by J McFadden, born in Scotland, living in the Netherlands
My trip to Scotland: it was the first time in as long as I could remember that I was looking forward to going – I always visited in the years past as a sense of duty. I would always come back (to Holland) in no hurry to visit Scotland again. My mother would always say something that would hurt me deeply – she always was an insensitive and cold woman in my eyes, and I can remember feeling the distance between us as a small child. I was the third girl in the family and also a twin; I had a twin brother who was the first son born.
My parents, being of Irish descent, grew up with the belief that boys were the most important – more important than girls. This is an old, old belief that is handed down from generation to generation in Ireland, or certainly it is in my family. I remember when my son and daughter were age three and five, my grandmother was leaving after a holiday in Scotland, and the very last words she said to me were – “look after the boy”. She said this to me as if it was the most natural thing to say. I was stunned at the time, but in no way then could I fully understand the enormity or significance of those four words, and for how many decades this belief had been handed down through the generations in our family. Continue reading “No Longer The Black Sheep”