From Giving Up to Reclaiming Myself as a Son of God

For six years now I have been studying, learning and growing with Universal Medicine. Before Universal Medicine, life did not make sense for me and I had given up on myself, others and life.

Growing up, my mother was protestant and my father belonged to another small church – but neither really cared much about religion.

When it was time for my protestant confirmation, I thought about not doing it – as it was my choice. One of the reasons I did it was because of the big celebration which was held for me… and all the presents and attention I got.

I knew the protestant religion didn’t mean anything to me… when I read the bible or heard stories about Jesus I could not relate to it. When I was sitting in church listening to the priest, I didn’t feel comfortable and it didn’t make sense. Singing songs in the church also made me feel uncomfortable – it was rather artificial.

What I liked in school religion was discussing really how to care about others and about society – and this was something I was interested in. But religion itself for me was an empty word and had no meaning. We hardly went to church; only at Christmas as far as I can remember…

As a child I had a strong sadness, I felt very alone, I was crying a lot and felt that the world was different and that people didn’t understand me; I didn’t know how to deal with it.

Later I blamed my parents strongly for it, but it was not their fault. I now see that this is the way I had chosen to Iive for so many lifetimes. I realise how much I had given up on who I truly am, and the knowing in my heart.

When I was in my mid 20’s, I decided that there is no God.

Life didn’t make sense. I didn’t live in harmony and I only saw misery around me.

When I was 30, an illness made me stop and look for a different way to live.

Half a year later I met my beautiful partner and experienced a connection I had not felt before.

We both went to England to participate at a workshop held by Serge Benhayon.

Then everything started to slowly change.

The way Serge lived and what he was expressing made sense: he taught us that everything is energy.

…And life began to make sense again.

I agreed and felt that he spoke and lived truth.

The challenge was to constantly let go of all the things that didn’t support being truly me, and to start to accept and allow myself to feel my amazing essence – that there is love and joy in my heart. In expressing it I can expand and share this with others.

It took years to let Serge’s message in – that we are all love and that it is about being me. So simple.

I began to understand that we are not really separate but one: that’s why brotherhood and harmony with everybody is necessary. And that we are here on earth to reclaim that we are originally divine and loving by nature… then to reflect that to others who have forgotten or, are strongly denying it.

I know now that true religion is in me. True Religion is to be in connection with my divine essence: the connection I have to myself.

All I have to do is become still and give myself the permission to feel me; my Soul and God reveals the depth of love that I am

I am a Son of God. Divine and amazing in essence – we all equally are. And my purpose is to be a reflection of love to other people.

Today I could feel the pain of having not reflected my truth to other people: this hurts deeply in my body.

I can feel how strongly I have held my truth and true expression back to avoid reactions or to not rock the boat. I’ve not allowed myself to be seen and heard as joyful and loving. This was deeply ingrained in me, but now it feels time to speak and live the truth.

I have lived denying my own power, inner-knowing and amazing beauty. Now I am beginning to feel how awesome and beautiful I am.

So, welcome Janina – Son of God.

I am a Son of God and Universal Medicine has reminded me of that fact: and, that we are all equal Sons of God, all-knowing in our divine essence.

By Janina Koch, Cologne/Germany

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588 thoughts on “From Giving Up to Reclaiming Myself as a Son of God

  1. Life only makes sense when we see and feel life though our inner heart, from here we see the devastation and turmoil around us yet we have a deep knowing that supports us to feel how deeply loved we all are and that how we are currently living is not it.

  2. “I have lived denying my own power, inner-knowing and amazing beauty. Now I am beginning to feel how awesome and beautiful I am.” Beautiful Janina. So many of us are living less than – and that serves no-one. Time to reclaim ourselves.

  3. What we deny ourselves, we deny others, and the emptiness we feel in this world is because we are collectively denying others and ourselves equally the true essence of who we are.

  4. We live so far away from who we truly are, from what we truly are that it can take us years, decades even to return to this natural state of being. We can actually be very addicted to the misery, to the feeling of unworthiness that it takes us time, step after step to let go of this and start to walk with our heart again.

  5. ‘…And life began to make sense again.’ Yes, when I first met Serge Benhayon I could feel the truth he lives. All the lies I saw in society, in family that I’d wondered how I would ever live with, now all made sense. This is still developing in me as I notice the lies all around me, and that I live too because it’s ‘easier’ than accepting how far humanity is from living the glory we truly are. Deep gratitude to Serge Benhayon for showing me that actually it’s not easier to pretend humans are just human, but that we have fallen, and it’s possible to return to who we truly are.

  6. Looking out and seeing the harshness and cruelty in the world, it’s understandable how many of us have felt deeply hurt by this and afraid to show the world who we really are. But equally so, when we allow ourselves the space and time to connect to what we always knew was true, a whole other world unfolds, one that is full of joy, harmony and love, and tells us that we come from the same Divine source as God.

  7. Understanding our true origin and claiming we are divinely connected as a Son of God delivers an understanding of how it can be confusing when religious dogmas that are man made keep us numb and dumb to what is Truly is going on energetically.

  8. Realising that we are all an essential part of the Universe is inspiring to take responsibility for living all that we are.

  9. “Today I could feel the pain of having not reflected my truth to other people: this hurts deeply in my body.” I agree Janina, this was a stand out line reminding me to appreciate what I can offer to others by way of a soulful, loving reflection, and the value in that knowing what it has meant to me from others.

    1. Yes, we are never not reflecting so if I’m in a bad mood I have a responsibility to look at what’s going on and bring an understanding for myself that heals so I can return to being a beacon of truth. There is great pain knowing who I am and not living this – as there is with everyone whether people are aware of this or not.

      1. Knowing this brings a deeper sense of responsibility – knowing that we are always reflecting out to others – just from being ourselves. What do we choose to reflect today?

  10. ‘I now see that this is the way I had chosen to live for so many lifetimes.’ There are some things I know I do and struggle to move away from. Many of them feel very, very familiar and rather than give myself a hard time for not instantly walking away from unloving choices, I can acknowledge they are very old and appreciate every choice that is made with love,

  11. We initiate ourselves into and out of who we naturally are, but regardless of how we choose to lead our lives the natural impulse and the fact that we are undoubtedly from divine design can not be altered.

  12. Wow from going to having ‘a strong sadness, I felt very alone, I was crying a lot’ to ‘I have lived denying my own power, inner-knowing and amazing beauty. Now I am beginning to feel how awesome and beautiful I am.’ that is pretty amazing. What you have shared here can help many. It is just coming back to the true connection within and being supported in doing this.

  13. God is the beholder of love and we carry that quality within us too. This can be lived in full when one chooses to re-connect with their body.

  14. There is a lot of giving up in the world and it is quite contagious but once we live a level of fullness we stop being touched by the attraction to give up.

  15. “I am a Son of God. Divine and amazing in essence – we all equally are. And my purpose is to be a reflection of love to other people.” So pure. So simple. So unimposing. So inspiring.

    1. I agree Sarah – so simple but so true and as you say – so inspiring. We are all divine. How does this play out in our everyday living?

  16. “I have lived denying my own power, inner-knowing and amazing beauty. Now I am beginning to feel how awesome and beautiful I am.” Truly beautiful Janina. Welcome home.

  17. Blame really does keep us trapped in perpetuating the negative cycle we are in and effectively cuts us off our potential from learning and growing from the experience.

  18. The Ageless Wisdom Teachings continue to deliver the same message it has offered through the ages; that we are far more that our physicality and in-truth the world within us is where our true way of being, our Godliness and purpose here is known, which can be lived in this plane of life through our connection to Soul. Thankfully today through the livingness and presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine we once again are presented with the opportunity to explore and restore our innate way of being guided by our connection to our truth, our love within, a way of being that is truly Soulful and as such religious in nature known as The Way of The Livingness.

  19. It is utterly and completely incredible-fantastic how Serge Benhayon brings the word religion back to life again for so many people who have walked away from it. And that he does by introducing the fact of energy back into religion is fundamentally brilliant, because by this small yet powerful equation, we are all empowered again to live our true religion – the lives we have and as such: the learning we encounter.

  20. What you speak of Janina is true health and well-being. It is medicine. You came to realise how much you had denied yourself as being a Son of God and this alone is going to lead to a way of living that is not truly in line with who you are. That way of living leads to illness and disease from the ill energy of not living your true self. It is crucial we come to realise this if we are ever going to truly heal any of our ills.

    1. Absolutely Joshua, the sooner we realise we are the creator and healer of all our ills, the faster we can get on with eliminating our ill ways caused by the ill energy we are choosing, so the closer we are to healing.

  21. Reclaiming who we are is significant and yet we so often ignore the fact that we are living a shadow of the lives we could, what is our purpose, why are we here, how can I serve and support my community, how can I live with responsibility? These are real pertinent questions to ask ourselves and yet we check out, give up and look the other way, every day. what does it look like to reclaim yourself? I am inspired by The Ancient Wisdom, within dog us all and Serge Benhayon fellow student fo life, concerning this exploration, but it up to every one of us individually to make our own choices and I love the empowerment of this, nothing can be given and there are no special ones.

    1. What does it look like to reclaim yourself? And what does one reclaim themselves from? From the false pictures, expectations and demands we have put upon ourselves and each other, in a world that is struggling and a mess. It doesn’t mean living an exalted life where we’re lofty and disconnected, on a pedestal of our own making, but one where we commit, with dedication but no perfection, to living and being who we are, in every moment, committing to every area of our life, from our relationships, jobs and communities.

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