The Real Purpose of the ‘Out There’

For a lot of my life I have been rolling around in the ‘out there’, caught up in the “she said, he said, it’s not fair” illusion of life. Through my observations I feel it’s true to say that for most people the ‘out there’ is their reality and this is where the emphasis of life rests for most.

What do I mean when I say the ‘out there’? Well I mean life, as it’s commonly known. The stories we create, the drama we get caught up in, the pain we feel and the highs and the lows. We roll around from scenario to scenario, totally wrapped up in the detail of the ‘out there’, rarely questioning our part in whatever it is we’re embroiled in.

As long as the emphasis stays on the ‘out there’, then the ‘out there’ will always stay the same because the ‘out there’ only exists because of the ‘in here’. Without the ‘in here’, there is no ‘out there’.

When we have a struggle with someone then we nearly always put our attention on what we perceive it is that they are doing wrong. Often we will team up with others who feel the same as us, and if we can’t find someone who also feels the same, then we will find someone who is at least sympathetic to our struggle and who confirms that the problem is indeed ‘out there’.

Many times at work I have witnessed a whole group of people criticise a fellow worker: the fact that there is a group of people all feeling the same way seems to confirm to them that the problem is with the other person, because being part of the majority seems by its very nature to imply that the majority are always right. The expression ‘in the right’ is in itself an indication that something in the ‘in here’ needs attending to.

When we discuss problems with one another there is an unwritten code of conduct that we will side with the person who is confiding in us, especially if it is a close friend. We listen, we sympathise, we join in the criticism and we make absolutely sure that the emphasis stays on the ‘out there’.

Few would dare to say “Have you considered what part you play in all of this?”

Not only do we keep the emphasis on the ‘out there’ with what we consider to be ‘our own’ problems, but we do it with everything else that we perceive to not be working – the government, the education system, climate change, world hunger, violence in society, attitudes to women, child abuse. It seems that we are under the belief that everything that is not working is not working ‘out there’ – we have a smug sense that everything with us is ok. We all seem to believe that “it is ‘those others’ who are stuffing it up for the rest of us.” If it wasn’t for ‘those others’, we’d all be ok! Right?

Life is the sum total of all of its parts.

The ‘out there’ is a magnification of the ‘in here’. The ‘out there’, if you will, is like a giant plasma TV screen of the ‘in here’. If you want to know how you’re doing on the ‘in here’, then take a look at your ‘out there’, it’s up on the big screen for all to see.

This is colossal because it calls us to absolute responsibility. There is nowhere to hide, no one to blame, we have set everything in motion ourselves; and by everything I literally mean every-thing – nothing (as in no-thing) exists ‘out there’ without it first existing in the ‘in here’.

We each have our own perception of the world and rarely stop to consider that the world looks very different to each of us, depending on our own individual ‘in heres’. If a person’s ‘in here’ is one of mistrust and suspicion then that person’s ‘out there’ will be made up of people who can’t be trusted and situations that confirm that the person needs to be permanently on guard. When a person’s ‘in here’ is one of harmony and love then their ‘out there’ will reflect back to them exactly the same harmony and love.

The reason why the world feels so incredibly loveless to so many people is simply because it is a magnification of our collective ‘in here’s’… and there is so much that is loveless in so many people’s ‘in here’s’.

Reflection has no investment whatsoever in what it is reflecting; its job is simply to reflect.

Historically when the ‘out there’ hasn’t worked, we have not questioned the direction of our attention, we have simply increased the intensity of our efforts in the ‘out there’. Consequently we are living in an age of paraphernalia. We have desperately filled our ‘out theres’ with all manner of stuff and gadgets in an attempt to make ourselves feel better in our ‘in heres’.

Knowing that every-thing that is not love does not belong in the ‘in here’, the divine function of the ‘out there’ is to reflect back to us the what-is-not-love on the ‘in here’ because if it weren’t for the ‘out there’, how would we know what is not love on the ‘in here’?

As soon as a significant number of people start to change their ‘in heres’ then the feeling in the world will also by reflection be significantly changed. It will become common knowledge that the change in the world has come about through people changing their ‘in heres’, and then the change will spread like wild fire. Indeed this has already begun.

We are all love equally and in its divine expression the whole of the ‘out there’ exists to continually unfold us back to the love that we already are. In its illusionary state the purpose of the ‘out there’ is to keep us embroiled in the illusion for as long as possible. If we turn away from the ‘out there’ and start to focus on the ‘in here’ then it is only a matter of time before we remember that God was inside us all along.

Our future is the same as our past, to return to a time when the ‘in here’ and the ‘out there’ is nothing but love because In truth love is all there is.

By Alexis Stewart, Student of the Livingness, Mum, Care worker, Yoga Teacher, Sydney, Australia

Further Reading:
Looking in a Mirror – Enjoying a True Reflection
True Reflection, the Way of The Livingness & The 5 Elements of God

1,070 thoughts on “The Real Purpose of the ‘Out There’

  1. I love the concept of life reflecting to us how we choose to live, for it is then up to us to live the life we want and have that constellate to reflect back that care and love…. and also expose when needed what we are choosing to not see so that we can choose to address it. Very cool.

  2. It is interesting the amount of focus we put on the ‘out there’ and don’t question it even when life becomes more difficult or complicated, we just increase our focus. When the majority are all thinking the same way, the reflection that is created and perceived by everyone is ‘normal’ but in truth it feels far from it and rather an excuse to not take responsibility because everyone else is doing the same thing.

  3. Very profound blog.

    We live in a society where the saying goes, majority rules.

    This is a miss led direction but determined to be the reality of the many.

    And the fact that this saying underpins many decision ranging from households to governments.
    It is a deeply imbeded issue.

    Is it that many of us have the underlying hurt of rejection. Thereby we are willing to swallow anything to be accepted, and by that notion, accepted by anything.

  4. Very true Alexis that nothing exists ‘out there’ before first existing ‘in here’. A greater call to responsibility, knowing that how we are with ourselves is magnified in the world. Accepting that everything is a choice is empowering because it means we then have the ability to turn things around. We’re not the victims of circumstances, things don’t just happen to us: we create our own reality.

  5. A fantastic blog Alexis on the part we all play in how the world is today. When we place the blame on circumstances hence the ‘out there,’ we water down the real responsibility and part that we play in all facets of our lives. This is then magnified by the world at large and the devastation we see play out on the news, in the media etc. When we focus on our part in any given situation and the movements we make everyday we begin to see a pattern of ways that may no longer serve us, which in turn creates a space for us to then choose to move from our own connection. This brings back responsibility to our own backyards which will greatly change the larger landscape of the world.

  6. ‘Through my observations I feel it’s true to say that for most people the ‘out there’ is their reality and this is where the emphasis of life rests for most.’ I find this really interesting because our reality is not truly our reality at all. When we change the way we live and start to live from the inside out in brotherhood our reality will truly change.

  7. Blaming the ‘out there’ for all our woes just feeds our victim mentality and keeps us engrossed in life’s dramas thus avoiding having to look at the part we have played in creating those very woes.

  8. Love what you have shared Alex, with the “out there” and the “in here”, life for me was lived, and is common to most people, in the out there with no idea of what the in here holds, this is the illusion that it is all out side of us therefore we don’t have a choice and can then blame anything and everything for what happens to us from out there .” If we turn away from the ‘out there’ and start to focus on the ‘in here’ then it is only a matter of time before we remember that God was inside us all along.”

  9. I spent many years chasing everything outside of myself but I was never satisfied until I started to discover and appreciate that everything I ever wanted was within me.

  10. We have not spent enough time dissecting what we align to and how.
    We are clear that the number factor works. If other people also feel how I do, this confirms where I stand. Yet, experience abound that masses can rally behind things people etc. that not only do not bring anything good but also deeply harms them. So, the fact that other people also feel in the same way we do means not that much necessarily.
    What are we left with? Aligning with a body that feels something with a level of clarity and with total absence of tension underneath that we do know is the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

  11. I love to blame the “out there”, blame others and make them want to see that I am right. Yet, as I am learning it is not about them. I am responsible for everything that happens in my life. It can feel much easier to blame others but that is just a bandaid on an ugly festering wound that I am feeding.

  12. Hear, hear, to us all taking responsibility for our ‘in here’ to offer another way of being to our shared ‘out there’.

  13. No matter how much we endeavour to change the ‘out there’ we will only be ‘moving deck-chairs on the Titanic’. It is only when we address our own ‘in here’ will there be true change.

  14. What we see out there is reflecting back to us how we live or have lived in the past. When we take that responsibility and embrace all to heal instead of judge we find our way back to heaven.

    1. nd sylvianbrinkman, I am sitting with this as we speak. I have just had an altercation at work and was taken aback at how quickly and utterly I allowed myself to get drawn into the emotion of what was happening. Post incident I am resisting the old pattern of trying to dissect what happened with my head and instead I am coming back to the steadiness of my movements, knowing that it is my body that will show me the potential learning in what, at the time, felt like nothing but a backwards step.

  15. Amazing Alexis thank you. Has made me look into my “out there” and what this truly means for what is going on in my “in there”. Very profound

  16. This was very interesting to read Alexis, I have always liked the saying “It takes two to tango”. It’s a nice neat scenario when we don’t look at ourselves and it’s someone else or “out there”, as you say. I appreciated the plasma TV analogy and how it’s reflecting back everyone’s inner world. The love that we truly are as souls is definitely not playing out on the TV!

  17. Yes, being part of the majority makes us feel comfortable. There is safety in numbers and people don’t want to stand’ out, but I know there has been many a time where I have wanted to speak out but held back for fear of being the only one with a different view.

  18. I get very distracted by the ‘out there’ and forget about the ‘in here.’ Love this reminder that the out there can lead to complication and a neglect of myself. I like the way you ended this blog Alexis – “to return to a time when the ‘in here’ and the ‘out there’ is nothing but love because In truth love is all there is.”

    1. ‘In truth love is all there is’… it is our natural and innate state and therefore we have to do very little to get there but surrender all the things we have adopted that interfere.

  19. A beautiful blog Alexis on reflection and the power and wisdom held in the “in here,” for us all to consider that we all play a major part on the outlook of the “out there.” Thank you.

  20. We find it far easier to blame others for the situations we face because we are so used to looking ‘out there’ to confirm our identity and to fit in and we are swayed by what the majority are accepting and believing in because it distracts us from having to look at ourselves and take responsibility for our choices.

  21. ‘If we turn away from the ‘out there’ and start to focus on the ‘in here’ then it is only a matter of time before we remember that God was inside us all along.’ Beautifully said and very true Alexis, after spending most of my life focusing on the ‘out there’ I ended up feeling pretty exhausted and disconnected to life and my true self. Learning to take responsibility and to live ‘in here’ has been an absolute game changer that has bought much joy and a deeper connection to myself and God.

  22. Yes whilst we distract ourselves with all the so-called ‘noise’ around us we are really just avoiding feeling our own power…what a game!

  23. Alexis I absolutely agree it’s so convenient for us to place the blame “out there”, totally forgetting that we are actually in and part of the situation too. It’s part of our responsibility to look at our part and deal with it then and there rather than carrying judgement and blame and and like you say, instead of dealing with “out there” deal take responsibility for “in here”.

  24. Appreciating our purpose and commitment to living what we are in full on the inside, with everyone equally on the outside might just start to tip the earth on it’s axis and shake-off some loveless-ness, which will make more space for the reflections of love to shine brighter than ever.

  25. A refreshing look at the world outside and how it can actually change if we choose. So often in the past there has been a sense of hopelessness, of pain and/or suffering etc, and all along looking further in the same mess for something to be different. How can something truly change unless the ingredients are changed, i.e what we put in. As the article returns us to, unless the inside or in another way what we putting out, the quality of the ingredients we are putting out there changes then the picture will always be the same but just have different characters in a different setting. As hard as it maybe to swallow for some, and as difficult as it maybe for many, the only way to make a change to what we are seeing is to make a change within ourselves. As the article so clearly sets out, the reflection we are seeing isn’t by chance or an accident or a coincidence it’s a result directly of the sum total of what we have allowed out, the quality of our being inside. If there is something we don’t want to see then there is no use in changing the channel as this will just be more of the same, we will need to change the input.

  26. It is true that out there and in here go hand in hand and that we use the former to confirm/solidify the latter. So, what we live and what comes back at us is not coincidence. This is great to know since gives us the key to shape the out there, often taken as intractable.

  27. Our only responsibility is to live a life that is honouring of who we are and to understand that the quality we choose at any moment has a detrimental effect and everything around us, when we really get this fact, we can see that there is a difference between caring for someone and avoiding responsibility by getting involved in their issues rather than just offer our reflection.

  28. Perfectly presented Alexis. As so wisely stated many many millions of moons ago by Hermes: As Above, So too Below. The macrocosm cannot exist without the microcosm. The sky is forever reflected in the sea.

    1. ‘The sky is forever reflected in the sea’… everything is inextricably linked, including us, and the more I accept and live this the more deeply held and responsible I feel.

  29. The more we blame the ‘out there’ for how things are the more aspects of the ‘out there’ that we are blaming becomes magnified rather diminished.

      1. Very true, Alexis, and so many people believe that this ‘drama’ is what life is all about when in truth the ‘drama’ is all illusion and distraction away from addressing and resolving the cause for the ‘drama’.

      2. Indeed jstewart and when the drama is not there are a lot of people who also feel ‘not there’ because the identity hungry spirit is no longer being fed. We each need to get to the point where we systematically pull the plug on the spirit completely and thereby end it’s miserable existence and hand the seat of power back over to the soul.

      3. I agree, Alexis, that we need to “systematically pull the plug on the spirit completely” however I do not feel it is not to end its existence as it is after all an aspect of our self, our Soul. It is instead to end its dominance and thereby for it to return to Soul.

  30. In our resistance of being more of who we are – we easily gravitate to the myriad of distractions around us only to offer a fake sense of security and control away from the truth and absoluteness of our inner-hearts.

  31. When we deny our true nature we leave a chasm to be filled by everything that is not of our true nature, and then we stand on this false ground with an arrogance that we know it all…

  32. To separate the ‘out there’ from the ‘in here’ is to cleave ourselves in two. Accepting that the ‘in here’ informs the ‘out there’ is the embracing of responsibility and this changes our lives completely

  33. By just becoming aware that there is an ‘in here’ you can connect to, it exposes the whole game of the ‘out there’s’ immediately.

    1. Very simply delivered Suse – all in a nut shell! When we know about the “in here”, the ‘insignificance’ of the “out-there” is obvious, and so is the preciousness of the “in-here” highlighted.

  34. Most of the people are used to live disconnected of the possibility of an ‘in here’ and everything around supports the focus ‘out there’. This makes more valuable the Ageless Wisdom teachings, which help us to reconnect back to our ‘in here’ before anything else. Only from there we are able to understand why everything is as it is, to take responisibility of our part and change ‘in here’ our contribution to the ‘out there’

    1. Well said Amparo, you are exactly right when you say; “Only from there we are able to understand why everything is as it is” in regards to reconnecting back to our ‘in here’s’. Indeed that then highlights why we can’t make sense of the world, it is primarily because we are looking at it from the ‘out there’, basically chaos trying to make sense of chaos.

  35. “When the ‘out there’ hasn’t worked, we have not questioned the direction of our attention, we have simply increased the intensity of our efforts in the ‘out there’. I agree Alexis, it is interesting how we try to convince ourselves and stubbornly continue doing something that clearly is not working in the struggle to try to better our life because we have so much invested in the ‘out there’ that to admit it is not working we would have to face all the choices we have made up to that point and the responsibility we have not accepted.

    1. Linda agreed we are almost solely invested in the out there, either actively changing from one activity or relationship to another or clinging desperately onto a particular way of living, not realising that they are both the same in essence and both serve the same purpose, which is to distract us from having a peek inside of us and considering if our inner ingredients are in fact the missing ingredients.

  36. Interesting how I was reflecting on the level of distraction that we indulge in as a society. I was on a long-haul flight overseas and was observing how most of the passengers were either eating or watching a movie or playing a game on screen. Some were watching movie after movie, totalling about 6 different movies (about 2 hours each) in a row before we got to our destination. This to me shows how much we are constantly seeking a form of distraction, that we are not comfortable just being and allowing the world to happen around us, taking in the happenings and just observing all that is around us. We distract ourselves from feeling with foods and all kinds of entertainment. Hence being caught up in the ‘out there’ and not the ‘in here’. When will we be ready to bring the focus on the depth of relationship we can have with ourselves and those around us?

    1. “When will we be ready to bring the focus on the depth of relationship we can have with ourselves and those around us?” great question Henrietta and I reckon we’ll be ‘ready’ when we get to the point that we are so utterly miserable and empty from our continual and futile efforts of trying to fill ourselves up from the outside that, out of desperation we start to look within.

  37. “Reflection has no investment whatsoever in what it is reflecting; its job is simply to reflect.” – reflection is indeed a most powerful tool for our own growth.

  38. “…being part of the majority seems by its very nature to imply that the majority are always right.” This has been accepted for eons and yet time and time and time…..again it is proved to be untrue. The world was flat once right? Being part of a majority means we can abdicate our responsibility to feel the truth of any situation and just give ourself over to the majority view. Absolute irresponsibility.

  39. Yep – bringing it ALL back to our relationship with self as a keystone of our foundation, is so deeply needed. As is our awareness of not engaging in that which would have us deny our own responsibility in any given situation.

  40. It is so true that in issues or problems we look to blame others to avoid looking fully at our part, what we have lived and set up to allow that to be. For example if we have a car accident, we might just palm it off as an accident without considering what led to the point for that to happen. There is much responsibility we avoid but it is this that we need to come back too if we want things to change.

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