This year I attended a retreat presented by Serge Benhayon. What was so incredibly profound for me was that it confirmed everything I already knew. I say ‘all’ very loosely, as there is nothing small or little in what Serge Benhayon presented… far from it.
What he shares is always deeply profound, and as I heard someone else describe so eloquently, it is ‘hold on to the edge of your seat’ kind of profound. What I mean when I say ‘all’ he presented is that, in all of the enormousness of the great wisdom he shared, what actually happened was that Serge Benhayon confirmed all that I already knew. He confirmed to me that I am Divine; that I am a son of God; that he is not special simply because he is the one on the stage, and that we are all equal and can access the same profound wisdom if we so choose. That means no one person is more than another – we are all equally powerful and able to live with the same grace and consistency as the next. It is a choice.
He showed me with simple and practical exercises, what he has always said – that we already have all of the wisdom we need inside of us. This is something I have fought tooth and nail to not accept and boy oh boy has this hurt! I did not want to see the truth (although I knew it very loudly and clearly in my body). Instead I chose to refine, specialise and become an expert in deceit, numbing, comfort and indulgence. A choice, and with this choice I shut out all the beautiful awareness I naturally have.
If we roll back a few years before I met Serge Benhayon, I was drinking copious amounts of alcohol (I’m very petite but this did not stop me trying to keep up with the guys), taking drugs and propping myself up during the day with sugary and caffeinated drinks, like coke and coffee, to keep me awake. Underneath this socially accepted chaos, although I thought I was alright, were anger, despair and mood swings. I knew the reason I felt dreadful was because of the lifestyle I was living… I just didn’t know how to stop. I felt pressure to continue in order to fit in, as a life that did not include these things was perceived as dull and boring. I also did not want to accept that I was making these choices to avoid feeling the lovelessness I knew I was living, as well as the lovelessness I felt in the world –– so perversely, there was comfort in my self-abuse.
It was only when I hit rock bottom – losing my business at the same time as becoming acutely aware of the ravaged state of my body – that I chose to make changes.
My choices at this point were clear: I could not sustain my work if I was not taking care of my body, well-being and state of mind. It was one of those lightbulb moments when we realise for ourselves something that we may have been told by others many times before. I simply knew I could no longer function like this.
The anxiety, mood swings and emotional rollercoaster felt dreadful, so I chose to stop. And then what? What was my next step? I stopped working in a stressful situation; I cut right down on my alcohol and cigarette consumption; I started to consider the food I was eating and took some baby steps into taking care of my body.
This all happened BEFORE I met Serge Benhayon.
Three years after the collapse of my business I came across Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. In the presentations I attended it was confirmed to me that choosing to not drink was a loving choice and that there was nothing wrong with going to bed when I felt tired. In fact, so much more than that, Serge showed me that these were very basic loving choices to make and that anything other than this was self-abuse. What Serge Benhayon presented allowed me to feel I was worth loving; I gave myself permission to be the gorgeous and delicate woman I have always been and had just wasted a lot of energy hiding.
I can now see my life is anything but boring. It has more purpose, joy and playfulness than it has had since I was a child. I look younger and more vibrant and as a 40 something woman who spent 20 something years destroying her body with drink, drugs and smoking, I’m looking pretty damn hot.
My body feels lighter and more energised, and like my life, has become a dance where I stop from time to time and sing. Yes, I still have down days and off days, sometimes quite a few of them, though what is so different is that they are only down relative to where I am at now. And where I am at now is consistently building a foundation of love, self-care and appreciation of life.
I already knew precisely what I was doing before I met Serge Benhayon. All Serge has ever done is confirm to me what I always knew deep inside was true.
By Anon, London UK