by AG, BA LLB (Hons), LLM (Hons), Grad Dip Psych, Byron Shire
Something that I discovered long before I had any contact with Universal Medicine is that I and my fellow human beings have a very odd relationship with drugs and alcohol.
As a University student I ‘investigated’ lots of mind altering substances – and marijuana was my first choice as a drug of addiction. I would party and smoke as much of the year as I could get away with, and then settle down to do my end of year exams. I did quite well: I was born with a prodigious mind. As soon as exams were over I would be back to my habit. Along with that came a nicotine addiction – it followed on from the drugs. I drank a lot too, but preferred marijuana.
I was young and reckless; I never gave any regard to consequences. What was more, I had surrounded myself with friends where this was the norm. When you do that, the drug-addled behaviour becomes NORMALISED… no-one questions it: the drugs become the foundation of your social group – the rituals upon which it is based. These rituals become embedded in all social conduct – so the joint is passed around, the bong is shared, there are unspoken rules as to who purchases the drugs, who deals, who is the best joint roller or bong packer.
To a non-drug user this all seems nonsensical: to a healthy, non-drug addicted human, it is obvious that the conduct is all part of a drug-scene. If they were to address this fact to the user group, they would be derided as being ‘un-cool’, ‘out of touch’ with what is really going on, or needing to loosen up… the defences would be endless. If the harmful health effects were brought up – psychosis, depression, anxiety, lung cancer and death (just to name a few) – the response from the user group would be that it is ‘natural’, it does no harm etc. The fact that a large amount of theft and property crime is related to drug addiction will be passed off as being related to ‘other people’, not to that user group. Or in the case of the most addicted, they are beyond caring about the social repercussions of their behaviour.
I had to change my social environment to get away from drugs. At the end of university, I moved cities and established a social group who were not drug users. Later on I re-visited my drug use – influenced by a close group of friends: it was not long before I was addicted again. But I reached a point where I finally said to a friend of mine, that although I valued our friendship, I did not wish to be around the drugs anymore. Sadly, my friend was so identified with her drug use that she felt that my saying no to the drugs was cutting out her as well. It wasn’t… we had been friends for 16 years; I had for most of that time declined to use drugs. Yet a six month interlude of shared marijuana use changed the nature of our friendship: it became in my friend’s view dependent on the rituals of the drug use.
However, it is not just recreational drugs that are part of this normalised behaviour… alcohol is a drug that our society has NORMALISED. So very often, if you choose not to drink, you are considered strange. You are actually upsetting the standardised rituals of the social group that you are meant to be part of, the unwritten law of behaviour.
What are the alcohol rituals? They vary amongst social groups – for some men, it can be the keg or the slab of beer to be shared with mates; for others it might be the perfect wine to go with the meal; for the socially conscious it might be a rare vintage of wine or scotch with a price tag to marvel at; for some women it can be the ritual cocktail (yes, alcohol also has gender markers); for work functions it can be the importance of showing a shared belonging… it also is used as a marker of our coming of age, a significant indicator of our arrival into adulthood. It is there at almost every social gathering. It is the essential ingredient in any party or night out. It is astonishing, but it is almost impossible to do any social activity or work activity without being confronted with alcohol. It is viewed as the essential wind down at the end of a day, a reward for a hard day, or the only way to relax.
There is ample research to show that alcohol is harmful: it is not just that a significant amount of violent crime (including domestic violence and other violence against women) would not occur if alcohol was not used, or that a significant number of road accidents resulting in death would not occur if alcohol was not used – but that alcohol, in any amount, can be harmful physiologically. A significant amount of obesity would not be around if alcohol was not in the picture – it is either empty sugar kilojoules, or the end to any resolve not to eat certain fatty, unhealthy foods. There is a link between alcohol use and cancer: there are certain types of brain damage linked to alcohol use.
If you are to raise these issues you will be met with the same response as from the drug-user group: those justifying the use of alcohol will argue that it is not harmful, only those who abuse it are causing harm. But every drink is placing the body under physiological stress. And the fact is, most alcohol users are using significantly more than the government recommended maximum amount.
Alcohol causes disease – it is a major cause of harm in our society in general. If you suggest that society might be a better place without it, or that the health benefits of not drinking actually outweigh the harm done, those statements would mostly fall on deaf ears. I can hear my family saying I had become a ‘wowser’ – a name used in the past to deride religious groups who were abstinent.
I had stopped my drug use long before I attended a Universal Medicine course. The drugs had stopped working for me – instead of numb mindlessness, I started having anxiety every time I used marijuana. So my body made me stop. I’d had periods of not drinking alcohol before I attended a Universal Medicine course. I knew that alcohol made me feel depressed, I felt sick when I drank, and I needed to lose weight. A choice to stop drinking made sense, but I would be lured back to alcohol by social pressure. Friends and family would expect me to drink with them, and I would do so to keep everyone happy. After attending Universal Medicine courses I became far more aware that my choice not to drink, was actually a true choice in respecting my body.
In the same way that friends had felt rejected by my choice to not be around drug use, I had other friends who felt very threatened by my assertion that I no longer wished to drink. One dear friend loved entertaining and sharing a good wine with friends. He believed that that my choice not to drink was not my own (even though when I met him I had been a non-drinker); he blamed Universal Medicine.
Why would Universal Medicine cop the blame? Because the reflection that I was actually making a choice from my own volition for my own health, was too confronting to accept, and would require consideration of the fact that alcohol is harmful to the body. It is harmful to social relations. It might mean that the truth of the situation would have to be examined.
Of course my choice to not drink was supported by what I felt – drinking was not a healthy choice. My choice to not drink was one that I was finally able to make because Universal Medicine courses had affirmed that it was appropriate to make choices that supported self-care ahead of those that were self-harming. I was finally liberated from the control that my social groups and friends had had over me: a control that pushed alcohol as a social requirement. The societal expectation that I drink, and the imposition that this is expected behaviour at business functions or social gatherings, is where the real lack of choice is imposed.
For me it was so important that I look outside ingrained social patterns and norms. There are so many things that have become NORMALISED that we may no longer look at the impact upon our own health, or at the terrible impact those things have on society at large.
Universal Medicine and the teachings of Serge Benhayon have been one vehicle that have assisted me to look outside the societal norms that I had accepted as reality. Like the drug-addled social group, we often find it hard to see the view from outside our normalised patterns and behaviours. Serge Benhayon simply presents new ways to examine the ills in our society – the way we are with alcohol is one of those ills.
If you lend an ear, there is a world of choice out there.
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
This blog touches on the many standardised thoughts that come from drug/alcohol users. Seeing non-users as uncool, boring, out of touch are very common defences for choosing something the body would never choose. Surrounding yourself with friends who also engage in drugs/alcohol is a perfect way to convince yourself that how you are living is normal, despite the physical after effects. Surely this means something if users all have the same responses? Perhaps using a drug to free yourself leaves you just as controlled or more than we are in general society?
I think one of the things with alcohol is that we have normalised it so much that we often don’t even consider it as a drug, it’s just part and parcel of life but actually what if the choice to not drink it is genuinely normal for us! I think there is much we as a society can look at and heal if we are willing to see that the crutches that we use to get by aren’t truly helping…
This article describes the insidiousness of peer pressure and how it can rule ones life, if it is adhered to.
Stopping drinking was the best thing for me. It was also one of the most trying times in my life as most people I knew drank, from the odd drink here and there to the daily consumption and all of them tried very hard to get me to ‘change my mind’. I felt very isolated and judged and it took the absolute knowing that I no longer wanted to feel the ‘down in the dumps’ way my life was to hold steady in my choice to quit.
What you have brought up here is the patterns of addiction embed in the human race because we use things to cope with the unease we feel in the different parts of our lives. One of the things I notice is when someone chooses to not be governed by an addiction someone else is still under the expression “needing to loosen up” often comes to the fore. Then the self-doubt comes in and the fear of being different or mocked for being ‘straight laced’. We can be so unpleasant and unsupportive in each others self-discovery.
Normalization of self-harm is about constructing a way of living where we learn to confirm ourselves in a quality that is not even true.
I remember the drug scene as being incredibly cool to be a part of. I considered that we were the ones living a great life. But when I look back on this now, it seems like such a waste of time, being cool being stoned. When I could have been working, developing relationships, contributing to society – activities which now are the highest points of value in my life but which I avoided so fervently before through the haze and fog of a stoned-out body.
How can a drug of any kind do good or is natural for us to take? What has surprised me in the past is that those who have stood by alcohol in moderation or cannabis being natural so it’s okay, have come from all walks of life including doctors and the medical profession. To me a drug whether taken in large quantities, occasional or part of a balanced diet, is a drug and is a poison in the body. I do not have to have a degree in medicine to understand this!
Self harm has become so normal that people who choose self care, such as sleeping early or not consuming alcohol or drugs, are considered weirdos or religious nuts, or simply derided in other terms. This points to an unwritten contract, a pressure to enjoin, to be part of a majority and that everyone must do what the group does.
I know personally of people close to me and my own experience due to the consumption of alcohol – there is no safe limits. Incidents include rape, sexual abuse, women taking all their clothes off, a heterosexual man coming to being sexually abused by another man, being king hit and kicked in the head while passed out on the ground, crashing their car, being chased by a psycho out of a night club, arrested by police while in a night club, obstructing police, drink driving, emotionally contacting ex-girlfriends and other woman, having one night stands with woman who are strangers, memory loss, having sex on the dance floor. Many more could be listed and it is very, very sickening what alcohol is responsible for. It’s criminal! Alcohol is not truly social, it is extremely harming!
Even if you say you’re a happy drunk, at any point you can turn to be aggressive and harm another.
So true. If you speak to the personnel who work in emergency departments on a Friday or Saturday night in particular you will hear no championing of alcohol. It is the cause of majority of their work. Surely repeating and, dare I say it, championing a damaging behaviour over and over again is not the sign of an intelligent species?
We justify and protect what we need; to do so we must ignore, deny or relativise the facts otherwise we couldn’t hold on to what we need without exposing the underlying need for what it truly is. And often we are not willing to really be honest before we are challenged by something greater than our fear to expose the need.
Often we actually know what is true, right or healthy for us but due to either ideals, beliefs or the opinion and pressure of our social surrounding we don´t trust ourselves enough to stand for the truth and avoid to stand out. We actually know that others will feel irritated or disturbed and may react by attacking us. With that understanding it makes perfect sense that at times we need some support, basically confirmation, so that we give ourselves permission to honour our truth. Universal Medicine presents simple facts with common sense and universal truth from a wisdom and love that is recognised by our inner knowing. In a world void of confirmation of the true nature of who we are and what life is all about Universal Medicine is a beacon of light that not just reminds us that we have a choice but furthermore the two choices available – love or not love.
It is the social repercussions of drug abuse that seems to go unsaid, but beautifully said in this article. There is usually lots of focus on the user, their issues and habits, but rarely have I heard about what impact these have on all of us. It makes me feel sad when I see someone being controlled by their addiction to drugs, because I see a life that is not being lived in full. Everyone deserves to be loved, and drug abuse is a huge block against feeling the love that people have for you when the drugs are in control of your body.
Only the true leaders have come from challenging and not pandering to the ill norms of humanity.
Whenever I moved countries, changed communities and social circles, I was encountered with a different set of normals that fascinated me and made me see the ‘wrongs’ in the previous set and gladly adapted myself into the new so I assumed upgraded set. Whilst it gave me opportunities to experience different things, and ways of thinking and behaviour, and some newer normal seemed to make more sense, and I considered myself becoming more worldly than before, making a different, wiser choice, the truth is I was not, I was just swapping borrowed hats. Those normals often had no correlation with the normals that my body would register and know innately.
When I chose to stop drinking alcohol it was like you a choice that came from my whole body – I’d never enjoyed it and often just drank because that’s what everyone seemed to do and I wanted to ‘fit in’. Now I enjoy people’s company more than ever, I feel more authentically connected with myself and with that more truly open, engaged and loving with others, something that alcohol never supported me to be.
The truth about drugs and alcohol is easy to feel but for many it is difficult to accept. I can understand this as I spent many years taking drugs and alcohol, knowing full well that it was not good for my body or my life in general. The escape these substances offered was too good to resist. Since quitting drugs and alcohol I can see I have shifted this same game to food and drink. There are foods and drinks that I know cause my body harm and yet I find a way to justify consumption as they offer some relief from life.
We are here to reflect another way, a true way, rather than to conform to societal ways of living that actually make no sense.
Once one uses one’s body’s wellbeing as the marker of ‘normal’ it is quite shocking as to how much that is accepted as ‘normal’ is actually abnormal.
Drinking alcohol is deadly and insidious but no amount of social conforming can cover up this Truth from the body.
Once upon a time I thought that drinking alcohol was just something that everybody does and that there is no real alternative if you want to live a happy life. Today that so-called happy life is now not a happy life at all. I am thankful to myself for ceasing to drink alcohol when I knew all along there was nothing truly ‘happy’ about it.
It’s interesting how we form beliefs based on what we see around us.
I do not feel rejection or a sense of loss now when expressing to friends or family how I feel eg. recently I was invited to a gathering with friends but I felt it would support me to stay at home and rest. What was interesting was how I was feeling didn’t come into it. How could I miss it?! How could I place myself first and not go? But where I am today I can no longer ignore my body and every time I do listen to it, no party, going out or social gatherings can do justice in that moment than the tender love I give to myself.
What is deemed normal is certainly not natural, especially when it comes to drugs and alcohol and the way we treat each other. And on another note: saying that weed is natural to defend its use is akin to saying that snake venom is natural, which it is. What is the label ‘natural’ supposed to confirm here?
I gave up drinking over eleven years ago – and that’s 4 years prior to any involvement with Universal Medicine. I love my life without alcohol. The desire for it left me gradually over a period of a few years whilst at the same time witnessing someone close to me battle with ‘problem drinking’ that made it all very unattractive. Normalisation is a strong force in our societies but for me, there are greater powers within us to connect to if we choose to. In addition, the feeling of natural harmony in the body when it is not having to spend its energy eliminating unnecessary toxins is a beautiful confirmation of a truly healthy choice.
I am soooo glad I do not drink or smoke now. i could feel the damage it was doing to my body when I was doing it but … It was normal to drink and smoke this much, because everyone else was doing it! This is the danger or normal and just how we can normalise something that is so far away from our truth and we have done this with many many things. The other term for this is also arrogance, arrogant that we are ‘in control’ and despite what we are doing to our bodies on some level, even though it affects others, think we are bullet proof and it will have no affect on us. Crazy right. And arrogant.
It’s a great point that what we’ve generally accepted as normal may indeed not be at all normal nor harmonious for our whole body and being and so it is well worth listening to our whole body and not overriding its signals…
The reflection of choosing not to drink is very confronting, thus the justification and sometimes hostility that comes from those who are still under alcohol’s spell.
I can attest to everything shared here, the pressure from our social circles to not change the code of conduct is huge. What was very interesting for me was at times, how much I thought I was the one that was making the ‘wrong’ choice. Yet even this did not push me to continue with the old way of being with alcohol that I used to live. Because, I knew from my own body the damage it was causing both my physical and mental wellbeing.
It is interesting the way that as a society we have come to champion and entice that which is a poison to our bodies, I too was caught up in the consciousness of a wine connoisseur once but this didn’t last long as my body spoke louder and louder for me to come back to my senses and choose that which was true for me.
The name calling of those that choose to not drink alcohol, and the blame game of why, is really a form of bullying. It shows that those who drink are not strong in their personal choice, that they too perhaps can feel how untrue it is, otherwise why would they need to bully others to do the same? I agree AG, people can react to the reflection of someone choosing to do something that is true for them and honouring of the body.
Just because something has been done for a long time or is done or used by many people doesn’t necessarily mean it is healthy or truly ‘normal’ for us to partake in…
We make many choices in life, and when we make choices in order to fit in with others we lose who we are, however when we are true to ourselves and stand up for what we know to be true we offer a great reflection back for others to see that it is a matter of choice.
When we become part of a group it’s as though we sign up for the over-riding consciousness and beliefs of that group. For example, as drug users, this is the way to go and anything else is un-cool. Or for heavy drinkers, this is the way and drugs may be seen as evil. Are we really thinking for ourselves or just subscribing to sets of beliefs?
Recently my partner and I (we both don’t drink) began having dinner outside with friends. Some of our friends choose to drink. I would observe the change in them when they have their first sip of alcohol and they would clearly shift and become someone they are not. Just by observing and choosing to see this change allows me to stay steady with myself. The more I stay steady, the more my friends who were drinking wanted to drink more. So I observed some more. More alcohol and medication is needed to numb out the comparison that is present when steadiness does not waver. Staying more steady and remaining in joy and acceptance to people, we enjoy the dinner and then head home.
Great blog AG. I had also given up all my drug and alcohol addictions long before coming across Universal Medicine. In fact these addictions gave me up . . . I found I got to a stage where a sip more that two glasses of wine would have me suffer the hangover from hell often lasting 2 days and as for smoking marijuana the last time I gave it a go after years of abstinence I was in such a paranoid state of anxiety I was just marking time until it wore off and wondering it I was ever going to come back from it. So as you say I find people would prefer to blame Universal Medicine or completely avoid me for choices I had made many years prior rather than face the reality of their own choices.
True friendships are not dependent on compliance, shared behaviour, or the human elements of our existence they are more about our connection to others on a deeper level, a level where we know we are equal despite our outward differences, a level where we have a love and understanding of each other and an often unspoken intention to support each other and allow each other to grow and evolve at our own pace, knowing that we are all in this together and all, knowingly or not, on our path of return.
“alcohol is a drug that our society has NORMALISED” and Government recommended limits that are in place as an attempt at limiting damage have been interpreted as saying that drinking alcohol is ok. When we choose to listen to the recommendations of our own body we may make very different choices.
We tend to see our friends as people who you get along well with. But in truth, they are often mirrors of ourselves. They confirm us. Yet that confirmation may come in two kinds: those who confirm what is true about you and those confirm you get away from you. Any friendship forged around addictions (alcohol, drugs, tobacco, etc). is not a true one and it naturally dissolves the moment you say no to the addiction. They cease to want to be with you. There is, as there was, no truth in those and what you did.
Once we make a decision from our body in full authority then it doesn’t matter what another says or implies or suggests or tries to pressure us into doing, there is not one cell in our being that will go there again. And this has nothing to do with willpower, trying to use willpower I have found there is always still an opening to be hooked back in.
Thank you AG for a great blog, it is amazing that when we normalise a behaviour, we then think it is ok because that is what most of society chooses, with little regard for what it is doing to our bodies. When we come to understand that we are responsible for the choices that we are making and be honest with what we are feeling true change can come, these life destroying habits will no longer be a part of our lives, our health becomes more important than belonging to a group.
AG, I am huge fan of the way you write, it holds your reader in understanding but does not spare any hard truth, its solid from pillar to post. I was once apart of what our society has depicted “normal”. I would drink at every social event, among other things, in fact anything that was going, I was up for. Now after not drinking or using drugs for over ten years I am again faced with a new challenge of having my staff that I have employed all drinking and taking drugs wanting me to join in. I am having old feeing arise and its not because I want to drink or take drugs again, its a feeling of being left out, of feeling like unless you are apart of the “norm” you are viewed as not fun. It makes me sad that the world operates with so much reliance on mind and body altering liquids and substances in order to relate to one another.
We can make our own normal, and we can set our own principles and standards based on the life we want to live. There’s nothing normal about whats going on in the world at the moment, and the amount of harm, lies and ugliness, if we don’t like it, it’s up to us to choose something different.
Brilliant blog AG, I agree we have a world of choices but we often think that we don’t and too often allow outside influences affect our choices instead of listening to our inner voice and how our body feels. It is empowering when we make a truly loving choice to honour how we feel and this also can inspire others too.
That sense of shared belonging – ‘everyone is doing it’ – there’s so many example of that, the things that has become normalised, a tradition, and I often suspect that that ‘everyone’ is a group of people and on a individual basis none of them actually secretly agrees or likes it in their deepest honesty but stick with it just because ‘everyone’ is doing it, and longing for someone to step up and say ‘Well, actually…’ and call a stop. We could all start being that ‘someone’ for our own selves, if for everyone else is a bit too much.
It is a peculiar thing in a way, to stand outside the ‘ring’ of alcohol or drug use one once imbibed in, and actually not feel the slightest urge to re-enter that ring in any way whatsoever. No craving from the body, no seeking relief from the mind and emotions, and definitely no wish at all to change one’s state of being through such use.
And yet, this is how I feel today AG – not a drop of alcohol (which was once my drug of choice) for over 10 years and feeling too consistently amazing to even have a thought enter that a ‘drop of red’ would be a good thing.
This will of course sound odd and perhaps extreme even to those remaining within the ‘ring’ of use, but what I’ve learnt is that when one attends to one’s own healing in life, and true respect for the body and the amazing being that we are, what we once thought was ‘great’ can change… The truth of the harm of such substances is something no part of me fights or lives in double standards with at all today, and this is also due to the greatness of inspiration, teachings and wisdom shared by Serge Benhayon… who, by the way, I have never, ever heard tell myself or anyone NOT to use any such substances.
So true, Victoria, once one steps out of a ‘ring’ it is inconceivable to imagine ever stepping back into one that one has left – I have discovered there are layers of ‘rings’ like an onion which I keep peeling away.
Drugs and alcohol are tools people use for bonding when bonding when you are un-altered is not really an option. Drugs and alcohol are tools people use to connect to others based on the general difficulty of connecting to themselves and to others. They teach a way of relating to others where you share space and time but essentially you are in your own world (actually not even there). They generate relationships of accomplices. It is not though, a shared journey but joint loneliness.
It can be very interesting how other people respond when we choose to say ‘No’ to something that is no longer supporting us. It can be saying ‘No to alcohol, ‘No’ to charity or simply saying ‘No’ to a group of friends because there’s a feeling that something is not quite right but whatever the reason when we do listen and take heed we are confirmed in some way and then we just know it is the true decision for us no matter how much persuasion to go back into our comfort.
If we took all alcohol away society would then just replace this with another pattern of behaviour or substance that had the same effect of numbing us out to all that is going on around us.
Its not just the alcohol we need to address but the underlying cause of what leads to the drinking.
This is so true MW, we definitely have to look much deeper and heal what drives us to make unloving choices and behaviours. As a society we have been avoiding this level of responsibility and it is way overdue for us all to embrace.
I am learning that being true to ourselves is much more important than compromising and fitting in in our relationships. When we are true to ourselves this allows true choice for all in all of our relationships. Compromising to keep situations as they are, stifles ourselves, others and the growth of our relationships.
It sure does Jennifer, by us believing that we are being a true friend by going along with something that is actually harmful for ourselves and the other person we then keep confirming that it is okay. This is the truth that many do not want to admit or remember.
Ingrained social patterns, norms and expectations are certainly harmful if we live our lives by them. As you have pointed out AG these ‘norms’ can be addictive if we do not choose another, truer way of living. Yes we always have a choice, always.
It’s true Universal Medicine have a new take on normal, or rather, an old take on normal – in that if things hurts you, if things damages your body or causes illness and disease in the way alcohol and drugs do then is it really truly the best thing to choose? It makes sense to me…
Just because something appears to be the norm does not mean there are no consequences.
Just because something is normal or traditional does not make it true.
To me friends are people who love you for who you are, not for what you do or don’t do. For those who walk away because a friend is making more and more loving choices, they are the ones losing out.
The normalisation of alcohol and drugs is leading astray more than one generation. Time to say as you have done.. there is another way.
I heard a physician say the the other day that if alcohol was to go through the rigorous drug testing that is required today to get a new drug to market – it would not get through the toxicity testing. This is a remarkable condemnation of something that is so easily acceptable and available throughout a world that is suffering through explosive illness and disease rates. The fact is that alcohol has us all hoodwinked – we level out with its use after a trying time at work, we rage on the weekends when we have space to let our hair down, we will blame it for moods and swings yet not stop to put it aside and reassess and dismiss that which is not supporting us.
“The societal expectation … and the imposition that this is expected behaviour….. is where the real lack of choice is imposed.”
I’ve quoted you here in this way because what you are describing can apply to just about anything. People are free to live in ways that cause illness and disease but when they begin making truly supportive choices our lack of freedom becomes undeniably apparent.
We get sold and buy into pictures about every aspect of ourselves and of life that are rigid and that come with this perception that there is no other way other than this way. From Universal Medicine I have learnt this to be a complete lie, there are always different angles on life to be aware of and through connecting to my body, to others, the world around me I open up to those other dimensions on the life that once used to be straightforward and limited.
Very comprehensive blog and very exposing of the pressures and responses that occur when people choose not to partake in drugs and alcohol, I have been on both sides of that line in respect to alcohol and it is my opinion that it is the discomfort of knowing the harm of alcohol that makes us react to the reflection of one who does not wish to drink.
I once had a family member refuse to come and stay with us because there was no alcohol on offer for dinner. For him the relationship with booze was more important than his relationship with us. It was deeply hurtful, until I realised how revealing it was as to the other persons choices and to not take it so personally.
Your title really says it all, we go along with life thinking there is no choice and were taught everything’s random, but what if we have a choice every single moment of everyday, and all these little choices equal that big one event we call ‘random’?
Thank you for exposing what is viewed in society as ‘normal’ is actually very harming to the body. With conditions such as obesity, diabetes and domestic violence constantly rising humanity can no longer ignore the truth and how damaging these so called ‘normal’ behaviours are to our relationships, life and own bodies.
Normalising behaviours that are poisonous and harmful is really damaging – it’s like we can defiantly entrench ourselves further in the ill behaviour because we’re justified in the ‘normality’.
It is somewhat crazy that when enough people are doing something that this “behaviour becomes NORMALISED… no-one questions it”, even though the behaviour is causing devastation to their bodies and often harm to others. Why as a society are we so open to being drawn into taking part in behaviours that somewhere deep inside we probably know are no good for us? – Perhaps to fit in, be a part of a group or just to have what we think is a good time. I’m sure if we asked our body if it was having a good time when it is having copious amounts of alcohol poured into it the answer would be an emphatic no!
I chose to stop drinking alcohol over ten years ago now, so it had nothing to do with my relationship with Universal Medicine that began six years ago. Alcohol had very clearly become something incongruent with the way I wanted to live and in addition I had witnessed the devastating effects of alcohol addiction on a close friend. There have been many questions from friends about why I don’t drink and clearly some decided it was ‘strange’. My feeling was that if our friendship was dependant upon which liquid I chose to drink then it was a pretty shallow relationship and that any true friend would not be the slightest bit concerned about such a trivial matter. I love my life without alcohol today and find that my body functions so much better without it, more aligned with its truly harmonious nature rather than spending its life force eliminating toxins that I have imposed upon it. For me, giving up alcohol has been a self-loving choice and one I have not regretted for a moment.
It seems to be that when the majority of people are doing the same habit it then becomes the norm and accepted even though the norm can be so abusive and self destructive. It is time for a new normal to come forward one with self love and self care as its basis.
As a society we have normalised such behaviours that are harming for our bodies, it is only until we start to build a relationship with our bodies with honesty, love and care that we can start to break away from the grip of such addictions that we have relied upon to fill up the void of our disconnection.
Societal expectation is a crucial factor for many of our behaviours even when we consider ourselves to be free of it or think because we understand what is going on it wouldn´t affect us or we easily can extract ourselves from it. The need to belong, to be accepted, be part of our social group and not stand alone rejected, ridiculed or being shunt aside often makes us give in or compromise our truth. We need to honour and cherish ourselves, our wellbeing and truth more than the need to belong at all costs, only then will we be ourselves and inspire others to also be themselves.
It feels only natural to me that the more connected we are with ourselves, the clearer we can see the choices we are making, therefore more able to make changes that are of benefit to ourselves It’s a bitter pill to swallow when we realise how we have been fooling ourselves by thinking that we were free to make choices when in fact all we were doing was just conforming to the energy that was keeping us away from our awareness – then again, it is our choice whether to carry on being fooled, or not.
We innately know that there is a choice but who is really aware of how that looks like? Before Universal Medicine has presented with absolute clarity that there are only 2 available choices to be made, the choice to align either to spirit or Soul, I have not known anyone or read anything that was aware of this fundamental energetic fact. Although there is a sense in us it is not necessarily a conscious knowing and when we start to realize that most of what the world is offering us deliberately conceals this crucial fact we may ask what is actually going on, what kind of consciousness are we engulfed by. Nevertheless, the difference is known inside, we either choose love or everything that is not love. And here comes our responsibility into play – what do we choose in every moment?!
The normalised and widely accepted comfort of drinking alcohol, using recreational drugs or even eating certain non-nurturing foods or the culture of coffee drinking doesn´t allow to be challenged by those who recognise the negative effects and choose differently. Just the choice of saying no to not just something harming but to the comfort it provides is at times stirring up reactions in those who don´t want to see and admit that they don´t have these substances just for the taste, style, social connection etc but because of the emotional comfort it provides to not look at the underlying unresolved issues that need to be silenced.
Serge Benhayon was the first person I met who showed that we do have the strength within us to say no to these accepted social normalities that go against what is loving and supportive for our bodies and our relationships with others. One example is swearing, it feels horrible to give and receive yet we take it unquestionably. By learning that I can express my feelings in a way that is supportive, my wanting to swear or hide under being a tough person with a ‘trench-mouth’ has dissipated, without perfection especially if I get an injury. But the point is as you’ve shared there are so many unspoken rules that are harming but there is a choice available to say no.
I have found that whilst alcohol is chosen to be together as a group, to fit in, to belong, that the opposite, is what happens, in time. No amount of alcohol gave me the feeling of warmth and the joy of truly being with people that I now enjoy, with no alcohol in sight.
Alcohol is poison in our bodies- full stop.! We can defend it as much as we like but the fact is we cannot escape the ills effects it has on our bodies and the delay of our own evolution.
It is always interesting when you give up a vice. It upsets those who are accustomed to us being in compliance with their particular form of medication be it drugs, alcohol, sport or even blobbing out eating rubbish together. It seems that ‘getting out of it’ together is a common and safe way people feel they can be with other without getting hurt when in fact we are simply adding to the hurt on so many levels. Makes no sense when all we really want is true connection and often use these things to compensate for the loss of such connection,
Years ago I had a girlfriend who was into drugs when she met me. Very quickly, she went “sober” if you like. Everything was off bounds except for alcohol, of which I freely took part in. One night she said to me, you realise that alcohol is just a drug, no different to any other. And to take it further, then dropped this bomb – “and of course you realise that adrenaline is a drug also.” To which I countered, yes, but it is a natural high and therefore OK.” How wrong was I, and how wise was she in that moment. True wisdom is deep within every human being, waiting to be connected to. It requires no degree or qualification, just a moment of pure honesty and observation.
When I stopped smoking marijuana all the ‘friends’ I hung out with all dropped away, as the only commonality we had was smoking dope. There was no connection, no true care and no friendship. As well, they could not handle the reflection, that they too could stop and get off the merry go round, if they chose to like I had.
Leaving behind any choice entailing alcohol (like, do I drink or stay sober?), allows us to focus on the real choices we are here to make.
I agree it is normal to drink and take drugs in many circles, and it is a part of the University and school culture. Yet we all know it damages our body – we seem to have adopted the mentality of a little bit of harm or abuse for the body is ok and we can recover from it. But what if we truly looked after our bodies so they do not need to recover, how would we then be? How much extra energy and vitality would we then have?
Hi AG, I have revisited this powerful blog, there is so much in this article, it begs the question if we are giving Alcohol a free pass and not addressing it like we would other drugs. A friend that doesn’t drink once told me his Dad was coming to visit from inter state, he said that his Dad hassles him so much to have a beer with him when he visits that now he just drinks one to keep him happy. This is a simple example of the socially acceptable pressure’s we face to consume a harmful substance/drug with others.
Fascinating and fabulous article on drug and alcohol use. The social pressure and the normalising of drug and alcohol use you explain so well AG. I think virtually everyone who has made the choice not to drink has been pressurised or ridiculed at some point. As a former drinker I know that feeling of discomfort at someone in the group not drinking, exposing my own self abuse through the poison I am ingesting. Those words can seem harsh but they are also the harsh reality, and it is ridiculous that we bully one another into making choices that are ultimately harmful to the body, all so we don’t have to feel the truth of our own actions. Drink or not to drink, but a choice made from within, not from outwith.
I have to wonder if alcohol was a new drug or food and its social implications and damaging repercussions on our body, emotions and daily lives was studied with honesty, if it would today in this day and age be approved as safe and harmless.
Learning to listen to my body has influenced many choices I have made in the way I live. There have been many losses along the way, relationships, friendships, social opportunities, rewards etc, but re-connecting to my body has brought the most amazing love, self care and unwavering support and a constancy all coming from me. Universal Medicine has confirmed the decisions I have made but I too, started to make these changes before Universal Medicine. Humanity is caught up in numbing, shutting down, separating from their innate wisdom which is all stored in their body. Sadly this impacts on those that chose another way because the reflection of love that is brought is too bright for some to be around. Commitment to remaining true to self and bringing this out into the world allows others to know that there is a choice and it is one they can make anytime.
I stopped drinking alcohol quite a few years before becoming a Student of Universal Medicine, and my experience was similar in that my friends felt very threatened by, and took very personally my choice to stop drinking. I can completely understand it as when one of our ‘mirrors’ ie. those we socialise with who are joining with the normalised behaviours of that group- suddenly stops reflecting the same thing and is showing there is a choice to be made that calls into question the group behaviour, we are confronted with the fact that we too have a choice and that perhaps the one we are making is not so great. That’s the thing about reflections when they show another way, they are actually reflecting to us ourselves – the part of ourselves we have denied and buried in order to continue with irresponsible and harming behaviour, but which we know in our hearts is true.
When behaviours are normalised it is nearly impossible to challenge them without adverse reactions, even when you only have to scratch the surface to see the harm caused by them worldwide. But I have learnt that when normalised like drugs and alcohol are, sometimes you have to come to experience the harm personally and even significantly before you are prepared to hear, let alone change.
Although I never took drugs, I used to drink alcohol, and while I never considered this to be to any excess, I was amongst those that ‘normalised’ and heralded alcohol as my reward and so that I could become the party entertainer (even though at the same time, I touted living a ‘healthy’ lifestyle). I realise now looking back that I actually felt uncomfortable when there were non-drinkers in a social setting and would try to encourage them to drink. And so I acted as though ‘they’ were the strange ones, rather than take any responsibility for the poison I was putting into my own body and / or why I needed alcohol in the first place. When I gave up drinking about 6 years ago – it was a super clear and easy choice – one which was based on beginning to make more self-loving choices and one that was prepared to be honest about the way I was using alcohol to escape and check-out from life and to take responsibility for the harm it was not only doing to my body, but to others around me.
Hello AG,
Thank you for your awesome blog, when I begun attending presentations by Universal Medicine, I was still drinking, things in my life had gotten quite ugly in fact. Similar to your experience I had chosen to surround myself with people that thought it normal to go to the pub everyday. My routine was work all night, sleep in, when I got up, I would go for a coffee and then head straight to the pub. When I moved to the city, the routine changed slightly to drinking wine at the coffee shop in the morning too before the pub, as the coffee shops in the city were licensed.
Every few weeks I would brake down physically and I was completely addicted to pain killers, I was always trying to quite drinking but never succeeding, that lead to me feeling even worse.
When I begun to hear Serge talk, something just clicked for me, the choice to stop drink was easy but gradual. Many people accused me of being weird and I lost lots of friends. The question I asked is were they my friends or drinking buddies? The people that care about you don’t care if you drink or not, what you choose to eat of if you are religious, they just care about you.
It’s quite shocking that drinking a poison has become normal, even more shocking that if you choose not to ingest a poison that’s such an unusual decision that you must have been coerced into it. Where are we at as a human race for this to be normal?
When I read this blog I can’t help feeling that just one instance of domestic violence, abuse of a child or a deadly car accident caused by the presence of alcohol should be enough of a reason for us all to stand up and say this substance causes great harm and has absolutely no place in society.
Such an important point you make here: we have a choice!! But I know for me growing up I didn’t really realise I had a choice, I thought that was just how life was, or perhaps it was more I liked to believe I had no choice because I knew that making the choice would cause ripples!
I agree with you AG, it is very important to look outside ingrained and normalised social patterns and behaviours. We have a choice as to whether we stay inside these social norms or step outside and live a life feeling into what we believe to be true. Thank you AG for highlighting that we always have a choice, always.
There is a campaign in the UK which has been ongoing for years but gaining some traction, that marijuana should be legalised, which on reflection seems like yet another diversion away from what we really should be looking at and addressing, our desire to numb our bodies with substances that takes us further away from the gloriousness of who we are. A glory we have long forgotten in our quest to not feel that which we don’t want to feel, the hurts of separating from this magnificence, an unwillingness to get to the root cause of the pain we are in, instead wishing to legalise a very loveless behaviour that does not to bring people together, instead separating them, which is the very opposite of what life should be all about.
“Why would Universal Medicine cop the blame? Because the reflection that I was actually making a choice from my own volition for my own health, was too confronting to accept, and would require consideration of the fact that alcohol is harmful to the body. It is harmful to social relations. It might mean that the truth of the situation would have to be examined.” You’ve made really crucial point here AG and the responsibility is far too much for some – at this stage.
It is crazy how we have ‘normalised’ a known poison such as alcohol with the vast majority of the population drinking copious amounts of it without alarm bells being sent off at all. Once we thought it was ok to smoke and it was fashionable to do it, I wonder when the day will come when alcohol will have the same warning signs on their bottles as the labels on cigarette packets.
I agree – it literally makes no sense that it’s normal to poison ourselves, and that such a large proportion of the population are perfectly happy to poison themselves several times a week, or even every day. If we call alcohol out for what it is – the situation suddenly seems quite shocking.
A great blog Alison highlighting the power of choice in each and every moment. I spent most of my teenage years and beyond following what everyone else was doing because it was considered ‘normal’. I never once stopped and questioned my choice to drink or do drugs when it was obvious that it harmed my body and I didn’t enjoy it – I just overrode any message my body gave me and carried on regardless because that was the cool thing to do. Thanks to Universal Medicine presentations I have more regard for my body and make choices that are more loving and wise now rather than what makes me popular.
“a significant amount of violent crime (including domestic violence and other violence against women) would not occur if alcohol was not used, or that a significant number of road accidents resulting in death would not occur if alcohol was not used” It is interesting that we refer to drug ‘use’ and here it is also alcohol ‘use’ showing that anything we use to take us out of ourselves is a mind altering drug. As more and more people are choosing to say ‘yes’ to staying with themselves and not checking out with drug use, it is gradually becoming the ‘norm’ to not use alcohol or other drugs. Each person making the choice makes a difference.
‘we often find it hard to see the view from outside our normalised patterns and behaviours.’ This is true. Thank you for sharing with us how you managed to break out of this. Sometimes we have to be quite radical. When I returned from living in the States I consciously kept a very low profile and did not contact any of my former friends because I did not want any connection with marijuana. I had been away long enough and I was far enough away from them that this was not too difficult but it did mean starting again from scratch. I am so glad I did so.
I had an experience yesterday of a conversation with a person who was very clear about their dislike of smoking and indeed the whole tobacco industry. I then raised the subject of the alcohol industry, the harm that alcohol does, the amount of Domestic Abuse it contributes to. This person then made reference to a scientist friend of hers who having not drunk alcohol for 12 years, decided, having studied the apparent ‘health benefits of moderate drinking’, to take up drinking alcohol again. The thing was, this was very clearly her way of justifying her own choice to drink alcohol. She seemed incredibly uncomfortable that I have made a very clear decision not to drink – but why? What does it matter to her if I choose not to drink? And why does the choice to drink alcohol need to be justified? It seems to me that when we seek to justify something we are in truth trying to convince ourselves – because we are uncertain that what we are doing is a truly loving choice.
It is interesting that when it comes to stress that we talk about coping strategies rather than finding any true answers. I wonder if as a society we are secretly ok with having stressful lives because it offers us the justification for indulging in ‘coping strategies’ like drinking alcohol, overeating, smoking et al.
Good point about being in places that feel uncomfortable Mark Payne. I am reminded of being in pubs or at parties and not drinking and the energy in the place shifting at some point to a degree that conversations stopped making sense and behaviours become rather bizarre. It was like something entered the room and the whole group was affected by it. Then the desire to leave was very strong very often I did – it was indeed too uncomfortable to stay.
I attended a meeting last week to discuss stress levels amongst a particular group of people in an organisation. As part of the basis of the discussion, an exercise took place where the participants were asked to identify their stress coping strategies and in three of the four groups, drinking alcohol was presented as a strategy. In fact binge drinking was offered as a method by one group. For some it is seen as you say AG as ‘the only way to relax’ and yet this is clearly not true. There are so many ways to relax in our world. Yet the suggestion that people consider how much sleep they get and the quality of that sleep was met with derision. Where does this need to deride a simple self-loving choice come from? And where does the need to belittle those who do live self-loving lives arise from? We have things back to front or upside down in this world if this is anything to go by.
Thanks AG. I too gave up drinking alcohol before I had any association with Universal Medicine – four years beforehand in fact. My interest in alcohol had dwindled over several years but the final straw was observing someone destroy their life through drinking. It isn’t fun, and to be frank, if a person is really that upset by what is in your glass rather than who you are then the whole relationship is pretty questionable isn’t it. On one occasion I recall a friend asking me why I don’t drink and I explained. But surely, it makes more sense to question why people do drink, not why some don’t. Alas, as you say, it has become too much the norm that the non-sense prevails!
Even though you wrote this just over three years ago AG it is just as relevant as it was then; in fact, with no visible decrease in the amount of alcohol consumed and drugs taken; with an increase in alcohol related domestic abuse and vehicle accidents, it is actually more relevant today. It is as if the majority of society do not consider that they always have a choice to do something differently, and why would they when alcohol, drug use, abuse, and so much more is becoming normalised – it’s the “everyone else is doing it so it’s ok for me to do it too” attitude! Universal Medicine teachings have highlighted the fact that there is another way, as you, I and many others have discovered to be true, and from changing our choices we have changed our lives in so many amazing ways. So like you have shared, there is “a world of choice out there”, but we need to be reminded, that in every single moment that a choice is there to be made, and the decision to make that choice is ours, and ours alone, as are the consequences.
Thank you for simply unfolding in depth how very ingrained our behaviour around alcohol and drugs are. It is almost insane that we defend the use of these substances to such a degree considering how very harmful we know them to be.
It’s interesting that if we choose something that most would not, people don’t like it. It feels good to question societal norms and choose a healthier and more harmonious way.
Beautifully said AG. It is sad to realise through our ‘normalised’ ways of going along with the crowd how we inevitably slip into a semi comatosed state devoid of loving choices. Coming to for just long enough to remember it is of our choosing that we find ourselves where we are, we can begin to emerge to see equally the array of choices available to us are vast.
Exactly what is ‘normal’, my choosing not to drink can some times I have noticed result in people feeling uncomfortable…I can only relate back to how I used think when I was drinking, I used to be surprised when others did not want to join in with the ‘ritual’. There is a great pressure to conform and join in with what is going on concerning alcohol in society. Some friends aren’t quite sure what to do with me now, as our long friendships grow up with us sharing a drink together. My choice has shifted things in my relationships and brings up questions. This blog is great, it is exposing concerning alcohol and drug use and how it is a more a question what we consider ‘normal’ rather than being a common sense loving choice to make for ourselves. How many of our choices come from fitting into the ‘norm’ rather than feeling for ourselves?
It is so true what you say and indeed why stop with drugs and alcohol. This kind of normalising of non-loving, abusive and harmful behaviour is rife amongst our dishonest, irresponsible and championed way of living. For example what about sport and competition? How many athletes abuse and harm their bodies and how healthy is it to boo at each other (as is currently happening in Australia big time) and fight at football matches? These things are even happening at school sports days – what kind of training and examples are we setting our children?… and then why do we call poisoning our bodies with lots of sugar, fat and gluten in the form of a big cake having a treat?… there are examples like this everywhere!
I like your expansion of this topic Nicola. It is very true, it does not stop nor does it start with alcohol and drugs, there are so many harming behaviours we deem normal that are not normal at all when it comes to the true well being of our bodies. To live truer to our bodies’ natural rhythm and needs every day is something we as a humanity desperately need to start to take responsibility for.
Very true Nicola Lessing. Yes, drugs and alcohol are the obvious things here, but as you say, there are so many others and of course, if they are compared to these obviously self-abusive behaviours, they seem rather petty, but if we ‘ask our bodies’ to be the measure of such things, we always come to the truth.
Alcohol has been a socially acceptable “norm” for generations and drugs aren’t far behind. It is up to everyone to respect the choices of others as to whether or not they partake in them recreationally or otherwise. I know when I gave up alcohol the friends I lost were drinking buddies not true friends. My true friends accept my choice not to drink and not to be around them when they are drinking.
AG it’s so true that we have normalised what is far from what would be normal for bodies if we were listening to it! Time for us to let go of doing things just because it is socially acceptable and use our own bodies as the checking point for true acceptability.
Thank you AG for highlighting how crazy it can be to follow soical norms in complete ignorance of what it is actually doing to our reality. Universal Medicine has been a great support in questioning the quality of these social norms if not imposed only ways to be. Since applying what UM has presented I am left with lessening doubts and more clarity in knowing that my body shows me what choices are true or not to make. I may be called names for waring a hat and gloves in July on a cooler day but I feel cared for and supported to be in life rather than seeking to escape my ill choice to follow the ‘summer=shirts’ rules.
Thank you AG I have been learning to develop my own normal and the truest way to do this is by listening to my body. What I am finding is that my body never lies it will always tell me if I have overeaten, if the food or drink I consumed didn’t agree with me. I am finding developing a relationship with my body to be a awesome support.
‘Learning to develop my own normal’, I like this Bianca as you allow yourself to find out what normal is for you, and with this openness we will find that what is normal is not a stagnant state of being but is a constant new marker of what our bodies need to stay clear and most vital to carry us through the day.
AG great writing on the ‘norms’ around drug and alcohol use. I too did both of these things quite heavily and while I had stopped both at various times in my life, I too succumbed to the pressure from others. After attending Universal Medicine course and being confirmed in what I already knew was true for me I gave up both the alcohol and drugs permanently. While most of my friends struggled with this initially as all our interactions were based on one or both of these substances, today I have very strong and loving relationships with them all where we all respect each others choices to drink or not and have no need for any of us to be change those choices.
When you think about it… it is so weird that we judge people on things like drinking alcohol or not, using drugs or not etc. when for me connection with people, to their being, is what life is now all about and not if they do something I do.
I like what you are saying here Lieke, that it is the connection to people you enjoy and not whether the things you do another likes to do too. When we take this as a new marker for all of us we take a lot of pressure out of any social event.
A great exposure of what’s really going on, the consciousness around these drugs of choice and the true harm to the user and society as a whole. Indeed a confronting issue… superbly addressed.
AG I feel you make some really important points here, so many of the unhealthful choices we make are often backed by societal norms and peers. What is refreshing is being able to stand in our own truth, feel from our own bodies and make choices that support our health. This is the alternative approach that Universal medicine presents, what we choose is up to us to feel and live for ourselves. At the end of the day it is we who must live with our choices and for me choosing myself and my health just makes sense.
I’ve found relationships have changed as I’ve chosen to live a life of self care and responsibility. I witness the end result of our choices every day at work and the statistics is evidence that our life choices are the cause.
‘If the harmful health effects were brought up – psychosis, depression, anxiety, lung cancer and death (just to name a few) ‘ and yet these effects are treated lightly or ignored- what the ? Isn’t it interesting how people drink or partake in things to keep others happy, yet it’s not good for the persons health in the first place. Why does it make people uncomfortable when others don’t drink anyway?
When I read the first paragraphs of this article I felt rather shocked as drugs were not part of the peer pressure while I was growing up. A definite sense of ‘how could they be so stupid?’ And then I read “alcohol is a drug that our society has NORMALISED” and I realised that I had behaved no differently to those in later years who had taken drugs. I did not over-used alcohol but did think it marked that I was now ‘grown up’ and that to fit in with any social occasion then alcohol was the norm. I chose to ignore how rough I felt the following day.
Making the choice to no longer drink alcohol at first I felt rather left out and not part of ‘the normal’ but now it is so normal for me to chose to not drink alcohol this feels completely normal for me.
I thoroughly enjoyed the your blog and clarity you bring around the social normalisation around alcohol and in certain circles drug use.
It is rather odd that if one chooses not to drink alcohol, it is considered odd and often we have to defend that position.
I can relate to what you have said here Thomas as to what happens when you stop drinking. It does seem “rather odd” that we often slip into defense mode as to the choice we have made, which is actually a loving choice that respects our wonderful body, and makes total sense.
Universal Medicine has presented, as you have shared here AG, that each and every one of us has and makes a choice in every single moment, bar none. And yet what you have highlighted here is how much society makes choices to believe that we have no choices to make, because the group we choose to be in has more power over us. Why are we choosing to behave as if we don’t have a choice?
For me it has been because when I do feel my choices I get to feel the quality of those choices and at times it can be unpleasant, to downright feelings of deep pain. But this isn’t the be all and end all, because what Universal Medicine has also presented is what happens when we make true choices, loving choices, self-caring choices and how those feel to the body, bringing with them a huge impact.
Like you shared AG – don’t drink = feel good. Drink = Feel sick. But because those negative choices feel so horrible we can at times choose to believe that it is not so simple to change, but again we are choosing not to see what is there to see. That, in every moment we have a choice, be it not-love or love.
Thanks for your honest sharing AG and for reminding us the extent to which society has ‘normalised’ alcohol and the behaviors that it causes in those who consume it.
In my experience from when I was drinking and now, where I don’t drink, it can be very confronting for others to meet somebody who doesn’t drink and many stratagems are used to avoid feeling so confronted.
With Serge Benhayon you learn to increase your awareness (in fact it increases simply from taking more care of yourself) and that makes the choice not to drink much clearer and easier and it is therefore easier to manage the backlash from others. Still, as AG describes, some cherished relationships change.
Yes I agree Christoph. I attend many business functions and networking events and never eat or drink all the food and alcohol on offer. It is not an issue for me at all and it does not affect me at all if others are affected by my choices which they are at times. I have absolutely no judgement about their choice and am very comfortable with my own choice. There are occasions when I find myself lusting after some crunchy fried morsel but connecting to the clarity and yumminess in my body and not compromising that for a moment of indulgence wins out. I also find that quite a lot of people at these events start talking to me about my food and drink choices. I never initiate these conversations but others do and it gives them an opportunity to consider another way. Often by the time people are on their second or third drink I leave. They might think I leave early, but really they left long before me!
Great blog AG, I really enjoyed how you examined these drugs as forming part of the social cohesion in groups and that the defence used to justify and keep everyone using is the same across all different drug types. Spotlighting alcohol was essential since it’s rarely considered as a drug or harmful nowadays. The more common something is the more we accept it as the norm and do not question it. The harm across society from alcohol is insidious, from health issues right through to the epidemic of street violence, domestic violence, and road accidents.
I love the way AG describes the rituals that accompany drug and alcohol use. I can see very clearly that these rituals are a bastardisation of the rituals we could use to truly connect to ourselves and each other.
How harmful it is AG when we accept behaviours that are unhealthy as normal, or just ‘the way it is’. Then we remained trapped in these abusive ways of being without the awareness of choice. That is why I admire you, Serge Benhayon, and others who are choosing to stand out; standing up in this sea of so-called normality and say ‘no this is not for me’. You show everyone that this normal we have become used to is not actually true.
Thank you AG for the clarity on such topic and for standing up for what felt truth to you and your body and for dismantling harmful behaviours that have become normalised in our society.
This blog has helped me to see how the rituals we take on that are working against our bodies can be steadfastly held on too. When ingrained in these altered ways of consciousness, the network of people, distraction and numbing brings a sense of comfort and belonging one finds hard to let go of. The pull of the body and the natural way can never be completely shutdown as shown here, and although the resistance is strong and opposition by others powerful, one knows what is true. Thank you AG for sharing your experience of the blinding effects of being caught up in sub-cultures and how hard it can be to free yourself from these. The rewards of being and living the love that you are – is amazing and is the gift that keeps on giving.
I love this blog as I know these rituals very well and the societal norms that can define who we are and what we do as being normal and okay when in fact they are far from it. I too had to literally step out of social clusters that contained themselves within specific rituals to see a world beyond what I had subscribed to as being ‘it’. What a hoax. Since stepping out I know and feel the fact that I do not need to be aligned or belong to any of these social rituals if I start with honouring myself and what is true for my body. This simple and true way of being has been presented to me by Universal Medicine and from experiencing and living it for myself. That in itself is all the evidence I need!
Thank you AG such a great sharing and one that we can all relate to. Just because the majority choose something like drug and alcohol use does not undo their harmful effects. It amazes me that we trick ourselves into thinking that we are ok just because other people choose the same behaviour. I certainly tricked myself for many years, ignoring the signs my body was showing me. It is so great to dismantle and expose this thinking and live a life that pays respect and honours what my body is lovingly communicating. If alcohol and drugs could be accepted by the body there would be no such thing as a hangover. Amazing how this can be overridden and ignored.
AG this blog is absolute essential reading for all – we have choices but we have manufactured a world whereby those choices become more closely linked with social situations and how we will be perceived over the truth of our bodies.
AG, you have shown a lot of courage to honestly look at the consequences of your drug and alcohol use on your body and decide to cease completely. I agree that the rituals that are linked to use of both these things is very heavily ingrained in cultures and people feel very threatened when you go against the ‘rules’. Initially I found I was a bit intimidated about telling others I wasn’t drinking anymore after I gave up alcohol – which showed the degree I was influenced by the expectations of others. Now I am happy to state that I don’t drink and leave others to their own reactions.
And there are even deeper layers of behaviors, that we humans can be addicted to, like self-loathing, playing small. Society responds with equal impositions, once we step out of these norms.
That for me is one of the reasons why Universal Medicine gets attacked.
Thanks AG, I found your blog to be really insightful and confirming at the same time. Yes why do people think it is weird when someone makes a true choice for their health, that is outside of the normal way of doing things? And why is it that when we stop certain behaviours friends don’t want to associate with you anymore simply because you chose to not drink alcohol? Thanks for answering those questions and more.
Than you AG for a very interesting and inspiring blog; I thoroughly enjoyed reading the information and experiences you presented.
“For me it was so important that I look outside ingrained social patterns and norms”
I feel this applies to us all i.e. to take responsibility for the choices we make in life and more specifically what we put into our bodies.
What an honest blog! As I reflect it amazes me how many people tried to persuade me to drink alcohol after I had given up! It was a process of claiming it in my body that alcohol was not for me but nevertheless we are under so much pressure in our society to drink alcohol.
We only need to listen to our body and it will confirm how toxic alcohol is. I image that there are very strict rules in labelling side affects for pharmaceutical drugs, so how would it be if this was applied to alcohol? For example: Warning! Consumption of alcohol will cause vomiting, blurred vision, restricted brain function, dehydration, heart palpitations, rash, hallucination, affects motor skills and speak, increase violent behaviour, may cause brain damage…..this is based on what I have observed and my own experience with alcohol but the list goes on. To me it is very clear that alcohol is highly toxic and there are no benefits to drinking it what so ever. So why do we choose to drink it? It gives us a short term relief from life. Is it possible that we use it as a form of escape from reality and responsibilities? I’d say definitely yes.
When poisoning ourselves with toxic beverage is ‘normal’, we really need to stop and ask ourselves what’s wrong with us the humanity. When I used to drink 10 years ago, this truth would simply fall on my deaf ears. It’s so true that once something is accepted as ‘normal’ and ‘the way it is’ we hardly ever question it, even when they are harming and/or not serving any more. This could be anything from substance abuse to totally out-dated rules and regulations we are bound by. We are so easily conditioned and domesticated to play a puppet.
Thank you AG. I agree that there is an incredibly strong force out there to align with the ‘norm’ of drinking alcohol and if you don’t people start to feel very uncomfortable, rejected and look at you like you have 2 heads! This is very sad that the majority of society champion alcohol as the answer to stress, social anxiety, grief, sadness, anger, fear and basically any emotion that is deemed to difficult to bear. These feelings are communicating to us where we are at and indicators of how we can develop and grow, to ignore these messages is to say no to evolution, to stagnate and this in truth, is distressing for most. I chose to stop drinking 5 years ago and it feels great to be living another way, and to be out of that stranglehold of alcohol is truly liberating.
AG that was a very powerful and totally awesome blog! I loved the absolute truth in all that you shared. Thank you for stating the facts regarding how society has normalised drugs and alcohol and its associated behaviours to such a degree it is numb to the reality of the damage and destruction they cause in our daily lives, and how this affects us all. Society truly needs to wake up and feel how deeply harming these lifestyle choices are and know there is another way to live, feel and be without the anaesthetic effect of drugs and alcohol dominating how you live.
Great comment Suse, as a parent I educate my children regarding the damage of alcohol. But the reality is when they get to their teenage years I feel that the pressure to drink will be increased even more. So if we can be honest and show them what is actually happening, the damage and destruction drugs and alcohol have on people, they can make their own choices when the time comes. Imagine what will our children choose if they are educated about the affects of drugs and alcohol from a young age at school?
AG I have wondered for a while how it would change things if we got a bit more honest about what we call alcoholic drinks .A quote from Wikipedia ‘Ethanol fuel is ethanol (ethyl alcohol), the same type of alcohol found in alcoholic beverages. It is most often used as a motor fuel, mainly as a biofuel additive for gasoline”. Wouldn’t it feel different if when getting the drinks in we said ‘what kind of flavoured petrol would you like ?’
I love your comment Alexis. When you put it like this I can imagine it doesn’t sound very appealing to anyone. My initial experiment with alcohol in my late teens confirmed how toxic it is. My body gave me very clear signs that it is extremely toxic.
Very awesome blog. I share the same experience as you, that “the drugs become the foundation of your social group – the rituals upon which it is based.” When I stopped drinking most of my friendships were exposed to be based on alcohol abuse as our foundation. It was so normalized that we didn’t even realise before, the weekend dinner, the Sunday lunch, three times a week going out for dinner and always starting with a chilled glass of white wine ending up with drinking a whole bottle. And that was only the “normal” ritual, when we partied then off course drugs were involved and the older we got the more they were coming into play as the necessary ingredient to be able to keep up with the hours of drinking and dancing that my body couldn’t cope with anymore.
When I decided to stop and invited friends over for an alcohol free lunch on Sunday they would simply find very reasonable excuses not to come and consistently avoided also bigger celebrations as I always communicated very clearly that it will be non alcoholic.
At the beginning I felt I lost friends, but then I realized that there was no true friendship as the alcohol addiction was stronger than the human connection. Very sad, but the truth of most friendships with similar foundations.
It sure is a quick way to find out if your friends like you or like what you do. I found that when I was taking drugs it was very rare for me to socialise unless I knew that it was going to involve drugs such was the normality of drug taking in my life at that time. Friendships that are formed whilst living that lifestyle are nearly always based on need as drug addicts are always looking for the next score.
tonysteenson I had a similar experience – scouting out who best to hang with in the knowing and full manipulation of the fact that drugs and a good time would be available. I had even chosen the ‘good times’ over my close intimate relationships – which one was I really married too?
This is a great understanding Rachel, alcohol connection was stronger than the human connection – this indeed highlights how lost we all are when it comes to a substance that actually defines our friendships.
Back when I was giving up substances I distanced myself from my friends as I had realised that our whole lives revolved around getting messed up. These days some of these friends who I have reconnected with struggle to answer the phone because I am offering them a real relationship and they find it confronting. Most of the time we only catch up when they initiate the call which is very sporadic but I have to understand that they are still in the spin cycle I used to call life and it is challenging for them as it was for me to step outside of that.
‘There are so many things that have become NORMALISED that we may no longer look at the impact upon our own health, or at the terrible impact those things have on society at large.’ Absolutely and thank you AG for so clearly illustrating some of the facts around the normalisation of drug and alcohol use and the enormous impact on personal health and also the cost and damage inflicted on society.
Yes it is much less confronting to blame anything else rather than accept that someone could make the choice to not drink/take drugs for their own health and wellbeing.
Well told AG. Your experiences with drugs and alcohol was great to read and your transition to be free from both. It is insightful, the people dynamics that keep us in old habits against our preferences. The dysfunction,abuse and lack of decency is also another component that goes hand in hand with the drug and alcohol scene. The affects is very wide spread. I am glad you wrote on this subject that has become so normalized in our everyday life.
It is interesting that the moment you make the choice to not drink (or take drugs), they come after you trying every trick in the book to make you join in again. It seems there is a lot of investment afforded into keeping everyone on the booze or the drug. It makes you wonder what is going on as it is obvious how unhealthy alcohol and drugs really are and how much damage is done because of them. Why do we choose to put our head in the sand and not see what is going on? This is something we need to deeply ponder on as the answer is not so easy to accept.
Ha, I know this very well too Judith, it is like someone is there ready to pounce with a glass of wine or a joint when you make the choice to say no. You get offered more freebies at that time than any other. If you step out of the social ritual cluster you offer a reflection that says I’m choosing to take responsibility which is precisely why there is a tight hold on these rituals and why we have normalised it in our society!! Responsibility would mean living life that is in respect and honour of ourselves and all others, which is the complete opposite of what takes place when we abuse ourselves with drugs and alcohol. Ouch, yeah feel that one!
Excellent blog. We all have a choice to choose what we put into our body. Sometimes people may not understand our choices but if we choose what we know is healing for us and not for recognition or acceptance and this feels very empowering. By letting go of judgment or attachments for approval from others allows us to make more loving choices. By you choosing not to take drugs or drinks is amazing healing for your body.
Great A.B. Really nice to read about the fact that you had already determined for yourself through your own experimentation that both drugs and alcohol did not work for your body. Universal Medicine presentations then just confirmed for you what you already knew, but never told you not to use drugs, they just presented the facts. Of course this would be confronting for those around you. Going against the grain is always going to attract attention….even when it’s about looking after yourself. crazy, I know.
Thank you AB. I remember coming to a point with myself within the social scene I was a part of, where I realised that I had a choice about whether to accept the drugs and alcohol as normal, or to make other choices about how I spent my time. It did take a little while to develop a new life, but eventually I was able to find myself again.
It seems to me that the hardest thing for people to do is accept the truth about the state of humanity, what is going on in their workplaces, their homes, with their relationships and how they feel about themselves, their self-esteem and self-worth. I think using drugs and alcohol are great ways to avoid considering and dealing with these truths because people do not really know what the alternatives are. Those who don’t drink and drug set great examples to those who may see they can choose that way too. Good on you for being strong in your conviction to love yourself – you are great role model.
Beautiful blog and so very true! Alcohol and drugs were not part of my life.
Yet, it is not hard to recognise the extent to which they are part of the lives of many many on this planet. The question is what does this fact is telling us? We have an enormous amount of resources to execute a wish “take me out of here. I do not want to feel what I am feeling”. This could be something sugary, salty, alcohol and drugs. ‘Take out of here’ has been normalised. People may buy temporary relief but the hurt they feel does not go away with any of these tools. Everyone has a choice, numb or heal.
It is a sad fact that what is seen as normal has such an abnormal effect on our mind and body. I was a very heavy drinker and smoker but chose to stop after my son died in an alcohol related accident. The rest of my family still choose to drink and see me as the abnormal one even though I look and feel amazing and as a drinker my life was a mess.
Alcohol has been normalised to the extent that as a non-drinker I am often the target of dropped open mouths, disbelief and sometimes scorn when I say I don’t drink. But when I am out there socialising with the world, people quickly get used to the fact that there is another way, and surviving life and managing stress with alcohol is folly – there is another way and to me it is very very normal.
What I found during my hazy pot smoking days was that I had created the relationships with a particular set of friends to indulge in using it. There is a phrase for it – drug scene. But the fact is we don’t enter a scene and become haphazardly addicted to a drug or alcohol. Is it possible that we choose to set up those relationships? I found that when I stopped drug and alcohol, I had already gradually lost contact with the scene. I do feel a great deal of appreciation for Universal Medicine in assisting me to build my self love so that I would not feel the urge to turn to drugs and alcohol as a source of numbing. Nowadays when I sit for dinner with some work colleagues and they ask if I would like a drink, I feel no sense of being an odd one out when I reply ‘No thank you’. I have never felt so normal and I love it.