Have you ever seen a kid getting upset and throwing a tantrum? Have you seen how they ignore and defy and do exactly the opposite of what their parent said? When I was a child, that was me. I’d kick and scream and shout.
Famously, I once redecorated the interior of a museum foyer with the contents of my smarties packet, such was my fury at what I was being asked to do.
When we grow up and leave home there’s a sense that we say “At last now I can do things my way.” Stay up late? No problem. Do that essay? No thanks mate! Take the bins out? Not right now. As an adult our great dream seems to be all about being free from responsibility, even if it’s only temporary.
Yet everything about life is telling us this doesn’t work. Mortgages, kids, cars and houses, relationships, families and physical exercise, the responsibility list soon grows. So if we can’t avoid these essential tasks and they actually help support our life and health, what is it that makes us resist them so?
Through the presentations of Serge Benhayon I have come to understand that there are two distinct elements inside of every woman and man. There is a Spirit that recklessly does what it wants and willfully makes choices that make no practical sense. It indulges in games and anything where it gets its way and gains a momentary high. And you can be sure it will viciously fight anybody that will dare to point this out. But there is another part of us and that is the Soul. It’s wise, and is patient most of all. It’s simple and straightforward, kind and gentle, but firm, strong and direct.
Today I can feel that every moment I am receiving impulses of how to be in life. Read that book, speak to that person, walk this way or that. Every choice flows from an impulse – but who comes up with that? The more I experience life, the more I can see that each impulse comes from either my Soul or Spirit.
So when my Soul offers what I am to do, do I listen and honour this to the hilt; do I follow it with grace and style and deliver it in full? Or do I say ‘not right now’ and find something else I think I might like to do? And isn’t that the rub, for if this impulse doesn’t come from my Soul, is it really me at all?
For a few years I’ve been doing Esoteric Yoga courses and hearing quite a bit about surrender. I’ve always had a picture of this being like being very relaxed – kind of floppy if you like! But what I see today is that true surrender is not restricted to a session or a workshop day but actually lives inside every moment of our life.
When I get the feeling to act lovingly and I listen, as I would to an ever-loving parent, this is surrender. When I feel to walk with joy and fun and flaunt it shamelessly, this is surrender. When I share what I am feeling is there to be said, without expectation, this is surrender. When I feel to give myself a loving hot bath and I do, this is surrender too.
Surrender is any moment I listen to, and honour in full, this communication inside of me.
At first it was hard to hear, I had ignored it for so many years. But after attending a few Esoteric Healing courses it became clear that these impulses were just there waiting for me to heed. The more I followed these impulses, the more my life and body started to feel clear.
But the Spirit does not like to give up its throne without a fight. And so it’s quite content to continue to suggest a relentless list of alternatives you might like. It will often use ‘loving things’, seemingly important jobs or tasks, to sabotage and distract from what is true to do. So it can seem like it is good and ticking boxes in life, but ultimately it’s still the reckless driver in charge of the body and its choices.
The greatest way I have found to discern the difference between Spirit and Soul is by the quality in my body. Whatever the Spirit does, however nice or good, it does it in a rush, a forceful, relentless, determined drive. This is so different to the even and consistent way the Soul tends to be. When I live this way, and do what is true, I get a lovely warm feeling in my body.
Writing this blog is a good example. I felt to do it, put it off and did my finances instead. But the feeling kept coming, so it was clear there was nothing else to do but get my phone out and get typing… so here we are.
So what if we do actually know exactly what we need to do in life? What if, like a constant ever-loving parent, our Soul is constantly communicating to us the perfect, loving thing to do?
If this was the case, and it is, then doesn’t that explain how awfully tired so many of us are? For we have to work pretty hard to override and ignore these natural impulses in life.
What would our life be like if we surrendered to the fact that there really is no ‘me’ at all, but just two qualities of energy coming through our body? What if we surrendered to the fact that although our physical frame had to cop the consequences, that all those choices, movements and plans we made, were actually not ours at all?
What will our day be like if we surrender to what our Soul communicates to us?
By Joseph Barker, Web Designer, Writer and Doodler, Melbourne, Australia