We often pretend to love someone without condition, but is this really the case? It starts with falling in love. Well, we can fall into a puddle of mud, but how on earth can we fall in love?
Love is always there, inside of ourselves and everyone else. Meeting someone and feeling a special connection or pull towards that person simply means that we have allowed a space for more love to unfold and become tangible. It is two human beings opening up to let each other feel their essence behind the facade we have often so carefully built to mask what is underneath.
It is a gentle process of trust that is growing and lightness that is flowing, but it can also be there in the instant we first meet. Love can grow with every movement and breath. It does not have room for anger or rage against another, because when these emotions come up, we will instantly feel that, in fact, we are just angry with ourselves and cannot cope with the hurt that we feel within us.
If we truly hold someone in love, it does not matter if they express love towards us or just walk away. The only thing love promotes is to support each other, as best as we can, and in everything that we do. Supporting does not mean to blindly admire everything, but to be honest – with ourselves and everyone else. It means speaking up and expressing, even if we feel the topic might cause a reaction.
Love means letting the other be who he or she is and allowing them to make their choices, no matter how absurd they may seem to us sometimes. It is not for us to judge what another needs to live and go through to learn and move on. Our job is only to express what we feel and then let the other be and choose. Staying with them, holding them with love, but never trying to impose on their absolute freedom.
We are a mirror for each other and this is the greatest gift we can provide – polishing this mirror in a way that it will simply reflect what is always there; no agenda, no manipulation to make the other feel better or do what we want, nothing needed to be done or achieved.
Just being, observing, learning and walking on, realising that there is always a deeper level to move on to. Not by running, but by walking there with graceful steps that honour our bodies. If something challenging comes up, why not thank each other for this opportunity to learn and go deeper, instead of starting to argue and fight? If you feel something is not in flow, why not speak up, instead of holding back out of wishing to protect ourselves from getting hurt, pretending that there could not be greater harmony.
Everything that we do not express will sit with us, accumulate and one day erupt like a volcano. Like the eruption of a volcano, this is highly likely to erase everything that has been there before. This does not mean the end to life, but it will take a large amount of time until the first new, tender plants will grow into the abundance that existed before.
To truly be able to love someone, I first have to hold myself in love and appreciation by accepting myself just as I am and committing to truly care for myself. Not because I am egotistic or a narcissist, but because I deserve that love and care, like we all deserve it.
From there it will be natural to just ’be’ love, irrespective of what anyone does, or a desire for what would have seemed like the perfect outcome for us, and irrespective of whether others listen to us, understand us or love us in return. It will not matter what the other does, the love will always stay the same. It is then time to start to distinguish between the actions of another, which of course sometimes cannot be tolerated, and the person’s essence underneath.
This essence, common in everyone, is love. A love that is simple, still and all-knowing. It is something I can always come back to, as it will always be there – inside of me and of everyone. It is a point we all have in common, a point we all can connect to. This is equality in its truest sense.
By Michael Kremer, Personal Assistant, Buchholz, Germany
What is love? Love is…
A True Love Letter for Serge Benhayon
997 thoughts on “Unconditional Love”
We have been sold the idea that love is something we receive by having a relationship with someone. There’s not many books, films or songs in this world sharing about the inherent sacredness of men an women. A space within that is very still, all knowing and complete. How wonderful it is seeing everyday people, celebrating themselves just as they are by having connected with their essence. There’s a sense of space when you meet them that confirms that beauty with no need to speak. Feeling space in every relationship is the most precious offering we can share with one another. This is about respecting each one cycle, understanding every choice we make, don’t judge or impose…love is just the opposite of any idea we may have in our mind about it. A quality that brings us to surrender and make space within ourselves. Then this is what we can share with everyone we meet.
Love is one of the most interpreted and reinterpreted words throughout history. However its true meaning is much deeper, wider and greater than the pictures and ideals we have associated to it. Deep down inside we all know it.
The most common thing in the world should be the understanding of what True Love brings, means and how to live in that vibration.
Michael I really appreciate what you have shared with the world.
“Love can grow with every movement and breath. It does not have room for anger or rage against another, because when these emotions come up, we will instantly feel that, in fact, we are just angry with ourselves and cannot cope with the hurt that we feel within us.”
If we all followed these words as a guiding principle, there would be far more understanding towards each other and less aggression that’s for sure. We have been out of love for so long so to say we have forgotten that we are made of pure love as we come from God who is also pure love.
so many of us ignore the fact that we cannot love another if we don’t love ourselves, we confuse “love” with need, loneliness and hole fillers and think that just because somebody gives us attention they love us. This is because we are constantly abusing one another, in our words, in our actions & our thoughts. When the bar is this low, anything which does not look like constant abuse can be called love. But what if Love is somebody walking beside you, in the strength that they hold, without needing anything from you and just enjoying the presence that you bring?
That is an important point Viktoria, we can’t truly love another until we can first love ourselves.
Thank you Michael, “I first have to hold myself in love and appreciation by accepting myself” and others, for appreciating is a key to our evolution and being non-judge-mental and thus unconditional in our Love for ourself and others.
Michael it is a great topic, something that relates to the very essence of who we are – unconditional love and being the love we are could really be in every curriculum in education. How different the world would be if our number one job/purpose was to be the love we are in all we do. There is so much complication on false love, whereas the true essence of love we are is simplicity and allowing people space to be exactly where they are, so well expressed here in this line “simply reflect what is always there; no agenda, no manipulation to make the other feel better or do what we want, nothing needed to be done or achieved.” Thank you Michael.
Yes absolutely, ‘How different the world would be if our number one job/purpose was to be the love we are in all we do.’
‘If something challenging comes up, why not thank each other for this opportunity to learn and go deeper, instead of starting to argue and fight?’ What a beautiful way to live; something I’m starting to appreciate and live myself even though it is so tempting to go back into my story of poor me, look what another’s just done to me to try to justify not being love! Appreciating everything that comes my way is life changing.
Thanks for highlighting this Karin, it is a very different way to view the world without the pictures of how life should be, but embracing each situation with the sense of an opportunity to respond, learn and grow.
Letting go of ideals and pictures can open up space for truth to appear in our lives.
I am not so sure if this is true? ‘We often pretend to love someone without condition, but is this really the case? It starts with falling in love.’ …. That pretending to love someone without condition starts with falling in love. It can start in families between parents and children for example ‘I will love you unconditionally but don’t make a noise, or a mess, or ask me to be who I truly am, don’t see that I’m sad. We don’t have to use words because energetically we feel so much and often express very little, babies and children can especially feel this as they are so with their innate clairsentience.
I was in a shopping centre today and saw a young man with a disability go up to see people say hello and give them all a hug. Now he looked like he knew them, but feeling the warmth and the acceptance of who this person was, was very joyful to feel. They all truly wanted to be in the presence of each other.
Love, True expression, Evolution and how we expand our awareness are paramount in us gaining wisdom and seem to be lacking in our current schooling models! Maybe we should base our curriculum on Love, as what is happening to our children at present is not working?
What is currently happening in education is clearly not working for the children.
I feel the key here is in the word fall ‘falling in love’ to me it has a sense of exactly that falling away from ourselves and into a void (supposedly another). What I am learning more and more is that it is about holding ourselves in love and then in doing so we can equally hold another in love. So fall or hold? I know which one I choose.
A great sharing of how we need to love ourselves first before we can truly love another.
Beholding another in the love that they are, does not impose or judge them in behaviours that are not who they truly are.
Love gives another space to make their own choices, ‘Love means letting the other be who he or she is and allowing them to make their choices, no matter how absurd they may seem to us sometimes.’
Love can grow with every breath, beautifully said Michael.
“Love means letting the other be who he or she is.” I love this. In the past I often heard people say they could change their partner ‘once they were married’ or similar. Accepting other’s choices plays a big part in any relationship.
it is true, when we are angry at others we are just angry at ourselves but do not know what to do with the hurt we are holding onto inside of the body.
If we are feeling angry, then that energy emanates all around us, and not only feels horrible for ourselves, but equally all others surrounding us.
When we meet each other in our essence we are meeting in true equality, this makes sense to me, and the common point we come to is love. Very beautiful Michael the way you express is exquisite.
We cannot fall into love but we can and have fallen out of it by virtue of not holding true to the love that lives within us. The esoterically referred to ‘fall of man’ is this very act and is what has led to us all, men and women, fashioning a life for ourselves that does not have this love at its core. Such surface dwelling creates much misery that then has us seeking relief in all its guises, a biggie being the pull of an emotional ‘love’ which is simply a substitute we crave when we do not honour the depth of the love that we are.
“Love means letting the other be who he or she is and allowing them to make their choices,” Love can also be when another shows you that they way you are choosing to live is not loving for yourself or those around you.
The part you’ve highlighted Mary, shows me that many of us may have misinterpreted what love is, well I certainly did anyway. But now I have a very clear understanding with huge thanks for these amazing blogs and the incredible presentations and workshops I attended at Universal Medicine.
It is true that expression is essential to keep a relationship growing. Like love when expression stops flowing or becomes nice and unchallenging, there is stagnation between you.
And this we should never ever deny, even if we have previously done so. For it is so stupendously big that holding back our love, is the greatest torture.
It certainly is Danna, this torture is often self-inflicted which means we can undo this form of torture ourselves by living love.
When you love someone I have found that one of the hardest things to do is to keep truly loving them from my heart when they make choices that I have not agreed with and which have had an impact on my life. Although this is still an ongoing learning I have found it very liberating as by doing so there are not the attachments and expectations and in place its has come space and openness for a new and deeper relationship.
Expectations are a killer in any relationship. When we can let go of these it is often surprising what can arise.
It was good to read and feel this about falling in love as I don’t feel I have truly just been with this ‘It starts with falling in love. Well, we can fall into a puddle of mud, but how on earth can we fall in love?’ What it feels like is when we ‘fall in love’ or think we have fallen in love it is that we still have not felt the fullness of love first within ourselves and are looking outside of ourselves for love (or for an emptiness within, however small, to be filled). Don’t get me wrong, of course we can love another but with always holding ourselves equally in that same love. For how can we love another if we do not truly love ourselves?
True Vicky, loving ourselves is a prerequiste for being able to love another, ‘To truly be able to love someone, I first have to hold myself in love and appreciation by accepting myself just as I am and committing to truly care for myself. ‘
The claim of “Unconditional Love” often comes out of need. We think that we will do anything and accept anything of a person simply because this is how much we love them but in truth, is it possible that we will do anything and accept everything simply because our need is strong? I.e. accepting abuse from a person who we love does not make sense, we can’t love somebody who causes physical/ emotional harm yet many people choose to stay in such relationships… there is more to uncover when these words are used, to discern where they come from because if we love unconditionally, there are no expectations, no attachments and no need – so we are actually able to let go of relationships and still hold the love for the person regardless of where they go. But in that, we remain whole, untouched and will not allow abuse in our lives.
Being all the love that we are and allowing another to be is living purpose to its fullest.
Doug this really reminds me of a time I was wishing to fall in love again. I wanted to feel the euphoria of it all and not feel the parts of my life that hurt. I didn’t want to go back to feeling the lack of self-love or self-loathing and take responsibility for healing myself. There was love in this relationship but I clouded it in illusion. So when the relationship ended I didn’t go deeper within and keep the fires burning. No, I spent many years looking for someone else to give me what I had felt and it’s only recently I’m embracing no other can save us.
‘If something challenging comes up, why not thank each other for this opportunity to learn and go deeper…’ Very true. I’m slowly coming around to embracing the lessons and the learnings rather than wanting to hide from them and seeking comfort.
Everything you say here brings me back to the fact that it starts with holding myself deeply in love. When we come back to the essence of what is, it’s very simple.
When we have a deep love of self we are able to observe more, ‘From there it will be natural to just ’be’ love, irrespective of what anyone does, or a desire for what would have seemed like the perfect outcome for us, and irrespective of whether others listen to us, understand us or love us in return.’
What we think love is may not in fact be solely love. I am a hugger at heart and love to hug and be physically affectionate. Whilst this is very beautiful it is not always the case especially if there is a slight element of need in it. Then it feels cushy and capping and imposing for the other person.
Great to bring some truth to what love actually is, not what we’ve been sold, or have needed/wanted it to be. That ability to be a mirror, where we simply hold steady and reflect back to others their own choices without need, investment or judgment starts with ourselves: how willing are we to be mirrors to ourselves, to see in full, all of our choices, and their consequences, and behavioural patterns, without judgment – just pure, loving understanding and observation?
Unimed Living has a section on what Love truly is, a great read,
Recently doing Esoteric sitting Yoga and exploring my touch on my face and knee it is quite wonderful discover how tense I can be, it’s a bit of a revelation.
The only way to get to unconditional love is to start by loving ourselves to the bone, warts and all. Then we can begin to love others in that way.
I’ve learned many things about Love in the past 20 years, from being at school and needing to be loved, to thinking I was loving and being loved, when everything was based on what each of us got from the relationship, to understanding and feel what true love is. And in that true love, it’s not anything that we do for another but it is the very essence of who we are that is everything.
Great analogy Michael – be the mirror that is polished to just reflect and not to judge or diminish.
Great reminder Michael today to just be the love I am and not judge.
I had this image today of us just being a big ball of gold emanating rather than a dense body with lots of thoughts circulating my head.
We must never confuse emotional love that often is out of a need and has to fill an emptiness with allowing the space to let the love that is always there to unfold itself into our lives and all relationships that we have and build day after day.
Very true not many could say they love without conditions yet we expect our children to love us unconditionally ! Such awful hypocrisy, but I guess we innately know babies and young children are love, they love unconditionally but are met with conditions so soon learn to do the same. We do have the power to return to a truer way of loving.
For sure Vanessa, we do have that power like for instance to let go of judgement as it is the nail in the coffin for all our relationships, and choose love to unfold in our relationships and let blossom all of these instead. How powerful is that!
Very often we hold back from supporting another with truth for fear of the reaction. But I have come to understand that if it is said with love, they may react on one level but on a subtle level their heart feels it and knows it to be true. When someone speaks truth it can be felt in our bodies as the energy of truth resonates in such a way that the body resonates in response.
Yes the truth is never wasted even though we may not always clock it ourselves and what we deliver may appear to fall on deaf ears. Truth expressed as Love carries a vibration – and on some level it will be registered and felt.
“We often pretend to love someone without condition, but is this really the case?” a great question, for myself I know too well that I would say I loved someone but looking back it was that i really deeply needed that person to make me feel better about myself and avoid feeling an emptiness inside. That is clear not love and very clearly not unconditional.
Yes for most of us this is undeniable that we are in relationships to fill the emptiness.
Love, and emotional love are worlds apart, emotional love feels horrible as it comes from an emptiness and so is needy.
That we are loved despite our choice to not be this love, is the greatest example of unconditional love that I know.
Love elevates us. We cannot fall into it.
I think being honest with ourself about if or where we have conditions on how loving we will be is really helpful. Not from a place of being negative but from being that honest with ourself we can then open up to seeing how to deepen the love we hold in our life, within ourself and equally with all others…
Yeah that is a good point Fiona, being honest allows a deeper honesty to develop.