From Giving Up to Reclaiming Myself as a Son of God

For six years now I have been studying, learning and growing with Universal Medicine. Before Universal Medicine, life did not make sense for me and I had given up on myself, others and life.

Growing up, my mother was protestant and my father belonged to another small church – but neither really cared much about religion.

When it was time for my protestant confirmation, I thought about not doing it – as it was my choice. One of the reasons I did it was because of the big celebration which was held for me… and all the presents and attention I got.

I knew the protestant religion didn’t mean anything to me… when I read the bible or heard stories about Jesus I could not relate to it. When I was sitting in church listening to the priest, I didn’t feel comfortable and it didn’t make sense. Singing songs in the church also made me feel uncomfortable – it was rather artificial.

What I liked in school religion was discussing really how to care about others and about society – and this was something I was interested in. But religion itself for me was an empty word and had no meaning. We hardly went to church; only at Christmas as far as I can remember…

As a child I had a strong sadness, I felt very alone, I was crying a lot and felt that the world was different and that people didn’t understand me; I didn’t know how to deal with it.

Later I blamed my parents strongly for it, but it was not their fault. I now see that this is the way I had chosen to Iive for so many lifetimes. I realise how much I had given up on who I truly am, and the knowing in my heart.

When I was in my mid 20’s, I decided that there is no God.

Life didn’t make sense. I didn’t live in harmony and I only saw misery around me.

When I was 30, an illness made me stop and look for a different way to live.

Half a year later I met my beautiful partner and experienced a connection I had not felt before.

We both went to England to participate at a workshop held by Serge Benhayon.

Then everything started to slowly change.

The way Serge lived and what he was expressing made sense: he taught us that everything is energy.

…And life began to make sense again.

I agreed and felt that he spoke and lived truth.

The challenge was to constantly let go of all the things that didn’t support being truly me, and to start to accept and allow myself to feel my amazing essence – that there is love and joy in my heart. In expressing it I can expand and share this with others.

It took years to let Serge’s message in – that we are all love and that it is about being me. So simple.

I began to understand that we are not really separate but one: that’s why brotherhood and harmony with everybody is necessary. And that we are here on earth to reclaim that we are originally divine and loving by nature… then to reflect that to others who have forgotten or, are strongly denying it.

I know now that true religion is in me. True Religion is to be in connection with my divine essence: the connection I have to myself.

All I have to do is become still and give myself the permission to feel me; my Soul and God reveals the depth of love that I am

I am a Son of God. Divine and amazing in essence – we all equally are. And my purpose is to be a reflection of love to other people.

Today I could feel the pain of having not reflected my truth to other people: this hurts deeply in my body.

I can feel how strongly I have held my truth and true expression back to avoid reactions or to not rock the boat. I’ve not allowed myself to be seen and heard as joyful and loving. This was deeply ingrained in me, but now it feels time to speak and live the truth.

I have lived denying my own power, inner-knowing and amazing beauty. Now I am beginning to feel how awesome and beautiful I am.

So, welcome Janina – Son of God.

I am a Son of God and Universal Medicine has reminded me of that fact: and, that we are all equal Sons of God, all-knowing in our divine essence.

By Janina Koch, Cologne/Germany

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550 thoughts on “From Giving Up to Reclaiming Myself as a Son of God

  1. “I can feel how strongly I have held my truth and true expression back to avoid reactions or to not rock the boat.” Oh how we forsake so much for such short-lived and illusionary calm.

  2. ‘We are all love and it’s about being me’ – such a simple message, and nothing that we have to do, get or prove – even to ourselves, to be this: we already are it.

  3. So simple isn’t it, “All I have to do is become still and give myself the permission to feel me; my Soul and God reveals the depth of love that I am”. This week on going to bed I felt an onslaught of stuff coming into my head of things I needed to do, what I wasn’t doing and random ‘oh I should do this or that’. I said to myself just surrender, and like that, it all stopped and my body relaxed. There were no thoughts of this or that, just simply feeling my body and making a choice to go to sleep. When I was all in my head, it was all about me and what I was or wasn’t doing but when I stopped and surrendered I felt myself and also being one with all.

  4. How powerful is it when we reflect and confirm to others how easy it is to live as a Son of God, no apologies just a reclaiming that offers so much wisdom and love that connects us to our divinity and the greater plan we are all a part of.

  5. There is something deeply gorgeous about listening to someone who makes sense, and Serge Benhayon makes a lot of sense.

  6. We try to deny and forget that we are sons of God, but our body always remembers it deep down and waits for our return.

  7. I find it interesting how it is possible to belong to a church but not really care for religion in general.

  8. We make this notion of being a son of God such a big deal, we mystify it and make it look glamorous when the truth of the matter is that every single person on this planet is a son of God – the king, the homeless and the drug dealer. We are all sons of God, it’s up to us to let our godliness come through and shine a light on this miserable world of ours.

    1. Yes Viktoria, being a son of God has been bastardized to mean that you have to be a certain way and live a certain way in order to be a son of God. We see what we want to see. If we want to see God we will see God in every face we meet and all around us.

      1. We see what we want to see, yes Aimee – we see whatever it is that we want to maintain our reality.

  9. Holding back our truth for fear of upsetting someone is a game that many of us like to play. It is a game of not wanting to be responsible for the difference that we make in life.

  10. To understand and embrace true religion and what divinity means in very practical terms is only veiled by anything we have taken on to not live responsibly in the inevitable interconnectedness with the whole, hence the need to discard what is not religious in the true meaning of the word, i.e. everything that separates us from knowing ourselves to be the equal sons of God.

  11. “Before Universal Medicine, life did not make sense for me and I had given up on myself, others and life.” These words I could have written, as could have many others I know who have attended Universal Medicine events since they first began to be presented by Serge Benhayon 19 years ago. It always seemed I was missing many pieces of the puzzle I called life and I often suspected that the life I was living was a lesser version of what was possible. But it wasn’t until I met Serge and began to listen to what he was sharing that I realised what I had felt was true, as finally here was someone making sense of life and that there was so much more to it than what the majority of the world was telling me there was.

  12. Yes, beautiful Janina. It also took me years to really start living what Serge Benhayon is teaching. Knowing it, and understanding it, deeming the teachings are beautiful, is not helping a bit, it remains still a head thing, then can even turn out to be an ideal which actually destroys the body. It almost did in my case.

  13. What I’m finding so incredible is the many layers of connection back to God. Every layer expands me to a new layer and depth of love. The more I connect back to God the more I wonder how I ever stepped so far away from such divine love.

  14. It occurs to me that there are two realities in life we can live by, one that confirms the fact of who we truly are and one which does not and only confirms instead how small and hurt-full the world can be. Shows that even though hurt is real, it is not part of the truth of who we are.

  15. If we were reflected and shown the true meaning of religion as we grow up, that is to be at one with our Soul, God, the universe and all held within it including each other, our resistance would be non-existent, as we would realise that being the Son of God is in fact our innate way of being.

  16. “All I have to do is become still and give myself the permission to feel me; my Soul and God reveals the depth of love that I am” it is so simple, but not so easy at times as we have piled so much over our divine essence that is not us, but as we connect the truth of who we are comes forth to be lived expressed and enjoyed.

  17. The only way to stop a Son of God? Tell them that they’re not and give them a million distractions to prove the lie. But no matter how many falsehoods are created there will still come a time when each Son will realise they are divine. Once we do let’s not entertain it like a high idea but embrace it for real as you do here Janina.

  18. Universal Medicine has been unwavering in presenting the Ageless Wisdom which is constantly reminding us that we are equal Son of Gods. Something I had known but not sure how to access or appreciate and claim. Today that is a different story thanks to Universal Medicine. Over the years I have re-connected to my inner essence, my soul and here it is without question that I resinate the qualities of God as I was created by him. Living this in my everyday is one I am still claiming and my whole body comes alive when I express and eminate the All of who I Am.

  19. The everyday quality of what Serge presents brings my relationship with God to life in the here and now, relevant to what is happening in the world right now. It feels alive and full of love – a blessing for us all after a long search for something that makes sense of the world, of God and our place in it.

  20. ‘One of the reasons I did it was because of the big celebration which was held for me… and all the presents and attention I got.’ This feels like a carrot on a stick because if there are any children who do not want to be confirmed what better way to have them change their mind than a party just for them. It falls beautifully into that part of us that craves recognition.

  21. ‘And life began to make sense again’ is the point I am at with my life.

    True religion is within us all but are we willing to be still and feel where we are at in our lives. I heard someone at a meeting share they didn’t like meditation as they would rather prefer to go the gym to sweat and workout. How many people are caught in the busyness of it all and all it takes is to give yourself permission and be still and its all there – if we allow it.

  22. Whenever we have conditions we cut the cord to the deep knowing in us that we are enough. ‘If this person behaves this way, if I have a good day’ – this endless way of holding the world to ransom is just an extremely sad substitute for living life connected to the facts – that we are all sons of God here. Knowing this there is nothing I need, nothing to fix, just love to live and the truth to express. Thank you Janina for reminding me of this natural state I was born to enjoy.

  23. “…And life began to make sense again” through the presentations of Universal Medicine of the Ageless Wisdom everything that I have felt and knew but didn’t recognise that I knew just makes sense.

  24. Thank you for your inspirational blog Janina. What you share here is something I relate to in as much as I too have not always stepped up and shared what I know is the truth as often as I could have!

  25. We are all so much more than we allow ourselves to be as you have beautifully shared and inspired us here in your blog Janina. When we give ourselves permission to feel who we truly are within we start to return to embracing and expressing the depth and quality of the love we naturally are.

  26. In us all lives a light Divine, as pure and pristine as the day we were born. Our task here on Earth is simply to not give focus to what is not of this light and by virtue of this movement realign ourselves with the absolute truth of who we are, where we come from and what we are here to do. In this way we dissolve the shadows that have come to obscure the truth from our eyes and know once more that the depth of love we feel in our hearts is the one and same love that beats within us all. Thus the true Son rises.

  27. Yes claiming who we truly are and being able to see and feel the forces that are around the ensure that we don’t feel and claim that can be equally as interesting. I know for me it is a continuing unfolding, claiming I am the Son of God, that I have and hold all the the universe, its wonderment and love right inside of me……that feels very amazing to feel.

  28. Ha; Welcome back Janina to the kingdom of God. A true celebration awaits every moment of every day when you live that amazing essence within. Like you say; “The challenge was to constantly let go of all the things that didn’t support being truly me, and to start to accept and allow myself to feel my amazing essence – that there is love and joy in my heart.” – to live every day ..

  29. ‘…we are all love and that it is about being me…’ You’re right Janina, it doesn’t get any simpler than that. Learning how to live that is another matter – we so love complication! Thank goodness we have the gift of time, and the grace that comes through dedication to purpose.

  30. It amazing to see what we have all done and not done under the banner of religion. I know growing up religion didn’t make sense and I very much related it to going to church and classes at school. If you asked me what religion was I would have said a similar thing, a bible, Jesus, God, the church etc but I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what it was for me, only about the things I did around it. Now with the awareness gained from Universal Medicine I can see more of the personal relationship we naturally have with religion and now meaning much much more then something we do.

  31. Beautiful to read Janina of your journey from giving up to reclaiming yourself as a Son of God, Universal Medicine is a true blessing to humanity for always presenting and reflecting this truth.

  32. It’s very honest to say that the only reason you went along with a religion is for the presents and the attention – I can only imagine your realisation when this came to you. Thank you for writing ❤

  33. It’s one thing to hear words, another to make them your own, live them and make them part of life. Yes many of us agree, that we are equally beautiful, sweet and kind, but what does it look like to live knowing this? It takes time to discard the false beliefs and gently redirect our energy. But how beautiful life can be when we cease this constant struggling to deny our sacredness. Thank you Janina for the inspiration you share here to embrace and know and test our divinity – we are the real deal.

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