In 1966 I was born into what is commonly known as ‘Middle England’. For those who are not familiar with this term, it is not a geographical location; Middle England is used to describe a particular class of people in England. People in ‘Middle England’ are characterised by the fact that they are neither rich nor poor, they are what is known as ‘comfortably off’. In fact, not only are they ‘comfortably off’ but they are ‘comfortably everything’. Comfort is a defining factor in nearly every aspect of life in ‘Middle England’. There are of course exceptions to the rule, but I shall talk about what makes up life for the majority of the people in Middle England, for I am one of them.
We tend to be well educated, not boffins by any stretch of the imagination, but our parents instilled in us the importance of doing well at school. A good education, a good job and a good life are all intrinsically linked in Middle England. In fact we see ourselves as ‘good’ people. We have enough money for it to not be an issue. We can afford family holidays, school fees, clothes with ‘labels’ and a couple of cars.
Middle England is a very cosy place, very cosy indeed, and therein lies the problem – when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave. We settle into comfortable jobs, comfortable friendships, hobbies that bring us comfort and comfortable marriages. What adds to our idea that comfort is a goal of life is that we compare ourselves to the majority of the world’s population who are struggling with the day to day basics such as food and water and we feel very privileged and lucky to be living the way that we do…
But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?
Ah, now that changes… everything!
I have spent many years feeling what is commonly considered as ‘comfortable’. However what I now know is that feeling ‘comfortable’ actually took a considerable amount of effort because my body did not feel naturally comfortable at all. In fact my body was pretty irritated and uncomfortable most of the time, but due to the array of medications that I chose to administer myself, I rarely got to feel the full force of my discomfort.
I drank coffee to pep me up, I exercised strenuously to take the edge off my gnawing irritation, I ate sugar to rev me a little, I smoked marijuana to stifle my anger – oh, and my anger was to stifle my sadness, I had boyfriends to cover up my low self esteem, I overate to dull my awareness, I watched a lot of really crap telly to simply zone out and I partied hard in order to completely and utterly obliterate my ability to feel anything other than high. There is nothing that I have listed here that is unusual, in fact all of this is considered very normal for people who consider that they have a comfortable way of life – how else do we maintain the facade of comfort?
Repetition goes hand in hand with comfort. What is it that we repeat? Well, we repeat everything: we say the same things to the same people in the same way, we behave exactly the same with the same people, we do the same things at the same time in the same way, we eat and drink the same things, we smoke the same things and ingest the same things, we move in the same way, we think the same thoughts that we have always done and very often all of these things are actually very similar to the way in which the generation before us chose to do things.
We may kid ourselves that we are branching out by trying something new, but often that ‘new something’ has the same flavour as pretty much everything else that we’ve always done.
For example, I replaced strenuous gym work with strenuous yoga, thinking that I was bettering myself, oblivious to the fact that I was replacing one medication for another. I replaced marijuana with meditation, again thinking that I was doing something better and missing the fact that they both served the same purpose and that was to prevent me from feeling what I was feeling.
The Truth was forever inside me but comfort lay like a blanket of fog over the top of truth, obscuring my ability to feel it clearly.
Getting out of comfort is not easy: there is an inertia built into comfort that means that extracting ourselves from comfort has the same momentum as running in quicksand.
But the truth of the matter is there is no place for comfort in truth and no truth in comfort.
Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.
It is a misconception to think that living a life of comfort is actually easy – it takes a huge amount of effort to give the appearance that nothing much is changing. If you look at a man walking in a wind tunnel, it may appear as if he is not moving at all but he is actually having to work very hard at staying where he is because he is working against the force of the wind. We are all getting pulled up to constantly evolve, that is the natural order of life, therefore to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve.
Comfort is a form of mummification, one that we have chosen for lifetime after lifetime, which begs the question as to why we continuously choose comfort over truth. Deep down (whether conscious or not) we can all feel the same unbearable fact and that is, that this bastardised version of life is the culmination of every single choice that we have ever made. If we owned up to this fact then we would all be called to account, and that is something that most of us aren’t prepared to let happen, therefore we often choose comfort because it feels much easier to simply put the telly on and have a beer: avoidance is our default setting, and although it muddies our perception, it can’t actually prevent us from feeling the truth of all things.
I am forever grateful to Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon Family and to the Universal Medicine Student Body for their commitment to both the truth and to love. I have been continuously inspired to make different choices, and those choices have led to an increase in awareness, a deeper understanding of life, and to begin the process of dispersing my own fog of comfort.
By Alexis Stewart, Dedicated Student of The Way of The Livingness, Partner to an amazing man, Mum to a beautiful boy, Yoga Teacher, Disability Care Worker, Sydney
How Hard is it to Change?
Comfort | Unimedpedia
Countries in Comfort
644 thoughts on “Middle England”
Yes thank God for Serge Benhayon and his family showing us a different way to live, ‘their commitment to both the truth and to love. I have been continuously inspired to make different choices, and those choices have led to an increase in awareness’.
Comparison is the evil twin of comfort and when we understand how to energetically appreciate who we are, and we start to feel the same in others and thus live in a way that is continually confirming with authority how we appreciate all that God has given us all, our lives become purpose-full.
It was great for me to read this blog because what I could feel is how years ago I would ‘know’ the word evolution but not truly know what this was. Years ago evolution to me meant how the world has evolved up until now, and then that is pretty much it for where or how can we evolve now? Maybe technology or refining certain things etc but it felt that we had reached a point that, that was it! How duped was I!? And yes I can see this goes hand in hand with comfort because if there is comfort then we just ‘cruise’ along in our comfortable lives not looking for anything else. Evolution to me now means so much more. It is about our very essence, our purpose of being here on earth, where we have come from and what choices do we make to truly move forward energetically to be with our Soul. So evolution to me is not actually going forward at all but instead returning to our truth and who we truly are ✨
and the ‘hierarchical ladder’ that you speak about Vicky is a well worn tool of the astral forces to keep our eyes eternally fixed on the horizon rather than what’s inside. As you say we erroneously believe that evolution means to progress in a forwards movement and this ‘forwards movement’ is one that we seek in pretty much everything that we do, we want to move up the corporate ladder, we want to get better at sport, we want to earn more money, we want to look better, we see life as a progression, both forwards and upwards but true progression is an inwards, a back towards, a return to something that we have all been already and that is The Consciousness of God, an inner expansion.
Very much so Vicky, ‘ evolution to me is not actually going forward at all but instead returning to our truth and who we truly are’.
We find comfort in repetition but there is a pull to not repeat. Like the man in the wind tunnel we are being called to move but there is a lot of energy and effort being used up to stay put. What could that energy be used for if it wasn’t being spent on staying put?
We find comfort in familiarity, in repetition, but that’s like just staying stuck on the hamster wheel, going round and round coming back to the same spot with nothing having changed. A lot of effort, all for no purpose.
‘We are all getting pulled up to constantly evolve, that is the natural order of life, therefore to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve.’ Love reading this – it’s an ouch but one worth paying full attention to. Rather than let the travelator take you to your next destination, you’re walking in the opposite direction to stand in the same place. It’s hard work!
Karin it was good to be reminded of this myself. I have had a compulsive behaviour since I was a teenager and I’m very aware that each time that I repeat the behaviour (it’s actually more than one, as it is the compulsion to check things, like that I have my wallet in my bag) I am basically making the statement that I am stuck in the past and haven’t moved on. So the question that I have to myself is ‘where am I choosing to locate myself through my choices, in the repetition of the past or in the slipstream of evolution?’
‘When something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave’. Well said Alexis for what is unfortunate about the comfort mentality is that we are so comfortable with the status quo we don’t grow and live to our potential.
In a way having a super comfortable life can be a hindrance, because it is so comfortable there is no impulse to leave that behind and seek out a new way of living that is potentially more evolving and loving.
You know when you hear things quite a lot and then you allow yourself to really hear it. This – “avoidance is our default setting, and although it muddies our perception, it can’t actually prevent us from feeling the truth of all things.” – I get, I have/do a lot/some avoidance “thinking that I am getting away with it” but in truth, we are not….we can never get away with actually feeling the truth of things. We can try and bury / avoid the truth, but it is always there.
It is ‘always there Sarah’ and thank God for that because it is actually Him that is there always.
Brilliant piece Alexis. Indeed it takes a huge effort to get out of comfort, I recognize that, as I am still working myself out of it. But then once you are out, it feels actually light and fiery, and you wonder why you stayed in the mud for so long.
Yes Willem, now that I’ve managed to extricate myself from a job that I’ve been doing forever, and one that offered me no challenge whatsoever, I feel liberated and alive and can see how the belief that I was ‘lucky to have such a cushy job’ was actually not true at all, as it kept me stuck in the quicksand of comfort.
If we would feel into the energy of comfort, we would start to detest comfort. It is sticky and slimy and holds us back to be in our full power.
Willem, I couldn’t agree more. Having just stepped into a managerial role after 25 years of hiding in the backwaters, I can feel my potential being unleashed.
I did the same Alexis after all those years of hiding and living a comfortable life i now have a great job with lots of challenges on the way but there is not one ounce of anxiety in my body, such a change from proving myself and wanting recognition. I did not ever feel this joy to work before.
Brilliant expose on the comfort of middle class. I could relate to everything, especially the fact that when you think you have ‘it’, especially when compared to people who are ‘struggling’ there is no incentive to change. It’s like living in a bubble where everything may not be perfect, but it is at least known and secure. However I have found trying to come out of the fog of comfort is hard work, which shows how deeply invested I have been in it, rather than living in a way that is true to myself.
I have recently come out of the deepest of comforts. A veritable feather bed that I constructed for myself at work, lined with duck down. I have swapped that snuggly buggley bed for a managerial role and holy smolly I am well and truly out of my comfort zone. It’s challenging, confronting, difficult, enjoyable, stressful and confirming, all at the same time but more than anything I can feel the potential evolution, whereas before there was none, there was just a kind of cosy suffocation.
Good point Fiona, comparison keeps us in the comfort. We know our life is not right, but we kid ourselves that we are better off. The evil of comparison.
Comfort is whatever tickles your fancy, and because there is no truth in that choice, anything goes, really, it doesn’t even have to look comfortable to others – but there is an unspoken agreement that says ‘No boat rocking’. And anything that would remotely hint that we are really just kidding ourselves and proudly being the receiver of a booby prize, would be the target of attack.
Comfort fights intensely to be kept in the status quo, we do not want to be evolving we want to keep what is familiar and our nails claw to not let this change, we lose all that is connection and fight for our life, it’s ugly but true.
I can relate to this so well even though I wasn’t born in middle England, but my life was exactly what you shared although from young I rebelled against it, but while growing up I gave up and gave in to the huge pressure folding in until I connected back to my soul and enough was enough.
“the facade of comfort” living in what we ‘think’ is comfort can be very uncomfortable as there is always the pull that there is something so much more to be.
Living in comfort can be equally uncomfortable, as at the same time there can be the pull that there has to be more than what is currently seen, and felt.
We can either to choose to connect or disconnect from each moment, and living for comfort and security is not bringing ourselves to a moment to evolve.
‘Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.’ Ouch… that is a great reminder Alexis, when we choose comfort we are closing the door on any opportunity to learn and grow – we delay our evolution big time.
The very nature of evolution is expansion and the very nature of comfort is contraction. They are therefore mutually exclusive.
The blanket of comfort is a quite terrifying chain around our ankles that we live with and often don’t even notice. For me it a horror because it caps, in fact I could probably say stops, my ability to be curious and without curiosity I accept what I see and do as normal without discerning if my body is at ease with it or not.
Comfort to evolution is like being suffocated with a pillow.
It is so easy to fall for the belief that we are so much better off now in our ‘modern world’ with all our ‘creature comforts’ and technology to make life easier for us compared to in the past when we lived a more simple life. But what if what we have are involved in a grand illusion, and perhaps in the past there were times where things looked ‘primitive’ compared to the techno world we live in now, but were actually much more advanced because we were living in a more simple way that was connected to each other, working in harmony with Nature and within our society, and most importantly felt a deeper connection with our souls and thus the rest of the Universe, which made this way of living in Brotherhood possible.
We’ve been so bamboozled by technology that we now equate advancement in technology with advancement in evolution when really, there is no living link between the two.