Esoteric Healing: Coming back to Me

by Jean Grima, Children’s Day Care worker, 43, Sydney, Australia 

When I was a little girl my joy and happiness were immense; as a child I felt a lot. I always felt different to people around me, I was always curious and felt things deeply. Sometimes I felt more of what was going on around me in life than what others seemed to be showing they were seeing and feeling, which confirmed my feeling of being different. People fascinated me, and at this young age I was able to see truth and what wasn’t truth really easily, but as I got older, because I felt stupid and jealous of others’ academic abilities, my true core feelings got clouded with a feeling of failure and lack of self worth.

I put people on pedestals and looked up to what they did; friends, relatives, relationships, parents, priests, neighbours and everyone, really. I soon found alcohol, smoking, and sex at 16 years old. I remember the initial pull of using these things to cope with life.

On the outside I seemed carefree and as though I had it all worked out. People would make comments to me such as “you always land on your feet”, but inside I was crying very loudly, if not screaming with pain. My head was full of thoughts and at times my thoughts scared me. I felt controlled by my thoughts and had no understanding of how to deal with these feelings: I felt this was me and that there was nothing I could do to lighten this feeling. I found reality hard and complicated, I wanted to fit in so much, and so to fit in I chose to make myself ‘small and normal’ so that I didn’t stand out. Doing this made people feel comfortable around me so I felt like I was finally fitting in more.

At this point I was just rolling with the highs and lows because I was constantly and conveniently covering the pain with the vices I was using such as drinking, smoking and mucking around with boys.

Three years ago I chose to have some healing sessions with a friend of mine who had begun to study Esoteric Healing with Universal Medicine. I couldn’t pronounce, let alone spell ‘esoteric’. I trusted her and I felt comfortable; from there I met other esoteric practitioners and other people attending workshops and presentations over the years. I now know and understand ‘esoteric’ to simply mean ‘inner-most’.

Life on a day-to-day basis was becoming less difficult and there was more clarity of thought. Previously in the mornings, for as long as I can remember, when I woke up my thoughts would flood my head and depress me; these thoughts would continue throughout the day and intensified during my monthly period. I now breathe gently from the tip of my nose and follow my breath up into my head and bring myself back to me rather than letting myself get lost in my thoughts like I used to. This has helped me enormously over time.

There was a lot of ‘yuk’ that I would feel which were things coming up for me to look at and at times this still happens, but my fear and anxiety about life began to subside. I started to simply love myself and began to be open to adoring the woman I am… I was learning how to be gentle with myself. This is the most empowering feeling in the whole world – the peace and stillness from the Gentle Breath Meditation is amazing to experience.

What I have found great about Esoteric Healing sessions is that it is my responsibility to heal myself through my own choices, with the esoteric practitioners there to support me, which is a blessing.

So today I continue along my journey of love and joy, coming back to the wonderful person I am and have been all along, but simply didn’t recognise due to the complication, confusion, and doubt that I used to live in.

My family are also benefitting from my life choices as day by day they are now getting to feel more of me around the house rather than more of the moods I used to be in. 

My love and thanks goes to the people I have met along this journey, with all their unpressured, tender love that each of us deserve to experience.

Today, what people think and judge doesn’t matter to me as it did before: the strength in my heart and soul is so powerful. This is a healthy place to be; I know this because of the difference I now feel to how I felt before – I wouldn’t swap it. Those that love me dearly and have known me a long time, including my Dad, see the positive changes in me and often comment on how well I am doing.

359 thoughts on “Esoteric Healing: Coming back to Me

  1. “So today I continue along my journey of love and joy, coming back to the wonderful person I am and have been all along, but simply didn’t recognise due to the complication, confusion, and doubt that I used to live in.” Jean, you are a wonderful person and this blog is so humble for someone so magnificent as you are. I really appreciate the simplicity you present here within your life’s journey.

  2. Esoteric healing has definitely helped me in reconnecting me with my body, and through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have started to be able to allow my body to take the lead, as it knows exactly what it needs in order to support itself, I just need to remain connected enough to know what that is, and build a consistency in my connection.

  3. Learning to be present and gentle with ourselves through the gentle breath meditation is empowering and allows us to build a deeper relationship with ourselves and with our body, taking us out of our mind and its controlling thoughts to feeling true clarity with our mind and body aligned.

  4. How can a joyful and deeply wise child go to feeling stupid or anything less than divine? By a society that doesn’t confirm children in who they are and makes life about tasks, functionality and doing things well instead. Of course, we need to do things, tasks and day-to-day living, but this can be done in the confirmation that we are wise all-knowing beings and not less than any other.

    1. Well said Rachel – there are clearly 2 ways to approach and do…and doing without being just feeds this lack of self-worth that plagues so many young people today.

  5. Healthy, yes, that place of ease and acceptance is a very healthy place to be. I haven’t fully appreciated how much my life has changed and how much I now enjoy my life.

  6. Universal Medicine presents many modalities including Esoteric Healing to support us to connect within. Esoteric Healing heals in a way that offers an opportunity for us to get to the energetic root that created the ailment or condition in the first place so what I would call a true healing can occur in the body. For this reason Universal Medicine and Esoteric Healing in my opinion stand alone in what is offered in the world of complementary medicine today.

  7. You are amazing, what you are reminding us of here is how much we feel as children, we feel it all and actually, we still feel it all! We simply learn some effective numbing techniques that mask or deny what we feel.

  8. I agree – Esoteric Healing is about re-learning to take responsibility for the choices we have made and will be making. It is undoing of all that is not of truth as we are already, innately that. How amazing is that it can start with simply choosing to be gentle in how we move.

  9. What stands out about what you are sharing is that you are taking responsibility for your life and your choices now. You are healing yourself and Universal Medicine is facilitating and supporting this.

  10. Thank you Jean for sharing your journey of returning to find a beautiful and loving woman deep inside by connecting to your inner heart through the gentle Breath Meditation.

  11. “This is a healthy place to be; I know this because of the difference I now feel to how I felt before.” Your so right Jean and this is true health, wealth, wellbeing and love as you have described – “the strength in my heart and soul is so powerful.” and so much more.

  12. Learning to love and be gentle with myself was the turning point to coming back to knowing the truth within and building a true relationship with myself, connecting to an inner wisdom and quality and a steadiness of being.

  13. When we withdraw from the love that we are, that we knew and expressed so completely as a child, we create a seeming chasm within us through which we invite in a whole host of thoughts and ensuing behaviours that are not true to our inner-most self. This is how we become shaped to be who we are not and find ourselves entertaining thoughts and behaving in ways we know does not make sense. Making the choice to close this ‘gap’ is the first step on our journey home back to the love, joy and divinity we all innately are – a step we will all at some stage take on our return to Soul. The question is simply – when?

  14. No going back! Why would you, when everything you’ve ever wanted but weren’t actually sure what that looked like, is now something you live everyday. It’s pretty cool realising that we have everything we need right inside us, and that no amount of material possessions or fitting in with others will ever satiate our desire to simply be ok with ourselves.

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