Having arrived in this world during WW2 I entered a time of sombreness, duty and doubt about the future – that was my environment. By the time the war ended I and my two siblings were fed on a belief system that children were to be seen and not heard, sit up straight, don’t chew with your mouth open, you will think what I tell you to think and be good or the bogey man will get you. Early school followed that pattern, and I soon learned that you could not trust anyone. Piano lessons assured that I would be isolated and disciplined.
The years passed, but even when quite small I sensed somewhere within me that I was beautiful – and later on this sense sent me on many a wayward path as I grew older seeking to be recognised, acknowledged and accepted. This seeking continued into the marriage, into bearing children while living in a coal dust filled town in Victoria, being a community volunteer/fundraiser etc.
We moved to a beautiful fruit growing area near the Murray River, when as a young mother of three teenagers, I experienced an ‘epiphany’ if you like, as I felt despair had me wailing to the winds “there’s got to be more than this” – “there’s got to be something else” – my despair rang loud and clear – the response was rapid to fill my emptiness, the void, my need. Something happened – I started channelling – didn’t quite know what it was – but the words were so what I needed to hear – someone/something was listening and I believed it. It seemed to be true – it seemed to be love. But what did I have to gauge the quality of what I was hearing? I had no marker at that time.
Years later we moved further north to the most easterly point where I discovered the word Reiki – didn’t know what it was at first – but believed it must have been what I was looking for – this thing that I needed to fill the emptiness within. Met similar folk who constellated to my emptiness and we were all doing the spiritual new age thing together – all together in our non-connected-ness.
For nearly ten years I dabbled in all of those modalities, published a channelled book and still wondered why ‘I was not getting it’ – that void, that separateness would not leave me.
Then just into the year 2000 I had the opportunity to meet with Serge Benhayon – the knowingness that I had actually felt true love while sitting in that room – he didn’t say much – let me do most of the talking. But it was the ‘feeling’ that this short time had been profound and life changing for me. I felt ‘met’ without words as such being verbalised. It was a deep knowing from within that had no explanation. It just felt true.
I didn’t quite see the connection with my feeling of loss and my behaviour patterns at first – and continued on with learning about Aura Soma at a ‘healing’ centre – even though I mentioned what I was doing, Serge never said “you’d better not continue to do that” – and over the 12 years that I have known Serge Benhayon he has never ever said to me “don’t do that” – “do this” etc. – it has always been an unfolding of my own developing awareness of what was more appropriate for my body, and who I truly am – a slow unfolding admittedly and I still have a way to develop while learning that there is a choice in all that I do.
However, my life as it is now is awesome and amazing and I offer such appreciation and love to Serge Benhayon, all his family, the practitioners, the Clinic and Universal Medicine as the vehicle of the presentations, workshops, studies, etc. During this year of 2012 I have felt younger and more vitality than I experienced during my 40’s and 50’s. During those earlier years I did not understand the connection between all the headaches, bloating, sinusitis, obesity, lethargy and the food that I was taking into my body. With the Universal Medicine presentations I have attended there has been much clarity given to the effects of gluten and dairy on my body – it all makes such sense. When I think of the times that I deliberately took prescribed anti-histamine tablets to enable me to drink alcohol so my face and eyes wouldn’t swell up – just to fit in – to be seen to be doing the same as everyone else – totally ridiculous!
There now is the awareness of more joy in my life, relationships in general are becoming more open and natural, sleep patterns are way more healthy and healing. The practice of the gentle breath meditation is dissolving my anxiety levels, developing awareness of the benefits of being self loving and endeavouring to diminish complexities makes for more harmonious everyday living – living life now in simplicity to the best of my ability.
I have not personally read any of the mis-informed articles written by the journalists, nor listened to any of the sensationalised televised innuendos or lies as meted out by the hosts of those various shows that I have been informed about – I have not felt the need to do so – Love Just Is.
by Roberta Himing
Update: Since writing this blog Roberta Himing has come to inform herself widely regarding the newspaper articles and in particular the continued lies that appear and false allegations that appear online. “Inspiringly those initial words stand – ‘Love Just Is’ – and Universal Medicine stands testament to this, having not wavered in the face of the ill treatment of the press and of cyberbullies, however, at the same time there is a responsibility we all have in speaking out against the extremes of cyberabuse that is being increasingly normalised in our current society.”
As of August 2015 and 3 years after those first erroneous reports were published Roberta Himing continues to see Universal Medicine deal with the lies and innuendos, the untruths and the visciousness, with absolute grace and a consistency of care for people that has never faltered. In 2013 Roberta Himing received Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy through Universal Medicine an experience that would support her to transform her understanding and relationship with constant pain. You can read about Roberta Himing’s experience here.
by Roberta Himing, Gold Coast, Australia
271 thoughts on “What Was and What is Now”
“It was a deep knowing from within that had no explanation. It just felt true.” When truth is felt it just is.
Roberta to read your testimony is inspiring. Here you described your experience of life and how it wasn’t enough, your search continued until one day, you met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Now during the other years, whilst you dabbled or tried or tested the other modalities, no one came after the presenters, teachers or modalities. Why is that? What were you doing during those times compared to meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine times?
You clearly stated ‘unfolding of my own developing awareness’. So, is there a crime or a reason for another to attack except that you are reflecting a truer way to live, without imposing of another? Your choices have changed, so for another to see this, can be exposing for the choices they are making. A great reason to attack and make up lies.
People love hearing, reading about people who have changed their lives, because of a tragedy, accident, loss of a limb etc. And yet, people don’t want to hear about the tragedy or loss that was felt from the inside, which is still a tragedy for that person. I can honestly say everyone is going through their own tragedies, it’s how you deal with it the key.
Roberta if anything keep doing what you are doing, truly inspiring.
Thank you Roberta, as you have shared, “Love just is” and can lived by the way we move and interact with others. So as a Student of The Livingness, wavering from my commitment to deepen my Love does not exist in my being.
Thank you Roberta, reading your blog again today I was touched by your experience of love with Serge Benhayon, how you were always held in love and never imposed upon or told what to do in any way. Love allows us the space to make our own choices.
I loved what you have written Melinda, ‘Love allows us the space to make our own choices’. People are confused about love, there’s the emotional love, and there’s this love that is infinite. And in the latter love, you are left to make your own choices, and in this, the person is still loved even if they walk away from you.
Serge Benhayon is a master of holding us in Love, never imposing on us, just giving us space, whilst continuing to hold us in Love.
“Serge never said “you’d better not continue to do that” – and over the 12 years that I have known Serge Benhayon he has never ever said to me “don’t do that” – “do this” etc. – it has always been an unfolding of my own developing awareness of what was more appropriate for my body, and who I truly am – a slow unfolding admittedly and I still have a way to develop while learning that there is a choice in all that I do.”
Is it possible that we get confused when we are given an example of the consequences of a choice that some people feel that Serge Benhayon is telling them what to do? But surely it is the same as me telling my child when they were young that if they touched the hot stove they would burn their fingers. The burnt fingers are the consequence of touching a hot stove just to check it’s hot. We do like to blame others when we get caught out in the consequences of life’s choices.
Interesting that you lived on the other side of the world to me yet we experienced similar childhoods
“I and my two siblings were fed on a belief system that children were to be seen and not heard, sit up straight, don’t chew with your mouth open, you will think what I tell you to think and be good or the bogeyman will get you.”
This way of living is designed to crush children of the love they are born with so that they grow up deflated, dull and given up. My question has to be why do we do this to ourselves we hate the straitjacket we are forced to put on as children, and yet when we are old enough to have children ourselves we do the same thing to them? This is crazy. What would happen if we brought up just one generation of children in a way that they were able to retain the love that they are born with and allow them to blossom as they grow surely that would make a huge difference to our world?
I am another person who was strongly brought up to be seen and not heard, with other bits that Roberta shared. How come many of us, none of whom knew each other, all from different locations in the world, have been brought up with the same beliefs and impositions ? It makes me wonder about the fact that these ideals and beliefs must have been fed to our parents, from a consciousness, a consciousness that wanted to keep us all small, contracted, thinking we have no value/worth and must keep our mouths shut whatever the situation.
When we ask in desperation something can easily come into our mind and we think it’s the answer, like you with your channelling but we need to be very discerning of energy and realise that the energy in which we ask is likely the energy that we get back.
It is key to be discerning of energy, to know and feel our energetic vibration, and know when something feels off from our essence, our truth.
I can relate to the void or emptiness you felt within Roberta. I remember working with a spiritual healer and she remarked that she could still feel an emptiness or void in me, I could too, her advice at the time was to have children which is not an uncommon response worldwide to the feeling something is missing. I didn’t feel having children would support me and I didn’t like the idea of trying to fill something in myself by using others, after all the void was inside me. It wasn’t until I came to Universal Medicine that I finally reconnected to my essence and soul that who I truly am took up the space I had previously felt as an emptiness. It definitely can’t be filled from any choice or activity in the outer world, nor by another person, it’s there for us to fill up with our true selves.
If we are educated from others´s people scars, life become a scary experience.
The life changing experiences of one person are all that is needed for another to consider that there’s a different way. When reading your blog, the clarity in which you have written is evident, the lack of trying to persuade the reader is welcoming and the openness you share with is reassuring. On the contrast, when reading tabloid news papers we get sold an agenda, somebody always trying to convince us that they are right, that what they say is gospel. In a world where the majority of humanity is constantly seeking to prove themselves as right, to enforce a view point, meeting Serge Benhayon allows the opportunity to see that things do not have to be that way, he gives space to everyone to feel their own truth, to connect to their inner heart without an ounce, a drop, even a breath of imposition.
That thing, that inner glimmer that never goes away is such a beautifull thing. No matter what we go through we still have that reference within us that can guide us back home again.
And when we do just let it be it is all there – and we realise it has been all along.
I dread to think what sort of piano lessons assured you would be” isolated and disciplined”. The piano is such a gorgeous way to express yet this sounds far from your experience Roberta.
The feeling of emptiness and unsettlement is ever present. There is nothing we can do about it. It is a place we are destined to return after whatever we do. In front of this, we can either try busyness to avoid being with ourselves or we can ask what is going on and what can I truly do to deal with what causes the emptiness. There is nothing like settlement. The respite we get is everything.
What I took from your blog is that we know that we are missing something and we can’t fill the empty space with anything else than the true us, our essence or true love – however you call it – so even though we might not know what we miss we definitely know when we find it again.
We feel the difference, when the emptiness is no longer there.
‘Love just is’ – so true. I love what you share in your update, and I agree – even though Love just is, and needs no protection or justification, it is our responsibility to call out what is not.
Roberta I too have had that same feeling “there’s got to be more than this” I just couldn’t fathom out what it was until I came across Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and then I instinctively knew.
‘When I think of the times that I deliberately took prescribed anti-histamine tablets to enable me to drink alcohol so my face and eyes wouldn’t swell up – just to fit in’…. Roberta this is making me wonder if any of your family or friends who knew you were taking medications so you could drink alcohol simply suggested to you to just not drink it. After all I am sure if it was a food you wouldn’t eat it again and would call it an allergy, so why is alcohol different?
We do have a responsibility to speak up against the extremes of cyber abuse… we have a responsibility to speak up against everything that is not true in our lives. Changes are taking place in areas of our lives but we have to ask ourselves as to whether the changes truly supports us, all of us or does it further deepen the mayhem we are living in.
Roberta I had many forays also into the new age spirituality and although it seemed helpful and harmless at the time I can tell you that it was in fact for me very harmful. I am currently aware of this because my body now has to heal every step I made, and the closer I get to my soul, the more that comes up to be reviewed, felt and discerned. The more my body shows me the true harm of the new age and what it did to me personally the more I realise it’s just another way we are led away from ourselves and from our soul, from our inner qualities, and the from equality we each hold via our connection to our innermost heart. One of the draw cards of the new age is energy, yet though this appeals to the fact we know there is more than the physical, it does not look at the quality of energy which is vital to know, because what source of energy is it we are experiencing – spirit or soul? Without this discernment we can be deeply harmed by the energy of spirit, as the only healing and true restoration comes from the energy of our soul. In the work of Universal Medicine the discernment between spirit and soul is very up front, and they are the only organisation I know of that takes this level of energetic responsibility.
Love just is – beautiful. Showing us in depth of care what love does when evil is spread – not react, simply be and stay steady beholding the love that one is.
It is beautiful to receive the blessings when we say yes to living from our hearts as they are not just for self but for the good of all. Thank you Roberta.
You are so right It is both crazy and ridiculous the things that we do to override the body! ‘I deliberately took prescribed anti-histamine tablets to enable me to drink alcohol so my face and eyes wouldn’t swell up – just to fit in – to be seen to be doing the same as everyone else – totally ridiculous!’ There is no judgement here as I know I have done similar things in the past but your honesty here made me see what we do more clearly. We put so much effort into overriding our body or fitting in with people if we put even half the amount of effort we do with this into truly reconnecting to ourselves and our Soul the world would be a completely different place. I love the testimony you have given regarding Serge it is so true .. his love, lived love, depth of care, tenderness, non imposing way, and genuine love of people helps us to see a different way without any words being spoken. pure gold. And yes he never ever ever has told anyone what to do or not do. The journalists that write all the lies about him would do good to take a leaf from his book so to speak.
It’s interesting how most spiritual modalities leave you aching and seeking for more – it’s a bit like you’re thirsty and you can never get enough water in your glass – and while we are seeking in this way we can never settle, where as the approach from the soul leaves you knowing you were born with a full glass and that glass always remains full no matter what happens to you.
It is insatiable but has to be as it can never quell the unrest simply because it is not it.
Not once has Serge Benhayon or Universal Medicine faltered in their dedication or commitment to truly supporting and caring for everyone equally throughout this whole process. To me this speaks volumes of the strong integrity and immense love that Serge Benhayon lives on a daily basis and continues to inspire so many people with.
I remember having ‘there must be more’ thoughts and feelings. These came at all different points in my life and from all different angles. It could have been low point but also high points, there was no consistency to when they came, they just came. It was like the opening to see when something wasn’t as it seemed, similar to get a secure job and when you haven’t got that you think that when you do everything will be fine. You get the job and then the feeling is still there and so you have something else ready to go to chase next ‘thing’ that will answer the question only to find that’s not it either. Some things can take days and others years but you still keep coming back to the question ‘there must be more’. Since Universal Medicine I haven’t had that question come up, it doesn’t supply the answers but more made the road clearer so I could follow the path I already could see.
Since Universal Medicine I have stopped searching outside myself, I have found the missing ingredient that supports me to live here on this planet.
To those that say to themselves “there has to be more”, we can share with them that they are absolutely right and if they want to feel into it, Serge Benhayon will help them to open that door.
Thank you for sharing Roberta. I can recall the many ‘trips’ I got sucked into in the past when searching for the elusive missing ingredient which by the way was my connection to self. It was Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that presented that we need to discern everything as energy first as to whether it is harming or healing because everything is energy and therefore everything is because of energy. This can be clearly felt in the body and in the end if we come back to our body we find that the body never lies and can be the true marker of what energy we have chosen to be in at any given time.
Thank you Roberta for an inspiring life story, in your continual search for truth, and the amazing connection that was offered by Serge Benhayon by just being in his presence, feeling the true love that lives within us all, so profound.
There is more to life than what we can see and/or touch. When going into the world of that immaterial part of life I haven’t known of anyone other than Serge Benhayon to explain the other part of life as clearly and confidently as one may do if they were to explain any part of our physical world.
Thank God that there is more than what we can see and/or touch on this planet!
We can think we have answers or have found something that “helps” but at the end of the day, if our body is telling us a different story, then perhaps the answers we have found aren’t actually answering all the questions.Universal Medicine is the kind of thing you know is absolutely true, its not something you know because you like what its about or because you think the books Serge writes are relatable. Its just true and every move Serge makes confirms a feeling you have in your cells.
That internal calling ‘There has to be more to life than this’ is answered when you attend presentations of Universal Medicine and are reintroduced to the Ageless Wisdom that has been telling us the truth that it is in the way we choose to live that will open our awareness to the truth of love and purpose.
I loved reading this. It’s such a common theme running through many of the blogs from the Students of Unimed, myself included, that the desperate search for ‘something else’ came to a halt we met Serge Benhayon and reconnected to the Ancient Wisdom we all hold within.
What an incredible life story Roberta. The story of your life is what is truly newsworthy.
At the moment when we have the epiphany “there has to be more to life than this” is when we need to be super discerning, but that is when we are often quite vulnerable and will take on any old thing that seems to offer a filling of the void.
Roberta, you are not alone in experiencing the struggle of your physical symptoms courtesy of what you were choosing to eat as in the fast-paced world that we live in today we are not taught to be reflective nor as transparent and aware of just how interrelated the ripple effect of all that we do affects how both we and others feel.
Well said Roberta, I too was hooked in by my own lack of self worth and emptiness, believing I needed to be fixed by practitioners that believed they needed to be fixed, as well. As I know now, the energy in which I sought healing or looking for more, is the same energy I received back. Much to appreciate when we see through the avenues that are void of truth and re-connect to who we truly are… that for me too was Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
So cool Roberta. The modalities and overall philosophy presented by those who represent Universal Medicine has definitely been life changing for me. I no longer view my life as something I have to get through, or that it has to be a struggle if I want any rewards or that there is anything to prove. Nothing is asked of you other than to just be yourself and I say that lightly – it indeed feels like a HUGE ask, but the reality is that it is us who have walked away from that in the first place, so really we’re just being asked to return to ourselves and we are lovingly supported in doing that.
The difference I have experienced with Serge Benhayon, from every practitioner and presenter I had met before him, is that here was a man who didn’t seek to ‘hook’ or ‘tantalise’ whatsoever. He offered no ‘quick fix’, no escape and no masking of that which we must truly face, in order to reclaim ourselves back in the power of who we truly are. He held back nought in exposing that which was not true, and in delivering all that is.
And, he walked his talk… Living and breathing his commitment to all and the All – humbleness and power in one, with no need to be put on a pedestal, for the love that he lives holds all as equally capable of living and embodying the same.
This is NOT the way of the new age. The new age puts forth its teachers and so-called ‘healers’ as ‘more’ than you – as holding something you don’t have, but that you need… as such, it prays upon our emptiness, our lack of self-claiming, and our void of true and known worth within.
I also knew I had met the real deal in Serge Benhayon, Roberta. Having spent many years constantly learning and seeing through many imposters, my discernment levels were high, and to this day, I am nought but deeply inspired by him and his ceaseless commitment to living the way of the soul, here on this earth.
So beautiful Victoria what you share here about Serge Benhayon – your deep respect and appreciation for him and all that he brings is deeply felt – thank you.
A very beautiful and true sharing on Serge Benhayon, I relate with all you share, ‘Having spent many years constantly learning and seeing through many imposters, my discernment levels were high, and to this day, I am nought but deeply inspired by him and his ceaseless commitment to living the way of the soul, here on this earth.’
It’s interesting to reflect back truly, on forays into the spiritual new age, and whether they truly brought any sense of a real and lived connection – to oneself, and to one’s place in the life that we lead. I remember dabbling in reiki, in aura soma a little (never did a course), crystals and more Roberta. I remember reading books that were channelled, and even thinking that someone who channelled another supposedly ‘higher being’ was somehow ‘further ahead’ than myself along the spiritual path.
Reflecting back also, I see nothing but emptiness in every last skerrick of these forays. They hooked me into currents of energy and thought patterns that took me into further withdrawal from the actual living of my life, and the claiming of a lived relationship with who I am and engagement with the world.
They tantalised with ‘energetic experiences’ that confirmed yes, that there was definitely ‘more’ than our physical reality – yet was I truly discerning that there were different types or sources of energy? One truly founded in His Love, and one feigning to be so, but actually very and deliberately harmful – designed to hold back our true light and the power of actually embodying it.
There is so much awaiting the one who has not dealt with the desolation within – to take him or her further away from themselves. It’s harm and ugliness needs to be seen – but won’t be (seen), until we ourselves choose to heal that which has left us feeling such a void within. As your story attests to Roberta, this healing is well and truly possible – what’s occurred for you is amazing and to be celebrated deeply.
“I felt ‘met’ without words as such being verbalised.” I remember my first meeting with Serge and I had some questions. One of the them was very personal and I held it back from asking. Serge knew and said you don’t have to ask any questions if you do not want too. This response was different to any experience I had before with a sear. He knew. He felt me. He connected to me. I was understood. My hurt was honored and I was honored for the sensitive tender man I was. The energy in our connection I could not deny. And it is still there stronger than ever ..
When we do ask for the truth it will be revealed “- the response was rapid to fill my emptiness, the void, my need.” Truth is not to be scared of but to be embraced in all its Glory revealing and exposing what is not true.
Absolutely truth is not to be sacred of, we should openly heartedly embrace its all and to expose and let go of what is not true.
‘There has to be more’ / ‘there has to be another way to live’ Thank God for Serge Benhayon who tirelessly presents the answers and understanding to this call. A way that doesn’t demand we follow but remains ever open and supportive should we choose to take the steps and do the unveiling ourselves.
“Love just is”. So true.
Yes.. no need of more words
Isn’t it beautiful when we meet someone such as Serge Benhayon who doesn’t try to fix things but instead, in a graceful and non-imposing manner allows us to unfold in our own way and in our own time.