After a recent Esoteric Yoga session, we spoke about the beauty of the ‘commitment’ that the practitioner had felt in my body.
This is something that I had never appreciated myself nor accepted before as there has always been this ‘lack of self-worth’ going on, almost a determination to remain lesser in ‘abusive self-thought’. This has been so entrenched and fed to me throughout my life that it has become a belief that has then perpetuated and kept this energy in circulation. So, in effect it had until that moment entrapped me in an imprisoning way that ‘I’ myself had created – a feeling of lack of commitment coming from “What’s the use?” and therefore manifesting as a sick kind of indulgence that then plays out as ‘the lack of Commitment to Life’.
So, what an incredibly powerful session this one hour of Esoteric Yoga was, reflecting to me that I had always thought that the ‘Commitment to Life’ was a thinking thing, a mindset However, I have since realised it is not, it’s a movement – in this sense, movement meaning how and from what source and energetic quality we choose to live our life.
On the following Sunday, whilst walking, there was a noticeable difference as I could feel the energetic quality of my movements. I was really ‘in my body’ and could feel the movements of the muscles either side of my spine in detail, as to where there was tightness, where there was freer movement, where there was a twinge. My whole body felt more alive, light and connected so there was much more awareness made only possible from being in my body and not ‘in my head’. I felt a lot of joy from simply being in my body.
Monday provided one of the most important lessons of consequences of what can happen when I choose to not stay in the body and I am not living with this level of Commitment and Purpose.
My movements on this day certainly were not of that same quality.
Driven by my mind, I could not feel my body, could not feel when it had to harden in order to complete some tasks, and those ‘whoops’ moments where no true care can be; this then resulted in me pushing my body unnecessarily so.
It was not until I had stopped after completing the project that I felt just how exhausted I was, so in the evening I ran a hot bath and added magnesium salts to support my body. Soon after my bath I went to bed at around 7.00pm.
That same night my body woke me up with pain, everything in my whole body hurt, the weaker areas of my body being more painful. The pain was so intense I cried and in that moment was given a very big talking to from my body. It was a very humbling moment, one that brought me back to a level of honesty that opened me up to the truth of feeling what I myself had caused, not only that day but looking back on many other occasions. And I was then open to feeling into the deeper message my wise body was presenting: “You were given the marker of true Commitment, feeling its divinely supportive energy – this is the way forward for you, otherwise there are big consequences.”
A few hours later, whilst waking up at daylight from all that had occurred during the night, my feeling was to simply be still as my body felt super sensitive and I just wanted to stay with that feeling of sensitivity.
I heard my housemate in the kitchen but this time I was not only hearing from my ‘hearing sense’ – it was as if my whole body was receiving the energetic vibrations of their movements from another deeper level of understanding of what was going on for them.
It was an incredible moment and is something that I had not experienced before; there was no thinking, it was as if I could feel everything that was going on in the kitchen for them. I could feel a hardness there, yet a sadness under the hardness. And when things were being moved around or put down or bumped together, although quite harshly or loudly at times, it did not affect me like it usually does.
Instead, it was like I was observing without seeing, as it was all being felt; almost as if the movements were a vibrational braille and my body could feel them and read them without any need to see with my eyes, as if another sense from within was feeling and merging with all the space around as one space.
And as previously mentioned, no thought – just super awareness that held understanding and appreciation for feeling energy, feeling the varying vibrations of energy and how each then influenced the body’s quality of movement.
There was a love there for them that had not been felt before; not a mushy, emotional love but a love and appreciation of being privy to understanding another human being with ‘the being’ part being felt as never before.
In the past, my thoughts were of critique and judgement but none of this was there anymore, it was all gone. It was as if these had dissolved and transmuted through and out of my body when surrendering to its sensitivity.
The deeper my commitment to remaining with my gentle breath, the easier it became to go with the flow of this unfolding process of what was happening – the expanding outwardly of my inner being, emanating out and beyond.
It allowed a level of confirmation of the fact I am, and we all are, comprised of these same vibrational particles that enable the quality of the Love I felt for another fellow human being, aware we are much more than our physical body. I know I am of this Love yet, like most of mankind, I do not always choose to live it.
And all from a ‘Knowing’, not a believing.
Then came, “I’ve known this feeling before; it is not something new to get excited about at all,” for I realised soberly that it has always been there… ‘it’ had not gone anywhere, but I had. I’d made a choice to live my life from my head where it is impossible to feel and therefore not possible to access ‘that’.
I admitted this all with tenderness and no critique; it was the ‘I’ aspect of me which had been reducing me to think of my being and all other beings as less when all of us are not. In fact, we are all equal in our essence.
I know and feel the equalising God aspect of me now and it’s waiting there for us all to access, that being possible only through our body and the energetic quality of our movements and definitely not from the mind alone.
When I got out of bed, I remembered how my commitment had felt so supportive when in the Esoteric Yoga session; that when fully present and in my body, I can naturally bring this divine energetic quality, the quality of God, to all those I meet through everyday activities of living life – simply from reflecting this out. Through these regular Esoteric Yoga sessions, I have supported my body to move in a way it was divinely designed to live.
By Anonymous
Related Reading:
The Ultimate Commitment to Life
Quality of Movement = Quality of Life
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
“You were given the marker of true Commitment, feeling its divinely supportive energy – this is the way forward for you, otherwise there are big consequences.” I have experienced this same thing in other ways, maybe a deeper self love then I drop back, or a consistency of speaking up and drop back, but the body has now registered the new marker of the steps I have made to advance, so when I drop back it really let’s me know. What used to be my normal, ie a lesser self love or expression, now feels calamitous and completely out of order once the advance has been made. The body is truly very honest and holds great integrity in its communication.
The majority of what we do and how we react to life comes from our minds, we are driven by it. As you say anonymous we think
“that the ‘Commitment to Life’ was a thinking thing, a mindset. However, I have since realised it is not, it’s a movement – in this sense, movement meaning how and from what source and energetic quality we choose to live our life.”
Esoteric yoga gives us an opportunity to actually feel into our bodies, when we are able to do this then everything changes because our bodies hold the marker of truth. That’s when we discover that our minds are cold, heartless and lies to get its own way over our bodies. Whereas our bodies hold the truth of who were are and we can connect back to this other part of us, our soul and rebuild a relationship which is magical and completely changes how we are to live life.
Taking our Yoga into the day and walking in our divine essence 😇 is super important, as our reflection is a quality that also takes that Stillness we obtain from the Esoteric Yoga into the footsteps we move in🚶🏿.
To connect to God through our body as a lived experience is so confirming and shows that there is so much more to life than just the physical and that we do have the choice to live from and as the essence rather than as mere humans.
Awareness is like a super power – we may not like what we feel or see but we get to see what we are willing to see.
What would life be like if we were to learn from a young age all about energy and even have lessons at school to explore the True energy we can all align to?
Great article! It is very tangibly felt what it’s like living from the body.
Although our bodies share so much it has become important to understand these messages and not get mixed messages, so when we are introduced to Esoteric Yoga all the rubbish is cut away and our bodily understandings become an amazing tool that will increase the many ways we can heal.
When we are born, we are naturally love in essence it’s a whole body experience. We are love before we can put a word to the feeling, that’s why as adults we are attracted to babies because of the love they emanate. Babies are a great reminder of the love that we are too. This love that we naturally are, is crushed and we then rely on our minds rather than our essence to get us through life. Attending the presentations of Universal Medicine and participating in Esoteric Yoga can support our bodies to reconnect back to the essence of love that resides within each and every one of us, so that if we chose to we can reconnect back to our bodies and not live in the coldness of our minds.
Great comment Mary, thank you. “This love that we naturally are, is crushed and we then rely on our minds rather than our essence to get us through life.” How true this is, I have noticed myself how little I live from or truly know the depths of my essence, we are literally trained away from the body into our minds, particularly in the education process. Recently I had an experience of feeling how my essence is in my whole body, we are so used to seeing the mind as ‘it’ and the body as just the ‘transport’, but it’s the vessel for all of our essence and highly collaborative in communicating how much we are living that essence or not.
So much of our life can be explored through True movements and when we add in Esoteric Yoga we bring a Stilling tender quality to all our movements that feels amazing in the simplest of ways.
The description of the awareness of your housemate’s movements is exquisite – from an all-encompassing sense beyond the five physical senses, leading to understanding and acceptance.
Spot on Gabriele, when we can feel to this degree it is amazing and then to bring in the understanding that holds ourselves and the other as the equal beautiful beings that we are.
This sharing feels so true. Staying gently with our body is so exquisite and yet we continually choose to go back to the imprints of creation. The honesty of this post is beautiful to read naming the deep hurt the separation from ourselves causes. Thank you for this delicate sharing.
The more we are aware of the wisdom that is flowing through our body, the deeper our understanding of the energy in every move we make.
I really responded to your understanding of what commitment to life really means, anonymous. We can get caught up in ‘thinking’ it is about doing more, but of course it is about our energetic awareness, thank you for explaining this so clearly.
Well said Bernadette – I too can relate to thinking something and in my head it is clearly a ‘done deal’, but there is another level of taking things so that they actually happen in the body or ‘on a body level’ – like things need to percolate through to the body and be lived.
exquisite …