Unconditional Love

We often pretend to love someone without condition, but is this really the case? It starts with falling in love. Well, we can fall into a puddle of mud, but how on earth can we fall in love?

Love is always there, inside of ourselves and everyone else. Meeting someone and feeling a special connection or pull towards that person simply means that we have allowed a space for more love to unfold and become tangible. It is two human beings opening up to let each other feel their essence behind the facade we have often so carefully built to mask what is underneath.

It is a gentle process of trust that is growing and lightness that is flowing, but it can also be there in the instant we first meet. Love can grow with every movement and breath. It does not have room for anger or rage against another, because when these emotions come up, we will instantly feel that, in fact, we are just angry with ourselves and cannot cope with the hurt that we feel within us.

If we truly hold someone in love, it does not matter if they express love towards us or just walk away. The only thing love promotes is to support each other, as best as we can, and in everything that we do. Supporting does not mean to blindly admire everything, but to be honest – with ourselves and everyone else. It means speaking up and expressing, even if we feel the topic might cause a reaction.

Love means letting the other be who he or she is and allowing them to make their choices, no matter how absurd they may seem to us sometimes. It is not for us to judge what another needs to live and go through to learn and move on. Our job is only to express what we feel and then let the other be and choose. Staying with them, holding them with love, but never trying to impose on their absolute freedom.

We are a mirror for each other and this is the greatest gift we can provide – polishing this mirror in a way that it will simply reflect what is always there; no agenda, no manipulation to make the other feel better or do what we want, nothing needed to be done or achieved.

Just being, observing, learning and walking on, realising that there is always a deeper level to move on to. Not by running, but by walking there with graceful steps that honour our bodies. If something challenging comes up, why not thank each other for this opportunity to learn and go deeper, instead of starting to argue and fight? If you feel something is not in flow, why not speak up, instead of holding back out of wishing to protect ourselves from getting hurt, pretending that there could not be greater harmony.

Everything that we do not express will sit with us, accumulate and one day erupt like a volcano. Like the eruption of a volcano, this is highly likely to erase everything that has been there before. This does not mean the end to life, but it will take a large amount of time until the first new, tender plants will grow into the abundance that existed before.

To truly be able to love someone, I first have to hold myself in love and appreciation by accepting myself just as I am and committing to truly care for myself. Not because I am egotistic or a narcissist, but because I deserve that love and care, like we all deserve it.

From there it will be natural to just ’be’ love, irrespective of what anyone does, or a desire for what would have seemed like the perfect outcome for us, and irrespective of whether others listen to us, understand us or love us in return. It will not matter what the other does, the love will always stay the same. It is then time to start to distinguish between the actions of another, which of course sometimes cannot be tolerated, and the person’s essence underneath.

This essence, common in everyone, is love. A love that is simple, still and all-knowing. It is something I can always come back to, as it will always be there – inside of me and of everyone. It is a point we all have in common, a point we all can connect to. This is equality in its truest sense.

By Michael Kremer, Personal Assistant, Buchholz, Germany

Further Reading:
What is love? Love is…
A True Love Letter for Serge Benhayon

943 thoughts on “Unconditional Love

  1. Expressing what we feel and letting the other choose is certainly an unconditionally loving and non-imposing way to live in relationship with others. A beautiful reminder Michael, thank you.

  2. Thank-you Michael, to me these words are the key: “It is then time to start to distinguish between the actions of another, which of course sometimes cannot be tolerated, and the person’s essence underneath.”
    We are continually presented with opportunities in which to truly hold others in love – founded in the knowing of the essence within, ‘the all that someone truly is’, and what is either in alignment or contra to this in his or her expression in life.
    The work for us… to be able to yes, discern the difference, and respond from love and not reaction to what’s before us. A constant work in progress for us all, no doubt – and one that offers the deepest growth possible that I know.

  3. Holding back never got us anywhere did it… except perhaps for the exacerbation of inner unrest, turmoil and conditions of mental and physical health… Our whole being, and all around us suffer, when we repress what we feel.

    1. I can really relate to this today. And yet time and time again I can pretend as if this delay and avoidance of letting out whats inside me is working but it cannot stop the love being expressed eventually, the tension within becomes too great.

  4. Image waking up in the morning knowing that you unconditionally loved yourself? How different would life be? All our interactions would change and this would change the world.

  5. I really like that we are mirrors and that our only job is to polish our mirror from the inside out so the reflection we offer is as clear and crisp as it can be.

  6. I love the analogy that we are mirrors for each other, and the more I polish or deeply care for myself (and my mirror) the more reflection I can offer another person, or put simply, the more magnificent I know myself to be, more magnificent they know themselves to be.

  7. How many times have I put conditions on love? The expectations that I have brought to relationships have been the things that have sabotaged them, looking to another to meet my needs rather than connecting to the love inside me. What you present here is so supportive and it starts with loving ourselves unconditionally ‘To truly be able to love someone, I first have to hold myself in love and appreciation by accepting myself just as I am and committing to truly care for myself.’

  8. Acknowledging the reflection we are with no agenda to make things different leaves us free to connect to our essence and live from there.

  9. The beauty about love is that it just is – love, and thus no matter how unloving we are love still is and gives us a marker from where we have strayed from.

  10. Love is a word that everyone in the world knows but we all have our different version of what it means. The truth of love is that it is a quality – not a thing you can give or take away. It is who we are if we allow it.

  11. To hold ourselves and each other in the love you described Michael, without needs expectations desires, it is indeed heavenly and all encompassing of the love that resides within the inner heart of evert human being on this earth.

  12. I can say that from experience putting conditions on anything I express is very restrictive when I compare it to just letting myself express how I feel freely and openly. And yet I have to admit that I have asked for the conditions in the misguided belief that the attention or recognition in that condition being met is of some value or merit.

  13. To just let others be who they are and where they are at can be hard, especially when we feel we have the truth. Love is so important and the fact that we love ourselves first means we are then truly able to love others.

  14. I love this – “It is not for us to judge what another needs to live and go through to learn and move on.” – it is simply divine.

  15. I love this Michael – the awareness of Love as always being inside of us and how we can expand this or hold it back and live in separation and contraction by our own choices.
    “Love is always there, inside of ourselves and everyone else. Meeting someone and feeling a special connection or pull towards that person simply means that we have allowed a space for more love to unfold and become tangible”.

  16. Falling in love is certainly a curious expression. When you fall you go from a place that is higher to where you end up (that is always lower). But, what is higher than love? Nothing. So, falling in love is not a possibility and certainly not a feeling. It is just an image… of what love is not and never will be.

  17. Love is also never passive and lovey dovey. It is real, very practical and very palpable. If the lovey dovey things while with seemingly good intent feels fake or not truly loving it is still expressed conditionally, either holding back or with judgement.

  18. We know deeply inside what love is – so we can choose to feel it, re-connect to it and move on with that love as our basic principle in life.. That is in fact our true salvation – we can save ourselves.. Lovingly so. Beautiful Michael.

  19. I’m at the beginning of a path of understanding that love is within me, not something I seek, and it is most enjoyable and empowering to know that we are made of love, its not something we get from another, but we can share our loving selves and emanate it. It changes everything the more I grasp the enormity of what that means for all my decisions, responses and behaviours.

  20. ‘Well, we can fall into a puddle of mud, but how on earth can we fall in love?’ This made me smile Michael, I saw myself falling with my face into a puddle of mud and maybe that is what happens when we fall in love, we are blinded by the mud instead of feeling love is within and walk with this light in our eyes.

  21. Loving ourselves warts and all, is the first step towards allowing us to love, accept and appreciate another for who they truly are.

  22. We can make loving a person such a focus. But love it not to be directed at one person – it simply cannot be as love can’t do that. When a person comes a long who we “fall in love” with, to me it’s an opportunity to connect to greater levels of love and to use the love that I feel for one person and make that available for all.

  23. Well before we try to change the behaviours of choices of another we must question why we have an investment in them being a certain way or not. Does this not reveal that there is a deeper level we can go to within ourselves with our own love at such a moment?

  24. As you have so wisely shared Michael, love innately resides within us all. It is the quality of our essence and represents who we are, therefore is it not possible for another to give us what we already have and already are. But what is beautiful to share is our love with another, holding another in love, and inspiring each other to be more of the love we all are in essence.

  25. This is a beautiful sharing on true love Michael and how different it is from the emotional and conditional love that many live day in and day out without question. True love is a forever deepening process, there is no limit to the amount of love we can experience. That’s why it is so powerful to have others living true love as their everyday normal as it has a flow on effect that is so needed in the world today.

  26. This is a beautiful, beautiful blog Michael. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom, such an inspiring blog, it reminds me to be love and to keep expressing it no matter what.

  27. No matter how much we want to love someone, if we do not hold ourselves in love first then we cannot love that person. We can call it love but it will not be the quality of love. This is why we have to learn to love ourselves.

  28. ‘Love is all we need’, the refrain of a popular song, is a truism. Understanding exactly what love is, is another matter. Applying that understanding and living it is yet another. The journey of love is ever-unfolding.

  29. The more love we build in the way we are in all areas of our life the more love we naturally can share with others, just through the way we are, without needing something in return…

  30. “how on earth can we fall in love?” Love start by being at-least gentle for we need to take small steps on the path of return that takes us from True Gentleness to Self-Love and finally Love and this journey is an open ended transformation.

  31. ‘…I deserve that love and care, like we all deserve it.’ This is such a powerful statement. Why is it I am hesitant in claiming this truth? Is it that I’ve spent years where I thought I had to do things in order to get approval, recognition, and attention – all of which I substituted and called love. I got caught up in doing more, trying to be more in order to get love, when really all I got was exhausted and a little more recognition at times. I am love all along and can be deeply caring of myself because I do deserve it. What if I don’t have to earn it but just be love?

  32. Love with ‘terms and conditions’ is an arrangement, and when both parties are in it for outcomes the relationship is more of a contract than open opportunity to learn, support, connect and appreciate each other.

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