Healing Past Abuse With Esoteric Healing – A Personal Account

by SC, London, UK

When I was 27 years old, I had just left my marriage of ten months and felt depressed and lost. A friend suggested I come to an open night for a new counselling and psychotherapy organisation in Crows Nest, Sydney. Unknown to me at the time, it was based on the AA (alcoholic anonymous) principles. I subsequently joined a weekly therapy group to address my depression and anxiety.

One night a week I would show up and talk about my problems in the group… and it was always focused on what we had ‘done wrong’ that week. There was a loose structure to dig deeper, but the basis was always how ‘bad’ we were/are – always looking first at the broken part of us, the victim. Within two weeks of group work and working through the childhood years, the childhood sexual abuse from my stepfather came flooding back. The abuse happened every Friday night from age six to eleven. It ended when my mother left him after seeing us together. I had told her many times what was going on, but she refused to acknowledge what was happening. I had buried it so deeply that I had literally forgotten – but once the floodgates opened, all the memories returned. That’s when I started the one-to-one sessions, as I needed support and it was there and available.

After 18 months I stopped group work, but continued my weekly one-to-one sessions for the next eight years with the same counsellor. During that time I cognitively ‘addressed’ my abuse, but the patterns of behaviour continued and the sense of anxiety was always present. I felt that mentally I had dealt with the abuse, but I still felt trapped in old patterns that I had no control over. I felt like I couldn’t live life without my sessions with my counsellor!

Nothing really changed – I was still drinking heavily, doing recreational drugs and, with a poor diet, my body was a mess. I had needy relationships with men that didn’t last longer than a year.

The day I met Serge Benhayon for a session, I was 33 years old. He asked me why I had come to see him… I replied that a friend had been the day before and she looked amazing and I knew I wanted some of that. He closed his eyes and said that the true reason I was there was that the scars of the sexual abuse were still locked in my body, and I felt trapped by the old patterns that were driving me. I started to cry, and felt so much acceptance and love from him that even today tears well up when I remember that moment.

What was revealed to me in that hour was the power of true love. Serge talked through the whole session and explained everything as the healing unfolded. I felt everything in my body. It was like my body lit up and I could feel myself again. And so began the true healing I was longing for.

In my experience, this true healing process is the polar opposite of psychotherapy, which focuses on going over and over the pattern of the impact of the abuse, and band-aid solutions that never truly address the deeper pattern. And the AA model that “I am an alcoholic” is simply not true. I know there are different counselling techniques that have been introduced over the last ten years that profess to look at the body too, but their driving force is that “you are broken and need fixing”.

Esoteric Healing always sees me from the essence of love that I am – and the things that I do, or that have happened to me, are not who I truly am. A very different approach. Esoteric Healing offered me the opportunity to be truthful as to the impact of patterns of behaviour and to see them, not as who I am, but as the things I do to NOT be all that I am, naturally. Therein lies the choice – to be a victim of my childhood, or to take responsibility and heal that inner child from a place of love.

The past abuse had placed strain on my relationship with my Mum over the years, the pain of the silence of not speaking out for me of the abuse at the time, though, through my own unfolding with esoteric healing, I have been able to let hurt and judgment go, which has consequently changed and deepened the relationship we now have together.

The Universal Medicine courses provide a place of learning. He/they have given me the opportunity to deepen my awareness to myself and reveal the patterns of behaviour that affect me in daily life, to deepen my tenderness with myself in every expression.

Reflecting on the eight years of psychotherapy, I know in truth that nothing really changed – compounded by a lack of growth in my bank account! But I would not know that truth if it weren’t for my commitment to healing myself and the guidance and reflection of love that I continue to feel from Serge Benhayon, his development of the Universal Medicine Courses I attend, and the Esoteric Practitioners I see for support when I need it.

No longer is there a reliance on seeing a practitioner to fix me – my healing is mine, and I have been empowered by the many techniques offered by Universal Medicine to build my self-love.

330 thoughts on “Healing Past Abuse With Esoteric Healing – A Personal Account

  1. It is so powerful when we deal with things from a knowing first of who we are, and all that we already are, have been and always will be and that we are and never have been broken. Then whats on the table is a discarding process which happens much more easily when we expand the understanding of all that we are.

  2. It is a powerful thing that you are able to share how effective the healing approaches of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have been for you compared to spending a fortune for 8 years on on-going sessions of Psychotherapy. This may be of great service to many others who read this and can appreciate your experiences.

  3. Quite amazing really. The power of love is beyond what words can describe. Sounds like a bit of a cliché but I think that is why a lot of practices such as psychotherapy only works to a certain extent. Because they do not come with love, it’s mostly a mental approach, and it doesn’t change the energy locked into the body from what has been experienced.

  4. “No longer is there a reliance on seeing a practitioner to fix me – my healing is mine, and I have been empowered by the many techniques offered by Universal Medicine to build my self-love.” In contrast to what we usually understand to be true, it is this empowering approach of Universal Medicine and the practitioners of these modalities that truly support us to understand that we all have the capacity to heal our past hurts, rather than continually placing the blame on another.

  5. Building strenght from inside out gives us the capacity to go forward with our presence.. Knowing that healing is part of our everyday life and that healing occurs by our willingness to be and let go of the old. Move on with all that we have build and let go so far.

  6. ‘Therein lies the choice – to be a victim of my childhood, or to take responsibility and heal that inner child from a place of love’ It is never too late to reparent ourselves and to live the love that we are. I can feel in this blog how you have turned the corner so to speak and are allowing this to happen.

  7. Alcoholics Anonymous is curious. On the one hand, it makes a point regarding anonymity. At the same time, it makes a point regarding the need to identify yourself as being an alcoholic in recovery. So, it does not matter who you are as long as you identify yourself as an alcoholic; fact that guarantees your not healing the reason why you drink in the first place. A smart way to keep having a solid rate of enrollment. AA is not about healing but looking good as organization.

  8. This is a great article – we can choose to live a life of blame and keep repeating patterns of old behaviour or we can choose to see the energy that is driving our stuck-ness and move beyond the pain and the hurt. We have much to appreciate and much to let go of, we can work on both at the same time.

  9. 8 years of psychotherapy, gosh this sounds more like they needed you, not you needing them! I am wondering after you having that moment of clarity and starting to feel light in your body again from meeting Serge Benhayon, if you went back to the psychotherapist to speak with them about this .. they could have learnt something here maybe? In life I have tried many different things to try to heal hurts or change my life or feel more connected to me, but it was like putting a band aid on (or in some cases burying it deeper) nothing changed, that is nothing changed until I met Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon and then that is when I can honestly say true healing began.

  10. The scars of our past hurts remain in our bodies which impacts on everything we do and all our relationships, especially the relationship with ourselves. The Esoteric Modalities, are an amazing support when we are ready to face ourselves and our past unloving choices.

  11. Very inspiring of how much you have healed and let go which is evident in the deepening relationship with your mother. I have also found the Esoteric modalities by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine an amazing support for my body to expose old ways of being and behaving.

  12. I can see the importance of building that relationship with who you are, the loving, delicate amazing child, now woman, and the importance of seeing that you don’t need fixing, you need to understand so it doesn’t define who you are or how you now live. I feel we have much to learn in the professional world when we truly listen to people who have experienced abuse so we can all heal, not compound the pain and ensure we are not adding to the behaviours that extend the healing process.

  13. I so agree there’s a big difference between Esoteric healing modalities and many other modalities around these days. It is incredibly healing to be met by someone who not only says ‘we are love in essence’ but lives that truth and knows it for real.

  14. Quite a conclusion, that things like AA and psychotherapy provide insight but on a mental level, meaning that the abusive patterns stay as they are, stored in the body, not in the mind. With our minds we can understand and try to manage those patterns, but we can never heal them.

  15. “Esoteric Healing always sees me from the essence of love that I am – and the things that I do, or that have happened to me, are not who I truly am”. This is so different to how most practitioners view their clients – possibly because there is a belief that if the client isn’t broken, then there is nothing for the practitioner to do. Knowing you are whole and pure is super empowering and allows us to know we heal ourselves.

  16. Beautiful to feel your own healing through taking responsibility and not allowing your childhood issues to own you, or wanting to find a fix for them, when the true healing comes from within yourself.

    1. ‘true healing comes from within yourself’ and does not seek to fix or to remedy anything from the past, rather to arrest the ill energy and see that none of it is who we truly are, rather choices that were made out of reaction to not being the love that we are.

  17. We need to include the physical body when it comes to healing our past hurts and that is why Esoteric Healing has so much to offer. And most importantly, Esoteric Healing does not view anyone as broken, faulty or lacking – true healing is, after all, the shedding of what we are not and never is it an improvement on what we already are.

  18. I agree with you when you say
    “In my experience, this true healing process is the polar opposite of psychotherapy, which focuses on going over and over the pattern of the impact of the abuse, and band-aid solutions that never truly address the deeper pattern.”
    I spent 25+ years in psychotherapy and nothing changed I was encouraged to be the ‘victim’ of life.
    Finding Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine was the best medicine because as you say SC the healing modalities on offer see us from the pure essence we are and work from that base. And how ridiculous is it that we spend so much time and energy not being all that we truly are.

  19. I love what you share “No longer is there a reliance on seeing a practitioner to fix me – my healing is mine, and I have been empowered by the many techniques offered by Universal Medicine to build my self-love.” This in itself feels so empowering, we are our own healers, we don’t need to give our power away. Yes sometimes we need support from other practitioners but that is to go deeper in our healing journey.

  20. This is an incredible account of someone who knows that there is more and who seeks it, not willing to settle for short-term solutions that lead no where but back to the same point again and again – you have sought the ageless wisdom which is a testament to your strength and inner wisdom.

  21. I didn’t experience sexual abuse but I certainly did hold many beliefs about there being something wrong with me that needed to be fixed. How very healing it is to realise that the beautiful essence that we all have equally within us is fully in tact, untouched and ‘untaintable’ and that we can reconnect to it when we choose to. Thank you SC for this testament to the real power of Esoteric Healing and the graceful work of Serge Benhayon.

  22. “What was revealed to me in that hour was the power of true love. Serge talked through the whole session and explained everything as the healing unfolded. I felt everything in my body. It was like my body lit up and I could feel myself again. And so began the true healing I was longing for.” This feels like a true general description of what happens to everyone who is touched by the absolute grace of Serge Benhayon.

  23. What you have shared with me here is that we can heal trauma on an emotional and psychological level, but that it can stay in the body till we get support. I have seen this manifest in patterns of behaviour and choices that seem illogical at the time but when put into context make perfect sense. I am so pleased you have found the support you needed to heal those underlying traumas.

  24. Esoteric Healing recognizes that we are all from the same oneness, that at our very core we are sons of God and that deep down we all want to be loved, so anything that does not belong with this is discarded and healed to create space for our natural way of being.

  25. Thank you SC for what you’ve shared – this has demonstrated that if what ever ‘treatment / sessions’ not getting to the core of it all, then the healing modality is not the absolute healer.

    Like yourself Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine has made a a true difference in my life, health and love – what a changer.

  26. SC, reading your experience is an absolute blessing as there is no trace of victimhood, reaction or recoil from the world – you have claimed your way and been so active in your healing.

  27. “Esoteric Healing offered me the opportunity to be truthful as to the impact of patterns of behaviour and to see them, not as who I am, but as the things I do to NOT be all that I am, naturally.” This is why Esoteric healing is so empowering and so valuable for society today.

  28. This is an extraordinary and very powerful sharing S.C. reminding us that is possible for us to heal any trauma or past abuse with the support of the Esoteric Modalities. Amazing the journey you have been through and the steps you took to truly heal these hurts, this will be very inspiring and supportive for anyone else who has been through any similar abuse in their lives.

    1. Yes and the reason the esoteric modalities can support is because it offers a knowing, from the body, that what has happened to us does not define us, it is not who we are. This is so important because without that key it all lives on as memories in our body, a body that knows what it feels is not love. This is the disharmony that drives the search for healing.

  29. You present so clearly the difference between what Esoteric Healing is and how it always comes from a place of confirming you in the love you naturally are and allowing you to see those behaviours which are not love and to address and heal them – a very different approach to many other ways which work from the premise you need to be fixed or to be better in some way. It’s utterly changed my life and that of many others, and best of all, it puts the person back in the centre of their own life knowing they have the choice to live the love they are, and to allow more of that love to be seen and lived in their life.

      1. So very true, it puts us back in charge and repsonsible for what has happened to us and what is happening to us. Ultimately we always have a choice whether or not we want to admit it.

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