Middle England

In 1966 I was born into what is commonly known as ‘Middle England’. For those who are not familiar with this term, it is not a geographical location; Middle England is used to describe a particular class of people in England. People in ‘Middle England’ are characterised by the fact that they are neither rich nor poor, they are what is known as ‘comfortably off’. In fact, not only are they ‘comfortably off’ but they are ‘comfortably everything’. Comfort is a defining factor in nearly every aspect of life in ‘Middle England’. There are of course exceptions to the rule, but I shall talk about what makes up life for the majority of the people in Middle England, for I am one of them.

We tend to be well educated, not boffins by any stretch of the imagination, but our parents instilled in us the importance of doing well at school. A good education, a good job and a good life are all intrinsically linked in Middle England. In fact we see ourselves as ‘good’ people. We have enough money for it to not be an issue. We can afford family holidays, school fees, clothes with ‘labels’ and a couple of cars.

Middle England is a very cosy place, very cosy indeed, and therein lies the problem – when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave. We settle into comfortable jobs, comfortable friendships, hobbies that bring us comfort and comfortable marriages. What adds to our idea that comfort is a goal of life is that we compare ourselves to the majority of the world’s population who are struggling with the day to day basics such as food and water and we feel very privileged and lucky to be living the way that we do…

But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?

Ah, now that changes… everything!

I have spent many years feeling what is commonly considered as ‘comfortable’. However what I now know is that feeling ‘comfortable’ actually took a considerable amount of effort because my body did not feel naturally comfortable at all. In fact my body was pretty irritated and uncomfortable most of the time, but due to the array of medications that I chose to administer myself, I rarely got to feel the full force of my discomfort.

I drank coffee to pep me up, I exercised strenuously to take the edge off my gnawing irritation, I ate sugar to rev me a little, I smoked marijuana to stifle my anger – oh, and my anger was to stifle my sadness, I had boyfriends to cover up my low self esteem, I overate to dull my awareness, I watched a lot of really crap telly to simply zone out and I partied hard in order to completely and utterly obliterate my ability to feel anything other than high. There is nothing that I have listed here that is unusual, in fact all of this is considered very normal for people who consider that they have a comfortable way of life – how else do we maintain the facade of comfort?

Repetition goes hand in hand with comfort. What is it that we repeat? Well, we repeat everything: we say the same things to the same people in the same way, we behave exactly the same with the same people, we do the same things at the same time in the same way, we eat and drink the same things, we smoke the same things and ingest the same things, we move in the same way, we think the same thoughts that we have always done and very often all of these things are actually very similar to the way in which the generation before us chose to do things.

We may kid ourselves that we are branching out by trying something new, but often that ‘new something’ has the same flavour as pretty much everything else that we’ve always done.

For example, I replaced strenuous gym work with strenuous yoga, thinking that I was bettering myself, oblivious to the fact that I was replacing one medication for another. I replaced marijuana with meditation, again thinking that I was doing something better and missing the fact that they both served the same purpose and that was to prevent me from feeling what I was feeling.

The Truth was forever inside me but comfort lay like a blanket of fog over the top of truth, obscuring my ability to feel it clearly.

Getting out of comfort is not easy: there is an inertia built into comfort that means that extracting ourselves from comfort has the same momentum as running in quicksand.

But the truth of the matter is there is no place for comfort in truth and no truth in comfort.

Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.

It is a misconception to think that living a life of comfort is actually easy – it takes a huge amount of effort to give the appearance that nothing much is changing. If you look at a man walking in a wind tunnel, it may appear as if he is not moving at all but he is actually having to work very hard at staying where he is because he is working against the force of the wind. We are all getting pulled up to constantly evolve, that is the natural order of life, therefore to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve.

Comfort is a form of mummification, one that we have chosen for lifetime after lifetime, which begs the question as to why we continuously choose comfort over truth. Deep down (whether conscious or not) we can all feel the same unbearable fact and that is, that this bastardised version of life is the culmination of every single choice that we have ever made. If we owned up to this fact then we would all be called to account, and that is something that most of us aren’t prepared to let happen, therefore we often choose comfort because it feels much easier to simply put the telly on and have a beer: avoidance is our default setting, and although it muddies our perception, it can’t actually prevent us from feeling the truth of all things.

I am forever grateful to Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon Family and to the Universal Medicine Student Body for their commitment to both the truth and to love. I have been continuously inspired to make different choices, and those choices have led to an increase in awareness, a deeper understanding of life, and to begin the process of dispersing my own fog of comfort.

By Alexis Stewart, Dedicated Student of The Way of The Livingness, Partner to an amazing man, Mum to a beautiful boy, Yoga Teacher, Disability Care Worker, Sydney   

Further Reading:
How Hard is it to Change?
Comfort | Unimedpedia
Countries in Comfort

675 thoughts on “Middle England

  1. Comparison is the evil twin of comfort and when we understand how to energetically appreciate who we are, and we start to feel the same in others and thus live in a way that is continually confirming with authority how we appreciate all that God has given us all, our lives become purpose-full.

  2. It was great for me to read this blog because what I could feel is how years ago I would ‘know’ the word evolution but not truly know what this was. Years ago evolution to me meant how the world has evolved up until now, and then that is pretty much it for where or how can we evolve now? Maybe technology or refining certain things etc but it felt that we had reached a point that, that was it! How duped was I!? And yes I can see this goes hand in hand with comfort because if there is comfort then we just ‘cruise’ along in our comfortable lives not looking for anything else. Evolution to me now means so much more. It is about our very essence, our purpose of being here on earth, where we have come from and what choices do we make to truly move forward energetically to be with our Soul. So evolution to me is not actually going forward at all but instead returning to our truth and who we truly are ✨

    1. and the ‘hierarchical ladder’ that you speak about Vicky is a well worn tool of the astral forces to keep our eyes eternally fixed on the horizon rather than what’s inside. As you say we erroneously believe that evolution means to progress in a forwards movement and this ‘forwards movement’ is one that we seek in pretty much everything that we do, we want to move up the corporate ladder, we want to get better at sport, we want to earn more money, we want to look better, we see life as a progression, both forwards and upwards but true progression is an inwards, a back towards, a return to something that we have all been already and that is The Consciousness of God, an inner expansion.

  3. We find comfort in repetition but there is a pull to not repeat. Like the man in the wind tunnel we are being called to move but there is a lot of energy and effort being used up to stay put. What could that energy be used for if it wasn’t being spent on staying put?

    1. We find comfort in familiarity, in repetition, but that’s like just staying stuck on the hamster wheel, going round and round coming back to the same spot with nothing having changed. A lot of effort, all for no purpose.

  4. ‘We are all getting pulled up to constantly evolve, that is the natural order of life, therefore to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve.’ Love reading this – it’s an ouch but one worth paying full attention to. Rather than let the travelator take you to your next destination, you’re walking in the opposite direction to stand in the same place. It’s hard work!

    1. Karin it was good to be reminded of this myself. I have had a compulsive behaviour since I was a teenager and I’m very aware that each time that I repeat the behaviour (it’s actually more than one, as it is the compulsion to check things, like that I have my wallet in my bag) I am basically making the statement that I am stuck in the past and haven’t moved on. So the question that I have to myself is ‘where am I choosing to locate myself through my choices, in the repetition of the past or in the slipstream of evolution?’

  5. ‘When something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave’. Well said Alexis for what is unfortunate about the comfort mentality is that we are so comfortable with the status quo we don’t grow and live to our potential.

    1. In a way having a super comfortable life can be a hindrance, because it is so comfortable there is no impulse to leave that behind and seek out a new way of living that is potentially more evolving and loving.

  6. You know when you hear things quite a lot and then you allow yourself to really hear it. This – “avoidance is our default setting, and although it muddies our perception, it can’t actually prevent us from feeling the truth of all things.” – I get, I have/do a lot/some avoidance “thinking that I am getting away with it” but in truth, we are not….we can never get away with actually feeling the truth of things. We can try and bury / avoid the truth, but it is always there.

  7. Brilliant piece Alexis. Indeed it takes a huge effort to get out of comfort, I recognize that, as I am still working myself out of it. But then once you are out, it feels actually light and fiery, and you wonder why you stayed in the mud for so long.

    1. Yes Willem, now that I’ve managed to extricate myself from a job that I’ve been doing forever, and one that offered me no challenge whatsoever, I feel liberated and alive and can see how the belief that I was ‘lucky to have such a cushy job’ was actually not true at all, as it kept me stuck in the quicksand of comfort.

      1. I did the same Alexis after all those years of hiding and living a comfortable life i now have a great job with lots of challenges on the way but there is not one ounce of anxiety in my body, such a change from proving myself and wanting recognition. I did not ever feel this joy to work before.

  8. Brilliant expose on the comfort of middle class. I could relate to everything, especially the fact that when you think you have ‘it’, especially when compared to people who are ‘struggling’ there is no incentive to change. It’s like living in a bubble where everything may not be perfect, but it is at least known and secure. However I have found trying to come out of the fog of comfort is hard work, which shows how deeply invested I have been in it, rather than living in a way that is true to myself.

    1. I have recently come out of the deepest of comforts. A veritable feather bed that I constructed for myself at work, lined with duck down. I have swapped that snuggly buggley bed for a managerial role and holy smolly I am well and truly out of my comfort zone. It’s challenging, confronting, difficult, enjoyable, stressful and confirming, all at the same time but more than anything I can feel the potential evolution, whereas before there was none, there was just a kind of cosy suffocation.

  9. Comfort is whatever tickles your fancy, and because there is no truth in that choice, anything goes, really, it doesn’t even have to look comfortable to others – but there is an unspoken agreement that says ‘No boat rocking’. And anything that would remotely hint that we are really just kidding ourselves and proudly being the receiver of a booby prize, would be the target of attack.

  10. Comfort fights intensely to be kept in the status quo, we do not want to be evolving we want to keep what is familiar and our nails claw to not let this change, we lose all that is connection and fight for our life, it’s ugly but true.

  11. I can relate to this so well even though I wasn’t born in middle England, but my life was exactly what you shared although from young I rebelled against it, but while growing up I gave up and gave in to the huge pressure folding in until I connected back to my soul and enough was enough.

  12. “the facade of comfort” living in what we ‘think’ is comfort can be very uncomfortable as there is always the pull that there is something so much more to be.

  13. We can either to choose to connect or disconnect from each moment, and living for comfort and security is not bringing ourselves to a moment to evolve.

  14. ‘Living a life of comfort is to live a life of reduction and that is nothing short of a tragedy.’ Ouch… that is a great reminder Alexis, when we choose comfort we are closing the door on any opportunity to learn and grow – we delay our evolution big time.

  15. The blanket of comfort is a quite terrifying chain around our ankles that we live with and often don’t even notice. For me it a horror because it caps, in fact I could probably say stops, my ability to be curious and without curiosity I accept what I see and do as normal without discerning if my body is at ease with it or not.

  16. It is so easy to fall for the belief that we are so much better off now in our ‘modern world’ with all our ‘creature comforts’ and technology to make life easier for us compared to in the past when we lived a more simple life. But what if what we have are involved in a grand illusion, and perhaps in the past there were times where things looked ‘primitive’ compared to the techno world we live in now, but were actually much more advanced because we were living in a more simple way that was connected to each other, working in harmony with Nature and within our society, and most importantly felt a deeper connection with our souls and thus the rest of the Universe, which made this way of living in Brotherhood possible.

    1. We’ve been so bamboozled by technology that we now equate advancement in technology with advancement in evolution when really, there is no living link between the two.

  17. Cosy-ness gives us a false sense of what is ‘it’ that instills our movements and gives us a false sense of freedom that is very difficult to admit. This can only be seen when you register in your body how does true freedom in movements feel like.

  18. I totally get what you are sharing here about how being comfortable is so not it but it is also our default desire to be comfortable rather than truly align to evolution.

  19. These two statements stood out for me and much to ponder on, “when something is so comfortable, there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave” and “But what if life isn’t about being comfortable – what if life is about evolution?” Could we really digest this because we are either of these – where are you?

  20. Whilst you were born in ‘Middle England’, I was born in a village in India and raised in the Midlands of England. I was bought up in struggle, and this struggle remained within me for many years. From time to time it tries to sneak in and I know that this is just an illusion to make me less when I know I more than this. Materialistic things are not the answer too, there is nothing more priceless than finding the true love that I am and this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine too – I am forever grateful for re-discovering who I truely am.

  21. It is staggering the amount of effort required to maintain the facade of comfort that so many settle for and it is only by examining the choices we are making and becoming aware of how this cements us in a way of life that has to be constantly maintained, that we can start to make different choices and emerge from under our blanket of comfort and choose the path of evolution in which there is no room for comfort.

    1. We continually seek ‘things’ to numb ourselves to remain in comfort, ‘they both served the same purpose and that was to prevent me from feeling what I was feeling.’

  22. ‘Middle England’ is very much like ‘Middle Earth’, a term used by Tolkein to indicate a state of comfort and the status quo. In this land people love their comfort, whether it is the latest trendy this or that, or their wine and dinner parties, or their Sunday morning with croissants and coffee along with a ;Good Weekend’ style newspaper supplement. In hobbit land( ‘Hobbiton’) comfort is double breakfasts, a continually singing kettle, and cake-filled afternoon teas, and described as ‘‘a wise respectable country inhabited by decent folk, with good roads, an inn or two’. After his huge adventure out into the world to face the giant spiders (complication), goblins (resistance, nastiness, brutality) and trolls (well we all know what they are), Bilbo Baggins comes back to Hobbiton but now no one wants to know him. He cannot have his old life back because he has grown and evolved in himself and the inhabitants of Hobbiton no longer recognise him, and treat him as a suspicious stranger. This is why so many people seek the comfort of comfort, so that they will be acceptable to the population around them.

    1. Not wanting to stand out plays a massive part in keeping the status quo but when the status quo is a stagnant millpond of lies (and we know that it is), it speaks volumes about the ‘set-up’ that we have purposefully set up.

      1. Yes Alexis, the spirit has deliberately buried itself in lie upon lie and the ‘status quo’ is a polluted conglomeration of those lies which are constantly kept together and operating to maintain the comfort the spirit so desperately needs for its separated existence.

    2. Wow that is an awesome revelation Lindy, I remember that part of the LOTR movie and hadn’t put it together like you have done. Brilliant observation of life and why we want to stay in comfort.

  23. “when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.” However, even while living in the illusion of comfort that is a powerful knowing that there is something missing.

  24. Living a life of comfort is a great way to mask our awareness and hence we feel comfortable being comfortable, yet when we start to feel the truth we realise that we can no longer live in the comfort that we did, and taking responsibility for our choices is a great start.

    1. Discomfort is a great sign of increased awareness. How different would our lives be if we actively avoided comfort and instead sort discomfort? Not so as to make life miserable but to always be looking at increasing our awareness and thereby forever going deeper into life.

  25. Feeling comfortable is a lot like lying. It becomes our illusion and is something that has to be constantly fed, or it crashes around us. Evolution is about making choices. Choosing to stand still evolves no one.

    1. So true feeding the illusion is a huge distraction and leaves no space for evolution.

  26. ‘Middle England is a very cosy place, very cosy indeed, and therein lies the problem – when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.’ I am feeling that whatever situation one is brought up in, the comfort of the ingrained attitudes and rounds would be enough to keep one going around and around like a cracked record. But the ‘middle’ may well be one of the trickiest situations to emerge from. Personally speaking, although I had a reasonably ‘comfortable’ childhood (financially) and a super easy childhood relationship-wise, I was still appalled by the world situation and this in itself made me question the very fabric of society and its raison d’être. But it wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon and saw his presentations that I realised the depths of danger in ‘comfort’.

    1. Yeah it is easy to miss how devolving our norm of comfort is. We stop seeing anything for what it truly is. At least a drug addict knows their life is not it. Whereas when we are comfortable we can easily think we are all good.

  27. The mere fact that there are massive levels of alcohol, drug abuse, extreme sport activities and a lust for escapism in and amongst the middle classes of countries all over the world, shows what Alexis has accurately revealed here, in that there is absolutely no true comfort in living in a way that never challenges the status quo, or the security-driven mindset that rules it.

    1. We all know that Life is designed to expand constantly and that our true purpose is to support life to do exactly that and so what kind of a strange life have we set up here on Earth, when we are all so desperate for nothing to truely change? and how much force do we have to constantly apply to resist the natural pull of the Universe?

      1. Yes and we feed that resistance with trying to fill the emptiness. All too often we think the expansion is through education, ‘bettering’ ourselves so we can be more aware, when in fact, awareness comes from deepening our relationship with our bodies. This costs nothing and asks us to go nowhere fancy, but to be constantly curious about the communication. This is not wildly popular because comfort and curiosity don’t like each other too much.

      2. The only time that comfort and curiosity like each other is when we get curious about what’s on telly and what we can snack on while we watch it.

      3. Ha ha so true!!! And we see this as free choice but whenever we look at healthy eating programs one of the biggest barriers to an intervention working is the TV time because it is so associated with snacking!

      4. There is certainly much resistance for us all to evolve, ‘We are all getting pulled up to constantly evolve, that is the natural order of life, therefore to keep repeating the same choices year after year takes constant commitment to resist the pull to evolve.’

    2. Suicide is the leading cause of death world wide. It is safe to say that these souls cannot bear how awful life is and how we are missing the connection to the greater aspects of life and the universe. We all know the truth.

  28. “Repetition goes hand in hand with comfort.”- The repetition of behaviours based on a familiarity of those choices brings about a false sense of what is ‘normal’ and thus accepted by the masses, even if those choices have lead us all more and more astray from understanding and living from our true inner essence, power, and potential.

    1. One day we will all realise that what we have come to accept and even embrace as ‘normal’ is actually abnormal and even abhorrent to all of us when we are living from truth.

      1. That day seems a long long way off, but when I think I’m the not to distant future we will look at this particular phase of humanity with particular abhorrence for its normal is so destructive to our being-ness.

  29. Being comfortable is like being very good in avoiding being challenged. To do this we need to numb ourselves quite a lot with food, watching TV, alchohol or drugs and also ticking the boxes like having a job, a family etc so we don’t need to go out there and really be ourselves in the world.

      1. Yes being ourselves is the answer to our woes in the first place, comfort and everything associated with it is an endless vicious cycle until we step off and return to being ourselves.

    1. There is a saying about boiling a frog, if you do it slowly it will just lie there and be boiled to death, but if you were to place it in boiling water it would hop straight out. This is the evil of comfort you just keep doing it until it eventually kills you.

  30. I was part of middle England too and can relate to your blog Alexis it was very much my life too and your words ” – when something is so comfortable there is little incentive to question it, let alone leave.” is very true and why most of humanity don’t question comfort, why would we, it is what everyone strives for, a comfortable life. I used to question my life enough to feel it was going no where and I was just going along with what I thought life should, but I never wanted to be honest enough to question the comforts I had put in place to make sure I didn’t feel uncomfortable enough to really question what life was really about. Thank God for Serge Benhayon for his unwavering commitment to showing us the many lies and falsities that we live under that hold us back from opening our eyes to the truth.

    1. Yes thank God for Serge Benhayon and his family showing us a different way to live, ‘their commitment to both the truth and to love. I have been continuously inspired to make different choices, and those choices have led to an increase in awareness’.

  31. The thing with comfort is that we can be quite happy there as everything is ok. Looking at ourselves and way of life may not come to the forefront as nothing is wrong. And this is where the evil lies – in our apathy.

    1. Comfort does not necessarily mean that everything is ok. Many people are very comfortable being unhappy and actually more comfortable when things are painful and difficult than when things start ‘going well’ for them. Comfort refers much more to what we’re used to, rather than to something being ok.

  32. This is a beautiful expose on the comfort we have all chosen, all around the world. The fact that you have lived comfort and evolution means that you write in a way that understands both deeply and without judgement life from both inside and outside the wind tunnel. Thank you for actually putting what you have lived down in history for all of us to learn from.

  33. It is true that repetition goes hand in hand with comfort. When we introduce something into our rhythm that is not supportive, and we keep repeating it, then we are choosing to lessen. The fact is as human beings we are constantly evolving, and if we go against this, it is comfort.

    1. When repetition is borne out of self love then it creates a loving and solid foundation. A rock solid base on which we can stand. The question therefore is ‘is what we are repeating loving or not?’

  34. It is very understandable that people seek comfort and safety in such world we have created – full of lies, illusions, violence, jealousy, dog eats dog, cat fights cat. People seek anything that will lessen the pain and ensure a ‘better’ future. If only we realised that our complete joy, love and fulfillment lies in our very own hands – reconnect to the inner heart and find the jewel right there.

  35. Having been a professional dancer for 17 years it is interesting seeing some people I know doing excessive Yoga and seeing them believing that they are doing something great for their body. I feel their bodies are hard as before and it feels this is like being not as honest. Before when I was a dancer it was obvious to me I have to make my body hard and in a way smash it. Yoga has this spiritual stamp, that says you are more caring for your body. But in fact, the energy of disregarding the gentleness and delicateness in the body is the same as my dancing profession, but just having a different face.

    1. Stephanie I agree, there are many similarities between dancing and the type of yoga that people have erroneously come to believe is yoga. Both push the body to physical extremes, both put the body into unnatural positions, both involve pain, both provide identity to the person performing, both are impulsed by the same pranic energy; an energetic source that does not come from soul. But make no mistake, even when an activity doesn’t involve pain or harmful positions but is impulsed by prana then it is still harmful.

      1. Absolutely- especially the identification is a huge one. For me it feels it is the prior reason, why you then put your body under pain and extremes postures etc.. The identification needs constant feed and the more you stick out and belong the more it gets fed.

  36. When I go into comfort and plateauing or not being focussed I am open for energies that just want to destroy me. This might be very destructive thoughts in form of doubts or anxiousness. We are made to stay present and to constantly move on- I get it proofed every time. The moment I connect back- the thoughts etc have no chance to get me.

    1. When any of us go into comfort, plateauing or not being focused the energy that wants to take us away from our connection with God is already in and having it’s way. It is our movements (movements being physical movements, speech and thoughts) that have the ability to switch us from this separative energy to the united energy of fire.

  37. Sadly we have made life about comfort- always chasing the dream at the expense of the body; this is the opposite to the richness of the universe that we have access to when we are willing to respond to the call of evolution.

  38. True that repetition goes hand in hand with comfort. It sets up patterns and an ‘easy’ way of living that we start to default into rather than reading everything all the time and welcoming what is next. Comfort keeps us from evolving and keeps everything about a 1 dimensional way of life.

  39. It’s great how you show that the kind of ‘comfort’ you describe here actually wasn’t truly comfortable and that there was a constant nagging disquiet underneath that we often dull down or try to avoid when actually that tension helps us to recognise when we’re not living true to who we are and so is something there to help us not just settle in the false comfort…

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