Category: – Relationship | Self, Family, Work

The Unbearable Ferocity of Rejection

by Alan Johnston, Pottsville, Australia

Scene 1: – Trees all around and the sweet sense of dusk settling in.

Men are talking with each other in an open-hearted, honest way. Sharing the kinds of unbearable rejection they have all felt and the ferocity of the life-responses that followed. The respect and caring is palpable. There is no blame to speak of – although it may be mentioned in passing. I, for one, am deeply grateful. The healing grows week to week. And as a man who has had minimal male friends in half a century, I begin to love these men and comprehend what brotherhood feels like… Continue reading “The Unbearable Ferocity of Rejection” →

What I Love about Christmas

by Anne Malatt, Australia

What I love about Christmas is the stillness.

I love the feeling that we have stopped for a day to spend time with ourselves and with those we love.

Of course, there is often a frantic rush to do things before and after, and for many even during Christmas day, but it feels like there is a possibility for everyone to feel stillness on this day. Continue reading “What I Love about Christmas” →

Road Rage

by Anne Malatt, Australia

I used to suffer with road rage. My veneer of ‘niceness’ would crack when I was driving and all my pent-up frustration and rage would come pouring out. There were no words for how I felt and I used to invent expletives. I was still like this when my children were little: they would squeal with delight when they heard a new word like ‘dick-brain’ and repeat it over and over.

My pet hates were people who would pull into the passing lane and drive slowly, so that no-one could pass anyone; people who drove slowly, for any reason; and tailgaters. I love driving, but I liked to drive fast: I was usually running late, and I did not like anyone getting in my way. Continue reading “Road Rage” →

The Best Way I Know How To Thank Serge Benhayon

I first heard about Universal Medicine through some colleagues at work a couple of years ago. I was curious, and so went along to a Livingness 1 workshop, started reading one of Serge Benhayon’s books, and I think I’ve attended everything I can since!

I live with my partner and our 2 ½ year old son. My partner and I have a “normal” relationship, I guess – we chat, watch movies, go on holidays, play with our son, and visit our families… Until recently however, we never really connected with each other. We were great at running the house and ourselves like a kind of “business”, if you like – we were good at organising everything and we knew a “good” relationship must involve “our” time and some sex. I made sure that myself and “all of it” was under control; everything ran smoothly and looked great. But was it really great? Continue reading “The Best Way I Know How To Thank Serge Benhayon” →

A Beautiful Story

I want to share something beautiful that happened to me.

It starts with me being persistently psychologically and emotionally abused and isolated from the rest of my family, by my brother, being terrorised throughout my youth until 14 years old when I came up with the ‘brilliant’ solution – not of standing up for myself – but by numbing myself with drugs. I couldn’t work out what was ‘wrong’ with me to attract such abuse, or how to behave to stop it. As I grew up I had to invent some basis of self to fit into the world, so my entire self-esteem proceeded to be based upon a tragic array of glamorous illusions of societal constructed prerequisites for beauty and success and subsequent acceptability.

I’ve spent the better part of 51 years trying to define who I am by what I look like and what I do… the problem is, I never could. I unconsciously manipulated every choice towards seeking recognition and being acceptable. I moulded myself according to standards that I didn’t agree with or believe in, that didn’t honour my inner truth, my natural expression, me as a person, or as a woman. The truth is that the constant search of ‘what to do with my life’ always felt empty, exhausting, demoralising and impossible to resolve. The way I looked could never fulfill the world’s ‘ideal’ of beautiful; therefore, by those markers I was never going to be an acceptable human being or woman, and as a result my self-loathing blossomed into an ever-present lack of confidence and slight depression. Continue reading “A Beautiful Story” →

SPEAKING UP

Growing up, I was always a quiet child. In my early teens this continued; I was never loud or outspoken, and I didn’t really talk about how I felt to anyone. What I did though, was become really angry, so I started my relationship with heavy metal music… because listening to angry music seemed to have a calming effect on me when I was upset.

I was disgusted at the behaviour of a lot of my mates. They were rude, offensive and just didn’t seem to care about anything or anyone except themselves… yet I didn’t say anything to them because I didn’t want them to not like me or call me names or give me a hard time – I didn’t want to rock the boat. Continue reading “SPEAKING UP” →