Holding Onto Denseness

In my previous blog “What does it Mean – ‘Holding Onto’?” I began to explore how the expression ‘holding onto’ came to my awareness, and then started to reveal many things about how we often live as human beings in a world that asks us to adapt and best manage all its rules, challenges, injustices, disharmonies, relationships and ideals on how to live and succeed.

A very early experience in life, a boat that nearly shipwrecked when I was only two years old, left me feeling a tension in my body that later on I could identify as a ‘holding onto’. Yet it expanded beyond a trauma that was held in my body, to a way of living that was about protection, manipulation and control. I learned that we can hold onto nearly anything! Ranging from edges, chairs, muscles, limbs, quarrels, properties, relationships, ideas, pictures, wishes, longings, personalities, resentments, jobs, hobbies, patterns of behaviour and/or anything that can give us a sense of security and identity.

It’s been quite a while since I wondered what it is to be Me without `holding onto´ so many things and just expressing my true self. I can feel how I have spent most of my life immersed in ideals and beliefs of ‘how to be’, desiring charisma and other qualities that would give me recognition and in some way make me ‘more’ than others.

Today, I can clearly see how this is a way of living based on comparison and separation from everyone and everything else.

Thankfully, these ideals and beliefs crumbled after attending three presentations by Serge Benhayon on The Living Sutras of the Hierarchy. These presentations allowed me to go deeper in my comprehension of holding onto and gave me a taste of what it would really mean to live as the true me, by first understanding in more depth the condition of our individuated reality as human beings. But what does this all really mean?

What I understood is that there is a part of human beings, the part identified with the ‘self,’ that works hard in order to keep creating, maintaining and validating itself and cementing its individual identity in this existence, but basically in separation to everything and everyone else.

To keep our individualised state valid and going, we need to dense up, which is to introduce a certain quality to the way we are, in how we move and to the thoughts we have. This is a quality that can be felt when we create conditions, shoulds, buts, pictures, restrictions, strategies and so on, with an underlying intention of satisfying a very personal agenda. I would also describe it as introducing ‘control’ to life and making everything feel more constricted, stagnant, slower and basically in resistance to the flowing and unifying rhythm of nature and the universe of which we are naturally a part.

It can be a difficult concept to grasp because our experience of life as human beings is certainly an experience of billions of bodies separated from each other, each of them representing a seemingly unique and separated world of thoughts, projects, complications, stories, attachments that we are all holding onto!

However, what if all these individuals are not separated at all, but are all part of the same whole? I know we have heard this many times before, but getting to feel in the body what this actually means was truly life changing, as I got to feel the difference between a body of light and a body of denseness.

Even though it can be tricky to put it into words, it was so simple. First of all, none of the common thoughts about myself, my role in the world, what I should or shouldn’t be doing, were present: I was just being and allowing all that was there. I felt boundless and light, as never before.

I can say it was Me, as it had a focus, but it had a very different quality to my daily experience of me when I am in control, or even me in a state of calmness and easiness!

It was Me in the lightest and most natural and simplest versions.

It was Me – but without barriers of protection; it was Me in connection to all. There was no identification with anything and it felt utterly joyful because… there was no holding onto anything! No identity, problems, issues, situations, memories, perceptions, wishes, dreams, anything!

I got to feel how holding onto something is really holding onto denseness!

This denseness is held by me in the body through my choice of contracting the particles in my body, therefore changing the frequency of my particles to where there is less flow, space and allowance for everything to just naturally be, move and express.

When we hold ourselves in this denser way, there is a higher possibility to be recognised, more easily distinguished, and eminent in our segregated state; and to me, one of the things that we, as humans, most seek is recognition and identity, therefore this becomes our ‘natural’ way of being: holding onto and densing up!

All of these I felt again the next day when I woke up feeling that old familiar feeling of being heavy and serious. What immediately became very obvious was how the lightness had been replaced by a holding onto something, holding onto many big and little things. I could describe it as:

  • Yes, but first I need to do this
  • Yes, but first I need to feel this
  • Yes, but first I need to make sure
  • Yes, but it is not easy to let go and I need more time
  • Yes, but it is complicated and I am not ready
  • Yes, but I won’t get the recognition I seek.

I felt completely closed off to my surroundings, and started relating to others as if I was also holding things against them to prevent them from hurting me, imposing on me and making me wrong.

From this, I observed how a life of holding onto and holding tight is really a life based on control, fear, manipulation, anxiety, and anticipation of what might go wrong in the future. It is a life that is the opposite of our natural ability to expand, flow, be joyful and live connected to everything around us.

I now understand that holding onto creates a contracted body of denseness, and even though everything is set up for us to believe that our reality is rock solid, the truth is our bodies are energy, as the rest of the universe is too! Yet we insist on holding onto things to make everything tangibly secure, differentiated and factual, and to assure us that we can control life. This way we get blinded to the fact that holding onto is constantly allowing the density and illusion of our selfish individualism to perpetuate.

Experiencing for myself how simple and natural it really is to truly be connected to all by not holding onto anything has given me a new marker in my body that allows me to let go and surrender more easily to what life presents each day.

I am aware that I will forever be exposed to energy that I won´t like and that I have an ingrained pattern of using my nervous system to get through life while holding tension in my body and muscles, but I now know what it is all about: a holding onto! This is a reaction that is not needed because energy is passing through me all of the time, and holding onto does not protect me or give me control over anything – holding onto only gives me a false sense of control, while separating me from everything else.

I know living in that feeling is not yet my daily experience. However, it is now my choice to remain spacious by making a permanent commitment to SURRENDER and LET GO of every little or big attachment that creeps in, to breathe gently, keep the permanent connection with my body and to remember this experience that can be well-described as: Me enjoying the Me that is not me but Me knowing it is not me!

Forever in appreciation for the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom brought through by amazing Serge Benhayon.

By Luz Helena Hincapie, Bogotá, Colombia

Further Reading:
Who I Really Am
Judgment, The Way of The Livingness and the Power of Letting Go
What to wear … you’re not wearing that, are you?

623 thoughts on “Holding Onto Denseness

  1. In my experience we hold onto a lot of patterns without being consciously aware of them. Becoming aware of them – usually because our behaviour does not make sense in a particular situation – is the first step. Being honest and observing can then lead to understanding and, eventually, a dropping of the pattern. Over time this transforms our life in ways that may be unimaginable.

  2. Also, after reading your blog again. I realise how much I hold onto. The ‘yes, but..’ list is a classic, I can relate to all of those and add a few more myself. It really makes sense why I often feel the way I do, it is because I am holding onto denseness.

  3. Brilliant blog Luz, this is just what I needed to read this morning. I can be so serious with my family and in some of my relationships and this highlights how much denseness I am holding onto. There are so many points you’ve shared that are spot on for me.

  4. When I’m ‘Me’ I am real with no expectations or investments. To live with the denseness I find there is a lot of ‘what’s in it for me?’, – the individuality; it isn’t a place I want to be in.

  5. Each of us face a dilemma: how much density do I need in my body in order to walk ‘comfortably’ in life? Although we have a physical body, hence assured denseness, we can run many extra miles on such path if we so wish as a way to guarantee not to feel the light we are. Yet, even such decisions reveal that at some point we have felt it and said no to it. That decision is what we hold onto… until we do it no longer.

  6. Holding on creates more issues and problems as the energy of not letting go is the issue in the first place, not to mention the physical symptoms of constipation or digestion problems that usually take place! When we feel something is not loving all we need is to feel it and express it and let it go as if Truth is our guide, holding it on does not let us feel ourselves.

    1. Very wise words diningwithoneandwithlove, and very beautifully expressed. It isn’t at all fun to hold onto denseness or create issues and complications, but we often find ourselves stuck in this way of living from head to toe. This is a classic way to avoid connecting to the grandness we are and avoiding connecting to our Soul and living the love that we are.

  7. “there is a part of human beings, the part identified with the ‘self,’ that works hard in order to keep creating, maintaining and validating itself and cementing its individual identity” I can feel the holding onto denseness in the word ‘cementing’ when we identify with the ‘me’ and ‘I’, which is a universe away from a feeling of light that I feel when I know the energy of love that is passing through us all.

  8. I can relate to bringing in control and feeling the constriction and denseness with that but in my constant focus outside of myself in wanting to move on in life found ways to distract from feeling the truth within my body and developing a deeper relationship with myself.

    1. Yes, very often we are ready to pay the price of constriction and denseness for a short term perceived benefit.

  9. I loved your descriptive list of holding onto something, and how we basically make excuses for holding on, that we are not ready to let go of everything, when deep down we are, and when we do make the choice to let go, the anxiousness, control and fear give way to joy, fun and laughter.

  10. I find trying to understand the want to be dense from the denseness doesn’t work. Only by asking to be aware of the responsibility being avoided, being open to feeling the aspects of that lighter me that I have been avoiding, this is when things start to shift.

  11. As soon as I start to look for more dense foods to eat I know I need to stop and feel and ask myself what’s really going on.

  12. It’s interesting that holding on or holding back is an actual physical movement, it affects our whole body and every move we make. What I find fascinating in myself is that with some people I find it super easy to be natural and not hold back with anything, but with other people I measure it and I’m much tighter in my body – it’s all a great process which we can learn from.

  13. Great to expose how reacting to life and the energies around us, falsely allows us to think we are protected and in control, yet making ourselves dense only perpetuates more of the same emotional reactions and denseness.

  14. It makes sense that having a traumatic experience will be held in the body for our whole lives unless we address it, but many of us do not know that these traumas which in some cases could have only lasted minutes are still ruling our lives. It brings in the question where are we making our decisions from; as in are they based on security governed by our traumas?

  15. It is very freeing when we recognise that we accept ourselves as less and compromise our whole way of being when we take on ideals and beliefs, thinking we need to be more than we already are.

  16. I have just completed an Esoteric Women’s Yoga program where the theme we explored was surrender. It was interesting over the weeks how much this supported me at times when my old pattern was to go into control or protection, I knew there was another way so I simply would come back to my body and allow the surrender, and the difference I felt was huge.

  17. The movement of holding onto something in itself is densifiation; we are already interfering with the flow of what is, and our particles vibrate slower.

  18. The thing with seeing the amazingness in life is, we get a moment of being clear and we see beauty very clearly, and to appreciate this in full, hold it and then move forward allows more beauty, and it’s something we have to learn to accept.

  19. We tend to think that ‘Holding onto’ something is natural because it is something significant that happened to us. Yet, when we go there our body becomes denser and there is nothing natural about becoming dense. When we become unnecessarily dense, on the contrary, we accept as natural and normal what is not. Distortion reigns thereafter.

  20. Anytime we sell ourselves out to the human/physical condition over and above our awareness of our beingness and multidimensional truth, we are essentially holding onto form, which is holding onto denseness.

  21. Through simplicity our body moves and flows with a natural harmony, lightness and spaciousness, it is only when we choose to separate from ourselves that we bring in control and expectation and complication and density sets in.

    1. So true Amparo, and we often wonder why our lives and our world is so complicated, it is because we’ve made it so. And therefore, we are able to undo all the complications we’ve created and allow the simplicity of life to flow and allow ourselves to return to our Soul and to love.

  22. Holding on to things in life creates hardness and protection in our bodies which stunt our evolution as we think we need to control life and instead of surrender to that which is divine.

  23. Thankyou Luz, your blog is a tremendous source of healing every time I read it. I become very aware of how much control I use in “anticipation of what might go wrong in the future” as a way to try to avoid being hurt, the only thing is feeling hurt at times is a part of the way life currently is here and focusing all my attention on avoiding that means I don’t realise I’m not living in connection to me – which is the very thing that hurts me the most.

  24. I loved what you have shared from your experience Luz, as I feel ingrained patterns rising to the surface I can feel how dense and contracted my body feels wanting to control everything, the word surrender says it all, when I can allow myself to let go and just be life has a flow and a lightness to it and a joy just being me, how simple is that, choosing one energy or the other.

    1. Thankyou for your comment Jill, surrender can feel so difficult when we feel hurt or in control yet it is a healing and a necessary part of accepting and flowing with whatever is coming up for us, as well as surrendering to our true essence underneath the turmoil.

  25. To clock and observe energy that is harmful can be easy at first; it is the little doubts that can creep in afterwards that is the test exposing a much needed deeper level of love for the self.

  26. To surrender is one of the hardest things to do, as it takes the security that most of us are chasing away but in truth when we stop holding onto everything, we get the support of the universe behind us and we begin to feel how ridiculous our “false sense of security” really is.

    1. Absolutely Sarah . . . and how hugely and widely we have set up a security safety net in our lives to catch us – just in case. It has indeed ‘caught’ us in the net of security which prevents the surrender to all that we are.

  27. Yes, this feeling can be described as a person standing on a chair and putting a rope around the neck in preparation to hang themselves. Identity being the rope, the chair being the control – the person can choose to remain standing on the chair or kick it off and strangle him/herself in their identity, and that’s exactly what identity does – it kills us little by little.

  28. I know that for me when I go for a walk it helps to let go of the heaviness/denseness in my body but there are times when I avoid doing this and when I do, I feel more tired and my days are less joyful. When I do surrender and follow the impulses of my body there is a vitality, purpose and I don’t get so bogged down in life.

  29. ‘holding onto only gives me a false sense of control, while separating me from everything else.’ True Luz, it keeps separation alive and gives us an identity that is not who we truly are. Sometimes I feel how I am desperately holding onto an emotion and feel at the same time what is there for me when I surrender. Walking with these two allows me to observe what is there to let go of and to choose the strength of my connection to support this.

  30. A very beautiful blog Luz with much to inspire. What you have expressed here I was particularly drawn to and will take into my day;
    “Experiencing for myself how simple and natural it really is to truly be connected to all by not holding onto anything has given me a new marker in my body that allows me to let go and surrender more easily to what life presents each day.”

  31. Surrender, this word or quality was key for me yesterday as I had kinda got myself into a bit of overwhelm and frustration which of course cut me off from my awareness of actual knowing how to move forward and get done what needs to be done, in other words to stay in the flow, knowing that in the flow everything is taken care of, including myself!

  32. To live without a single ‘wall’, defence or need for control… now that is to truly live.
    Our glimpses of such oneness are to be treasured, for they show us the way, and allow the opportunity as you’ve shared here Luz, to recognise where we’ve held onto that which is not us – and potentially, let it go, that we may return to more of who we truly are.

    1. And to let go in the knowing that we are held in love, there are constant reminders around us letting us know that we are love and we come from love and love is waiting for us to return. However holding onto identity, and issues is what prevents us from seeing and feeling this.

  33. It is lovely to feel the spaciousness within your words Luz describing how you now feel so much lighter and freer not holding onto barriers of protection for a sense of security. With a deeper level of awareness we are able to feel and know our interconnectedness with everything.

  34. I know when I reach for certain foods that leave me feeling heavy that there is something that I am not wanting to feel and I wanting to keep myself shut down. We can judge and self ridicule ourselves as to why we ate it or we can start to lovingly look at why we are avoiding what we are feeling and not wanting to feel light and spacious.

    1. Yes Natalie – we can also look at how amazing we are, how well we are doing and appreciate like crazy! For me, food only comes in when I am not accepting what I’m feeling and appreciating to the core of who I am for being me.

  35. Luz, I love the simplicity of what you present in letting go from the place that “I got to feel how holding onto something is really holding onto denseness!”
    This feeling from the physical body is a game changer, and cuts the stories and mind stimulated activity and ideals which can lead to complication and overwhelm for which next step to take. When it comes back to the simplicity of how our choices support lightness or denseness in our particles there is a clarity and focus. Thank you for so neatly presenting this.

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