Unconditional Love

We often pretend to love someone without condition, but is this really the case? It starts with falling in love. Well, we can fall into a puddle of mud, but how on earth can we fall in love?

Love is always there, inside of ourselves and everyone else. Meeting someone and feeling a special connection or pull towards that person simply means that we have allowed a space for more love to unfold and become tangible. It is two human beings opening up to let each other feel their essence behind the facade we have often so carefully built to mask what is underneath.

It is a gentle process of trust that is growing and lightness that is flowing, but it can also be there in the instant we first meet. Love can grow with every movement and breath. It does not have room for anger or rage against another, because when these emotions come up, we will instantly feel that, in fact, we are just angry with ourselves and cannot cope with the hurt that we feel within us.

If we truly hold someone in love, it does not matter if they express love towards us or just walk away. The only thing love promotes is to support each other, as best as we can, and in everything that we do. Supporting does not mean to blindly admire everything, but to be honest – with ourselves and everyone else. It means speaking up and expressing, even if we feel the topic might cause a reaction.

Love means letting the other be who he or she is and allowing them to make their choices, no matter how absurd they may seem to us sometimes. It is not for us to judge what another needs to live and go through to learn and move on. Our job is only to express what we feel and then let the other be and choose. Staying with them, holding them with love, but never trying to impose on their absolute freedom.

We are a mirror for each other and this is the greatest gift we can provide – polishing this mirror in a way that it will simply reflect what is always there; no agenda, no manipulation to make the other feel better or do what we want, nothing needed to be done or achieved.

Just being, observing, learning and walking on, realising that there is always a deeper level to move on to. Not by running, but by walking there with graceful steps that honour our bodies. If something challenging comes up, why not thank each other for this opportunity to learn and go deeper, instead of starting to argue and fight? If you feel something is not in flow, why not speak up, instead of holding back out of wishing to protect ourselves from getting hurt, pretending that there could not be greater harmony.

Everything that we do not express will sit with us, accumulate and one day erupt like a volcano. Like the eruption of a volcano, this is highly likely to erase everything that has been there before. This does not mean the end to life, but it will take a large amount of time until the first new, tender plants will grow into the abundance that existed before.

To truly be able to love someone, I first have to hold myself in love and appreciation by accepting myself just as I am and committing to truly care for myself. Not because I am egotistic or a narcissist, but because I deserve that love and care, like we all deserve it.

From there it will be natural to just ’be’ love, irrespective of what anyone does, or a desire for what would have seemed like the perfect outcome for us, and irrespective of whether others listen to us, understand us or love us in return. It will not matter what the other does, the love will always stay the same. It is then time to start to distinguish between the actions of another, which of course sometimes cannot be tolerated, and the person’s essence underneath.

This essence, common in everyone, is love. A love that is simple, still and all-knowing. It is something I can always come back to, as it will always be there – inside of me and of everyone. It is a point we all have in common, a point we all can connect to. This is equality in its truest sense.

By Michael Kremer, Personal Assistant, Buchholz, Germany

Further Reading:
Love
What is love? Love is…
A True Love Letter for Serge Benhayon

983 thoughts on “Unconditional Love

  1. It is true that we do not get anywhere when we are in reaction to each other, as opposed to communicating in a way that helps us to understand each other and the pictures we are running with.

  2. “Love means letting the other be who he or she is and allowing them to make their choices, no matter how absurd they may seem to us sometimes.” – I have found that sympathy is the biggest thing that has gotten in the way of me allowing other people to make and learn from their choices. Under the excuse of ‘doing good’ I have actually interfered in other people’s progress by trying to save them from walking into certain situations that I felt would be harmful to them, because even after expressing what I felt, I wasn’t able to let it go and let them make their own choice, which is really harmful to both of us in the long run, as I absorbed their issue as if it were my own and they were imposed upon.

  3. ‘express what we feel and then let the other be and choose.’ Sometimes the behaviours of others feel so ‘wrong’ to us. We can say that lying and cheating and causing harm to to others is wrong – and exposing this allows it to be in the open for all to see – but we cannot live another persons life for them, we cannot stop them from abusing – the most we can do is not be abusive ourselves and allow the love that is our natural way hold the space for others to choose their way.

  4. By virtue of its vibration love can never diminish, be lost or taken away. We may walk away from its light, but it never leaves us. Love can only expand, and as we are all love in essence we are always called to be more of love that we are, which is only magnified again when we openly connect with others.

  5. So many opportunities are offered for us to evolve through responding rather than being in reaction with another or a situation.
    “If something challenging comes up, why not thank each other for this opportunity to learn and go deeper, instead of starting to argue and fight?”

  6. These two statements is what I needed to read and feel, “love means letting the other be who he or she is and allowing them to make their choices” and “express what we feel and then let the other be and choose”

    To me this is allowing the other person have free will and placing no impositions of any kind, whether personal, cultural or systems. This has been challenging for me at times and what I love is the refining process, the more I embrace this, the more I can hold the other person.

  7. ‘If we truly hold someone in love, it does not matter if they express love towards us or just walk away.’ This is true love, anything else is simply a need for the other to be something for you, which is far from being loving. This is contrary to how most of us behave with love, and simply because we don’t accept our own love first.

  8. Beautifully expressed Michael. The notion that we pretend to love others is rather awful but of course this is actually very common. Humans have bastardised the word love and even the words ‘true love’ in an effort to avoid the responsibility and wonder that comes with expressing and living the love we are.

    1. Well said Leonne – the real understanding of what true love is begins with developing an honest and honoring relationship with how we are with ourselves, with the love we already are within.

  9. Choosing to fall in love is choosing to give ourselves away to an ideal and then to be trapped by it until such time as we learn to see it for what it is, which is very hard when you are trapped inside it. And of course you are right, this is not love at all but an imposter that would control us if we allow it.

  10. True the conditions placed on love makes it not love, simple. We all have a long way to go to live what you share, it is however super inspiring to know those who do live this unconditional love.

  11. If you have never felt unconditional love, if it has never been in your world, simply meet Serge Benhayon and if you let yourself, you will feel held, and loved, and the true meaning of the word.

  12. This is a great topic, because while we would all love to claim we have unconditional love, the reality is there are so many conditions we place on love – I’ll love you if you love me first, or I’ll love you unconditionally unless you forget to do the dishwasher or I’ll totally love you unless you step ahead of me….There are many… But what if love is just love, and it has no conditions?

  13. I love this article about love. “A love that is simple, still and all-knowing. It is something I can always come back to, as it will always be there – inside of me and of everyone. It is a point we all have in common, a point we all can connect to. This is equality in its truest sense.”

  14. “Love means letting the other be who he or she is and allowing them to make their choices” – as a general consensus we might consider this challenging to allow with our ‘loved ones’ or our children, therefore does it not ask us to consider what ‘to love someone’ truly means.

  15. The realisation that love is in fact a way of being rather than something we try to obtain or receive from others is very powerful. Embracing this awareness turns life upside down – or perhaps more appropriately, inside out. If we are love, there is no need to seek it anymore, and we live in the world in an entirely different way, bringing the love to it, not in pursuit of it.

    1. Yeh – I love this, love is a quality inside us so it’s there no matter whether you are on your own or with someone else – or whether you receive it from others or not.

  16. “It is two human beings opening up to let each other feel their essence” When we feel the essence of another as a reflection of ourselves, we realise that this essence is equally in all.

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