Today I feel anxious because I had sugar. It sucks because the days before I hadn’t, and I felt awesome; my body felt warm, at ease with myself and others as I had learned to live with the awesome realisation that I am responsible for my choices and have come to the understanding of how those choices impact on how I feel in my life, in my body, and with others. This realisation had allowed a strength and dedication to life that fed the purpose of why I am on this planet.
But the great thing is, as I have learned, there is no need to beat myself up for the sugar choice; I just feel it, look for what I was trying to not feel – my tiredness, a lack of sweetness in my interactions, an excessive drive or push in the day – and acknowledge whatever happened and move on to the next moment.
I live most of my days feeling really good: some fantastic, some ropey, but 90% of the time I feel great. I look in the mirror and I like what I see. I didn’t even own a mirror for 7 years of my life, let alone look in one! I was avoiding looking into my eyes as I would see how I had been living my life – full of partying, and looking for someone to say you’re a great friend, good fun, nice, friendly, clever etc. The fact was, I was looking for everything outside of myself.
The Way of The Livingness has helped me to find practical day-to-day things that support me to feel amazing. Firstly, my breath and choosing to reconnect to it naturally being gentle. Secondly, how I choose to move and keeping my mind on that – not doing or thinking about a thousand chores or a thousand conversations, but what I am doing in that moment, whether I am walking or brushing my teeth etc. This has been a challenging task to learn to master but I realised the other night that I have mastered brushing my teeth and feeling my teeth instead of planning a meal, beating myself up for what I hadn’t done etc. It has taken dedication and practice. But I am worth it!
Why would I put all this effort in? Because I know I am Divine; that I come from something beautiful and magical. I know this because I feel it, and have felt it at every Universal Medicine healing course I have attended. When I place my hands on another person as a practitioner in a healing course and connect to my breath, I feel an expansiveness in me that lets me feel the truth that we are all connected. Science says it, I feel it, and once I felt this at my very first course, I couldn’t go back to thinking otherwise.
You can’t unknow what you already know. Simple.
Before I felt this, that taking responsibility for my choices could allow me to connect so deeply, I didn’t have any reason to stop the way I was living as I believed all was fine. I had lots of friends, a job, a partner, my health was ok. But when I felt this love and connection, I wanted to feel it again, and again, and again. And now I feel this love and joyfulness in my every day, not only at a Universal Medicine course but everywhere. I love my work – like really love it – as I am now open and wanting to know and connect with everyone. In an interview situation the other day, I felt not one ounce of anxiousness; I felt totally equal with everyone in the meeting.
I love my home, my relationships and I am working on myself as things come up, but like with the sugar choice, I just take it back to evolving, as in what is my next way to develop so I am living more my true self in every step, no perfection required. Nothing compares to you in your connection with Divinity. NOTHING.
This is The Way of The Livingness for me, and what it means to me –EVERYTHING.
By Vanessa McHardy