!
Michelle on reflection to what you have shared ‘ all the dysfunction behind closed doors within our families – and there is a lot of it, it just doesn’t look as dark as in those more deprived areas, but just as dark it is’, I pondered if the dysfunction within comfortable homes is in some way darker, as it is not only insidious but it masquerades itself as good. A bit like a pedophile within the church or boy scouts, initially no one suspects them as they are cloaked under the guise of ‘good’.
Wowee Alexis. These are the words of a great philosopher – especially these ones – “living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.” It is a tragedy – a slow lived one as we live far less than the grandness we truly are.
Alexis coming from “Middle England” myself I can relate to absolutely everything you are sharing. I can totally relate to the “inertia in comfort” that you speak of and how we numb ourselves with the TV, theatre, concerts, wine and so on, and how underneath all of that there is a deep seated discomfort with what we have built because we know that it is not true. The exposure you offer on this is revelatory and so needed. Awesome blog.
Wow Alexis – exposing comfort for what it is! We certainly don’t have to be a Middle England to recognise the truth of your words, it happens everywhere…
The biggest achievement for many people is to build a comfortable life. However, as this blog shows that a comfortable life only numbs us to what life is really about… evolution.
Evolve ourselves to be genuine lovers, genuine members of our community and loyal companions to our friends, neighbours, family and every other human being on this planet.
Comfortability numbs us to the outside world to only feel our self created bubble.
It has taken years for me to really understand the absolute misery there is in a comfortable life. I grew up in a poor working class family where we aspired to have a comfortable life like the one that you describe in this post. What I now see is that staying stuck in a comfortable life is anti-evolution and does not support us at all.
What an exposing outing for ‘Comfort’! It is not comfortable at all and does not serve us.
To look for something greater to be or get, or to try to stay where I am, are both not truth and so it does not bring a true success. I am – as we all are – already gorgeous because we are divine by nature. To surrender to it, to go with the flow of the Universe is to accept the preciousness and sacredness we are in being, connection and awareness.
“The Truth was forever inside me but comfort lay like a blanket of fog over the top of truth, obscuring my ability to feel it clearly.” And that is the danger of comfort. When we are suffering we are looking for a change, but when we are in ‘all good’ – why should we change anything?
When I was very ill I was looking for a healing. So I did a lot to bring a change here. Later I was ‘well’ and did stay where I was…so I had to become ill again to get myself out of the sofa again, so to speak. As you say Alexis, we are made to evolve, as we belong to the Universe which forever expands, and so there is a pull to expand on us as well. To try to stay where I am does need some ‘un-natural’ energy and to call this is in is not just exhausting but hurts me. And it does not serve at all. Nobody
I guess for many from comfortable backgrounds, myself included we can often measure life according to how we are feeling ourselves, and if nothing is strikingly wrong then life is ok, if we are ill, have a disease or other disturbance life may feel a bit out of balance but not too far wrong. But maybe we need to measure life with a greater universal awareness, and that being that if we are making our lives comfortable but others are suffering then the whole spectrum of life is out of balance. And in that there cannot be the evoluton that Alexis mentions. I don’t feel that means we have to go out of our way to save the world but more act with a greater discernment of what is really going on and personally for me to be willing to call out corruption and be bolder in my willingness to act with integrity regardless of what reaction it may stoke.
Well said, here here.
We have the tendency to want to ‘better’ our life – to stay in the same energy but better it. More money, success in business, happy relationships, children, a house, a boat, whatever. But ‘better’ will not change anything. We may be satisfied by things we achieve, but at the end it will never be enough. That is because we are all connected, and as long as one of us beings is not living in harmony and love, we are all not well. Comfort is not the answer to anything and it is exhausting – as you so beautifully describe Alexis. To make my life better is not it, but to live in a way that brings and offers the love we truly are, brings a true change into all our living.
I can relate to this : “Getting out of comfort is not easy: there is an inertia built into comfort that means that extracting ourselves from comfort has the same momentum as running in quicksand.” I too was choosing a comfortable life, repeating the same choices again and again, in maybe different coverings. To come out of this quicksand it needs some conscious and consistent choices. It is not enough to want this – I have to live it. Every second, every choice counts. Me and my choices, count. To not inspire others any longer in holding onto the comfort (which is not comfortable at all), but to go for evolving, true development, to bring a true change that changes the energy that lies behind this choice, is a revolution not just for me, but for everyone who is connected to me.
Alexis – this is a very relatable blog – certainly similar to my experience of building a very comfortable life. But as you expose here – being comfortable actually takes a lot of effort – we are fighting who we naturally are. I too was raised in a middle class situation, and it is very easy to learn what comfort is and as you say – repeat things so your life is one big cushion of comfort. Attending Universal Medicine certainly took me out of that comfort zone, and I quickly felt what it was like to be exposed for all the ‘good’ and ‘comfortable’ things I’d welcomed into my life. Yes it is hard to see – but when we feel the responsibility we have to not be in comfort, when we reconnect to the purpose of us being here – well – there is no party, or exercise, or food that can numb that out.
There are lots of gems in your blog Alexis but this one stood out today ‘to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve.’ Looking closely at that commitment to resist has given me a clue as to how to get off the comfort merry-go-round. I have often said or felt ‘its too hard’ to give up certain comforts, but recently I have chosen to redirect my energy and efforts into breaking those habits that keep me distracted or numbed from the truth.
I laughed when I read about you changing from strenuous exercise to yoga. I did the very same thing thinking it was ‘better’ for me. I think I did more damage to my knees trying to get into lotus, than I did doing 4 aerobics classes per week. We swap one thing for another, but are actually on the same merry-go-round.
Alexis this is a brilliant blog. I can relate well to comfort and wanting things to stay the same, all the while, using up huge amounts of energy to ignore the truth of what’s really going on.
Wow, shaking, rattling and rolling comfort! Good on you Alexis Stewart. How uncomfortable it is to be comfortable and trying not to see how uncomfortable it is for many others.
Awesome blog exposing comfort ‘when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.’ I have never heard the phrase Middle England in that way and completely get that if we are living ‘comfortable’ lives we are less likely to question anything in life. But as you have said so clearly ‘But the truth of the matter is there is no place for comfort in truth and no truth in comfort. Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.’
It is incredible our voracious appetite for being comfortable, and how much our world economy cashes in on producing and selling comfort as a way of life or something really to aspire to and for. Thanks Alexis for sharing how you now choose truth over comfort and also for the exposure of comfort or trying to be comfortably numb so to speak.
The scary thing here is how common it is and considered normal to live in the level of comfort this blog describes so well. I love the line ‘But the truth of the matter is there is no place for comfort in truth and no truth in comfort’ – this has given me the answer to a situation at work.
I had not heard of this term “MIddle England” but it completely makes sense to me. I can also relate to what you say and recognise the comfort that we buy into in order to escape what we consider a harsh or stressful world. We literally cushion ourselves from our feelings and what is really going on. Often we get wake up calls which, depending on our awareness, can be knocking into a table or having a near fatal car crash or a diagnosis for cancer that doesn’t just happen over night but after several years of so called comfort.
Oh yes Alexis the uncomfortable comfortableness, we all know it too well! It always amuses me the images that form around the word ‘comfort’. You know chocolate, cake, hot milky sweet drinks, salty corn chips etc. But the reality is quite different, chocolate has always made me feel quite sick, cake is always disappointing, hot milky drinks used to seduced me for a moment and then make me feel all claggy, and the last time I ate salty chips they stripped my mouth so much that I couldn’t eat for a week. So much for comfort. I choose joy over comfort anytime . . . hang on it’s time for me to go internet shopping. . .
I love this blog – I was brought up in something close to the middle England category, and as you say comfort is the buzz word – why question your lifestyle when you seemingly have everything – the money to spend on healthy food and bettering your life with classes and holidays and clothes and cars – everyone would look at you and feel like you are successful, aiming to create the same comfort in their lives. And this is not to say that financial stability or nice things is the problem – it is the way we use those things to make our loves seemingly perfect, and often ignore the underlying niggle in us that can feel that no amount of comfort can fill the empty space in our lives where the truth, where our essence is not being lived. We can pour artisan coffee, the best foods, nice cars and beautiful holidays into this emptiness, we can cushion it and try to pad it out but in the end it remains until such a time that we choose truth and evolution over comfort.
So shiny is the illusion of comfort that many third world countries aspire to the comfort of countries like America.
And as recent situations like Brexit and the US election show us, those who would champion themselves as advanced, modern and leaders of society do not have it any more figured out than the rest.
Alexis, the way you describe the way we we all repeat everything and behave in the same way is like puppets, all moving with the same jagged movements and being controlled by something outside of us. The term ‘people are like sheep’ comes to mind.
Gosh was I part of middle England, I could relate to everything you said. I knew it as middle class which is still very much prevalent today, the word may not be used as much but it still very much part of the English culture. I never really enjoyed being part of middle England but I accepted the comfort it brought knowing that somehow I would always be looked after. I sought comfort and carried the arrogance that I was better off than most, and this was my belief until I met Serge Benhayon and understood the true evil in comfort. Even now it has taken me a long time to understand how much comfort runs through my veins. It takes a lot to shake comfort and sometimes it takes an illness or disease or an accident before we are willing to question our lives and what ‘comfortable’ really means.
When comfort is our goal there can be not an ounce of surrender and without surrender there can be no union with God.
Alexis I can relate to everything you share in this blog. In 1971 I was also born into, ‘Middle England’ where comfort is the name of the game. I went to private school, lived in a good sized house, had regular holidays abroad, went to university, copious friends to be with, travelled the world and got a good job in a good profession…yet I was miserable! I agree there is no truth in comfort! ‘Comfort is a form of mummification. ‘It wraps you up so tightly that it restricts every move. Having the middle class lifestyle is the ‘ideal we are sold when young and throughout our education; to get the job, house, car and family. What if we were encouraged to evolve in school and university instead…perhaps we would find truth a truer option?
Wow, Alexis, what an amazing expose. The line “Comfort is a form of mummification…” captures how all-consuming it can be. I too was ‘mummified’ for many years and can honesty say that it was only through the persistent love and reflection of the entire Benhayon family that I was able to see what I was imprisoned in. As you say, there can be no truth or evolution only going through the motions with a gnawing sense of emptiness.
For many it is hard to grasp that comfort is not it. Great to start the conversation, Alexis.
So true – it doesn’t take long before comfort doesn’t feel so comfortable.
“Comfort is a form of mummification, one that we have chosen for lifetime after lifetime,” Superb expose Alexis, comfort is our biggest killer, not only through the way we treat our bodies, but the way it kills our innate desire to evolve, to deepen our integrity and responsibility. So often we kid our selves we are evolving because our material comforts keep increasing and some of our choices change ‘for the better’. But how right you are, comfort mummifies us, dulls our perceptions, keeps us swimming round in the same tiny circles, no incentive to go deeper, to seek Truth, to re-connect to God. Everyday I appreciate all that Serge Benhayon consistently presents and represents and all the tools he relentlessly provides that empower us to climb out of our big fat comfort zones and start feeling our way back to our Truth, Evolution and Responsibility.
Beneath the surface there can be a great deal of discomfort masquerading as comfort. With walls of protection solidly in place, few are willing to admit that, despite outward appearances of material wealth and possessions, all is not well within.
The use of this splendid word to describe comfort brought up a deep chuckle from within, It says far more than numbing out!
“Comfort is a form of mummification, one that we have chosen for lifetime after lifetime, which begs the question as to why we continuously choose comfort over truth”.
When we live a comfortable life, we become time capsules! We freeze ourselves and patterns of how we live. As time marches on we may think we change; like, now we don’t drink coffee because we can get the same effect from a can of energy drink. Fighting our evolution is like standing in the river fighting the current and comfort can be a small island that can give some comfort but the current does and will erode our small sanctuary. Comfort is also like lies that constantly need to be supported, or they crumble. These all take a lot of effort to maintain. We can also give in and just go with the flow and become jetsam. Or, we swim with a purpose to discover the magic that lies within us and around the next bend!
Letting go of comforts is a choice, we can choose to indulge and resist or we can choose to go with our natural pull to evolve.
Alexis, I know how suffocating being comfortably well off can be. It does not ask anything of you or for anything to change, rather at all costs to protect the image and the ideal of how life should be. It essentially tries to keep you were you are thinking that you are doing the best you can not even considering or taking into account evolution and why we are actually here. It is as if your life is all planned ahead of you and you simply have to tick the boxes and then you will have a good life – but as you say our bodies know there is so much more.
“Comfort is a form of mummification, one that we have chosen for lifetime after lifetime, which begs the question as to why we continuously choose comfort over truth.” A very good point Alexis – one I keep coming back to, when I know I have chosen comfort. Also what energy am I in when I choose comfort? And what feelings am I trying to dull?
We have layers of comforts that keeps us away from truth and as you start to shed these layers you see there are many more to go. Reading this blog has opened my eyes to how much I am still clutching onto comfort like its my friend, which is such a lie as all it does is hold me back from being and living the real me.
Alexis, what a great exposure of comfort in our lives numbing or separating us from truth and natural living.
“The Truth was forever inside me but comfort lay like a blanket of fog over the top of truth, obscuring my ability to feel it clearly”.
I have worked in the of heart Middle England and I recognise the degree of comfort, complacency and commitment to staying with the familiar and ‘safe’ you describe Alexis. Curiously, I’ve observed a similarity between people in this and other groups living in inner-city London where I live. There may be a huge difference in the degree of wealth available to each group, but when-ever people have more than enough to eat and all material needs met: house, TV, cars, clothes, holidays, entertainment, they become comfortable and seek to look no further, than the cocoon they live in, either for their own evolution or others. This is a product of world in which a ‘good’ education and material possessions are considered markers of success, not how you live, feel, move or actively work to make the world a more loving and safer place for all.
Kehinde, the cocoon that you speak about that people spin around themselves from the mummifying threads of comfort, can come of course from wealth, TV’S, job security etc, but it can also come from abusive relationships, financial struggle, and life’s hardships, because comfort does not necessarily mean physical comfort, it can also simply mean a way of living that is so familiar to us that it seems comfortable, known, and in some ways safe.
Comfort ‘can also simply mean a way of living that is so familiar to us that it seems comfortable, known, and in some ways safe.’ Thank you Alexis for expanding our awareness of comfort and how it manifests itself in many different ways.
The web that makes up the title ‘comfortable’ holds many threads of success, having got something right, fitting in and not being a threat to those seemingly above or below – and you are right Alexis what it brings is acceptance of the status quo and with it sidestepping of all that is available to us to evolve who we truly are and the truth about what we are in the world for. Serge Benhayon has been a blessing to all those that have been able to hear the truth he is sharing and the fact that we do have a choice in the life we choose to live.
‘Middle England is a very cosy place, very cosy indeed, and therein lies the problem – when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.’ This is so true, middle England is the epitome of comfort, as afordibility is not an issue so we can hop from one comfort to the next and make it look like this is what a successful life looks like. The thing is, these comforts may appear to look good from the outside but all you need to do is scratch the surface and you can see that the constant effort to resist evolution is utterly exhausting.
What strikes me most about this blog, is how drugs and alcohol are so widely accepted in what is thought to be a comfortable existence, how they are not seen for the disastrous poisons that they are and are in fact considered as normal and part of the lifestyle. I was in this way of thinking too, supplanting one form of dullness for another, until Universal Medicine helped me to wake up not only to myself, but to the responsibilities that I had been avoiding.
Completely – but there is also booze and drugs which cater to that Middle England population referred to in the article. Comfort comes in many brands!
I ran in circles for so many years, thinking I was getting somewhere, always pursuing the latest and newest trend – a lot of money and energy was spent that is for sure, but did it offer me anything truly evolutionary – definitely not. To evolve ourselves takes a very different approach, which is challenging the comfort we are in, as is shared here, that part in us that we do not want to leave behind. It is an approach that does not stimulate or excite however it brings you an ease and deep settlement in the body.
“We may kid ourselves that we are branching out by trying something new, but often that ‘new something’ has the same flavour as pretty much everything else that we’ve always done.”
I know this so well Alexis and have fooled myself like this many times. As long as it offered the stimulation of the seemingly new having a different flavor than the usual rut I was in, it was new enough for me and I did not question it thereafter, until I realized it did not in truth offer me anything new, but by then the next exciting “new” thing was already offered and followed.
Alexis I know “middle England” extremely well, its where I hung out most of my life. Being very comfortable with just about everything in life – yet feeling constantly that something was missing. I was neither the richest or the poorest, the fattest or the thinnest, the most intelligent or the lest intelligent. The list goes on yet I thought I had the freedom to do what I wanted – however the fact is I was completely stuck, not evolving. In fact the concept of evolving was not something in my sphere or awareness at the time, life was about partying hard and what could I get out of it for me to be even more comfortable. The chopping and the changing were indeed essential distractions to help me think something has changed. In many ways middle England is one of the most dangerous traps to be caught in.
I was defo in that place too, David – for most of my life! And for me, that feeling of something missing you refer to actually feels like a tension. The trick is to recognise and acknowledge what that tension is and then make a choice to act on it.
What a great blog Alexis. Thinking we are ok just because we are not in the extreme ends of life is definitely stopping us from looking at how we are truly going. The problem of the ‘everyone does it’ gets exposed here because drinking alcohol for instance is always harmful to our bodies even if it is perceived as normal and everyone does it.
You have brought up some pretty uncomfortable thoughts into the realm of the comfortable here Alexis, as for most of us, comfort is what we strive for. I have just got back from a short break and while away witnessed comfort in its extreme. Where I seemed to be exempt from all the turmoil the world is swimming in, not sure if a lot of evolving is taking place there.
Kev if a person feels ‘exempt from all the turmoil the world is swimming in’ and this is achieved through the choices they are making, such as choosing to stay connected to their body, choosing to understand what is going on around them, choosing to breathe gently then this I feel is evolutionary. It is when we are pretend to not be influenced by what is going on around us by numbing ourselves out, that it is anti evolutionary.
Could it be that we have consciously chosen to live this lesser way of living to avoid the responsibility that is asked from us when we acknowledge that we are much more and grander then we currently live. When we consider this to be true then what do we contribute to the waywardness our societies are in and that to me is the responsibility we have to face ourselves with and to become honest with.
So true Alexis, that we use comfort to keep ourselves from evolving and that this comfortable way of life is interwoven in all aspects of life. The interesting aspect to this is the question why have we chosen for this way of life, in disconnection from our true way of being in the first place and secondly what makes us that committed to hold it while it is exhausting us?
“We are all getting pulled up to constantly evolve, that is the natural order of life, therefore to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve.” So the question is: what is comfort? It is a constant striving to stay where we are and use every distraction to bury the awareness that being stuck with the ideal of comfort is very, very uncomfortable.
Mary the ironic thing is, not only do we strive to stay in comfort but we actually strive to become even more comfortable than we currently are, the pinnacle of which is to not work and be able to have a cocktail by the pool whenever we feel like it!
“Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.”
This is very true. To take a whole and reduce it down to many parts and have them behave in a way that means not only can they not see the whole that are an inescapable part of, but also not see that they are each an equal part of a whole that holds them all, is indeed a great tragedy. It is in such separation that the seed of evil lies, comfort is its calling card and we the tiny fragments that have lost their way.
This is a brilliant dissection of the discomfort that comfort brings and it certainly serves to break the belief we are held by that a comfortable life is one to aspire to. There will come a time in everyone’s life, whether this life or those yet to be lived, where we will clearly see that there is a choice to be made between evolution and comfort. I love the analogy of comfort being like walking in a wind tunnel, it is so apt for it really gives us a sense of the force we have to call upon to resist our natural pull to evolve. To evolve is simply to give up the fight and return to the love that we are. And while this is not always easy in the sense that we have become caught up in a love-less way of living and identified by our ingrained behaviours that do nothing to truly evolve us, there is a great joy in knowing that we are choosing to move in sync with and not against the Universe we are a glorious part of. Great blog Alexis, thank you.
I absolutely love the way you write Alexis. I can see I’ve lived aspiring to comfort believing it would deliver me from the tension I felt and yet the more comfortable I became the more I had the sense that this was not ‘it’. Your blog helps me bring far more understanding to the futility of comfort and security.
I always love reading your blogs Alexis, thank you for the exposure on comfort. What I feel to add is that our levels of comfort are always changing. What was living in comfort for me 5 years, or even one year, or even one week ago is different to what feels like it is comfort today. Although I am no longer doing that long list of things that you shared such as sugar, alcohol, strenuous exercise etc. comfort this week for me is not bringing all of who I am to every single situation and in every moment. That is comfort. Until I live the real me and me in all my fullness there will be varying degrees of comfort to continue to unravel.
Donna I love the detail that you have brought in here. I agree that as we evolve, so too does our idea of comfort. In fact I feel it’s true to say that as we evolve our relationship with every-thing changes; life is both a constant refining and a constant re-defining.
I have often wondered why it was so hard to break out of a pattern that had me firmly stuck in a holding pattern of what I now know to be comfort, and you have finally given me the answer why Alexis. It was because “extracting ourselves from comfort has the same momentum as running in quicksand”. Brilliant description – and so very true as comfort feels so sticky, so persuasive and so very familiar that making the choice to extract one’s self from it needs to accompanied by a clear and strong commitment, and a steady and unwavering consistency; the two main ingredients I have found that are needed to get out of the quicksand and out of the comfort, and into life.
When I read this title I felt like I would enter a tale of olden times. And though your story it is not that old and written in a fashionable modern way the message you bring is that of an old tale, in the sense that it is something that we as a humanity have done for many many years, to repeat patterns for generation that do not serve us as a whole but let us sit in our own little bubble that makes us feel exclusive but detached from the rest of the world. It is time to step out of the fog and see the rest of the world and bring our hands to what needs to be done that serves us all and not only a few.
Alexis Middle England sounds a lot like Middle Australia where I live. It is not comfortable to live in this ‘comfort’, but I can relate to the inertia that exists when it comes to change. Nothing Middle Australia offers can match that which awaits inside.
Thank you Alexis, this is a great wake up call in how we literally live ourselves in numbness and an ill cycle of stuck-ness by repeating things in our life that are not true to us. It makes me aware how very important it is to allow myself to step out of the cycles that I know are not true to me even though they feel so familiar and comfortable.
Wow! Alexis, this blog is brilliant! Beautifully crafted, holding of the reader and packed with wisdom and revelation – I loved it!