Can I Align to the Wisdom of my Soul in a Place like San Victorino?

San Victorino is an old commercial landmark in Bogotá, the city where I live in South América. Although it is a place where you can get anything you want very cheaply, I have always disliked it. It has gone through some transformations in the last couple of decades but it remains a place I would normally avoid going to. It feels rough, hectic, and unsafe. You see it all; the dodgy-ness, the survival, the rummaging, the bargaining, the hard work, the ability and resolution of the merchants, the desolation of the inhabitants of the streets, a few burglars, and pensioners wandering around amongst it all.

One morning, while at work, I was asked to go there on my own to buy some chemicals. I immediately, but silently, reacted. I didn´t want to go there and especially that day as I was wearing my fancy clothes and didn´t have my trainers that would allow me to run if something went wrong. My body hardened and my face changed its glow for a frown, yet I responded: “Yes! Sure, I can do that.”

Before heading off I still had some time around the office and, at some point, I started plunging into a feeling of misery and desolation. I pushed it down. How come I was feeling like that? I didn´t like the idea of going to San Victorino but it wasn’t so bad as to justify me dropping into that mood. It felt like an old deep condition that was being triggered, which I wanted to push down because I felt it would defeat me.

I chose to stop for a moment to release some of the tension that had already crept into my body and I made the choice to feel what was truly going on. I felt something quite familiar and well-known, as in something I had deeply identified myself with in the past. I recognised that I had, at times, convinced myself that these feelings of bitterness, flatness and the cruising defeat, were me.

I had at times been very serious, disconnected and negative about myself, my role in a situation, in a relationship, and my place in the world.

Even though these emotions were not as intense and they don´t turn up as much nowadays as they have in the past, I had to admit that they were still there and I was experiencing them very vividly on that morning. I didn’t really want to get in touch with these emotions as they were contradicting how lovely I’d been feeling lately in my awareness, my wisdom and my daily commitment to connect to a true purpose in life.

I was tempted to give in to its familiar density where I would start judging this lived love as an illusion or idealisation, far from my reality. In other words, these emotions and old patterns were about finding ways to sabotage and be hard on myself.

I then headed off to my destination, feeling defeated for having entered into that mood once again. While in the taxi I chose to let go of the tension in my body and I surrendered in acceptance to how I was feeling. Within a few minutes I felt gently detached from all the stuff I had been in, and it became clear that this misery was something that certainly was there for me to deal with, and not pretend it wasn´t there.

The moment I go into pretending I get into a state of contradiction where I start fighting a ghost without having acknowledged it first for what it is, and clumsily try to reclaim my joy.

I then felt how this misery was held in a weakened part of my being, which is like an open window for certain types of emotions to come in – a disempowerment. Some memories even came to me at this point and I recalled the moment when I created this window. It happened when I was a young girl and I chose misery and desolation because I was feeling deeply victimised for what was taking place at that time. Strangely I got to see how I chose this, which raised my next awareness: that it was a choice, but it is not actually who I am. It has looked like me before, because that is what identification and the comfort of familiarity have made me believe.

So here I was in this taxi feeling and accepting this was something that I still needed to deal with, but approaching it in a completely different way, which had no reaction or intention for solution – just a steady observation and deep understanding of a past choice that came from a past hurt.

I was about to reach my destination, so I organised myself: I put my hat in place, put some coins into my pockets, preparing in case someone would ask for money, I dropped my shoulders, opened my chest a bit and decided to walk as gently as I could. When I got out, and as San Victorino displayed all its dense magnificence in front of me, I nearly hardened again, but I was in a very different place within myself. A shift had taken place, the restless contradiction had gone and I was feeling lighter and very present.

No one seemed to be noticing my presence, as if I wasn’t there at all. I was able to slide freely and swiftly along the dirty streets, and it was interesting because it all seemed and felt quite familiar. It was like a physical representation of the emotional density I was in before. I was walking in acceptance of everything I saw: the ugliness, the struggle of the human being as well as a shared vulnerability and potential in all. I felt protected and at ease in my beautiful body. Tension or anything disturbing could have kicked in again at any moment, but this didn´t happen because I didn´t allow myself to drop again – I remained steady.

I walked a few blocks, purchased what I needed and was ready to go back. This time I caught the bus, and the more I allowed myself to be there, observant, very much in touch and at ease with myself and my body, the more I was able to confirm the connection to something deeper that was guiding me well.

It was great to experience both that level of detachment from my emotions, and the choice to go there: to the unwanted dark zones both within me and externally in the city. All the amazing teachings I’ve received from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine all of a sudden made deep sense; that we are truly able to choose to connect and live from the steady qualities within ourselves to deal with our stuff, instead of the contradictory approach of the mind or getting into the messy stickiness of emotions.

There is indeed a way to be without absorbing whatever is going on around us. I now have a very vivid reference that I can come back to whenever undealt-with stuff from my past presents itself in the form of emotions or events. I don´t need to fight them, nor do I need to feel bad for having chosen them.

All I have to do is check in with my body, feel the muscles of my face, surrender, come back to my breath, stay open and observe things for what they are. I then have a choice to adjust the type of quality I move and walk with. I certainly don´t always chose this path within, nor do these things all the time, but this experience was a great confirmation of how capable I really am whenever I need to revisit disheartening environments outside and/or inside of myself.

I appreciate how far I’ve come in my experience of feeling and allowing for something greater within me to show me the way back to true awareness and wisdom.

Realising that my emptiness is not all that is there for me to work with in this life, I know now that there has always been a powerful, inner-most way of being inside us that can guide us all past our deep hurts and back to Love. This feels like the greatest treasure I have ever been given.

In deep appreciation for the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom and to Serge Benhayon for bringing them through for all.

By Luz Helena Hincapié, Bogotá, Colombia

Further Reading:
The Kingly Body – Building A Connection With Your Soul
Returning to Our Essence
Co-Creation – Liberation From Creation
Donkey Kong

755 thoughts on “Can I Align to the Wisdom of my Soul in a Place like San Victorino?

  1. When we make the choice to let go of old hurts we are so held in God’s love, and we experience life afresh and with a deeper understanding about true love, life and relationships.

  2. We can transcend any feeling that threatens to pull us down by choosing to connect to breath and the soul we can bring ourselves back to our true essence.

  3. I love the way you became aware of and connected to what was going on inside you, with honesty and your transparency in sharing this with us. In this way you show us the fragility of our inner-world our fears, inner hurts and insecurities. This is the true world and when can face and befriend this inner-world, the outer world feels far less threatening and becomes our friend also.

  4. It really feels like the key to how Luz was able to get the point where she was moving with ease in a city that has such heaviness and struggle going on was the level of self-acceptance she had attained by the choice to see everything there is to feel in herself without judgement. In a sense, that deep honesty allows more awareness to come to us on what is really going on inside when we react emotionally to something, which can then lead to the understanding to not only heal the hurt that caused it but to then not get affected any more by outside events or influences.

  5. Great blog Luz, it is a great reminder of how we can be manipulated by past hurts, if we allow them to become bigger than we are in any given moment, I have found that through addressing my hurts that they no longer have a hold on me and I am able to be more of who I am.

  6. Luz I’ve come to realisation that when we release the judgments and let things be, we see the beauty in all the chaos, the ugliness to even accidents. I from time to time find myself getting caught in the calamity and soon realise how it affects me and brings me back to me, and that it is meant to be for that situation and people affected.

  7. “how lovely I’d been feeling lately in my awareness, my wisdom and my daily commitment to connect to a true purpose in life.” A beautiful opportunity to appreciate who you are and to inspire this awakening awareness in others wherever you go.

  8. Thank you Luz, what you experienced here is monumental! It could have gone two ways, to stay with the old feelings or open up and explore a way to view and heal this that meant a return to your true essence. It highlights the choice we always have to heal and that the way to healing is through “a powerful, inner-most way of being inside us that can guide us all past our deep hurts and back to Love.”

  9. I find that in the most difficult scenarios if I am humble enough to walk with God I feel an enormous ease. I reckon life is more about how we approach different situations than the actual situations we find ourselves in – that is what determines the overall quality of our experience.

    1. “life is more about how we approach different situations than the actual situations we find ourselves in” I agree Meg, how we experience life is often a reflection of how we are within ourselves.

  10. Having worked as a bodyguard and protector I found that some habits become so ingrained that you actually think that they are you, that they are a part of you and that’s the way it is. Universal Medicine offers humanity the opportunity to find out what they actually truly are and then to live from the connection… And not to live from what we have taken on.

  11. Taking responsibility for our movements creates the future we move in to, whether that be of misery or joy, it is all result of how we have moved.

  12. “All I have to do is check in with my body, feel the muscles of my face, surrender, come back to my breath, stay open and observe things for what they are. I then have a choice to adjust the type of quality I move and walk with.” Checking in with our body is so important as it tells us so much. The quality we then choose to move and live with then affects not only ourselves, but can reflect out to others.

  13. The denial of what is going on does not ever serve us; only when we nominate how we are feeling without indulging in it, we can start to heal the undealt with hurt and move on. And our physical body thanks us for it as do our movements reflect the change.

  14. We all have places and situations in our life where we find it challenging to maintain our connection to ourselves. Yet the one constant we have in our lives is us. Learning that it is our choice and ultimate responsibility to maintain our connection is something that cannot be dependent on any out side influence or place. In my experience the beauty of connection and acceptance that transpires when we let ourselves stay true is beyond words.

  15. This quality of observation is truly beautiful..to behold ourselves and others in just exactly where we’re at and what we’re feeling is what allows us the space to discard anything that’s in the way of us feeling and being more of ourselves.

  16. Such beautiful gems you offer today Luz, thank you. It’s been very healing for me today to hear again and understand that I can accept how I feel ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and observe it, I don’t have to be defeated by it, and I don’t have to give myself a hard time for having been defeated by it in the past either … this is freedom. And I love how life reflects to us exactly what we need to see, we are so supported no matter where we are.

  17. Hi Luz, it is great that you bring that level of awareness in Bogota and to all. The way you walk with this observation and acceptance of all is love.

  18. I haven’t heard of this place or the city you live in Luz – but I thoroughly appreciate the fact that you are there, walking your walk and reflecting something different to that part of the world.

  19. Absolutely inspiring Luz, and what a deeply healing reading you gave to yourself of the desolation of the inner city reflecting the desolation we but choose to go into in ourselves.
    This would have not been easy for many – I’m not sure I would have stayed that steady – but what you’ve laid down here is how simple and possible this detachment and steadiness actually is.

  20. Thank you Luz, what a powerful sharing on how you aligned to your Soul instead of feeling old hurts or reacting to your surroundings in any way. This shows us what is possible when love and wisdom is truly lived no matter what the outer circumstances are.

  21. Thankyou for sharing the process you went through in an place that could have pulled you down. Your realisation that how you felt ‘was a choice, but it is not actually who I am. It has looked like me before, because that is what identification and the comfort of familiarity have made me believe.’ To know we have the power to change our choices and thus how we feel in certain situations is powerful indeed.

  22. If we applied the principle you have shared in this blog, in all areas of our lives, the world would be a very different place. If we hold ourselves in a way that is in the world but not absorbing the world, we are able to not add to the mess but instead inspire the masses.

  23. I love this blog- it gives a great example of how we can recognise long held patterns that don’t support us and re-imprint these with a truer way of being that actually supports us – very cool sharing, thank you.

  24. If I may add, the claiming of you and the beauty of you in your body and the way you moved is so key here… We underestimate what it is to move in the sanctity of our being in this world, where’er we may be and whatever we may be doing.
    I find myself equally deepening in presence with myself, my body and my movements, when exploring or moving through any place that feels particularly heavy and tainted with the misery of human existence and/or the abuse of people and privilege. Rather than be ‘pulled down’, a part of me actually ‘rises up’ – knowing with clarity, the purpose with which we can walk on this earth.

  25. Luz, it is deeply inspiring to read of your inner process here – that essentially, you did not give up on yourself, and you allowed such honesty with the depth of what was triggering you.
    Were we all to be so honest… that there are aspects of humanity we may kid ourselves we’ve accepted, but which, actually we’ve conveniently blinkered from our view…

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s