by Jean Grima, Children’s Day Care worker, 43, Sydney, Australia
When I was a little girl my joy and happiness were immense; as a child I felt a lot. I always felt different to people around me, I was always curious and felt things deeply. Sometimes I felt more of what was going on around me in life than what others seemed to be showing they were seeing and feeling, which confirmed my feeling of being different. People fascinated me, and at this young age I was able to see truth and what wasn’t truth really easily, but as I got older, because I felt stupid and jealous of others’ academic abilities, my true core feelings got clouded with a feeling of failure and lack of self worth.
I put people on pedestals and looked up to what they did; friends, relatives, relationships, parents, priests, neighbours and everyone, really. I soon found alcohol, smoking, and sex at 16 years old. I remember the initial pull of using these things to cope with life.
On the outside I seemed carefree and as though I had it all worked out. People would make comments to me such as “you always land on your feet”, but inside I was crying very loudly, if not screaming with pain. My head was full of thoughts and at times my thoughts scared me. I felt controlled by my thoughts and had no understanding of how to deal with these feelings: I felt this was me and that there was nothing I could do to lighten this feeling. I found reality hard and complicated, I wanted to fit in so much, and so to fit in I chose to make myself ‘small and normal’ so that I didn’t stand out. Doing this made people feel comfortable around me so I felt like I was finally fitting in more.
At this point I was just rolling with the highs and lows because I was constantly and conveniently covering the pain with the vices I was using such as drinking, smoking and mucking around with boys.
Three years ago I chose to have some healing sessions with a friend of mine who had begun to study Esoteric Healing with Universal Medicine. I couldn’t pronounce, let alone spell ‘esoteric’. I trusted her and I felt comfortable; from there I met other esoteric practitioners and other people attending workshops and presentations over the years. I now know and understand ‘esoteric’ to simply mean ‘inner-most’.
Life on a day-to-day basis was becoming less difficult and there was more clarity of thought. Previously in the mornings, for as long as I can remember, when I woke up my thoughts would flood my head and depress me; these thoughts would continue throughout the day and intensified during my monthly period. I now breathe gently from the tip of my nose and follow my breath up into my head and bring myself back to me rather than letting myself get lost in my thoughts like I used to. This has helped me enormously over time.
There was a lot of ‘yuk’ that I would feel which were things coming up for me to look at and at times this still happens, but my fear and anxiety about life began to subside. I started to simply love myself and began to be open to adoring the woman I am… I was learning how to be gentle with myself. This is the most empowering feeling in the whole world – the peace and stillness from the Gentle Breath Meditation is amazing to experience.
What I have found great about Esoteric Healing sessions is that it is my responsibility to heal myself through my own choices, with the esoteric practitioners there to support me, which is a blessing.
So today I continue along my journey of love and joy, coming back to the wonderful person I am and have been all along, but simply didn’t recognise due to the complication, confusion, and doubt that I used to live in.
My family are also benefitting from my life choices as day by day they are now getting to feel more of me around the house rather than more of the moods I used to be in.
My love and thanks goes to the people I have met along this journey, with all their unpressured, tender love that each of us deserve to experience.
Today, what people think and judge doesn’t matter to me as it did before: the strength in my heart and soul is so powerful. This is a healthy place to be; I know this because of the difference I now feel to how I felt before – I wouldn’t swap it. Those that love me dearly and have known me a long time, including my Dad, see the positive changes in me and often comment on how well I am doing.
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Beautiful to read of the changes in your life since having Universal Medicine and its’ modalities enter your life, ‘ I continue along my journey of love and joy, coming back to the wonderful person I am and have been all along, but simply didn’t recognise due to the complication, confusion, and doubt that I used to live in.’
The Gentle Breath Meditation and breathing our own breath brings us back to our inner-most self.
It’s common for people to notice the positive changes when others begin living the Esoteric way of life, and receive support from the Universal Medicine therapies and presentations to heal what gets in the way of that. This is something I can relate to also “to fit in I chose to make myself ‘small and normal’ so that I didn’t stand out. Doing this made people feel comfortable around me so I felt like I was finally fitting in more.” It’s like a chain of everyone doing this and an unwritten contract to do the same so no one feels disturbed – strange that shining by being the amazing people we are is so unsettling for others, it says a lot about the reduced way of being so many have said yes to (and pressure others to live in the same reduced way).
This is an amazing journey of re-turn. There is nothing to achieve and nowhere to go. Everything is here already.
A before and after… it is well worth acknowledging the steps we have made, how we have changed our lives and where we come from. For that is the only honest marker of how we are, are we feeling more joy as the days roll on, or less. If less, then we have an opportunity to make a change and turn that around. If more, then walk in the strength of that, appreciate it and let it grow.
We can always make changes, making new choices is a great place to start, ‘it is my responsibility to heal myself through my own choices’.
Jean, thanks for writing your account of your life thus far, as I feel it is one that we can all relate to.
I have found the presentations of Serge Benhayon and the practitioners of Universal Medicine so supportive, as like you, I am on my journey of self discovery putting aside the complications, emotional dramas, and allowing myself to feel the love that we all hold inside and giving myself permission to express it.
‘I was learning how to be gentle with myself. This is the most empowering feeling in the whole world – the peace and stillness from the Gentle Breath Meditation is amazing to experience.’ That’s beautiful Jane. Never before Universal Medicine we were told about that being gentle would be related with power and strenght, but that’s true. By making this choice we learn to honour our body and the amazing beings we really are.
Very cool to read how esoteric healing has helped you to make more supportive choices to heal and let go of a lot of stuff that was previously in the way of you feeling and living you, in full – and that it’s not about someone else ‘healing you’ – but them offering the space for you to feel whatever is going on for you, and in that, choose to let it go.
Letting go of all that does not support us to be our true selves.
Very true and esoteric healing makes it easy to do so.
The great thing about esoteric healing is that it shows us who we are – that we are grander and more love than I thought was possible, and the key is that we experience this in our body instead of accepting what we are being told.
I agree Christoph. Love is not a lofty ideal we strive towards, it is an inner emanation that we allow to express out once we have reconnected to it.
The joy and love we had as children never actually leaves us and we can connect to it any time we want.
A great reminder of how when we take responsibility for our choices and begin to understand how those choices affect not only us but everyone else too, we start to make changes and through those choices our life changes tremendously.
We make choices all the time, literally every second of every day, these choices can harm, or heal us.
A beautiful sharing Jean, in coming to understand that it is the choices that we make that will change our lives, and bring healing “the strength in my heart and soul is so powerful. This is a healthy place to be;”
The Esoteric Healing Modalities brought through by Universal Medicine are such a blessing to humanity. Thousands of people (including me) have been able to clear and let go of so much that has been held onto in the body that is not true to us and in doing so then can start to be and live all we truly are in a very clear, grounded, steady and stable way. Great to hear how so much has changed for you and am sure this just keeps unfolding ✨
I like how honest you have been here about your thoughts and how they made you feel and how, with the simple Gentle Breath Meditation as taught by Universal Medicine, you are becoming the master of your own thoughts as they begin to come from a body that now has in it and understands love.
So empowering. That our healing comes from our choices.
Beautiful. I love that.
powerful message to us all.
The more gentle we become the easier it is to self love and when we self love we more easily feel the love that we are and begin to live love – be love. There is so much healing on offer in and during this process and a growing awareness that allows us to continually evolve.
An important step in our healing is to be able to love ourselves, and to live love, be love.